Donkey Look Donkey
Donkey How Donkey
Donkey Many Donkey
Donkey Times Donkey
Donkey I Donkey
Donkey Made Donkey
Donkey This Donkey
Donkey Idiot Donkey
Donkey Say Donkey
Donkey Donkey Donkey

- very old junior high school prank. Get your teacher to read the whole thing out loud, then read the middle column only. Good for a laugh and possible detention.

Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Two, Part Three: The Trials of Team 7
By Kaori

Team 7 was halfway up the mountain path and heading into a forest of bamboo.

""Hey look, a panda!" Naruto exclaimed

"Idiot. I'm not going to fall for such a stupid trick. There are no pandas in this region. You're just trying to grab the delivery bag from me." Snorted Sasuke.

"Oh yeah, then what's that!" the blonde pointed to the right and sure enough, there was a panda.

"No way…"

"Wow, there really is a panda." Sakura remarked. The panda raised a paw, seemingly in greeting. "Aww. It's so cute!" It gestured towards Sasuke. "Huh?" the panda continued to motion at the dark-haired wannabe Deliverator.

"What does it want?" wondered Naruto as the bear started to pantomime something.

"I think it wants the delivery bag."

"Well it can't have it." Sasuke glared. "We're supposed to deliver it to this Bak Hua Chi guy. Now quit dawdling." Just as they were about to be on their way, the panda let out a roar and charged towards them. "Oh shit, run!"

Now you may be wondering why they didn't just fight the panda. Well there are two reasons:

Pandas are an endangered species and since not even ninjas can escape the World Wildlife Federation, PETA, Greenpeace, and all the people in the world that love pandas getting into a fight with one would be rather stupid.

The second reason was that they simply did not have the time to deal with this right now. As their supervisor had said "time is honour"; and loss of honour meant having to commit seppuku.

Back at the clearing, Kakashi was quite happily reading Hustler over the fainted body of his fellow ninja. His conscious had started to get to him a minute ago but a few pictures of scantily clad females quickly silenced that minor annoyance. In any event, he kept telling himself that he had nothing to lose by not going after his subordinates. After all, it is said that lions push their cubs off cliffs and only take care of the ones strong enough to climb back up. He would do the same.

Now, it should be noted that Bak Hua Chi himself isn't all that dangerous so long as you didn't seek to do him harm. No, the danger lies in his current disciples: Fuk Yu and Huai Me. The temple where he lives has very strict rules, one of which forbids the consumption of fast food. Hua Chi was always breaking this rule and a number of others knowing the abbot would never kick him out since he is the sole master of the temple's Five Element Style. Until he passes on his teachings they couldn't let him leave. The abbot had apprenticed Yu and Me to him in hopes he'd do just that.

Hua Chi may be old but he's not stupid. Seeing the abbot's thinking he simply upped the frequency of his acts of disobedience. Having no other recourse, the abbot ordered the two hapless students to force their master to behave himself.

"They have escaped the panda." Murmured a bald young man in a yellow monk's robe.

"So? They always escape the panda." Snapped another identically dressed bald young man; he was a head shorter than the first one. "But it does not matter. We will stop them from reaching the master." And with that they sprang into action.

Team 7 was about to exit the bamboo forest when a hail of stones beat down on them.

"Hey!" Sakura protested as one narrowly missed her head.

"Who's there? Come out now!" Sasuke demanded. His demands were met with a harsh bark of laughter.

"You are trespassing on holy ground. Leave now or suffer the wrath of Heaven!"

"We have a mission to complete. Wrath of Heaven or not we're not going to run away!" yelled Naruto.

"Then you leave us no choice. SIC 'EM HEAVEN!"

"Wha…" boggled Team 7.

RRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!

"HOLY ZEN IT'S A DRAGON!"

As the hapless trio began the frantic dash for their lives, Hop Yu and Huai Me watched from their observation point in a monkey puzzle tree.

"Do you think the abbot will mind that we borrowed the temple dragon, Brother?" asked Yu.

"It is for the good of the temple that we are doing this." Me stated. "You heard the abbot, Master Bak must not be allowed to endanger his immortal soul and set such a poor example for the younger generation. Remember what happened last week when he managed to sneak an entire keg of beer into the temple? Besides, the teachings of the temple forbid us from harming others unless attacked, so we must get someone to do it for us."

"Yes, you make a good point."

"Thank you, Brother."

"Therefore I think it is only right that you go explain this to the abbot."

"You tricked me…"

While the two monks were talking, Team 7 was trying to escape Heaven's wrath… which mostly consisted of the dragon wrapping them up in its coils and hurling insults at them. Sasuke had turned a very interesting shade of maroon. Not because he was angry but because he was pressed up close to Sakura and the girl was using the opportunity to molest him.

"Do you give up?" a voice inquired over Sakura's perverted giggling. The three looked down to see a young monk in yellow robes looking up at them.

"Who are you?" Naruto demanded. "Why have you sent this dragon after us?"

"Fuk Yu." Bowed the monk.

"Fuck me? How dare you! When I get loose I'm going to kick your ass!"

"No, no, my name is Fuk Yu." Sighed Yu, well used to people jumping to conclusions after he introduced himself. "And I'm very sorry about this but I cannot allow you to deliver that food."

"Aren't you a monk? I thought you are forbidden from hurting others." Sakura pointed out, still rubbing up against Sasuke.

"But I am not hurting you, Heaven is; and even then he is only harming your sensibilities. However, I will tell Heaven to release you if you agree not to deliver that food."

"If we don't make this delivery they'll force us to commit seppuku!" wailed Naruto.

"That is most unfortunate but also not my problem. If I let you complete that delivery the abbot will have my Brother and I beaten and force us to eat nothing but cabbage for a month."

"To use your own words, that is most unfortunate but also not our problem." Shot back Sasuke, he'd manage to get his hands loose and was using one to restrain Sakura. "And we're going to make that delivery…" he took a deep breath and… "FIRE STYLE: FLAME BROILED TO PERFECTION!"

A stream of hot flame shot out of his mouth, burning Heaven and forcing the beast to release the teenagers, but before they could exact a quick and painful revenge on poor Fuk Yu, he was hit upside the head with a cane. On the other end of the cane was an old man with flowing white hair and a long beard wearing white monk's robe

"Trying to take my food away again, Yu? You are a hundred years too early to try and outfox me, foolish disciple."

"Master Hua Chi…" whined Fuk Yu. "it is for your own good. You know we are forbidden from consuming fast food at the temple."

"So? I'll just eat it out here." Hua Chi turned to the ninjas. "Well, what are you waiting for? I am hungry and you'll have to commit seppuku in two minutes." Sasuke quickly handed over the delivery bag as the old man gave him the money. "As for you, Fuk Yu, you're going to enjoy a nice lesson in pain once I'm done eating. I've already dealt with Huai Me."

"Have mercy, Master!" cried Fuk Yu.

Kakashi was surprised when his subordinates actually returned from the mountain with the money from their delivery. He was certain they would have been forced to commit seppuku, seeing as how they were just fresh out of Ninja Burger Academy; escaping trash talking dragons is taught at senior employee level.

"Well, congratulations, you passed." He said. "I'm impressed, especially since you got a delivery usually reserved for senior employees." This got one angry and two surprised looks. "Now I suggest you go home and get some rest; you'll have plenty of deliveries tomorrow."

Wow…this chapter was lame. Oh well, I shall continue with this story in the hopes that things will improve. Scroll Three will not have anything to do with Wave Country; instead we're going to Middle Earth where someone has ordered a Ninja Burger and an Assassination.