I'm already planning my next fusion crackfic: it's Black & White/Naruto and answers the questions of where the bijuu come from, why they're so powerful, as well as toying with the idea of Naruto as an unwilling servant/plaything of a god.

Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Four, Part One: Naruto in the House!
By Kaori

"Good work today." Kakashi said to his employees. "Our shift is over so we can go home."

"Finally." Moaned Sakura. "I'm so tired I could sleep for a week."

"Well I wouldn't recommend that since your next shift is Wednesday afternoon."

"Whatever, I'm going home." Said Sasuke, heading for the door. Sakura glomped onto his arm.

"Wait up! I'll come with you! We live in the same apartment building!" The boy looked horrified.

"We do?"

"Yeah! Once I found out where you lived I moved out of my parents' house and rented an apartment there! Now we can be close to each other!"

Sasuke, frantically tried to think of a way to ditch his creepy stalker / co-worker.

"Naruto, aren't you going home now?" Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"Um, I am home."

"What are you talking about? You can't live at the restaurant." Snorted Sasuke.

"Actually he does." Kakashi said. "Pull down your pants, Naruto."

"What! Why?" Not waiting for the boy to comply, Kakashi grabbed hold of him, turned him around so the other two could see his backside, and exposed the poor boy's derriere. Tattooed there were the words: Property of Konoha Ninja Burger.

"Is that legal?" blinked Sakura.

"Well, no but it's easier than adopting him." Quipped Kakashi. "And since he's property of the franchise he isn't permitted to leave the premises unless he has permission."

"Can I be franchise property too?" asked Sasuke.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because purchasing you from your parents is not in the budget, now go home. See you Wednesday, Naruto."

"Good night, sachou." Growled Naruto. "Sakura saw my ass…" he wailed once the door to the employee lounge had shut. Unfortunately it opened again to reveal a blushing Hyuuga, a laughing Inuzuka, an unreadable Aburame, and their bemused, red-eyed supervisor.

Kiba finally got himself under control long enough to ask why Naruto was still here when his shift is over.

"I live here." Was the simple answer.

"Huh? What do you mean, you live here? You can't live in a restaurant, idiot." Snorted Kiba.

"Actually…" Kurenai started to say but Naruto cut her off.

"Oh no! You're not pulling my pants down too!"

"What?"

"Never mind, I'm going to my room." Huffed the blonde, kicking the side of the couch. To the amazement of the other occupant's of the room, a section of the wall opened up, revealing a staircase. Before anyone could ask the blonde any questions, he disappeared into the wall and it closed behind him.

"Well, that was informative." Deadpanned Kurenai. "Shall we get to work then?" Her subordinates nodded mutely.

What most lower-level Ninja Burger Employees don't know (meaning anybody who hasn't either worked in restaurant for five years or more, or who are below management level) is that every Ninja Burger Restaurant location is riddled with secret passages, hidden rooms, sub-basements, sub-sub-basement, and several tunnels running beneath it (not including the local subway system). Naruto's room is more like a small dorm and is connected to the employee lounge by the secret staircase and the weapon's vault by a secret passageway in its ceiling. Theoretically the blonde could get to almost any room in the restaurant without being seen.

Turning on the television to drown out the muzak being piped into the restaurant, Naruto changed out of his uniform, poured some water into the teapot and opened the cupboard to decide which cup of instant ramen he was going to eat tonight.

Or at least he would have if he had any instant ramen.

"Dammit…" he growled. "I'm hungry…" Inspiration struck. "I know!"

Down in the employee lounge, Team 8 was about to leave on a delivery run. Unlike Kakashi, Kurenai was actually a responsible supervisor and was going along to make sure nothing happened to her rookie team. The secret panel opened up and Naruto barged into the room.

"Hey, are you guys going out on a delivery?" asked Naruto.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" asked Kiba, packing extra ketchup packets into his red, dog -shaped, backpack that he lovingly referred to as Akamaru (1).

"Great! Can you pick me up some ramen on the way back? I'm all out."

"Like hell we will! What do you take us for?"

"Oh come on! I'm starving!" begged Naruto. "I'm not allowed to use the kitchen, I can't afford to order anything, and I can't leave the premises to get food myself!"

"Why can't you leave the premises?" asked Shino.

"I belong to the restaurant. Me leaving without authorization is like you guys stealing the couch."

"You belong to the restaurant? How the heck did that happen?"

"We're not allowed to talk about that." Said Kurenai, hurriedly. "Well, Naruto, since letting you go hungry would be abuse of company property and child neglect, I guess we have no choice but to do your grocery shopping."

"YAY!" cheered Naruto. "I need enough to last until the end of the week. The old man usually sends someone to restock my cupboard around then. Oh, and I only eat Ichiraku brand ramen. All the others are just nasty."

"Fine, anything else?"

"Umm…and if it's not too much trouble…" he motioned for Kurenai to bend down so he could whisper something in her ear.

"I'll see what I can do." Smiled the supervisor. "Come on team, we have work to do!"

Will Team 8 get the ramen? What else did Naruto send for? Can Sasuke get a restraining order against Sakura? At least two of these questions will be answered in the next chapter.

1) Since Akamaru is a dog, and the health inspectors would have a field day if he was "employed" at the restaurant, he has been replaced by a red dog-shaped backpack for this story.