If A Never Existed: It's A 'Girl' Thing
Disclaimer" I own nothing, I gain nothing.
AN: OK I know this is unbelieveably late, I know, but hopefully you'll all forgive my sorry ass. Please? Anyways the new chapter is here now so now that I've done my thing, you can do yours, so enjoy! R&R.
AN2: I'd also like to thank all my awesome reviewers, it doesn't matter that I've only got a few cause they're the best!
The walk home had come with a great amount of needed silence for Emily. She had the very distinct feeling that she was drowning, a feeling not totally unknown to her if she was honest. The feeling of being smothered by one's own feelings was never a pleasant one, yet Emily knew it all too well. This feeling was, at one moment in time, was caused by the infamous Alison.
It was dark out, the streetlights offering little comfort as she made her way home lost in thought. Her conversation with Spencer was playing in loop in her mind, Spencer knew Emily well, they all knew each other well, and most of the time it was a good thing. Now though, Emily wasn't so sure.
The more she thought about it the more her thoughts drifted to Alison; it was like her mind was a glutton for punishment, she couldn't help herself. It wasn't even romantic thoughts either, which surprised her slightly, it was more like shifting through every moment, every memory and trying to separate the truth from the lies.
It was almost impossible though, Alison was a born liar, a master in twisting and manipulating any situation to her advantage; any person too. Maybe that's what really bugged her, why she kept Alison so close in her memories; trying to decode any sign that any of what Alison had projected her way was in anyway true, real.
Either way it didn't really matter now, Alison was gone, forever for all she knew. She hoped it was true, that she was permanently rid of the sole cause of her nightmares, her fears. Alison wasn't worth her thoughts and if she ever found out that Emily was thinking of her so adamantly, no matter the context or feeling behind it, she'd be quite pleased with herself, always the center of attention.
"Hey." A soft voice called her out from her thoughts, connecting her back to the world around her. She blinked dazedly, realizing she had been walking past Maya's house when the voice called out to her.
She looked to her right and there on the porch, holding a mug of some warm liquid it seemed, was Maya St. Germain. Emily returned the soft smile the girl was currently sending her way, "Hey." She replied barely above a whisper, luckily Maya was good at reading lips.
Emily watched as Maya's head tilted in a curious way, the soft smile turning into that ever enticing smirk as the girl gestured to the spot next to her on the step. Pausing, Emily weighed her options. It wasn't so late that she'd get in trouble with her mom, she had at least 30minutes before Mrs. Fields expected her and her house was only down the street…
Decision made, "Just getting out of practice?" Maya grinned as Emily took the previously suggested spot, though not as close as Maya preferred. She rolled her eyes subtly at herself.
Emily folded her arms over her knees, turning her head to sneak a peek at Maya, only to find she was already staring at Emily, hard. "Yea." Was the breathless response as Emily found herself trapped in Maya's intense gaze.
Maya's smirk grew a cocky edge noticing Emily's rapture, "Want some?" she whispered, causing Emily to lean closer to hear her words. Emily frowned, confused, "Hot chocolate," she held up the mug in offer, "It's good, I promise. Besides…your lips are looking a little blue."
Emily fought to keep her reaction to Maya's words hidden, but the blush was a dead giveaway to exactly where her thoughts had drifted too when Maya had insinuated her lips needed warming. "Uh, yea, sure. Thanks." She all but choked out taking the mug gently, her fingers sliding against Maya's as she did. She nearly choked again and the shock that traveled through her body in response.
Maya laughed softly as she spotted the light blush coating Emily's cheeks as her lips sipped from cup; almost exactly where Maya's lips had been placed moments before…if only. "It's good right?"
Emily tried her best to ignore the lingering taste of chocolate and…raspberries? 'That must be Maya.' She thought licking her lips a second time to savor the mixture, ok now she was officially creeping herself out. "Yea, it's good." She smiled, handing the cup back.
Maya let the girl gather her thoughts for a while, giving a short reprieve so as to not push too far too fast. "So…what were you thinking about, before when you were walking by? I called your name like three times before you stopped?"
Emily froze at the question, unsure of what to do, how to answer. Looking at Maya again, she sighed, "Just thinking about something Spencer said, well tried to say, to me earlier in the locker room."
Maya's eyes narrowed playfully, "Is that all I get? No details?" she smirked and bumped Emily's shoulder, both releasing the girl's tension and achieving her goal of getting closer to Emily as now her left side was pressed completely, but gently, against Emily's right.
Emily smiled in thanks, "She just…made some comments about Alison…and you." Her voice showed her nervousness as she whispered the last part.
Maya smirked; seemingly uncaring that Emily and her friend, whom she hadn't yet met, were talking about her, "I knew you'd be thinking about me, I'm just that awesome. Were you guys fighting over me? Did she want some quality Maya time? Girl should've tried sooner, my time is precious and it just so happens that another cutie has booked it." Maya bumped Emily's shoulder, loving how the girl's blush deepened.
Emily rolled her eyes, trying to distract from her blush, "Right, anyway, that's not what we were talking about." Emily looked down, avoiding Maya's eyes till she was positive the blush was gone.
Maya was amused, but also curious, "No? Well then what were you guys talking about?" She had a clue as to what and she figured that Emily wouldn't voluntarily offer any information up, she pushed. "Comparing the new girl to the ever mysterious Alison?"
Emily's head shot up, 'Bingo,' Maya cheered to herself. Maya shrugged, "No worries, it's bound to happen. It's a small town, and I moved into her house, comparisons are unavoidable." She placed a comforting hand on Emily's arm.
Emily relaxed, enjoying the warmth of Maya's hand as it seeped through her jacket sleeve. She gave a relieved smile, "I should get going." She voiced regrettably, but didn't move.
Maya pouted a bit, they giggled act her antics. "Ok…thanks for the night cap, I have to say your company is very enjoyable." She stressed her words a bit, adding extra meaning that Emily didn't miss, but chose to ignore anyway. They stood.
"Anytime." Emily moved in for a hug, wrapping an arm around Maya's shoulders. Maya grabbed Emily around her waist with her free arm, pulling her in tight and holding her there for longer than necessary; neither girl minded. Then as she slowly let go Maya placed a chaste kiss on Emily's cheek, right above her jaw.
Emily shivered, "See you tomorrow?" it came out questioning.
Maya was amused, "Definitely." She smiled.
"Night Maya." Emily walked backwards a ways, unable to move her gaze from Maya.
"Sweet dreams, Emily." Maya smirked, then winked and walked into her house, leaving poor Emily flustered as she continued her walk home.
Next morning Emily found herself on her porch, having her much needed second cup of coffee, last night was so great in the sleep department. She had plenty of time before school, as per usual, and was spending her time enjoying a crossword puzzle. Yes, she was that kind of girl, and then she looked up and found Maya walking her way.
"Hey." Maya grinned cheerfully though her eyes looked like she'd rather be back in bed…hmm Maya in bed… "Please, please, please tell me you're not actually doing something that requires brain cells this early in the morning…and that you have coffee in that cup of yours?" she pouted.
Emily grinned, "Not a morning person I gather." Emily laughed, "And yes, this is coffee, want me to get you some?" Emily offered, trying desperately not to get caught looking Maya over.
Maya of course caught it; she didn't miss much of anything that Emily did though. "I'd rather share…can I have a sip?" Maya's voice was soft but anything from innocent, almost raspy.
Emily handed over her cup, but Maya rested her hand over Emily's for an extended period before taking the cup fully. She leaned back with a sigh getting comfortable next to her crush and sipped from her cup, "So…what are we working on?" she peeked over at the forgotten puzzle resting comfortably on Emily's lap.
Emily started, "Oh, uh crossword." She blushed at her lack of response.
Maya smirked, "Yes, but what one are you working on?" She giggled as Emily rolled her eyes before pointing to the clue, Maya read it aloud, "Five letter word meaning beautiful. Oh! That's easy!"
Emily frowned in slight amusement as Maya grabbed the pen and paper from her, "What are you writing? What's the answer?" she tried to peek but Maya moved away too quickly.
"Just wait." Emily did and when Maya put the paper back in her hands she couldn't stop the blush.
"Really? You can't be serious." She squeaked utterly embarrassed and flattered at the same time, for there in the tiny little boxes was her name written in Maya's handwriting.
"Oh, I'm very serious." Maya smirked, but otherwise remained quiet.
A pause, then, "You look tired." Emily said, watching the girl closely.
Maya shrugged, "The works sprung a leak and floated my room so I've been demoted to the coach." She gave a half grin. "Well that and I found some more of Alison's pictures in my room and in the basement…she's everywhere. I wish she'd just go away." Maya exclaimed laughing a bit, but then noticed Emily's change in mood.
Emily frowned, "Yea…I know the feeling." Maya cursed herself for being so stupid, she didn't know the details of Emily's history with Alison but she had a feeling it wasn't a good one.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought it up." Maya squeezed the girl's shoulder affectionately and pulled her into her arms, rubbing her back tenderly. Steps sounded from the sidewalk but both girls were too caught up in the feeling of each other's arms so neither heard them until they reached the porch.
"Is everything alright?" Pam asked her voice loud enough to break the girls apart. Emily looked to her with wide eyes whereas Maya let her eyes linger on Emily for a moment longer before looking her way.
"Mom, this is Maya St. Germain." Emily awkwardly gestured, Maya smiled in amusement.
Pam paused, watching how Maya smiled at her daughter then offered her hand, "Oh right…Maya." She completed with a fake smile.
Maya inwardly smirked, plastering an over the top smile on her face and jumped from her seat, hugging Pam. "Hi!" Pam stiffened immediately, and patted the girl's back awkwardly. Maya chuckled slightly and pulled back. Emily merely watched, shaking her head and stood up as well.
"How is your family settling in?" she gave Emily a suspicious look, "Good I hope." She smiled politely.
Emily kept the smirk from her face, "Well it's kind of hard when your room gets flooded and you have to sleep on the couch." She and Maya share a meaningful glance.
Pam looked at the girl concerned, finally noticing the bags under her eyes, "Oh you poor thing!"
Maya grinned bashfully, "It's ok, really, the couch isn't that bad." Both Emily and Pam gave her a disbelieving look.
"Sure." Pam said unbelieving the girl's excuse.
"And that's why you're not sleeping?" Emily threw in coyly.
Pam looked utterly convinced now, "Maya…why don't you just stay with us until everything gets fixed? You can stay in Emily's room." She smiled sincerely this time.
The girls look at each other, Emily's eyes wide and stunned, Maya's full of mischief and smirking. Finally Emily nodded, Maya's grinned turned toward Pam, "Thank you."
Pam nodded, "No problem, really. Now you girls should get to school, see you later, have a good day girls!" she called behind her, dismissing both Emily and Maya.
"Nice!" Emily shouts over toward Spencer as she and Maya approach from down field. Spencer whips around and grins, "I hear you're gunning for Varsity captain?" Emily grins back.
Spencer shrugs a smirk on her lips, "I have a shot."
Emily looks at her knowingly, the competitor in them understanding each other completely, "If a Hastings has a shot, she takes a shot." Emily says knowingly, Maya laughs at the interaction.
"Oh, that sounds like one hell of a drinking game." Maya throws out coyly.
Spencer nods appreciatively, "You know what, it should be." They laugh.
"Spencer, this is Maya." Emily introduces, though she knows Spencer's already figured that out.
Spencer's smirk comes back full force, yep she knew, "Yea Maya, I've heard great things." She wags her eyebrows Maya's way.
Maya smirks back and looks at Emily teasingly, "Yea I heard Emily was out finding new members for the 'Maya St. Germain Is A Goddess' fan club." Emily blushes and rolls her eyes, making Maya's and Spencer's amusement all the more greater.
"Right well, Maya and I are going to grab some coffee before school, you in?" Emily asks Spencer, effectively changing the subject.
"Aw I'd kill for some caffeine, but…I should practice." Spencer gestures to the field hockey goal behind her. Emily nods in understanding.
"We'll catch you later." They nod in agreement as Emily and Maya walk off and Spencer goes back to practicing.
"So…she's intense." Maya says as she hears Spencer knocking the ball into the net with brutal force off in the distance.
Emily smiles, "If you knew her parents you'd understand."
Later Emily finds herself at her locker switching out books absentmindedly. She closes her locker and is immediately pounced by Ben…her boyfriend. She backs away instantly, "What?" he says, put off by the distance.
She gives a fake smile, irritated by his presence already, "You just surprised me."
He believes it easily enough, and leers at her, "So we on for the movie tonight?"
Emily could actually feel the waves of repulsion swirling around her stomach, "My mom invited Maya over for the night." It's a quick excuse and the truth so she doesn't feel so bad for flaking out of the date.
"Oh." He says, and then grins dreamingly, "Sleep over huh, what kind of jammies does the new girl wear?"
Emily feels her disgust peak, "How should I know?" she's defensive, she knows this but thankfully Ben's as oblivious as ever.
He smiles, kisses her cheek, "See you at practice." Then he walks off.
Emily stares down the hall, where she just so happens to spot Maya talking with a few girls, from class assumingly. She watches closely, observing every move she makes. Maya catches her eyes briefly, smirks and then turns toward the hall, walking away.
"I can see you connection with Spencer…both like to win." Maya says as she takes in the swimming medals and trophies. Emily watches her from her chair.
"Winning's great, but if I've done my best then I'm fine with second place." Emily grins.
"And Spencer?" Maya walks over to her desk, fingering the things on it till she reaches a picture of five girls. She picks it up.
"Spencer needs to win." Emily said simply.
"Alison was always in the middle, the center of attention…dive?" Maya's eyes narrow playfully.
Emily sighs, running a hand threw her hair, "You ever know anyone like that?"
Maya sits the picture back, "I usually steer clear of those types…they scare me." She admitted dryly, walking over to Emily's bed.
"Types?" Emily smirks challengingly.
Maya sits at the foot of the bed comfortably, "Queen Bee's."
Emily doesn't lose the look, "You don't seem like the kind of girl that'd run from anything."
Maya smirks, "I told you that you didn't have me completely figured out." She challenges back. She looks at the bed, "Do you have a side?" it almost coy, but not quite.
Emily adopts her signature deer in the lights look, "Sorry?" Maya think's it the most adorable thing she's ever seen.
"Of the bed." Maya states, her eyes smoldering.
Emily shrugs with a shake of her head, "I usually sleep in the middle."
It's exactly what Maya wants to hear, she lays across the width of the bed, the same smoldering eyes locked onto Emily, "I usually sleep in the middle too." She grins; Emily returns it with a coy one of her own.
And when Emily finds herself tucked into her sheets, Maya sleeping comfortably next to her, she can't keep her mind still. It's racing, all with images of Maya, always Maya. She doesn't even think that there's room for Alison anymore; she likes that but it scares her too. She looks over at the sleeping girl and then turns on her side deciding to get some sleep.
In her movement though Maya shifts, snuggling up to Emily's back and draping an arm lightly over Emily's hip; Emily freezes. She takes a deep breath in, and on the exhale she places her hand on top on Maya with only a moment of hesitation and now it's skin to skin. Tingles explode her nerve endings, she smiles, grins and closes her eyes; dreaming undoubtedly of Maya.