The cold air bites into me. I shiver snuggling deeper into my jacket wrapping my arms around myself. I look up and down the vacant street. It's darker than it was when I walked to work.
My feet starts making its way back home. About two blocks from the club my stomach growls, reminding me that I haven't eaten today, or shall I say yesterday?
I ignore it for a while until I spot a store that is open all night. I hurry across the street and spark into the warm building.
"Miss," I am greeted by a tired-looking male cashier.
I smile in return, and make my way through the store, I grab an apple, a chicken pie and cheap coffee. I stand in front of the man waiting for me to pay. I push my hands into my pockets and fish out the little money I have.
I hand him a few bills and walk out of the store with my food and warm coffee. I start walking again. By the time I reach my apartment the little bit of coffee left in my cup is close to being frozen. I feel like a snow flake.
I throw the cup and the apple core in the dustbin near the entrance. When I enter the building, I see the little girl of 009, she's wrapped up in a small ball on the sofa in the lobby. She's clutching onto her teddy bear for life and death. I walk over to her and bend down.
"Hey," I whisper shoving her a little.
"I so'ly" she mutters when I shove again.
"No, no darling you've got to wake up, you can't sleep here." I whisper. Her blue eyes open slowly, she smiles up at me.
"Why are you out here?" I ask her pushing her long hair behind her ears.
"Momma angry at me," she sobs.
"Oh no darling, come with me," I say holding out my hand for her. She quickly obliges. I lead her to my room and tell her to sit down.
"Are you hungry?" I ask her she nods, breaking what's left of my heart.
"Here you go," I say handing her the now cold pie. She grabs it and quickly devours it: causing her the hiccup syndrome.
"You can sleep here if you want, I'll talk to your momma in the morning," I tell her receiving yet another nod.
"What's your name?" I ask her. She frowns and swallows quickly.
"My name's Laura, but man calls me brat." She says.
"No, no Laura, you're not a brat," I tell her stroking her hair.
"I'm Anastasia Steele," I tell her, the first person in New York who knows my real name.
"Ana Stay Sha Steel," she says sounding out the new found name.
"You can call me Ana if you want." I say laughing at her attempt to pronounce my name.
"Ana, I like Ana." She smiles patting my hair.
The sun and little giggles from the left side of my bed wakes me. I sit up to see what the little girl is laughing at to find her playing with the stuffed animal. I smile at her and lay back down.
"Laura, we have to take you home now." Tell her.
"I don't want to." She cries.
"I know darling but you can't stay here." I say standing up. I walk across the floor to the small bathroom. I wash my face and brush my teeth, and turn around to face the little girl in the door of the bathroom.
"Let's go then," I say holding out my hand for the little girl.
She takes it. We walk through my small room and to the corridor. We make our way down the hall, old faces are looking at us wide eyed. I frown at their stares. We come to a stop in front of room 009.
I look down at the child, I wish a better life for her.
I broaden my shoulders and slam my fist against the door several times. No one answers, I bang against the door again. I stop when I hear the chain slide unlocked.
"What is it?" I hear a rude female voice as the door opens. A blonde woman who's shorter than me stands in front of me, her blue eyes have dark rims underneath them.
"What do you want?" she asks me unaware of the little girl who's hiding behind me. Oh, lady, there's a lot I want from you.
"Is he still here?" I spit.
"Look doll I think you've got the wrong apartment," she says starting to close the door.
"No doll, I haven't got the wrong apartment," I say in a calm manner. I am not oblivious to the eyes on me from the people in the hallway. She scoffs and turns back to me. Her eyes travels down to where the movement of the little girl who hid behind me caught her eye.
"Come in Laura, come to mommy." She says sweetly. The little girl stays behind me.
"I think you should answer me," I advise the woman in front of me who is so greatly working on my every nerve. She looks up at me again.
"You have no business here." She says stepping around me to get a hold of her daughter. I grab her shoulder and push her into her apartment.
"Look Doll, this became my business when I had to give your daughter a place to sleep last night and when I heard endless screaming – Must I add not of pleasure, this became my business lady when I walked past your daughter many mornings in a row when she stood outside of that door waiting for her Goddamned mother to give a shit and let her in!" I yell at her seeing red.
"Now answer my question: Is he still here?" I say through my teeth. She nods, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Don't cry." I say letting go of her.
"I can help you." I tell her, her eyes widen.
"How?" she says patting her tears dry.
"Don't worry about how, but we need to get you out of here." I tell her. She shakes her head furiously.
"He'll find us and he'd kill us." She sobs. Her lip is trembling.
"No, he won't." I tell her grabbing her hand and pull her and Laura to my room. I throw the door shut.
"Who are you?" she asks me as I rummage through my dresser.
"Call me Liana, that's all you got to know." I tell her.
"Okay Liana, I'm Susan, you've already met Laura." She smiles. I prop my eyebrow and get back to searching.
"You're going to take your asses and you're going to get out of here. Skip the town maybe. Just get away from that abusive bastard." I say handing her my savings that I was going to use to get away from here myself.
"Liana, I understand that you're trying to help us, but I cannot accept your money." Susan says pushing my hand back.
"Listen lady, I am doing this for that little girl. Now take the money, and get your arses out of this dump and get to a safer place." I command her. She eventually takes the money from me.
"Our belongings." She says smash holding the dollar bills in her hands.
"Wait until tonight, I have a plan." I tell her.
Leaving her and Laura who's lying on my bed in my bedroom and go to the bathroom. I shut the door locking it behind me. I walk to the cabinet opening it.
I take out the pill container and slide it into the inside pocket of my leather jacket. For security measures. I tap my boot on the floor to find the loose wood floorboard, the same one I almost fell over yesterday.
Once I find it I kneel down and lift it up, exposing everything my past lead me to become.
Everything I hated to be.
The objects that took lives of many bad people, but the same objects that took away the thought of every being accepted to heaven.
The objects that cost me my soul and my innocence.