As I sat on my cot I couldn't help but feel the overwhelming amount of rain pouring down on my head. There wasn't a cloud in the sky for miles ahead, but the death of my father turned everything gray. Would I be a good leader? Could I protect this clan? I was once so sure, but I had lost all my confidence. Hell was paved with good intentions, and I feared my desires would be just as futile as the men who came before me.

"Big brother," Izuna popped his head through the tent entrance. He was smiling grandly, as if I were made of Bella's cooking. "The votes in, you should give a speech."

I leaned forward onto my knees and looked down at the floor of the tent. I couldn't hold back the bated sigh that I had been holding in my chest. "I'll be out in a minute."

The men outside were cheering merrily, glad to be rid of my worthless father and to have a new chief. What kind of leader would I be? I let my brothers die, all but one… Why would this clan trust me so? My heart stretched out towards my wife in hopes her coddling words would soothe me. I had no right to ask for her support, and I knew that, but still I yearned for her voice to tell me I was overthinking things and I'm not like my father.

-That I'm not my mistakes or anyone elses.

I had a home that welcomed no one and kitchen table that was rarely warmed by the plates of family. Grandpa slept most of the day, only waking to eat and Jonathan was a busy man with constant errands. Blizzard was the only one who was ever around to listen to me, and I felt my insanity grow as I began to listen back. I could understand when he mew'ed and roared, and I knew when he was hungry and what his favorites were. It's official, I'm a crazy cat lady.

My little Tiger was outside hunting and I looked out the kitchen window patiently for his return. He would usually be gone for several hours before bringing back on to my threshold a half eaten carcass.

Silently I spaced out while looking at my husbands training yard. I found myself yearning for his return, strangely. And even more strange was this little piece of me that wished he wouldn't.

As a child born to silence and secrecy, isolation was an instinct and a cross that I carried. If my husband were to fall on his sword in battle my life would feel no more dark than yesterday. What's wrong with me… wives shouldn't feel this way. Why don't I love him?

"Bella, why is there no food in here?" Jonathan had returned from the clinic and turned his disdainful gaze from the cabinets to me.

I didn't turn away from the window, "Grandpa has plenty of soup in the refrigerator so I didn't feel the need to go to the market."

The doctors eyes hardened, "So that's why you're losing weight? You're not feeding yourself?"

Snowflakes glided to the grass and on top of the trees freezing nature in its deathly form. "I suppose." My body was numb and cold just like the plants outside. When it was silent I heard people talking, but no one was speaking in my home but inside my mind. The memories of lives past and fates already set in stone whispered to me, but I could never hear what they begged me to know.

"Bella," Jonathan called to me. "Bella look at me." He spun me away from the window and his scornful face turned soft with sadness. "...your eyes, what is the matter?" His palm caressed the side of my face and he pressed his thumb onto the dark circles under my eyes.

"I haven't been sleeping well." The dreams grew more vivid every night and more nightmarish. I forced myself past exhaustion in hopes it would keep the images away, but it was only time until I passed out and was flogged with terror and pain.

Jonathan and I stood for several uncomfortable moments, neither of us wanting to say what we were thinking. He eventually dragged me into my room to change into a thick sweater and cotton ankle length skirt. "put these on." He handed me a pair of my husbands boots.

"Why?" I stared at the huge black winter boots that he held in his hand.

"You're the leaders wife now," don't remind me. "There are obligations that need to be met, and you honestly need to get out of this house."

My gaze slowly went from the boots to looking him dead in the eye, "... but it's cold outside."

"So?"

"...I don't like the cold." He knew I wasn't going to budge.

Jonathan stood in confusion with the boots in his hand. They grew heavier by the second as he dropped his hand to his side and lowered his head for a moment to think.

He looked back up with new resolve. "You're going out today. Come here." He went to grab my wrist but I quickly evaded him. I had become skilled at this game with Madara but Jonathan looked quicker than my heavy set husband. Adrenaline flooded my system and immediately turned my fragile emotional state upside down. I dodged the man out of the room and ran down the stairs suppressing a child like giggle that urged its way free.

I screamed as the short haired man ran in front of me and cut off my exit to the living room. He held the boots in his hands in a menacing fashion and stalked closer to me with a jubilant sneer of victory slathered across his face. "You're getting out of this house one way or another."

I backed myself into the kitchen counter and quickly looked for away out, "but it's cold out!"

Jonathan jousted at me nearly mowing me over. I ducked causing him to fly over the wooden counter and land in the kitchen sink. I ran to the living room laughing harder than I had in a week.

"I'm going to get you!" Jonathan laughed behind me chasing me around the couch until I finally tripped over my pile of books that I had set next to the lonely end table.

Jonathan grabbed my ankle and shoved the boot on my foot lacing it tightly so I had no hope to kick it off. "Come on, Princess." He picked me off the floor effortlessly and threw me over his shoulder. "Time for the clan to meet their Lady."

As we stepped outside it was surprisingly warmer than I expected. Even though snow was falling the temperature was tolerable. I smiled as I thought about how silly I was and I couldn't help but feel thankful to Jonathan for making me get out. Ever since day one he'd been loyal to me and always thinking of what was best for me even when I couldn't. He's done far better at being a husband than Madara, that's for sure.

When Jonathan finally put me down outside there were a group of Uchiha woman smiling at me. They all bowed to me in respect and introduced themselves, "Lady Uchiha, it's nice to finally meet you." One of the woman greeted. "My name is Cynthia, I am Blades wife." I looked down at the woman's thigh and saw a little black haired boy holding on to her skirt. I waved to him and he smiled lightly. "This is my son, Dre."

"It's nice to meet you both."

The woman had in her hand a basket of fruit that she had just bought from the market. There were only a few apples and a banana and they were looking on the rotten side. My brow furrowed as I realized that my fathers aid wasn't helping as much as I had thought it would.

Cynthia noticed my gazing and handed her son the basket while instructing him to run home with it. The boy appeared to be four maybe five years old, yet he ran as fast as any Uchiha man that I had met.

"So," she distracted me. "Where have you been hiding? All of a sudden there is rumor afloat the Madaras come back with a woman, than he's married, now he's having a baby? My goodness, he works fast! And this is only my first time meeting you and you've been living here for over two months, what's with that?"

I blushed slightly, I felt bad that I hadn't met the clansmen sooner. Not that it was entirely my fault, Madara always did the shopping and never invited me to meet anyone. It was like he was hiding me; like he was ashamed to show me off?

"I would have liked to meet the clan sooner, but my husbands needs have no end. He always kept me busy with tedious little tasks. You'd think a man could handle making a sandwich?"

Cynthia smiled, "Oh, they can handle it alright. But if they act helpless they know our instincts will make us do it for them. Husbands!" She shrugged with a modest laugh.

I allowed my eyes to wander around the downtown area and I was fairly disappointed with what I saw. All the shops were small kiosks on the side of the road, and their supplies was fairly limited and rotting. The people were too skinny and appeared overworked. Most of the people on the street were women and small children, only a few being men. I had overheard my husband telling me that he kept a reserve at home in case of a home invasion, but this would hardly cover an attack.

"You don't look impressed with our home." Cynthia caught on.

I nodded, "the Uchiha can do better than this." I rudely stated.

"Well," She gave me a light pat on the shoulder. "You're our Lady."

Her words challenged me and I knew that she and the other woman on the street were putting their faith in me to turn things around.

"Yutaku, would you please do some work!"

"Damn it woman, I'm busy!"

"What's more important, Shogi or the clan?"

"You really want me to answer that?"

I looked up at my tall doctor and he looked back instinctively. "I wanna see Tajima's office."

He smiled, "you mean Madara's?"

I laughed, "you mean mine. I think it's time I take this bull by the horns and steer it back on path."

It was night. The men cheered for me, some bearing tears of joy. As the Uchiha banter rose and fanned in the wind above me I knew we were once again a proud clan. Who would have thought that in blood the Uchiha could be reborn?

I didn't need to say a word to these men to get them to believe in me, yet as I spoke the trust in their eyes grew more vivid and pronounced. I told them we were new, strong, and ready to overcome. They cheered for these words, bringing them to life before my very eyes. I stepped down from my podium with Izuna behind me patting me on the back. As I passed through the crowds some men picked up their cups of Ale and cheered to me and others bowed.

I should have been happy, and I knew somewhere inside I was, but all I could feel at this very moment was heartache and fear. I had made promises to my clan and I had made vows to my wife, I had already disappointed her and I couldn't bare to do that to my clan too. The fate of this clan and the world was on my shoulders, and as confident as I should be that I could lift it up with pride, at that moment I was sorely lacking in self trust.

"Izuna I'm going to lie down, tell the troops to get to bed too. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." He did as I ordered without a word in rebuttal, just as everyone did now. I loved and loathed it, I wasn't sure which feeling was stronger.

It felt like a long walk back to my tent, and for some reason I felt ominous chills roll up my back. Is someone trying to tell me something? I wondered if some God was trying to warn me but I trudged on regardless.

A candle was lit in my tent as I approached the doorway of my quarters and I knew at that moment that someone was in there. I walked in without a second thought and saw for the first time in weeks the body of a naked woman.

"What the hell, Hana?" I roared at the wench who was fingering herself on my cot.

I grabbed the wicked bitch by her forearm and threw her off my cot. She didn't even seem fazed by temper. She stood before me in her naked glory and smiled as though I amused her in someway. Before I had a chance to react she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a deep and passionate one-sided kiss. The stress melted off of me and I began to lose myself. I forgot all that I stood for and let selfishness win over my spirit. As the seconds ticked by the kiss became less one-sided and more of a loveless and aggressive as I grabbed her unmercifully by the back of her head and dove my tongue deep in her mouth.

With my eyes closed I thought of white hair and golden eyes, and a petite curvy body always eager for my touch. The screeching moans of Hana turned to the silent pants of Bella and before I could even feel guilt or allow morality to creep into my mind I forgot myself in the woman before me. I couldn't control myself any longer and somehow I ended up on top of my wife again thrusting and groaning.

"I missed you, Baby." I whispered into Bella's ear and lost myself completely.

A/N: Don't kill me. I had to do it.