Hey guys! Sorry this took me so long, I've been really busy with school and family stuff.
This chapter isn't as good but I still think it is! I hope you all like it! 3
I do not own Hetalia or any of the characters.
The bastard doesn't let me where long sleeves anymore, he doesn't trust me I guess, but I don't see why he cares. I kept my promise for a while but I broke it a few days ago, I had to use the metal part on a pencil though, since he hid all the knives and razors. I do it on my thighs now too, since there is no possible way he can see them, unless he walks in on me changing or something.
I hadn't done it in a few weeks so once I could I kind of went all out. There's barley any room on them to cut unless I cut over the old ones or try and get the underside of my thighs, well not really. I'm kind of exaggerating there but whatever. I haven't eaten anything except for a little breakfast since last week, it's easy not to since he's never home. For someone who says he cares so much he sure doesn't act like it. If he cares so much he wouldn't leave me home alone all the time so he can hang out with his stupid friends.
Feliciano is the same way too. But he doesn't know about the whole cutting thing, I made Antonio promise not to tell anyone. But I never see either of them anymore, I'm pretty much just home alone all day, every day because Feli is too busy with the dumb potato bastard and like I said before Antonio is too busy with his stupid friends. One thing I'm happy about though, is that I've lost weight. I'm not quite as fat anymore, still fat though.
It's not fair… I mean I know I'm not necessarily nice, or kind, or well…you understand… But what did I do to deserve this? Why do I have to be the one with the shitty life? Why can't it be someone else!? I mean, of course I know I'm not the only one… But still!
I know I shouldn't let all of this shit get to me… It's not like I was raped or abused or any of that, unless you count the wine bastard being a pervert… But I can't help it! It's like Antonio and Feliciano rule my life! Fuck! I hate this so much! I just want it to be over! If I wasn't such a fucking wimp I would already be gone!
Sadly that asshole is here so I can't do anything right now. Fuck, I hear him walking toward my room.
"Lovi? Can I come in?" Antonio asked as he knocked on Lovino's bedroom door, pulling Lovino out of his thoughts.
"It's your house bastard. You can do whatever you want." He answered, turning over onto his stomach to put his face in the pillow.
Antonio walked in. He was frowning at the name the other called him, even though he should be used to it.
"Are you okay Lovi? You haven't been out of your room all day…in fact I haven't seen you come out of your room in a while." He said sadly, sitting on the edge of the others bed and putting his hand on the others back.
"I'm fine, and how would you know? It's not like you have been home to notice." He said into the pillow.
Antonio frowned more at the others comment. "I'm sorry for that Lovino…' he said quietly "I said I was going to take care of you, but I haven't been…"
Lovino scoffed. "No shit, but I don't care anyway, I never have. Besides, I can take care of myself."
Antonio could tell that he was lying and sighed. "Lovino, please don't lie to me… I can tell that you care that I'm not here most of the time, and I know you can take care of yourself. I'm just worried about you and I wish I could be at home more often. It's just… I've been really busy at work…" he said sadly.
Lovino sat up and looked at the other like he was insane. "That's bullshit and you know it. You haven't been busy at work! You've been with your stupid fucking friends most of the time! How the hell do you know what I care about? Like I said you're never here! Don't lie to you? Fine! I don't give a shit whether or not you are here, out hanging with your idiot friends, doing work, or whatever the hell it is! But I fucking hate how you pretend you care in the rare event you are home, like right fucking now! I can't stand how you think I'll be perfectly fine alone in this fucking house, when you know what I have done!" He yelled at the older, wanting to say more but knowing if he did he would accidently end up telling that he broke the promise.
"Lovino, I just—" Antonio started but Lovino cut him off.
"Stop, don't even try. Just get out and leave me alone, asshole." He said putting his face back down in the pillow.
"No, not with everything you just said. We are going to sit here and talk whether you like it or not. But since I know you won't talk then I'll just sit here till you do."
The Italian groaned and started to try and get some sleep, after about 30 minutes he realized the other really wasn't going to leave.
Antonio laid down beside the younger man and turned on his side to look at him. He smiled slightly. "It's your decision."
Lovino, instead of talking, and deciding to sick with being the stubborn Italian that he is, chucked a pillow at the Spanish man's head and glared at him.
Antonio chuckled and rolled over onto his stomach, matching Lovino's position. "I can stay here all night you know."
"Have you ever heard of a little thing called mind your own fucking business? Or maybe privacy? Personal space even? Cause I heard they are all great." Lovino rolled his eyes at the other and said sarcastically.
The Spaniard chucked again "Yes Lovi, I have. I'm still not leaving until you tell me though."
"Why not? It's really none of your fucking business."
"I just want to make sure you're okay…" Antonio said softly, a small frown on his face.
Lovino looked at him and could tell his word were sincere, sighing he sat up and said, "Fine, maybe once I do I can get some sleep. Look I just-ugh, nothing has changed, and it's just been pissing me off. Nothing has changed here since before, that happened, and now, it's all the same except that you don't bring any of your stupid friends over."
"Lovino I-"Antonio tried to say before Lovino cut him off.
"I'm not done. I hate that you can go and say that you care but soon after you leave me alone in this huge fucking house with nowhere to go because I can't stand that stupid German Feli is always with. Then you get upset because I don't believe you actually give a shit about me! It's not fair Antonio! But don't worry, I'm actually starting to get so used to it that you won't even have to worry about me! You can just spend every fucking second of your life with the other two assholes and leave me here so I don't have to deal with you or them. Happy now?" He laid back down with his back to Antonio God I sound like a fucking girl, he thought.
A few seconds passed before he finally responded. "Do you really feel like that, Lovino?"
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. Now leave so I can sleep."
"Lovino I'm sorry… I know we're immature, I know they are assholes and I know I'm never home. I'm so, so sorry Lovino… I actually told them today I wasn't going to hangout as much I as normally do, told them I have better things to do then act like 5-year-olds." Antonio smiled lightly.
The Italian scoffed, "Like what?"
"Stay here with you." He said still smiling, seeing Lovino look over his shoulder at him.
"Why should I believe you? You lied before." At this Antonio's smile was gone.
"Because it's the truth Lovino, I swear."
"Ugh fine, whatever. I believe you. Now please Toni, leave so I can sleep." He said putting his head back on the pillow.
Antonio smiled widely and laid down behind Lovino, so that they were in a spooning position.
"Oh hell no, get out." Lovino said, smacking the others hands, though he secretly wanted him to stay.
"Nope, staying for the night, Lovi~ " He said, only wrapping his arms tighter around the Italian and pressing his face into his hair.
"You're really not going to leave are you?" The younger said annoyed, giving up on his protesting.
"Nope~" Antonio answered, slowly starting to fall asleep.
"God dammit."
Again sorry it's so short, and I kinda wanted the ending to be a little funny like that, lighten up the mood a bit!
Reviews help motivate me!3