Chapter 8

The lizard family's dreadlocks raised in alarm, as they heard the sound of the TARDIS engine. Tabeesha ran to her mother, dragging Rose with her on the end of the leash.

"Mummy, what is it? I'm scared."

"I don't know Sweetheart. Broz, call the police," the mother said.

Broz, the father, was standing in front of them protecting them from the perceived threat, and reached for the phone on the low table to his right. He was about to pick it up, but a pink hand gently rested on his wrist. He looked up to see Rose shaking her head in an 'I wouldn't do that if I were you', kind of way.

"Lute, what's the meaning of this, what do you think you are doing?" he asked her, both annoyed and now nervous.

Rose nodded her head to the side, and he turned to look in that direction, just in time to see the door of the TARDIS open and a tall man with impossibly sticky up hair, step out into his living room and stride purposefully towards him.

He was wearing a black uniform, and carried a white, towelling bathrobe. Broz stepped back nervously, not knowing the intention of this intruder, but the intruder ignored him; his gaze was fixed on their pet, Lute.

His left arm went around her waist, his right arm around her shoulders, and he tipped her backwards and proceeded to try and perform a tonsillectomy with his tongue.

Tabeesha put her hands to her mouth in concern. "Mummy, what's he doing to Lute, is he going to hurt her?"

"Olgax, fetch a bucket of water," Broz said. "I think we're going to have to separate them."

["Y'know, I think he might be right,"] John thought at her with a chuckle. ["Because there's no way I'm letting go of you anytime soon."] He straightened her up on her feet, and she gasped for breath.

["D'ya think it's his subtle way of tellin' us to get a room,"] she grinned, with her tongue poking between her teeth. ["But seriously John, as great as that 'hello' was, you have to focus on the job in hand,"] she told him.

["I'd rather focus on what I've got in this hand,"] he thought, as he gave her bum a cheeky squeeze. ["Nice harness by the way, I hope you're going to keep that for special occasions."]

She playfully slapped his shoulder. ["Agent Smith, behave. You'll have to do the introductions, because I can't speak."]

"Oh, yeah, that's right." He turned to face the lizard family. "I'm Doctor John Smith, Special Operations Field Agent for the Torchwood Institute on planet Earth, and this is Rose."

He had his arm around her waist, and Rose was turned so that her naked front was pressed against him. He looked down and saw the pink leash. "Allow me," he said, and unclipped it from her collar. "She's mine," he said nodding down at Rose. "And this is yours." He held the leash out for Broz to take.

In all the excitement of seeing Rose again, he'd forgotten that he'd brought out her bathrobe. He wrapped it around her shoulders. "And this is for you." She kissed him again, as she put her arms in the sleeves and tied the belt.

Her name's Lute and she's mine," Tabeesha protested, getting tearful.

"I'm sorry Sweetheart, her name is Rose, and she's my wife," John said as sympathetically as he could.

"Preposterous!" Broz exclaimed. "No one in their right mind would marry a pet."

John advanced on him, and gave him a look that could melt steel. "True, but she's not a pet, she's a Special Operations Field Agent too." (And his mother-in-law would argue that he'd never been in his right mind).

"Then why is she behaving like a pet?" Olgax asked, thinking she'd won the argument.

"Because, if she tries to talk, or tries to act on her own volition, the collar that she's been forced to wear electrocutes her until she either behaves, or falls unconscious. Talking of which, let's see if we can disable that."

John took out his sonic screwdriver and started to adjust the setting. It made a warbling whistle as he tried to deactivate the collar.

["Argh, John, no, stop, STOP, it's hurtin',"] she cried in his mind.

He stopped, and pulled her into a hug. "Sorry Love, I was afraid of that, there's an anti tamper algorithm built into the operating system of the collar."

Rose had tears in her eyes, just as she thought her ordeal was over, it turned out she was stuck in the collar. The lizard family had watched in horror, as they saw Rose cringe in pain.

Tabeesha was crying. "Mummy, it's horrible, they've been torturing Lute to make her behave. I can't bear to think that someone has been deliberately hurting her."

Rose went over to her and knelt down to be at eye level with her, she wiped a tear off her cheek with her thumb, and Tasheeba grabbed her around the neck in a hug.

"Rose is talking to me through her mind, she says not to worry; it wasn't that bad for her because she was clever and able to avoid getting disciplined too often. She likes you a lot Tabeesha, and if she were a pet, she would want you as her owner," John said, looking down at Rose, with so much pride.

["That was one of the most selfless, compassionate things I have ever heard. I love you Rose."

["I know."]

He gently put his hand on her shoulder, and she released Tabeesha from the hug and stood up. "Why don't you go and put some clothes on, while I start questioning our star witnesses? I've laid your uniform out on the bed."

["Thank you,"] she thought, and she kissed him on the cheek, before heading for the TARDIS door.

Broz and Olgax were looking perplex. What was he on about, 'laid out on the bed?' What bed? That box was hardly big enough for a chair, let alone a bed.

["Oh, and there's a zip up pouch on the bed as well, could you bring that out with you as well,"] John asked as she went through the door.

["Yeah, sure, see you in a minute."]

John turned to Broz and Olgax. "How did you hear of 'Pets-Assist'?"

"Well, a few of the girls at the beauty salon had got them, and they were saying how good they were with the children, and how they helped out around the house," Olgax said.

"And some of my business clients mentioned them, and Tabeesha's hatchday was coming up," Broz added.

"We found the advert in 'House and Home Online', Olgax said.

"House and Home?" John said in disbelief.

"Yes, it's an online magazine that I subscribe to."

"I know what it is, I'm just amazed that two planets, on opposite sides of the galaxy, come up with the same publication…, brilliant."

Olgax had reached a thin plastic sheet off the coffee table and touched the centre, where it came to life as a tablet PC. She touched the 'Magazines' icon, and a list of publications that they subscribed to were shown. Fashion, cooking, motoring, travel, and there it was, 'House and Home'.

She found the advert and handed the plastic screen to John, as Rose came out of the TARDIS, dressed in her black uniform, and adjusting the utility belt.

["Oh God, that feels good. I never thought military twill would feel so good."]

["You always look good in it,"] John told her.

The lizard family were staring at her in astonishment, it was true then, she wasn't a pet, she was an intelligent, sentient person.

["What's in the pouch?"] she asked.

["Ah, let me show you,"] he said with a smile as he took it off her and unzipped it. He took out four, small round pads and stood in front of her.

"Lift your chin a little." Rose lifted her chin and he stuck two pads either side of her adam's apple. He then held her chin with his thumb and forefinger and lowered her chin, stealing a kiss as he did so. He then stuck the other two electrodes on her cheeks.

["What are you up to?"] she asked suspiciously.

He took a small device out of the pouch, that looked like and MP3 player, clipped it onto her breast pocket, and switched it on.

"Right, mouth the words that you want to say," he instructed.

"I've - been - doing - that - for - the - last - four - days," the MP3 player said. "Hah! - That - is - brilliant, - hang - on - though, - I - sound - like - Stephen - Hawking."

The lizards looked on with their mouths wide open, oh my God, she could talk.

"Oh, hang on, I can make some adjustments." He fiddled with the settings. "Okay, try again."

"Let's - try - this - then. - Ooh, - that - sounds - like - Cher - singing - 'Believe'. - Do you belie-e-ve in life after love?" She sang and laughed.

"Oh Rose, you're going to have to stop laughing, because that is SO sexy, it's doing things to me."

"Shut - up, - now - how - far - have - you - got - with - the - investigation?"

"Olgax was just showing me the advert for Pets-Assist, here in House and Home."

"House - and - Home, - you're - kiddin' - me - right?" She smiled at Olgax, and saw an uncertain, guilty look on her face. "Are - you - alright?"

"No…, not really…, it;s just that you can talk, and you're intelligent…, and everything…"

Rose sat by her on the sofa and held her hand. "And - the - people - runnin' - these - kennels - are - to - blame, - not - you, - so - how's - about - you - helpin' - us - catch - the - bad - guys?"

Olgax smiled. "Yes, alright…, are all field agents like you..., as kind and considerate, I mean?"

Rose looked up at John. "Yeah, - most - of - us - are."

"We called the number in the advert, and a representative came to see us," Broz said.

"Right, how's about you call him again, tell him your neighbour has seen Lute, and would like one themselves." John looked over at Rose and waggled his eyebrows. "I love the name Lute by the way."

"So - do - I," Rose said, smiling at Tabeesha.

"Right, let's do this then," Broz said and picked up the phone. He called the salesperson, told him the story, and arranged for him to call around in the next half hour.

"And what about payment?" John asked.

"Well, when we chose Lute…, er, Rose…, your wife, we could choose which commands we wanted her to learn. You are charged for each extra command." Broz looked at Rose sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Don't - worry - about - it, - honestly, - It - was - just - part - of - my - job. - How - was - the - payment - made?"

"Card payment at the reception area when we'd selected all the commands that we wanted."

"Ah, that could be the lead we've been looking for, electronic transfer of funds leaves a trail that we can follow, John said. "Wait here, I'm just going to get my Torchwood tablet." He went into the TARDIS, and came back moments later with his tablet PC.

"Broz, if you log on to your account and find the transaction, I can interrogate the server."

Broz took the tablet off John and started to log on to his account, whilst John took out his phone and speed dialled Torchwood Despatch.

"Andre, good to hear you, can you put me through to Finance?" He smiled at everyone while he waited for the call to be transferred. "Hi, it's Doctor Smith here, very shortly, my tablet is going to be streaming some account data to the server, I need someone to do an audit trail and find out where the money ended up…, okay, that's great, thanks."

Broz handed back the tablet, with the purchase of Rose highlighted. "Really, that much?" He waggled his eyebrows at Rose. "I'm going to have to double your housekeeping allowance."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Why – not – treble – it – while – you're – at – it? – I – mean, - three – multiplied – by – zero – is – still – zero."

"Broz, I presume you want a refund," John said with a grin.

"Well, yes, of course, but I should imagine that is going to take some time if there's an ongoing investigation, seizure of assests and all that sort of thing."

"There you go, all done," John announced. "That should put the cat amongst the pigeons, who ever is behind this is going to want to know where that money has gone."

"John, - won't - there - be - reprisals - against - the - people - in - the - kennels?" Rose asked.

"Quite possibly, which is why we're going back there next, we'll get them to play their hand."

"The man from Pets-Assist is here," Olgax announced.

"Oh good, show him in," John said with a satisfied smile.

Olgax went to the door, and escorted the man into the living room, who was surprised to see two aliens in their house. "Are these your neighbours?" he asked, slightly apprehensive.

"Nah, not really, we just said that to get you here so we could have a little chat," John said. "You see my wife here, Rose." He indicated with a sweep of his arm, and Rose gave a little finger wave. "She was kidnapped by some 'slavers' and taken to a prison called 'Pets-Assist', where she was forced to endure four days of degrading and humiliating treatment, and was tortured until she cooperated so that she could be sold to this unsuspecting family.

The man gulped. "Your wife?! But we only take bipedal, non sentients from the wild, I…, I…,"

"You - can - take - it - from - me, - I - am - fully - sentient - and - aware, - and - not - only - am - I - wild, - I - am - LIVID!" Rose told him.

""So, as you can imagine, we are all just a little annoyed at you right now, so I'm inviting you all to come with us, back to Torchwood, where we can sort it all out."

"But I have other clients..." the salesman started to say.

"Not any more you haven't, didn't I mention it, oh me and my memory, after nine hundred years, it gets a bit cluttered in here."

"M..., mention what?" the salesman asked.

John smiled at him. "I'm putting you out of business."