(Matt P.O.V)

It had been a long day at the Wammy house, considering Mello's little tirade, and it was now time for bed. Well, for me, Mello, Near, and all the other younger kids. The teenagers got to stay up a bit longer, but I didn't really care. Night time was the best time for me. I could take my goggles off and not have the glare hurt me, me and Mello could talk until we fell asleep, and if we were lucky, L would come in and read stories to us.

Near had begun to join us in the evening when L would read to us, much to Mello's distaste, and had chosen more times than not to fall asleep on the blonde's lap. I guess that's why he had started hating story time. I myself found it completely humorous. It was almost adorable the way the five-year-old clung to Mello, though of course I never said anything.

Near had yet again fallen asleep on Mello's lap, and I tried my best not to laugh. The look the blonde had on his face was priceless. L had only just finished his story when he took notice of this as well. We both found it amusing that this little ball of white would be attached to ticking time bomb of a blonde. Again, it was priceless.

Mello was about to move so Near couldn't touch him, when L stopped him. "Let him rest. He doesn't get a lot of sleep as it is, so he needs this."

"But why me!?" Mello exclaimed quietly.

L shrugged. "Maybe because he thinks of you as an older brother. You know he only had two sisters, and they were very cruel to him."

"So I have to suffer?"

I nudged Mello playfully. "Hey c'mon, it's not that bad. You two could be like A and B."

Mello pushed me to the floor after that and I chuckled quietly. It wasn't long until we were told to go to bed by L, who had picked up Near – much to Mello's relief – and had taken him to his own room. After we had crawled into bed, I turned on my Gameboy and started up a conversation with Mello.

"So, are you okay now?"

"What do you mean?" He asked as he rolled his covers around him. The December air was getting to all of us. Although Christmas would be soon coming, the cold was still annoying… even with the heaters on.

"Your little rant about god today. How do you feel now?"

"Tired… that's pretty much it. I shouldn't have gotten that angry though. It's unfair to everyone else."

"Don't even worry about it. Linda should've known by now what makes you blow up. If she learned that prior to, I think all that could've been avoided."

"I suppose. Though, I have been thinking…"

He had stopped right there. He never really did say what was on his mind, though I thought this was a little more important than his usual demeanor.

"What? What have you been thinking about?"

Mello was quiet for a long time. I had actually thought he had fallen asleep until…

"…I've been thinking about ending it. All of it."

I had to pause my game and look at him to see if I was hearing it right. "Mel? You… you don't mean…"

"C'mon Matt, it's the best escape for me. No more nightmares, no more anger. I wouldn't be living in the same world as my father…"

"But Mels, killing yourself! How would L feel if you did that?! How do you think I would feel?! Why would you even consider this?!"

"Because maybe I'm tired of being the bad guy." He hissed at me. "Maybe I'm tired of looking in the mirror and only seeing a reflection of my own dad!"

Mello only ever spoke of his father once before in front of me. And he wasn't so happy about it all. Though, he never told me why he hated his dad so much… until now.

"So… your dad was a lot like you, then?"

"No," he said as he lay back on his pillow. "He was worse. He'd beat me and scream at me for no reason. And the only one who cared about me was my mother. Not even my own brother cared about me. I'm almost too sure he wanted me dead anyway. So, when I had my chance, I kicked my brother's sorry ass and ran away from home. My ass of a father followed, but he never found me. I met L, he took me in, and now here I am."

The way he told it was almost forced. Like he didn't want to tell me, but he knew it was better that he did. However way he told it, I still found the ammunition to help with the suicidal thoughts.

"So," I said as I sat up a bit. "You're gonna end your life for the same man that wanted you dead?"

"What? No, I…"

"You're gonna end it because of something a sorrowful bastard did to you? Because he feels beating up a child will compensate for the lack of balls he has to be a father!? You, Mello, are an idiot!"

"You don't understand…"

"I don't? Well, here's a pitcher for ya. My father threw knives at me, my mother ran off after I was born, my grandmother died before I was three, and the only friend I have in this entire world is you! So don't look at me and say I don't understand, because I do. And I have thought about suicide, thank you, but I stop those thoughts when I think about how much it would kill you if I did that, how much it would kill L to go through that. I stop those thoughts because I know that if I have you, L, and this school, I can be happy. Why can't you see the same thing?"

Mello, for once, had been put in his place… by me no less. He was silent for a long while, which only made me nervous.

Whenever it came to suicide, I never liked to speak of it. It was such a touchy subject for me, and it had only gotten worse when I found out about A being suicidal. I had even found the guy cutting his wrist in the bathroom before he slammed the door on me. Now, I truly feared for his safety. I only hoped B would help him after I had told him.

Mello finally got out of bed and padded his way towards me. When he had crawled into my bed he hugged me closely. I won't lie, I thought he was going to strangle me or something. But after realising that he wouldn't hurt me, I hugged back.

"Danke," was all he said. I had learned enough German from him to know it meant 'thank you'.

"No problem." I replied as I hugged him tighter. I was only seven at the time, but I knew from times like these, it would only make the friendship I shared with Mello stronger.

When the hug ended, Mello went back to his bed, grabbed his pillow and blanket, and then walked back to my bed. After asking why he wanted to sleep in my bed that night, he replied with, "I already know I'm gonna have nightmares, so why go through the torture first if I'm gonna end up here later."

Couldn't argue with that logic… not that I wanted to.

That night was peaceful and quiet. No nightmares from Mello, and no worries from me. Although, there was a certain air that made shiver at some moments. I didn't know until the morning what it really was. And still to this day, I wished I hadn't been woken.

A/N: I feel like I don't write enough with Matt... Yet he's one of my favourites. :)

Reviews are welcomed.