Author's note: The next chapter is hereeeeee! So thank you for all your amazing reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL! And I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's not very long…but I didn't have a lot of time to write and I wanted to have an update for you guys! :D
I felt like I was floating above myself; disconnected from my own body and mind. Dimitri was in a deep and peaceful sleep beside me, looking so tranquil…so happy. I hadn't seen him look like this since I'd erased him from my mind. At least I didn't remember him looking this happy. He always seemed to be shrouded in darkness. His soul and mind radiated a golden glow, yet his eyes were haunted, lost; weary from the constant turmoil his life was in. He just regained what was most important to him; his soul, his family and now in his mind he finally had me.
The only problem with his belief that I was now his was the fact that I still hadn't regained all my memories so I was still ignorant to what exactly had occurred between us which had left me so heartbroken that I resorted to erasing every trace of him from my mind. After the kiss we shared; heated and full of passion; I'd immediately been filled with guilt. It was unfair to Dimitri to dangle the possibility of a future together in front of him, just to rip it away if I decided the memories, and everything that had occurred between us, were too much to overcome.
Another problem I faced was the fact that while my mind didn't remember him entirely, the rest of me did. During our kiss I just knew it wasn't the first. I could feel the energy and heat from that kiss surrounding me, tightly wrapping me in a cocoon of love and passion. But the love and passion I had felt swirling around me wasn't new. It felt like a distant memory, a forgotten feeling.
I knew I couldn't allow another kiss like that to happen again. It was dangerous. I obviously couldn't control myself around Dimitri. He held a power over me that was too strong, a power I didn't fully understand yet. Plus I couldn't hurt him again, not after everything he's been through. He'd been to hell and back; he'd lost his soul, his humanity. He'd faced horrors that I couldn't even comprehend and he'd committed acts which I was sure he would always be haunted by. Slowly, and as quietly as possible, I slipped out of bed. I sent a silent prey to the man upstairs for at least giving me the good sense not to go further than a kiss. I exited the room, making sure I didn't make a sound.
I was surprised when I walked down stairs to be greeted by his entire family. It was still early, but they were all there, doing various things. I ventured into the kitchen where Olena was preparing breakfast. The smell of the food assaulted my senses, making my mouth involuntarily water. It looked delicious. Olena glanced up, her face lighting with a glorious smile which painfully reminded me of Dimitri's the previous night.
"Good morning," She beamed. "Did you sleep well?"
I nodded, giving her a smile in return. "Yeah. I slept well." It was a small lie. I hadn't slept at all. I just laid in bed watching Dimitri while guilt gnawed at me for hours one end.
Olena clucked her tongue. "You look troubled dear." She turned away, pouring a generous amount of coffee into a mug and placing it in front of me. "Talk to me. It may help with your dilemma."
I let out a long, drawn out sigh. "I don't even know what's troubling me. That's the problem." I just wished I could remember the specific moment where I decided knowing Dimitri was too painful to remember. How could I tell his mother that I'd elected to forget all the good times I had with her precious son just because of a few bad times? I'd forgotten her, and the entire Belikov family. But I had to tell her. I couldn't go on pretending anymore.
She gave me a patient look, somehow knowing I wanted to say more. She understood I just needed a few more seconds to organise my hectic thoughts before trying to verbalise whatever was running through my mind. But I could take all the time in the world and still not have a good way to explain what I'd done.
"I don't remember him." I blurted out. "I don't remember any of you."
Olena looked confused. She placed her hand over mine, letting it rest there in a comforting gesture that made my eyes begin to fill with water.
"Explain." She asked in a soft voice. "Get it off your mind."
"Something happened between Dimitri and I. I don't remember what it is though. But after it happened I went to a friend of mine. He's a spirit user and I asked him to make me forget Dimitri. So now I don't remember you. Any of you. I don't even remember coming to Russia to find Dimitri. I don't remember saving him. I don't remember and it's driving me crazy." I knew my voice was starting to sound hysteric but I couldn't help it. It was so frustrating not remembering important parts of my life.
Olena quickly made her way to my side, pulling me into a hug. Her hand stroked my hair gently, like a mother soothing her upset child. I had to fight the tears threatening to spill. I was a Guardian! I was supposed to be strong, ruthless. This was definitely not a highlight in my life.
"The truth is too powerful to hide for long." An older voice spoke suddenly. I turned, wiping at my eyes in case traitorous tears had spilt. I glanced into Yeva's old face. Her wise eyes gazed at me, holding an emotion I couldn't describe. "Memories are truth. They cannot be erased, just hidden. They will always reveal themselves again." Her lips twitched, like she might smile. Instead she just let out a grunt and left the room.
I turned to Olena and gave her a fleeting smile. "Is she always so…"
"Prophetic?" Olena laughed.
"I was going to say creepy…but that does sound better." I laughed with her.
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