Chapter Six

"What, no lightning today?" the voice rang clearly in her head. She turned to her side in her sleep, trying to drown it out. She would not think of that terrible night. She couldn't think of it ever again.

"Zuzu, you don't look so good," she heard a cruel female voice laugh, and she turned back to her other side, more willing to hear a dying man's last words than the words of the deranged woman who had killed him.

Katara shot awake in the middle of the night feeling sick to her stomach. She kept reliving it over and over in her head: Zuko taunting Azula, Azula aiming lightning at her, and Zuko jumping in front of her… "Idiot," she muttered to herself, shaking her head, exiting the tent to get some air, hoping it would calm her nerves and soothe her stomach.

She rolled her eyes when she heard her brother laughing with Suki from a nearby tent. She wanted to hate them, to hate them for being alive and together and happy and in love while she was left alone, heartbroken, miserable. But she couldn't do that. They both deserved to be happy, and she was glad they were able to find peace and solace in one another.

She sighed when she saw Aang sitting off by a nearby stream and approached him. "You should get some sleep," she placed a hand on his shoulder. "I haven't seen you sleep since you fought Ozai."

"There's no time to sleep," Aang replied and drew random images in the sand with his staff. "Besides, you're one to talk."

"It's just hard," she admitted and sat beside her friend. "Every time I close my eyes, I see him."

Aang nodded and stared back into the sand. Katara sighed and stared at the water, admiring how it could still go on moving as if nothing had ever happened in the world, as though her world hadn't been completely shattered.

"Are you okay?" Aang turned to face her. She sighed and nodded, knowing that she would not be able to keep her composure if she were to speak. "I don't know what I'm going to do," he shook his head and threw his staff down. "How am I supposed to find a new Firelord?"

"Iroh didn't agree to do it?" Katara frowned.

Aang shook his head. "Only to run the country until we find someone. Why couldn't they have had a bigger extended family?" Katara tried to follow the rant that had started after that comment, but the discomfort in her stomach was getting worse. "Katara?" she blinked when she thought she heard her name. "Katara?" she shook her head when she saw Aang's hand waving in front of her face. "You look like you're going to be sick."

"I feel like I'm going to be sick," Katara admitted.

And she was.

"Well?" Katara asked. Pakku had volunteered to see her, to see if he could figure out what had caused her sudden illness. "Am I sick?"

He hesitated to answer. "Not quite."

Katara frowned. "What do you mean, 'not quite?' I'm either sick or I'm not. Which is it."

"I… I think that's something your Gran Gran should answer," Pakku replied before leaving her alone.

Katara sighed in frustration and lay back on the ground. She had traveled the world, had helped the Avatar to save the world, and she was still being treated like a child. That had been part of what had drawn her to Zuko. He had never treated her as a child, not even when they had been enemies.

It seemed an eternity before her Gran Gran stepped into the tent. "Come here, my little waterbender," the old woman sighed and sat, wrapping an arm around Katara. Katara leaned into her touch, wanting to stay safe in her arms forever.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"You aren't sick," Gran Gran replied. "You're with child."

Katara blinked, searching her grandmother's eyes for any sign the woman was joking, and finding none. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be. She was still so young. She was unmarried. And she had only been with one person… "No," she shook her head. "No, you're lying to me."

"I wish I were," the old woman rubbed Katara's arm, her grip on her granddaughter firm, as though she were afraid to ever let her go from her sight again. "But you are. And there's nothing to do now but carry them and have them and raise them and love them. Of course, you'll have to let the father know…"

"I can't do that," Katara spoke, her voice cracking.

"Why not?" Gran Gran frowned, her sorrowful face turning to one of anger. "Did someone take advantage of you? I knew I should not have allowed you and your brother to travel the world alone…"

"No, Gran Gran," Katara shook her head. "Nothing like that happened."

"Then why must you keep it a secret from the father?" Kana took her granddaughters hands in her own, squeezing them tightly.

Despite her best efforts, Katara could not keep her tears from falling. "Because his sister killed him." The words had come between broken sobs, and she hated herself for it, hated herself for not being able to keep control, for crying like the child she was so determined not to be seen as.

"Oh, my dear," Gran Gran shook her head, and Katara hated the pity she saw in her grandmother's eyes. Before she could utter another sound, though, she had been pulled into a tight hug. "I am so, so sorry, my love."

For the first time since Zuko's death, Katara wept, letting all of her emotions out, her anger, her sorrow, her emptiness, her confusion. "Sokka and Dad are going to kill me," she said between sobs.

"I'll talk some sense into them," Gran Gran replied. "You're going to need all of the support you can get from here on out."

Zuko, you idiot, she screamed inside her head. How could you leave me like this? How could you?!