I leave you guys alone for two weeks and look what happens…
Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll One, Part Three: Behold! The Double Ninja Burger!
By Kaori
"So…why are we outside the Franchise Manager's office?" asked Naruto.
"Oh it's quite simple." Said Mizuki. There was a long pause.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Are you going to tell me?"
"Huh? Oh, right. This is a very special test, are you sure you can handle it?"
"I don't have a choice! It's either this or the bear!"
"Well, at least you're motivated." Smiled Mizuki. "For this test, I need you to get a certain scroll from the Franchise Manager's office for me. You'll need to be very careful as the place will probably be crawling with Ninja Resources ninja and inspectors from the Ministry of Health."
"Great…" drawled Naruto, less than enthused about this. Mizuki placed a map in his hand.
"Take this, it shows where the scroll is located. I've also marked out an escape route for you. Once you get the scroll, meet me in the parking lot. Good luck." And he disappeared in a cloud of wasabi powder, causing Naruto to cough and sneeze.
"That bastard…(cough wheeze) He did that on purpose! (gag cough)"
Somehow, our stalwart hero got past all the Ninja Resources ninja, Ninja Resources bears in training, health inspectors, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, Leonard Nemoy, booby traps, boobies, and some white-haired guy pretending to be a breast inspector; and obtained the scroll.
"That was quite possibly the most messed up thing I've ever gone through in my entire life. And considering how messed up my life is already, that's saying something." Panted Naruto. "What's so important about this stupid thing anyway?" he placed the large scroll on the ground and unfurled it. "Double Ninja Burger? Dammit, why couldn't it be something cool like The Ultimate Death Blossom Technique? Oh well, I've got some time to kill so I guess I'll have a look…"
Back at the Franchise Manager's office all hell was breaking loose as employees scrambled around trying to find the Sacred Scroll. The Third Franchise Manager merely watched in amusement as his minions ran around like chickens with their heads cut off as he calmly watched Naruto on the security camera. Honestly, why are some people so stupid during an emergency?
"What will you do now, Naruto?"
Iruka was getting very worried. Naruto hadn't shown up for dinner. Highly unusual since it was ramen night and the kid practically worships the stuff. "He'd better not be stealing the ketchup packets again…" the instructor muttered before getting up to look for his favorite student.
Meanwhile, back in the parking lot, Naruto was still trying to figure out the Double Ninja Burger.
"Four soy meat patties, special sauce, cheese… No! I forgot the lettuce! Okay…four soy meat patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles…dammit what comes next?! ARGH!" the boy muttered to himself.
Half an hour later…
"Finally! I thought I'd never get this freakin' thing down! So what's next…" He was about to look at the second item on the scroll but…
WHACK!
"THERE you are!" yelled an annoyed voice. Naruto rubbed his abused head and looked up to see…
"Ah! Iruka-sensei!"
WHACK! Iruka smacked him again.
"Don't you "Iruka-sensei" me! What the hell are you thinking stealing the Most Honorable Scroll of our Venerable Ancestors?"
"Mizuki-sensei said that if I could get this scroll from the Franchise Manager's Office without getting caught I could become a full-fledged employee!"
"He did what?"
Before Naruto could repeat himself he was interrupted by four spatulas imbedding themselves in the ground between them. They both looked up to see…a streetlight. (Would somebody pan that camera up a little higher? K' thanks…) Upon closer inspection, Iruka and Naruto could see Mizuki standing on top of it.
"Naruto… I thought I told you to meet me in the parking lot." Ground out Mizuki.
"This is the parking lot." Scowled Naruto.
"I meant the employee parking lot you retard! Why the hell would I want you to meet me in the front of the building where everyone can see us?"
"Well you should have made that clearer."
"Whatever, just hand me the scroll so I can get out of here and start my own Ninja Burger franchise and make a ton of cash."
"Wait…what?"
"Naruto! Get out of here!" Iruka got in front of the boy. "And no matter what happens do not let him have that scroll!"
"Don't listen to him, Naruto." Said Mizuki. "If you let me have that scroll I'll let you be Vice Preseident."
"No Naruto! Don't do it!"
"Shut up!" Mizuki threw four spatulas and pinned Iruka to a nearby wall; the sharp edges digging into the scarred man's flesh. "This is none of your business! This is between me, and the brat."
"Hey sensei…" Naruto said quietly. "Is it true? Do you really just want to make money from the stuff written in this scroll?"
"Of course boy, what else is there?" scoffed the silver-haired man.
"But what about the honor of our ancestors? What about the pride in serving customers and being able to offer fast, efficient, and discreet service?"
"That garbage? Look kid. This is business. The purpose of business is to make money. The only purpose that stuff serves is to make the customers feel like their important so they'll spend more of their money with us."
"It may just be garbage to you…but Iruka-sensei, the Franchise Manager, and everyone else well…we actually believe it. And you know what else?" he looked up at him, righteous anger in his eyes. "I won't let you disrespect us for your greedy ambitions!"
"Ha! And just what can you do? You're just a trainee!"
"Naruto! Get out of here!" Iruka pleaded.
"Not on your life. I don't run and I won't let this jerkoff say stuff like that!" Naruto growled, closing his eyes. "I hope you're hungry Mizuki-sensei…. DOUBLE NINJA BURGER!"
Iruka looked on in amazement as Naruto prepared two hundred double ninja burgers in under ten seconds and crammed them down Mizuki's throat in the next fifteen minutes. When it was all over, Mizuki wasn't going to be getting up anytime soon. Panting, Naruto gingerly removed the spatulas from Iruka's limbs and leaned him gently against the wall.
"Are you going to be okay, sensei?" Naruto asked.
"Yeah, nothing the D.E.A.T.H.S ninja can't handle." Iruka sighed.
"So…how do you like my double ninja burger?"
"You did very well. Hey, Naruto, close your eyes for a moment."
"Huh? Okay…"
Iruka smiled and unclipped his official nametag, carefully removing his ID. He then placed it on Naruto's shirt. "Okay, you can open them. Welcome to the Ninja Burger Franchise, Uzumaki Naruto."
"Wha…You mean I pass? WOO HOOO!" he glomped his teacher.
"Hey, be careful! I'm injured here!"
Inside the security room, the Third Franchise Manager laughed. Things were going to become very interesting.