Firstly, review replies!

The SENDER and the TRAVELER: I, for one, can't wait much longer for Rikushi to sail! I don't know how to feel about them now, though... we all know how our last relationship here ended. The personality swap motive seems to be the most popular choice, and while it is a nice motive, you'll see that it's not quite like that. The dice/sense loss motive is a great one, so props to you on notifying me on it. Thank you for reviewing!

Katastic Writer: Ahh, the ship has sailed, finally! Blaming everything on Monokuma is a great choice in my opinion. Everything that happens here seems to be his fault anyway! Chigusa and Eita's conditions will be explained in this chapter. Kikyo, Yatarou and Tsukushi sure seem normal but maybe their symptoms just aren't showing yet? That's a question for later, though. That reliving-the-worst-moment-in-your-life motive seems to be really cruel, which I can definitely get behind! And thanks for explaining your love for Mondo, although I can't completely agree with your opinion, it's great to understand it better. Thanks a lot for your review!

TheRoseShadow21: Both the personality swap and the 'everyone is high' motives would make for some interesting stuff happening, sure, but it's not quite like that - you'll see soon enough, there's a detail you missed. As for your original motive, I do believe the spin on the secrets motive makes for a great twist, so props to whoever did that. Thanks for reviewing as always!

Jubilees: Glad to see I have a couple of Rikushi shippers in the comments! They make for a cute couple. Chigusa will be sure to feel some aftershocks of this, should she survive the impending doom that is Chapter 3 in DR fashion. Thank you for your review!

Crystalline: I'm happy to see you like Riou and Tsukushi together, but Kikyo and Yatarou are a much different case. It's an interesting ship, one I don't see pointed out nearly as often as Yatarou x Chigusa, haha. Either way, thank you for the review!

Pretty Palutena: The ship is off indeed! Will it sail or will it sink? Thanks for reviewing!

SongBirds-Lullaby: Let me just say I loved reading your reactions to Rikushi's date, haha! Kikyo finally got the attention she deserved with her hairstyling skills and gave Tsukushi a little snip-snip action before his date! Ahh, the friendship between those three is amazing, really, bless them all. As for everyone going crazy and acting against their normal behavior, you'll see the reasons and the aftermath of said reasons in due time, hehe. Thanks a lot for this review!

Crimson Spider Lily: The Act 3 I have planned from now will be calmer and, as you said, more of a breather to compensate for the entirety of Act 2 and the beggining of this one. It was funny to see you call the motive a 'curse', although I guess it isn't totally bogus to call it one, with Monokuma's weird tricks and all. Who said Eita and Riou didn't watch the movie? Maybe Eita was interested and Riou wanted to prove he's strong enough... but Monokuma always comes out on top, huh? Anyway, that's just a theory, a guess. The use of Phobia Rooms as a motive is definitely an interesting concept I've seen thrown around a couple of times. It'd definitely be a good, cruel motive to sink despair into the students, and I'd probably use it early on, like in the first or second acts, if I did use it. Thanks for finding the time to review!

ACT 3: Holidays For The Hopeless

CHAPTER 5: Oh, Switcheroo...

MORNING

Location: Lake House (Kitchen)

The three of us had fallen oddly silent, Kikyo and Yatarou tensing beneath my awaiting glare. "Guys!" I snap them out of their awkward quietness and make Kikyo flinch in the process, holding her left elbow with her right hand and looking down. "What's up with Riou?"

"Don't ask me." Yatarou shrugged it off and showed himself out of the triangle we had formed, hurrying over to Eita.

"What's his deal?" I thought aloud.

Kikyo sighed and slumped a bit. "Forget it. He's had a loooong day. And we've got more important things to worry about!"

"Yeah!" I remind her suggestively. "Like Riou!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I remember." she asserted and sighed some tension off her muscles. "He's acting weird as well. Kinda like Chigusa and Eita here, I guess."

With a quick glance, I looked behind me at the energetic Gardener who was now running laps around the island, where Yatarou and Eita sat, the latter tapping his feet against the stool's pedestal. "Like... them?"

"Not the best state of mind to be in." she confessed, trying to lighten the mood up with a failed attempt at a joke. "If the others aren't here, maybe they're with Riou!"

"We've got to find Maruko as well!" Yatarou reminded us, making me gasp and facepalm in realization. "Yeah! We have a suicidal girl running around a city devised for murder! No way she's not gonna find a way to-"

"Shut up!" I stop him before his suggestions got even darker, but the damage was done. With a tense, hesitant stare I eyed Kikyo and Yatarou but eventually speedwalked my way through the door. "You two take care of Chigusa and Eita! I'll find the o- OW!" I kept demanding on my way to the front door of the lake house, only to be hit by it and thrown across the room, stumbling onto the floor.

Turning around to see which otherwise-frail person would be aggressively opening doors on my face, I was shocked to see my favourite mountain towering over me, his silhouette blocking the sunlight. "Oooooooh my god, I am SO sorry!" he flamboyantly shouted, clenching his elbows against the sides of his stomach, making his abs stick out a bit. "Here, sugar, let me help!"

"R-Rio-WOAH!" he picked me up and threw me in the air with a twirl before I landed on my feet, careful not to slip up again. "U-U-U-Uh... R-Riou?"

"Yeah, babe? What you want?" he winked. "Oh, oh, you have some juicy gossip up your sleeve I bet! Tell me all about it! Who's the next big 'it' couple around Anghern!?" his posture and tone of voice reminded me of a really expressive high school girl going through her teens, but his build and face made it easy to remember who I was talking to.

Riou Ryielo, the Super High School Level Boxer. A guy who I kissed who-knows-how-long ago.

"R-Riou, are you feeling well?"

The Boxer turned his head left and right with a pout, as if looking for a reason he would be unwell. "Whaddya mean, girl?" he asked me.

"Oh, for heaven's sake."

"Soooo, anywaaaay!" Riou dismissed my worries and put his knuckles close to his hips. "I came by to tell you that translator chick is tooootally bonkers, haha! She's going around telling eeeeveryone how she wants them to let her kill herself! Hahaha, sick, if you ask me, but to each their own!"

My eyes widened and I grabbed Riou's biceps, shaking him lightly - and lightly it was, given his weight. "M-Maruko! Where did you see her!?"

"She was near the mall or something. I had to go there to check on my salon, haha!"

"Y-Your salon?" I asked, but was ultimately never met with a response as Riou waltzed into the kitchen.

'Now, he's their problem.' was my first thought as I ran out the door but soon it hit me - he never mentioned any of it.

Sigh... I hope he's okay.

"We're back!" I shouted as Akahana, Yori and I came inside, the Magician riding me piggyback as we were forced to hurry along. As his shoesoles hit the ground, I let out an exasperated sigh of relief and cracked my aching back.

"What's the matter here?" Akahana stated, but quickly gasped in surprise as she saw the scene unfolding in front of us.

Eita was happily tapdancing in the corner, a devilish grin on his face as he blankly looked at a closed cupboard, his feet never stopping. Looking to the side, Kikyo and Riou were engaging in a friendly chat, the latter acting as flamboyant as I'd seen beforehand, and Chigusa was doing push-ups at the speed of light on top of the island, her waist coming dangerously close to hitting a sleeping Kiyoshi on her way down the push-up. On the other side of said island, near the sink, Yatarou, Shizuka and Sakurako seemed distressed as they tried to carefully approach a smiling Maruko, with a knife in her hand.

K-Knife!?

"Maruko!" I called in panic, and she turned to me with a smile before she turned around, towards the counter next to sink, and quickly rose the knife skyward, plunging it down with lightning speed. "N-NO!"

Her movements maintained speed and precision, and my heartbeat stopped racing, returning a more normal speed. "M-Maruko...?" Yatarou called, gasping for air.

"Here!" She produced a bowl of freshly-chopped vegetables and poured them on top of a plate of spaghetti I hadn't noticed beforehand. Then, she served the plate to Yatarou, who was forced to accept the dish thrown into his hands. Maruko finally bowed with a smile and spun the knife around. "Hope you enjoy it! May I kill myself now, Nekomirin-sama?"

"For the last time, no, Miss Inubarashi!" Sakurako stressed, jaw clenched.

My neck muscles loosened and I slumped forward, gripping my chest. "What was that, Sakurako...?"

"Ah!" the Translator noticed me and speedwalked over to me. Her posture was much different than her previous one, and it almost seemed like she had returned to normal. "Hananari-sama! Nakajima-sama! Hanamichi-sama! Bienvenus!" she bowed with a smile and returned to her place, next to the sink.

"Welcome, Tsukushi! How have you been?" Eita asked, tapping his feet frantically, the quick succession of sounds rattling me ever so slightly.

"YOOOO, BROTHAS AND SISTAS! DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE!" Chigusa shouted, making everyone painfully aware of our presence and they looked at us with pleading eyes, silently asking what the hell was happening, and how would we make it stop.

Akahana put her hands to her hips and looked around with a nervous, annoyed expression. "Agh, it seems an emergency meeting is in order..."

"Everyone, what is happening? I can discern there's quite a mayhem here, but I can't understand a thing." Yori complained, always maintaining his politeness.

"Hananari." Akahana called, making me turn my head quickly, in a panicked rush. "Gather everyone that seems healthy outside the kitchen. In the living room. We need to debate what to do."

"Why me!?" I pouted, but the Prosecutorial Attorney simply turned around and left, aiding Yori on his way out, should he need the help. With a defeated sigh, I made a round around the kitchen. "Eita?"

"Oh?" the Estimator reacted and turned his dead gaze and creepy smile to me, ignoring the cupboard he was so intently staring at beforehand. "Hello, Tsukushi!" he greeted, his feet moving non-stop in quick succession.

Judging by how out-of-character he was acting, I looked at him for a while, trying to think whether or not he was mentally capable of sitting through one of Akahana's discussions before happily tapdancing out of there with this disturbing-looking smile he wouldn't drop, but eventually made a mental note to leave him be. "N-Nothing. What are you doing?"

"A staring contest, of course!" he cheered, pointing at the cupboard with his thumb. "This cabinet is beckoning me to stare at it, I can feel it! So I am doing just that! I will not back down from a challenge!"

"I... see..." I reply after a short pause, confused at what to respond to such an outlandish behaviour - especially coming from Eita Kurogane, the master of expressionlessness. "I'll leave you to that, then... Need to check on the others."

Eita nodded expressively and went back to looking at the cupboard with a grin and without blinking - a detail I had neglected to notice before. A bit shaken, I went to the island and checked the sleeping man under Chigusa's constantly moving body.

"HELLO, TSUKUSHI, I SEE YOU ARE LOOKING DIRECTLY AT MY GENITALIA!" Chigusa yelled with a deeper, rougher voice as she continued doing push-ups at incredible speed.

Embarrassed and taken aback by her sudden accusation, I took a step back and apologized, explaining the situation. "I'm only looking at Kiyoshi, don't worry..." I stuttered. "He's under you."

"AH, YES, I KNOW!" she projected. "I BELIEVE HE IS SLEEPING SOUNDLY UNDER THE EVER-GROWING WEIGHT OF MY PELVIC MUSCLES, CORRECT?"

"I... I guess so." I managed to reply, although I was incredulous at the confidence and volume Chigusa was abusing of in her tone. "Can I, um, wake him up and take him elsewhere?"

"YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT, BRO!" she finally permitted and switched her push-ups to a fit 'plank' position where it was much easier to notice Kiyoshi's sleeping face, drool dripping from his mouth and down his cheek, onto the island.

I'll have to clean that later...

"Um, Kiyo?"

"The fuck do YOU want, fuckface!?" he violently slammed the table and erected his back so his eyes were just above Chigusa's back's height level. He looked up at me menacingly. "I'm trying to catch some goddamn Z's, bastard, leave me be!"

Ah, same old violent, lazy Kiyo. At least someone's normal around here. "Akahana asked you to go over to the living room so we can discuss what's going on... please?"

"That little bitch... fuck if I care." he stood up quickly and let out a sigh of angry annoyance. "I'll be right there, then." he ranted.

Next up is... who, exactly? "Hey! Tsukushi!" Kikyo called me from the other side of the island as Chigusa held her position perfectly, not twitching or moving.

"What's up? I'm rounding up everyone to go and meet Akahana." I explained, trying to excuse myself out of Kikyo's grasp as I approaching them from Riou's side of the island.

"Yeah, yeah, but you gotta hear this! Riou isn't just acting really gay... he's acting exactly like my coworkers do! I think I've found myself a soulmate!"

Riou quickly pulled me towards him by the hips. "Giiiiiiirl, don't you dare steal my man!" he sassed.

"Your what now?" Kikyo's eyebrows raised and exchanged a quick glance with me before looking back at Riou. Slowly, I looked at the Boxer who was too busy looking at the girl in front of him to notice my shock.

"My man!" Riou tightened his grip around my waist and glared at Kikyo. "Don't be a manstealer, girl!"

Kikyo and I both looked at each other, completely unsure of what to say. "I... I won't, then. Sorry?" she apologized. Riou grinned and snuggled against me, making himself comfortable and resting his head on the side of my torso. "May I borrow him for a second, though?"

"Oh my gooooooooooood, did you just?" Riou rolled his eyes and sassed again, fingersnapping close to Kikyo's face, almost as a wake-up call. "I just said he's my man, pipsqueak, like, what the hell?"

"I know, I know!" she defended herself, a bit shocked and unsure of what to do - understandably so.

Instinctively, I started caressing Riou's silver hair, making him look up at me. "It's only for a second, Riou, you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you." I smiled forcefully and he responded with a warm, trusting smile and nodded. "Now, excuse us for just a second."

"Sure, baby, sure." he grinned and started twirling his fingers in his hair, feeling it pensively.

Kikyo and I quickly went over to another side of the kitchen - a previously unoccupied one and started debating the obvious.

"What the hell was that, dude!?" she asked in a whisper, confused as hell, much like me. "He called you baby!?"

"I have no idea! I didn't think he'd remember!" I confessed, flustered.

"What happened in the mall, Tsukushi?" she asked, her confusion and worry quickly turning into her love for gossiping.

Scratching my head in embarassment, I looked left in search on something to change this topic I wasn't fully understanding as of then, but ended up looking at a wall. "Well..." I dodge the question, but Kikyo insisted. "He kind of... well... he confessed. He likes me... like... like-likes me."

"HELL YES!" Kikyo cheered loudly, but after attracting everyone's attention, blushed, apologized and returned to her previous low tone of voice. "What did you do then!?"

"We... We blacked out and I... I might have kissed him?"

"YES, YES, YES!" the same happened. Her fangirling attracted someone else into the conversation, who stood there in a mix of frustration, confusion and worry. "Yatarou, what's happening?"

Yatarou glared at the Hairstylist with a dumbfounded expression and tilted his head a bit. "You're asking me what's happening? Hello!? We have a suicidal maid-translator hybrid in here, a gay boxer - no offense, Tsukushi. Love you, bro - and a yelling gym-a-holic gardener! Oh, oh, and Eita is actually expressing emotion for once! Everything is upside down, and you're asking me what's happening, Kikyo!?" he ranted with a sarcastic demeanor.

"It's just, Riou and Tsukushi kissed!" Kikyo explained, but was quickly interrupted.

"YOU WHAT!?" Yatarou fanboyed alongside the Hairstylist. "Tell me everything, Tsukushi!" he changed personality all of a sudden - a change I wasn't too sure I was happy to see, reminding myself of how these sudden changes in behaviour have been during the past few hours.

Flustered, I avoided talking about it further. "I'll tell you about some other time. For now, we have to gather everyone that seems normal and send them to the living room, asap!"

"Ugh..." Kikyo and Yatarou groaned, accepting the need to solve the problem at hand before I could share my new sort-of-relationship. "Fine!" the Tour Guide caved in. "I'll call Shizuka and Sakurako. They seem to be acting fine for now."

"I'll be on my way to the living room. Tsukushi, come along!"

"Coming, coming." I voiced before being interrupted by the static sound of speakers turning on. Instinctively, I flinched, knowing what could come out of that speaker and any time.

ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS! THIS IS PRINCIPAL MONOKUMA!
A MEETING IS IN ORDER! PLEASE GATHER AROUND AT THE CENTRAL VIEWS PLAZA'S SUNDIAL!
ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY! ANY STUDENT NOT PRESENT WILL BE PUNISHED!

"Oh jeez, what now?" Kikyo groaned. "We need to discuss what's happening, right now! Can't Monokuma wait?"

"I have a feeling we'll be discussing what's happening anyway..." I theorize, walking out of the kitchen.

"You mean... this is another one of Monokuma's motives?" Yatarou voiced from the other side of the island and I turned around and nodded, seeing his expression stiffen considerably. "Ugh... here we go again."

NOON

Location: Central Plaza - Sundial

"It was hard enough for us to bring everyone here..." I started ranting as I tapped my finger lightly onto my elbow impatiently. "...but now we have to wait?"

Since Monokuma's announcement, we've been forced to gather everyone that was and wasn't sick and bring them all to the central plaza's sundial. When Maruko is so keen on following every order she receives, and Eita and Chigusa decided to race here, it shouldn't be as hard as it was - blame Kiyoshi for the extra persuading work we all had to do.

Not to say I didn't expect him to be a stick in the mud that'd drag us down eventually, but actually going against Monokuma's orders? That's basically suicide!

"I told you bastards that we didn't need to fucking hurry up!" Kiyoshi groaned aggressively. "Now look at this shit! That dumb bear tricked you like the dumbasses you are."

"Mister Ikeda." Sakurako glared and the Custodian brushed her off with a violent gesture. "Monokuma sure is... taking his time, however."

"Tell me about it!" Eita giggled. "I thought we had to rush over here so I even raced Chigusa!"

"Needless to say, I won!" Chigusa proudly puffed her chest and put her knuckles to her hips. "You need more protein, flabby little Eita!"

The Estimator sagged, but soon chuckled it off as a joke and shook his head, going back to his happy feet-tapping. A myriad of looks were exchanged between seven out of the eight of us who were still in good condition - Yori unfortunately excluded. "This is a nightmare."

"Tell me about it..." I answer the Street Magician's complaint. "It's like everything's been turned upside down..."

"Twelve of us remain, and now four of us are acting completely bonkers!" Kikyo ranted.

Yori flinched at the mention of the number of people. "Agh... our numbers sure have dwindled ever since we arrived in this city..." he added in a taciturn tone, weighing down our already rusty mood. "Ah, my apologies. I didn't mean to make everyone tense. It was merely a... vent, if you will."

"Yeah, yeah." Kiyoshi complained. "Where the fuck is he? If he doesn't come, I'm bailing."

A robotic chuckle echoed in the hollow circle of the sundial, sunlight reflecting from the blue crystal. "No need to get your panties in a twist, bastards! Monokuma has..." a black and white blur jumped from the hollow part of the crystal and twirled in the air à la olympic gymnast before landing perfectly on the ground below him, right in front of us. "...arrived!"

"Monokuma-sama!" Maruko cheered and bowed. "I see you have arrived! Bienvenido!"

"Oh?" the black and white bear reacted, and chuckled. "See, everyone? Learn some manners! Sucking up to me is the way to my heart!"

"No one likes suck-ups." Kiyoshi stated matter-of-factly and crossed his arms, stomping his foot on the ground repeatedly. "What gives? Why did you call us here?"

I looked at the Custodian with a raised eyebrow and eventually shrugged it off. It's not like Kiyoshi being rude is surprising anymore, but I sure wish this personality changing thing affected him. Maybe he'd be slightly less insufferable.

"Watch your fucking mouth, dipshit."

Ah, shoot.

"As I was saying!" Monokuma interrupted a fight that could've very easily broken out and cleared his mechanical throat. "I have gathered you all here to discuss something very important, both to me and to you! As you've all noticed, some of you are acting a bit weeeeeird, huh?" He was met by, surprsingly enough, silence. "Well, tough crowd today! But no matter! A comedian always keeps the ball rolling."

"Comedian?" Riou rolled his eyes and grabbed his hips sassily. "You?"

"Yes, me, rocks for brains!" he retorted. "And I shall tell you what happened here! What you see in front of you right now, these completely new characters are... a part of our new motive!"

All of us knew it, but hearing him say those words made the feeling of despair we had looming above us sink in a lot deeper than we'd expected. On the exterior, maybe the sick ones didn't show it, but there was a renewed tension in the spaces between us, both sick and well. The word 'motive' had been completely ruined for any of us. Just thinking about it makes me uneasy, reminding me of the lives I've seen end before me during the past couple of weeks. Yuki, Asuyo, Yuzuru and Frances... they're all dead because of that word.

"Hellooooo?" Monokuma sprinted to me and jumped, slapping me across the face to wake me from my thoughts. "Would you stop it with the inner monologue? What an insufferable little protagonist! Ugh... this is why I never like any of you. Hope this, belief that, sadness here, depression there. You guys are confusing!"

I rose my hand to my cheek and rubbed the sting away. "That was totally uncalled for." I yawned, internally surprised at how angry I was but at the same time, at how incapable I was to show said anger. It was like all energy had drained from my body.

"Would you explain this motive of yours?" Sakurako asked the monochromatic ursine to elaborate, and I could guess her thoughts from a mile away. If we understand the motive, we can swerve around it, and no one else will suffer the same fate as... her.

"Ah, I see you're eager to start the killing! Maybe I don't need an incentive after all..." Monokuma thought aloud. "Ha! Kiddiiiiing! I've already gone through the trouble so it'd be a waste for me to leave you guys hanging now!"

"Yeah, yeah." Yatarou hurried. "What's the matter with everyone?"

Monokuma produced a small drum from behind him and started playing a drum roll before announcing the theme of the third motive in this mutual killing game, as he calls it. "The motive is..." he continued the drum riff for what felt like way too long before he finally yelled enthusiastically "...talent swaps! Kind of."

I was just about to be shocked when his hesitation at the end caught my attention, but I was to slow to catch it. "Kind of?" Akahana noticed. "What do you mean kind of? And what do you mean talent swaps?"

"Talent swaps!" Monokuma reiterated, as if we didn't hear the first time. "As you might recall, you all passed out due to my Monokuma-brand sleeping gas, yesterday at around lunchtime, correct?"

I tried to remember the foggy memories of Riou and I's encounter and was able to recall something like a hissing sound coming from all around the mall. "That was sleeping gas...?"

"Indeed it was, lawyer boy!"

"How does this talent thing work, though!?" Kikyo questioned herself out loud. "I mean, we're all talented in something, we can't simply exchange talents!"

"That's where you're wrong, little girl!" Monokuma cackled. "Due to my expertise in the human body, my special serums - and the internet - I was able to mess with half of your brains so I could tweak your very being! It was awfully fun, actually, I might tinker with you some more later."

Everyone fell silent, and the questions kept piling up. "Wait..." Sakurako interrupted. "Half? What do you mean by that?"

"Probably he only messed with half of our brains, like... he only touched the left side of it?" Yatarou tried to find an explanation. "Maybe that's why not everyone was affected!"

"That makes no sense, Yatarou..." Kikyo raised an eyebrow and shook her head, dismissing the Tour Guide's supposed genius theory.

"No, no, no!" Monokuma interrupted, and was quick to deny Yatarou's claim. "What I mean is that, out of all twelve of you, half have been tweaked to behave a certain way!"

Eita started doing simple maths using his fingers and became quite confused, beggining to tapdance a little less quickly. "Hm, but half of twelve is six! How are there only four of us sick, Monokuma!?"

"Upupupu..." he chuckled lowly. "Are there really? Aren't there sick people among the healthy people? Or healthy people among the sick, even? Everything is possible when things don't add up... and in Anghern, it usually leads to murder!"

"WOOOOOOOO-OAH, CALM DOWN THERE, BRO!" Chigusa yelled, making everyone around her flinch. "What do you mean!? I'd say it's really obvious who's sick! And that's FOUR of us!"

"Calm down, Chigusa." Akahana pleaded, before turning back to the bear. "I have a question, Monokuma. You said the theme was 'kind of' talent swaps. Explain."

"Nothing gets past you, huh?" the bear deflated and sat on the drum, swinging his legs back and forth in alternation. "Well, truth is... I am not a surgeon! I'm only a begginer when it comes to this kind of thing... so I might have tweaked the wrong parts here and there... on one... or two... or three cases."

"Three!?" Riou gasped, hands on his chest. "That's suuuuuper lame, girl! What do you mean you did stuff wrong!?"

Monokuma looked at us once again and back down, fidgeting with his stubby paws around each other. "Well... it all adds to the despair, huh? The despair of not being able to do things properly! Ahhh, how depressed I must be." he ranted, victimizing himself. "Thing is, I did succeed in changing three of your talents... but the other three, I tweaked a different side of the brain and poof! You didn't change talents, but personality traits!"

"P-Personality traits?" Yori asked, confused. "I'm not sure I follow."

"You're saying we have basically three stereotypical talents, and three psychological copies of ourselves?" Sakurako theorized using the information we had received up until then, and judging by Monokuma's reaction, she hit the nail on the head.

"How are we sure of who is who?" Yatarou asked, concerned about everyone's wellbeing as he looked at the four we were sure were sick.

"That's not my problem!" Monokuma shrugged and hopped off the drum, grabbing it and stuffing it back behind him.

How? I don't think I want to know.

"Nooooow, I think we're done for now! I'll leave you to your despairful new task of babysitting your classmates!" Monokuma cackled as he went back inside the sundial and disappeared from view, ignoring our other calls.

We were left with the looming feeling that something was very, very wrong. Every time the motives were established, someone dropped dead. I was always sure it wouldn't happen, but it ended up happening... twice.

Maybe, third time's the charm?

LATE AFTERNOON

Location: Lake House (Kitchen)

After the motive announcement, we forced Chigusa, Riou, Eita, Shizuka and Maruko to go to sleep right after we ate dinner, leaving seven of us standing around in the kitchen with an air of distrust above us.

"Tell me, why the fuck can't I go to sleep like them?" Kiyoshi groaned in complaint. "I'm fucking done with all of you. I wish I was fucking sick too. Maybe then you'd give a shit about me!"

"Mist-"

"Don't you fucking dare." he interrupted, and sat down at the opposite end of the table, tinkering with his Electro-ID.

We all looked at him with pity, but were eventually stopped by the Prosecutorial Attorney who, as per usual, led us onto a more serious topic of discussion - the motive we had just been given. "Now, let us start the debate. What are everyone's thoughts on this situation?"

"I think it's pretty stupid myself." Yatarou confessed, tapping his fingers on the top of the kitchen island, slumped forward. "I mean... what's the problem with there being two Tour Guides here?"

"Yeah, it seems pretty underwhelming." Kikyo agreed. "Money and betrayal are pretty regular motives in crime series and the like but... personality swaps or whatever? It's a longshot. No one would kill because of it."

"I wouldn't be so sure." Sakurako stated. "Monokuma knows what he's doing... he has planted the seeds of distrust among us once again, and that might be what he's aiming for."

My eyes started drowsily closing. "Yeah but... you know, he... um... messed up..." I said sleepily.

"Tired already, Hananari?" Akahana didn't miss a beat. She never did when it came to throwing an insult or snarky comment my way.

I sighed and shook a 'no' with my head, but fell silent. "Anyway, Tsukushi has a point." Kikyo thought aloud. "I mean, Monokuma said he didn't mean to do what he did, and he tweaked our brains wrong."

"Bullshit." Kiyoshi rolled his eyes. "I bet you anything that dick lied to us. No way he'd fucking make a mistake."

"Mister Ikeda is right." Sakurako agreed. "Monokuma would not make a mistake."

The Custodian eyed the Information Broker and rose an eyebrow, but shrugged it off and went back to fidgeting with his handbook. "Speaking of which though..." Yori began a thought. "It's quite unsettling to think about. Monokuma could've messed with any of our brains."

"Yeah..." I yawned. "Crazy, huh?"

"Before we leave, we should jot down something on paper. Like try and connect everyone's symptoms to talents or people. That might help!" Kikyo suggested and grabbed Sakurako's pen and a napkin on which to write. "First of all... Eita Kurogane..." she spoke what she wrote.

Gears began to turn on everyone's minds, as rusty as mine were for some reason - I blame my sleepiness though. "Maybe... he switched personalities with Kikyo?" Akahana offered. "She is always in a good mood."

"I guess..." Yatarou agreed. "But so was Yuzuru back in Valley Views..."

"Are we throwing people who are no longer here into the mix as well?" Sakurako questioned, and Yatarou shrugged and nodded. "Hm, then Frances is a likely candidate. She was a big fan of tapdancing whenever she could, although she only did it when she was awfully comfortable with people."

"So... Eita is comfortable around us? More so than Frances was?" Akahana questioned herself, but answered her own question with an affirmative nod. "Then that settles it. The tapdancing is an odd detail to implement otherwise."

"Sure!" Kikyo wrote down the consensus on paper. "Then... Riou! Riou is eeeeasy! He's a stereotypical Hairstylist if I've ever seen one! Gossips, likes talking about hair, is overly flamboyant... totally me!"

We all turned to her as she jollily jotted down Riou's name and her own talent next to it.

"Let's talk about Maruko, now." Yori suggested. "What were her symptoms, outside the previous diagnosis?"

"She felt the need to serve everyone." Yatarou reminded.

"She was very polite and called everyone first name-sama. Which would be the japanese honorific for Master." Sakurako added, reminding us all of someone we remembered very dearly. "I believe the answer is obvious."

The original Hairstylist nodded with a smile and jotted down Yuki Batora next to the Translator's name, with a nostalgic smile. "Finally... Chigusa."

"That bitch's totally has that dumbass Boxer's personality. Loud, obnoxious, it's a perfect fit." I looked at Kiyoshi with a killer glare and he tensed, looking away. "Jeez, sorry. Don't mean to upset the gays. It's not like I hate them, I just hate that fuckface steroid brain."

I swear, I wanted to stand up and throw Kiyoshi off a building right then, but I couldn't find the strength to do it. My arms and legs wouldn't move, only my brain did - and even then, it was at the speed of molasses. "Hey, knock it off, Kiyo!" Yatarou fought back, Kikyo agreeing with an assertive nod.

Akahana thought over the list of people, ignoring Kiyoshi and arrived at a conclusion. "This means we have two personality swaps and two talent swaps. Riou and Maruko are a stereotype of Hairstylists and Butlers, or Maids in this case. Which would make them the talent swaps."

"Eita is acting like Frances, and Chigusa is acting like Riou, before he got sick." Kikyo added, arriving at the consensus we sought. "That makes for four of the sick people, then! It's better than nothing!" she cheered, raising her hand to high-five the people around her, but no one did so. "Hey, guys... high five?"

"It is much too early to do so, Miss Namikaze." Sakurako confronted the Hairstylist. "We have two other sick people among us. And we have no leads as to who it could be, as everyone here seems fine. Plus, we have a talent swap and a personality swap left in the list..."

"If anyone's talents were swapped by Yuzuru's... we could have a problem." Yori concluded, stating something that threw us all for a loop.

It hadn't dawned on me that we had been living with an Assassin all this time... and if anyone was a 'stereotypical' Assassin, as it were.

We could have a problem.

"Tsukushi?" Yatarou called, and I drowsily jolted to find him with my neck. "What's up? You sleepy?"

"Yeah... I don't know why but I'm feeling real tired. I think I'll... I think I'll hit the hay now." I stood up and lazily dragged myself out of the kitchen, like I hadn't before. "Night everyone."

A/N: Cookies for everyone who gets the chapter title reference.

IIDW is back in action after the Valentine's Day special, and we're off to a rocking start with the introduction of this new motive - Talent Swaps! Next chapter will be the obligatory Free Time events we have to get out of the way with all our sick little friends before the impending doom that awaits us. Liked the chapter? Then leave me a review, they're greatly appreciated!

QOTC: What do you think of everyone's 'new' personalities? Who are the two missing people that have yet to show their new personalities to the rest of the group? And while we're at it, which personality and talent will those two people inherit?

Until next chapter... Yamazaki out!