Trolls
I don't own Digimon or The Hobbit
The next morning just as the company were setting off it began raining hard and showed no signs of stopping any time soon. "Oh this is just terrific," Veemon whimpered as he was soaked to the bone as were Daisuke and Bilbo since they weren't wearing any clothing suited for rain.
"Mr Gandalf can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori asked him.
"It is raining Master Dwarf and it will continue to rain until the rain is done." Gandalf answered obviously frustrated by the weather as much as the rest of the company.
"I think he meant since you are a wizard you could make the rain stop or something," Daisuke said.
"Do you take me for one who can manipulate the weather just by waving my staff around and saying a few words?" Gandalf asked her with a small frown.
"Well yes, aren't wizards all powerful or something?" she answered and he sighed.
"If you wish to change the weather of the world then you should find yourself another wizard," he told her.
"If I get sick because of this rain I am so kicking your ass," she replied with a grin.
"It's summer rain, you won't catch a cold unless you removed all your clothes and ran around naked. And I do not think any of us would appreciate that." Gandalf said.
"I don't know Gandalf, some of us have never seen a naked human before who knows some might enjoy it," Fili said earning a slap on the head from Thorin as he rode past and Kili chuckled. "What? Everyone was thinking it." he complained.
"But they had the brains to keep their mouths shut nephew," Thorin told him and some of the company chuckled at the blonde's misfortune and Daisuke smirked.
"Anyway, are there any other wizards?" Veemon asked Gandalf.
"There are five of us. The greatest of our order if Saruman the White. Then there are the two Blue wizards…do you know I've quite forgotten their names," he answered.
"Well that's rude. What would you say if they forget your name?" Daisuke asked him with a cheeky grin.
"Well I doubt they would ever forget my name, but we have not seen each other for an age," Gandalf muttered.
"And who is the fifth?" Bilbo asked.
"Now that would be Radagast the Brown." Gandalf answered with a smile.
"And is he a great wizard or like you?" Bilbo asked him and Daisuke giggled at the unintentional insult.
"I think he is a very great wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the east. And a good thing too. For evil will always look to find a foothold in this world," he answered.
"What kind of evil are we talking about? Orcs or something worse?" Daisuke asked and Gandalf was silent as he looked at her.
"There have been ancient powers in this world Daisuke, but they have not been seen for an age." He finally answered and Daisuke nodded slowly looking at Veemon who had a concerned look on his face.
Soon the rain finally and mercifully stopped only after several hours leaving the entire company drenched and not in the best of moods. They stopped outside an old and abandoned farmhouse which had seen better days. "We'll camp here for the night, Fili, Kili look after then ponies keep an eye on them," Thorin told his nephews who nodded as Daisuke climbed off Yamato and walked to the farmhouse with Gandalf.
"What happened here do you think?" she asked him as she walked into the farmhouse which looked as it was taken apart by force somehow.
"A farmer and his family lived here once," he answered softly looking around.
"But something came along and drove them away?" Daisuke asked but Gandalf shook his head.
"Whatever did this, I doubt would let them live," he answered and Daisuke sighed sadly looking at Veemon who whimpered softly.
"Oin, Gloin get a fire going," Thorin said walking towards the farmhouse.
"I think it would be wiser to move on," Gandalf said loudly so the Dwarves could hear him. "We could make for the Hidden Valley." He suggested much to Thorin's anger.
"I told you already I will not go near that place," Thorin told him walking past him.
"Why not? The Elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice," Gandalf reasoned following him.
"I do not need their advice." Thorin told him.
"We have a map that we cannot read Lord Elrond could help us," Gandalf said.
"Help? A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the Elves?"
"That was Thranduil's doing, Lord Elrond is nothing like him." Gandalf said.
"Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls. The Elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather. Who betrayed my father," Thorin whispered gently.
"But you are neither of them Thorin," Daisuke told him. "You can't hold onto the past because of what happened, and Gandalf is right would he lead you to the same Elves who didn't help you when Erebor fell? If he did then he'd be a real jerk. I think we should trust him on this." She said and Thorin looked at her. "Besides I don't think he gave you the key and map so you could hold onto animosity from the past."
"I didn't know they were his to keep," he said and Daisuke sighed as Gandalf left the house not looking happy.
"Everything alright, where are you going?" Bilbo asked him.
"To see the company of the only one around here who's got any sense." Gandalf answered.
"And who's that?" Bilbo asked.
"Myself, Mr Baggins!" Gandalf shouted before grumbling. "I've had enough of Dwarves for one day."
"Come on Bombur we're hungry," Thorin said ignoring Daisuke glaring at him from behind before she walked towards Bilbo and Veemon.
"Is he coming back?" Bilbo asked and she shrugged looking at Gandalf before he went out of sight.
"No idea." She grumbled. "I have half a mind to leave as well if Thorin is going to be stubborn the entire time." She added mentally. Soon the sun had set and everyone beside Fili and Kili who were watching the ponies sat around the fire eating a stew Bombur cooked.
"He's been gone a long time." Bilbo said trying to see any sign of the wizard returning.
"Who?" Bofur asked filling two more bowls with stew.
"Gandalf," Bilbo answered.
"He's a wizard. He does as he chooses. Here, do us a favour and take this to the lads," Bofur said handing the two bowls to Bilbo as Bombur tried to get yet another helping for himself before Bofur hit his hand. "Stop it, you've had plenty." He scolded as Bilbo left to find Fili and Kili with Daisuke and Veemon who finished their stew followed him.
"Aye, it's not a bad stew, Bombur. I've had worse," they heard Gloin say before the Dwarves laughed.
"Dori could have cooked it," Ori said and they laughed louder.
"Hilarious," Dori said sarcastically. Bilbo, Daisuke and Veemon found Fili and Kili looking at some of the ponies both with worried looks on their faces.
"What did you two do now?" Daisuke asked the twins.
"We're meant to be looking after the ponies," Kili answered.
"Only we've encountered a slight problem," Fili added.
"We had sixteen," Kili said.
"But now we have only fourteen," Fili finished as Bilbo, Daisuke and Veemon looked at the uprooted trees and what was left of the stables some of the ponies were staying in for the night and Daisuke and Veemon groaned as they began searching for the ponies with the others.
"Daisy and Bungo are missing, seriously who named the ponies?" Veemon asked the twins as he stood on one of the uprooted trees. "And shouldn't we let Thorin know?"
"Uh…best not to worry him," Fili answered with a nervous smile.
"Right because whatever he doesn't know can't possible come back to bite us in the ass," Daisuke muttered sarcastically.
"Exactly. Best we find them before he comes looking for us," Kili replied turning to Bilbo who was still holding the bowls of stew. "Well Mr Baggins, as our resident burglar perhaps you might be able to look into it." he said making Bilbo gulp.
"Well um it seems something very big uprooted these trees," the Hobbit said. "Something big and possibly quite dangerous." He added before they heard something and saw a fire in the distance.
"There's a light," Fili whispered walking closer and they heard laughter and grunting. "Oh this isn't good."
"What is it?" Bilbo asked setting the bowls of stew on the fallen tree.
"Trolls," Kili answered jumping over the tree and sneaking towards the fire with the others following, Bilbo stopped and went back for the stew.
"Bilbo leave the damn stew now," Daisuke hissed glaring at him and he gulped and did as she said and they continued to creep towards the fire. They hid behind more trees and bushes as a troll walked past carrying two ponies under his arms.
"He's got Myrtle and Minty," Bilbo whispered. "I think they're going to eat them we have to do something." Kili and Fili exchanged glances before looking at Bilbo.
"Yes, you should. Mountain Trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small, they'll never see you. It's perfectly safe we'll be right behind you," Kili told him.
"Oh you two are not letting him get himself killed alone," Daisuke hissed but the twins had already run off and she groaned. "Durin give me strength," she muttered. "Veemon I think you'd better go find Gandalf, hopefully he's nearby. Tell him we're in trouble," she told her partner who nodded and ran off.
"I'll be back soon," he whispered, Daisuke turned to see Bilbo was already sneaking towards the trolls and she facepalmed before following him while doing her best to stay hiding in the bushes.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today…and blimey if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow," one of the trolls said.
"Quit your griping. These ain't sheep. These is fresh nags," the troll carrying the ponies said before putting them in the makeshift pen beside two more ponies.
"Oh! I don't like horse. I never have. Not enough fat on them," the third troll complained.
"Well, it's better than leathery old farmer. All skin and bone he was. I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth," the troll stirring the pot said before the second troll sneezed into the pot. "Well, that's lovely, that is. A floater."
"Might improve the flavour," the pony stealing troll said as Bilbo and Daisuke continued sneaking towards them.
"Well more where that came from," the second troll said about to drop more snot into the pot before his nose was grabbed by the cook troll.
"Oh no you don't," he said making the other troll whimper in pain. "Sit down!" he shouted pushing the troll down as Bilbo made it to the pen and tried to free the ponies but the rope was too thick and he had nothing to cut it with.
"I do hope you're going to cut these nags, I don't like the stinky parts," the second troll said looking at the ponies making Bilbo hide to avoid being caught as the second troll was hit by the cook troll's spoon.
"Sit down, you'll eat what I give ya!"
"I'm starving are we having horse tonight or what?" the pony stealing horse asked as Bilbo saw the second troll's crude knife and Daisuke saw the look on his face and she groaned.
"No Bilbo, don't," she pleaded as Bilbo quietly crept towards the troll.
"How come he's the cook? Everything tastes the same. Everything tastes like chicken." The pony stealing troll said as he sharpened a small knife on a stone.
"Except the chicken which tastes like fish," the second troll said.
"All I want is some appreciation. Lovely stew Bert, wonderful dinner Bert. How hard is that?" the troll now known as Bert asked the other two as the ponies neighed as Bilbo crawled past them but the trolls ignored them. "Just needs a sprinkle of squirrel dung," Bert said before seeing the second troll about to drink some grog. "Oi that's my grog," he said hitting the troll on the head again and he fell over nearly crushing Bilbo. Bert took a sip of the stew and nodded. "Now that is beautifully balanced that is, go on take a sip," he told the second troll who sipped the stew. "See? That is why I'm the cook." Bert said.
"Bilbo hurry up," Daisuke whispered before she saw the second troll reach for his handkerchief and grabbed Bilbo as well and blew his nose covering Bilbo in troll snot and Daisuke's face turned green and she nearly threw up feeling pity for Bilbo.
"Argh! Blimey! Bert! Look what's come out of me hooter. It's got arms and legs and everything," the second troll said.
"What is it?" Bert asked.
"I don't know, but I don't like the way it wriggles around," the second troll said throwing Bilbo to the ground who got to his feet. "William grab it!" he told the pony stealing troll.
"What are you then some oversized squirrel?" William asked holding his knife to Bilbo who paled.
"I'm a burglar…Hobbit!" Bilbo said correcting himself quickly.
"A burglar Hobbit?" the second troll asked.
"Can we cook him?" William asked.
"We can try," the second troll answered jumping up to grab Bilbo who ran off only to be stopped by Bert.
"He's no more than a mouthful, especially when he's skinned and boned," he said pushing Bilbo back with his spoon.
"Perhaps there's more burglar Hobbits around these parts. Might be enough for a pie," William said as Bilbo ran off.
"Grab him Tom!" Bert shouted as Bilbo ran under Tom's legs.
"He's too quick!" Tom shouted as William grabbed Bilbo by his legs and held him upside down.
"Are there any more of you little fellas hiding around here where you shouldn't?" he asked Bilbo.
"No," he lied.
"He's lying hold his toes over the fire, make him squeal," Tom said before he howled in pain as Kili emerged from the bushes his sword drawn and he cut into the back of the troll's leg.
"Drop him!" Kili shouted.
"You what?" William asked.
"I said drop him," Kili said holding his sword in both hands before William tossed Bilbo to the Dwarf who caught him and the rest of the company charged from the bushes and began attacking the trolls as Daisuke watched on from where she was hiding, she saw Bilbo rush to the ponies while avoiding being stepped on by the trolls and staying out of the Dwarves way as they battled the trolls.
"Get the sacks! Put them in the sacks!" William shouted before Dwalin crushed his foot with his Warhammer making the troll roar in pain and hop around on one foot. Ori fired his slingshot at Tom hitting him in the eye and he howled in pain before chasing the young Dwarf before Thorin slashed his arm with Dori hitting Tom between the legs with his club and the troll fell to his knees and was hit in the jaw by Dwalin's hammer knocking teeth out.
Daisuke mentally cheered on the Dwarves as she saw Bilbo free the ponies and she saw William run towards him. "Bilbo watch out!" she shouted but her warning came too late as he was grabbed and William and Bert held Bilbo up by his arms and legs.
"Lay down your arms!" William shouted making the Dwarves look at Bilbo in worry. "Or we'll rip his off." He threatened and Daisuke looked at Thorin who reluctantly dropped his sword followed by the other Dwarves.
A few minutes later the Dwarves had been stripped to their undergarments by the trolls and Thorin, Kili, Oin, Bombur, Bilbo, Balin and Gloin were shoved in sacks and laying on the ground while the others were all on a spit over the fire.
"Why can't we just squish them into jelly instead of cooking them," Tom said.
"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage," Bert replied.
"Oh, that does sound good," Tom said licking his lips.
"We ain't got all night, dawn ain't far away. Let's get a move on, I don't fancy being turned to stone," William said and Daisuke's eyes widened at hearing that.
"Wait!" she shouted running out of the trees making everyone look at her. "You are making a terrible mistake." She told the trolls. "With the seasoning, I mean."
"You can't reason with them. They're half-wits!" Dori told her.
"Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur asked him as he and the other Dwarves on the spit continued being turned by one of the trolls.
"What about the seasoning?" Bert asked Daisuke who gulped as she looked at the Dwarves.
"Well for one, have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger then sage before you plate this lot up," she said and the Dwarves all shouted at her with Bilbo being the only one who knew what she was doing kept quiet.
"What do you know about cooking Dwarf and a Burglar Hobbit?" William asked Daisuke who frowned.
"For your information, I know how to cook, it's something I learned when I was younger with my parents." She answered smiling fondly at the memories of her and her mother in the kitchen cooking, or rather making a mess. "And the secret for cooking Dwarf and Burglar Hobbit is…"
"Come on the secret tell us," Bert demanded poking her with his finger.
"I am. Please be patient. The secret to cooking Dwarf and Burglar Hobbit is to…uh skin them first," Daisuke replied and the Dwarves all roared loudly at her.
"Tom get me filleting knife," Bert told the other troll.
"I'll skin you traitor!" Gloin shouted at her.
"I won't forget that! I won't forget it!" Dwalin said as William stopped rotating the spit.
"What a load of rubbish. I've eaten plenty of them with their skin on, scarf them I say, boots and all," he said as Daisuke noticed Gandalf and Veemon on the cliff above and she noticed the sun was slowly rising and she smiled slightly.
"He's right, nothing wrong with a bit of raw Dwarf." Tom said walking to the Dwarves on the ground and he picked up Kili and held him above his mouth. "Nice and crunchy."
"I wouldn't eat that one! He's infected!" Daisuke shouted quickly and the trolls looked at her.
"What?" William asked.
"He's got worms in his…tubes," Daisuke answered and Tom groaned in disgust and dropped Kili who landed on the other Dwarves who groaned. "In fact, they're all infested with parasites it's a terrible business I wouldn't risk eating them unless you want to have a bad case of diarrhoea."
"Did she say we have parasites?" Oin asked.
"Parasites!?" the other Dwarves shouted.
"We don't have parasites. You have parasites!" Kili shouted making Daisuke groan before Thorin looked at her who sent him a quick look and he kicked Oin stopping the Dwarves who looked at him who nudged his head to Daisuke and they shut up.
"I've got parasites as big as my arm," Oin said unconvincingly.
"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!" Kili told the trolls who shared a look as the other Dwarves all began saying how infested with parasites they were.
"What would you have us do then? Let them all go?" William asked walking towards Daisuke who shrugged.
"Well…" she said before being pushed by the troll.
"You think I don't know what you're up to?" he asked. "This little tramp is taking us for fools."
"Tramp?" Daisuke asked offended before she saw Veemon wave to her and she smirked. "Actually, you're the fools you half-wits!" she shouted as Gandalf stood on a large rock.
"The dawn will take you all!" he shouted drawing the trolls attention.
"Who's that?" Bert asked.
"No idea," William answered.
"Can we cook him too?" Tom asked before Gandalf struck the rock with his staff and it split allowing the sunlight to shine through into the clearing and the trolls screamed as they began turning to stone and Daisuke watched amazed until the trolls became statues. The dwarves were stunned until they began laughing happily as Veemon jumped into Daisuke's arms and hugged her and she hugged back while the Dwarves cheered, Daisuke looked at Thorin who gave her a brief smile and nod and she nodded back. She doused the flames while Veemon worked on freeing Thorin, Kili, Oin, Bombur, Bilbo, Balin and Gloin from the sacks before going to help Daisuke help the Dwarves on the spit.
"A clever tactic stalling for time my dear," Gandalf said approaching her. "And a good thing sending your friend after me, else I might not have returned in time."
"Ah it was nothing," Daisuke replied helping Ori down and she smiled at the young Dwarf who smiled back and rushed off to get dressed as did the other Dwarves and soon they were all done and Thorin walked towards Gandalf.
"Where did you go if I may ask?"
"To look ahead," the wizard answered.
"And what brought you back?"
"Looking behind, and a warning from our little blue friend," he said looking at Veemon who was posing atop one of the troll statues making the Dwarves laugh. "Nasty business, still all in one piece."
"No thanks to the girl," Thorin said looking at Daisuke as she walked over.
"She had the nous to play for time. None of the rest of you had thought of that," Gandalf told him and he nodded slightly before Gandalf looked at the trolls. "They must have come from the Ettenmoors."
"Since when do trolls venture this far south? Especially if they turn to stone in daylight?" Daisuke asked.
"Not for an age. Not since a darker power ruled these lands," Gandalf said grimly and Thorin looked at him as did Daisuke. "They could not have travelled in daylight as Daisuke said."
"So…there must be some sort of cave nearby," Thorin said looking around before walking off to search.
"I'm glad you made it in time Gandalf, I don't know how much longer I would be able to fool the trolls," Daisuke told the wizard. "I thought I was going to fail and they'd all be eaten in front of me."
"They're safe now Daisuke, you have nothing to worry about now. And don't doubt yourself, you're quite intelligent, more than any troll." He said with a grandfather like smile and she smiled back before they went to search for the troll cave as well with the others.
The end of the chapter
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