Kaori: I just had a scary thought.

Sir Frick-It: Do tell.

Kaori: If Orochimaru is Michael Jackson, then who's Tito?

Sir Frick-It: (laughs)

Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles

Scroll Two, Part Two: Begin the Test
By Kaori

It was seven in the morning when a very sleepy Haruno Sakura stumbled into the clearing where Uchiha Sasuke was already waiting; instantly she perked up and headed towards him. This did not make Sasuke happy in the slightest but rather than make a fuss he just tuned out her prattling.

Naruto showed up about forty minutes late and covered in what appeared to be tapioca pudding.

"You're late Naruto." Chided Sakura. "And what is that all over you?"

"Well, I took a shortcut through the retirement home, and accidentally started a food fight." Naruto said, fidgeting. "I think I have pudding in my ears."

"Your brain's made of pudding." Sakura said bitingly.

"You are such an idiot." Sighed Sasuke, whether he meant Sakura or Naruto is anyone's guess but only Naruto took offence.

"Takes one to know one, teme." Shot back the blonde. Sakura punched him in the head.

"Don't talk to Sasuke-kun like that!"

"But Sakura-chan…"

More yelling and arguing ensued and lasted for about an hour before Sasuke got fed up and threatened the other two with painful, food-related death.

Two and a half hours later, Naruto fell asleep. A half hour later, Sasuke was contemplating how he would dispose of Sakura and Naruto's bodies. Forty-five minutes later…

"Yo!" waved Kakashi, with one hand behind his back.

"YOU'RE LATE!" shrieked Sakura, consequently waking Naruto from his map.

"And you're loud." Quipped Kakashi. "Now that we're all here and awake, it's time to start the test." All three teenagers snapped to attention as the supervisor held up a Konoha Ninja Burger take-out bag. "Your test is to deliver this the address on the receipt within thirty minutes without being seen or spilling the soy sauce. If you fail you will have to commit seppuku." He handed Sasuke the bag. "Why are you still here? Time is honor." The three teenagers instantly disappeared. "Aah…now for some reading…"

"Kakashi!" a frantic employee suddenly appeared before him. He was wearing the Dispatcher's uniform.

"Hmm? What is it?"

"Err…do you still have the delivery bag we gave you this morning?" the Dispatcher fidgeted.

"No, I just sent my underlings to deliver it." The other ninja looked like he was going to faint. "Why? What's wrong?"

"We gave you the wrong bag by mistake. That bag is to be delivered to…"

"Bak Hua Chi? What the heck kind of name is Bak Hua Chi (1)?" snorted Sasuke.

"More importantly, why does he live on top of such a tall mountain?" groaned Naruto.

"What's the matter dobe, tired?"

"As if! I could do this before breakfast!"

At that declaration all three of their stomachs growled.

"Thanks a lot, Naruto." Grumbled Sakura, not having the energy to hit him.

Back with Kakashi and the Dispatcher (who looked like he was about to have a coronary), the supervisor was mulling over the situation in his head.

If he stayed where he was and did nothing, then there was a very good chance that the young employees would die and he could go back to hanging around the restaurant and looking at porn on the Internet. The Franchise Manager would be angry, but he'd get over it.

Then again, there was a very slim chance that they'd be able to make the delivery within the time limit and come back alive. Yes he'd be stuck with them until they managed to get promoted, but if they could survive Bak Mei they were guaranteed to be promoted quickly and he could go back to hanging around the restaurant and looking porn on the Internet.

All in all, it was win-win.

"It'll be all right." Kakashi said finally. The Dispatcher got even paler. If those kids died it would be all his fault and he'd be forced to commit seppuku.

"If they die I'm killing you before I do the honourable thing and commit seppuku."

"If you insist. Porno mag?" he offered.

"GRAAAAARGH!" (2)

Hands up everybody who's been Rick Rolled at least once this week. Okay, put your hands down, you know I can't see you. Anyway, next chapter we'll see whether or not Team 7 can pull off this delivery or be forced to do the honourable thing and commit seppuku.

1) You'll find out about this guy next chapter but if you've seen Drunken Master and Kill Bill Vol. 2 you'll know what to expect.

2) I like my Kakashi in one of two forms: infuriating, perverted bastard or sadistic, perverted bastard. Guess which one I've chosen for this story?