A/N: I'm sorry for updating so "late", because we are already making a lot of progress with this storyline and are very far already, but I'm so busy in real life and with all the "copying" and "proof-reading" it takes a little time to update… :)
I'm glad we got 2 new comments, but more would always be awesome… if you like the story, it would be great if you'd leave a note… and if not, it also would be great to tell us why not! =D
So far, so good, enjoy the next chapter C=
Jackson Avery POV:
Jackson was sure that at this rate Mark was going to have one hell of a headache tomorrow.
"I..I..shouldn't be here"
"Don't be ridiculous" Jackson said as he fished his keys out of his jacket pocket "I can't have you walking drunkenly into traffic"
Jackson had just pushed the key into the hole and turned the lock when he felt Mark crash into his body.
He must have been really drunk.
Turning around Jackson was surprised to discover how close Mark was to him. So close that the younger man could smell the faint scent of tequila Mark must have been drinking after the two parted ways.
"You shouldn't have brought me here"
Jackson could see something in Mark's eyes. Beyond the intoxicated gaze there was something the man never expected to see.
Lust
Lust directed at Jackson and in an instant the man knew he was in a complicated situation. Jackson watched as Mark placed his hands on either side of his head as he leaned against the door.
"I'm drunk and I'm sorry"
"Mark I-" Jackson started to say before he felt the older man crash his lips onto his own. Jackson felt Mark place a hand on the back of his neck and pull him in closer.
How was this happening?
Jackson's mind took several seconds to process this. Mark, his boss and mentor, kissing him with a desperate urgency that made Jackson feel flush.
It felt good, really good.
"Stop" Jackson said as he finally pushed Mark away "What are you doing?"
Mark had pushed his body against Jackson's once more and for the first time Jackson could feel Mark's arousal against his leg.
"Been thinking about this all night" Mark whispered before capturing Jackson's lips once more. The next thing Jackson felt was Mark turning the doorknob and swinging his apartment door open as he pushed Jackson in and shut the door with his foot, never breaking away from Jackson once.
"I can't" Jackson said, but the protest sounded weak and without conviction.
Mark must have spotted the couch that was in the living room, because Jackson felt the man pick him up and carry him the few feet from the door to lay him down on the soft cushions before crashing on top of him.
Jackson needed to stop this, but the feeling of Mark kissing his neck sent shivers down his spine.
"This is wrong" Jackson said.
"Something that feels this good can't be wrong, right?" Mark said.
In an instant Jackson could feel his body go cold. The statement was exactly what April had said to him in San Francisco.
It was happening again and Jackson was too stupid to pick up on it. Mark, like April, was hurting and instead of doing the right thing he was doing the easiest thing.
He was going to be another person's mistake.
"Stop" Jackson said as he pushed Mark off of him and stood up. Once Jackson got free he looked around. What if April or Alex had seen this? Mark was drunk, what the hell was he thinking?
"Jackson?" Mark looked confused "What's the matter?"
"You should sleep" Jackson said clearly shaken "we have some sheets and pillows in the hall closet" and with that Jackson headed for the stairs.
"Jackson, wait"
"I'll see you in the morning" Jackson told Mark and before the other man could say a word Jackson made his way to his room and closed the door.
Kicking off his shoes and pants Jackson jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his head.
He just wanted to sleep.
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark felt Jackson pushing him away after he kissed him, but despite Jackson seeming slightly confused, he also looked like he had enjoyed the kiss, and Mark didn't plan on stopping what he was doing anytime soon. Instead, he pushed his body against Jackson's once again to let him feel how hot he was. And how horny. And how much he wanted him.
Once they were inside Jackson's apartment, he could feel him slowly giving in, even though he still tried to protest. But without much effort. He looked around and found Jackson's couch and yes, that would do it for now. They could always move into the bedroom later, but right now he just wanted to be close to Jackson. He ignored everything else within him that told him that he shouldn't do it - most likely his brain, his consciousness - because he wanted this so bad. He wanted Jackson so badly.
He carried Jackson to the couch and laid him down there, only to be on top of him seconds later. He breathed in Jackson's scent and it was intoxicating. He wanted more, so much more, so he started kissing Jackson's neck, while his hands were running up and down Jackson's body.
"This is wrong"
Jackson tried to object once more, but Mark couldn't make himself stop. He needed to feel Jackson, and the thought of having him so close drove him up the wall. Jackson was driving him crazy.
Before he could go on doing anything, though, Jackson all of a sudden pushed him off himself and stood up. Just a couple of seconds ago he seemed to like the idea of them, and Mark thought he was just about to give in, but right now, there was nothing of it there anymore. The fire in Jackson's eyes was gone and it brought Mark back to reality in an instant. What had he done?
He heard Jackson say something about that he should sleep and that there are sheets and pillows in the closet, but it almost didn't reach him.
"Jackson, wait!" he shouted for him when Jackson turned away, but Jackson just left. Left Mark sitting on his couch and feeling so vulnerable all of a sudden. What was wrong with him? Why had Jackson turned him down? He could feel that Jackson was responding to the kiss and it had felt so good, and now he just felt... empty... alone...
He got up from the couch, still swaying a little bit, but managing to compose himself. He turned on the light - which they hadn't done yet - and looked for some piece of paper and a pencil. There was no way he could stay there for the night. He found what he was looking for in the kitchen and wrote Jackson a note.
Jackson, I'm sorry for what I did. Just forget it ever happened and let's go on being friends. I can't lose you, okay? Because you're the best thing that happened to me in a long time. Mark
His handwriting was shaky and his letter sounded way too sappy for his own taste, but he could always blame it on the alcohol later. And it was true, he didn't want to lose Jackson. It scared him that he started to develop feelings for his younger resident and it shocked him, that he hadn't realized it sooner. That it had taken Jackson and April to sleep with each other to make him see what was in front of his eyes. Jackson and him had been pretty close in the past few months, ever since they had started working together, but just now did he see how close they really were.
He placed the letter on the living room table, before he made his way out of Jackson's apartment, and was already halfway home when he thought about Julia being there, and he just couldn't face her right now, either. So he decided to crash at Derek's place, the old one, hoping he was able to spend the night there. He needed time to think. He needed time alone. This was all too much. First the thing with Lexie and Julia, and now there was Jackson. Maybe he should have chosen Lexie instead of Julia, maybe he should have gotten back together with her. Maybe he would be happy now if he did. Maybe. He most likely would never find out. And who knew if the feelings he started developing for Jackson wouldn't have been there anyways.
Jackson Avery POV:
Jackson was having a horrible morning.
A restless sleep had lead to an anxiety crippling breakfast. He had tried to eat a bowl of cereal, but the second Alex walked in and started to talk about one of his job prospects in Miami Jackson had lost his appetite.
"You got an offer there too, didn't you Avery?"
Jackson did. To the same hospital Alex had gotten an offer, but his mind had been so set on staying in Seattle that he completely forgot about it.
"We could do some real damage there" Alex says and after last night Jackson's stomach clenched at the thought of that being a real possibility.
Mark's note still played in his mind. Things were screwed up between them now and with April still avoiding him like a plague Jackson may no longer have a choice when it came to working at Seattle Mercy.
Getting up Jackson dumped his bowl in the sink and was about to head upstairs before he heard Alex call him.
"Wait about 10 minutes and we can ride in together" Alex said and although Jackson really wasn't in the mood for company he didn't protest.
The ride to the hospital was the shortest and longest one of his life. The last time Jackson was this nervous about walking in was the day it had re-opened after the shooting.
That was a tragedy. Jackson felt a little stupid even carrying those same emotions from that day.
What would he say to Mark? How could the two even pretend to ignore what had happened the previous night?
They were both adults, though. They could admit their mistakes and move on. Even if Jackson could still taste Mark's kiss on his tongue.
Jackson's bravado was charged and ready until the moment he saw Mark at the nurse's station looking over a chart. His confidence fell away almost immediately and when Mark looked over to him and made a move to come towards Jackson the man panicked.
"Alex, wait!" Jackson said running over and putting a death grip on the man's arm.
"Ouch, damn" Alex said.
"Arizona is still on vacation the rest of the week, right?" Jackson asked
"Yeah, why?"
"Meet your new assistant for the day" Jackson said
"You're a plastic surgeon, not a day care worker" Alex told him.
"Do you wanna deal with double the amount of kids today or not?"
Alex looked like he contemplated for a moment before agreeing.
"Fine, but any good thing you do today and I get full credit" Alex told him.
"Okay" Jackson said and looking back at Mark and seeing his face looking so sullen Jackson hated himself for being such a coward.
Mark Sloan POV:
When Mark had arrived at Derek's and Meredith's old house, no one had been at home. Of course not. But lucky for him, he knew where the spare key was and took it from underneath the flower pot and crashed on Derek's living room couch. All he could think about was Jackson, and the kiss they had shared. What was it with him and the residents? First Lexie and now Jackson? That was crazy. He probably should just forget about everything and try to just be friends with him again. He just hoped, it was possible, and that Jackson got his letter and really would forgive him.
It took Mark a while until he could find some rest, and the next morning he felt totally knocked out, and his headache was killing him. But that was the punishment for drinking so much.
He took a quick shower and went to Derek's old bedroom to borrow some clothes he knew his friend still kept here - just in case - and then he made his way to the hospital, anxiously waiting for Jackson to arrive as well. He needed to talk to him. He needed to clear the air before they started to work. He had to apologize to him and he just HAD TO try to make everything better. He wanted Jackson in his life so bad and he was afraid he had destroyed everything by kissing him and trying to seduce him.
He was leaning over the counter, talking to a nurse, when he heard some footsteps and turned to see Jackson and Karev coming along the hallway. He started walking towards the two of them, when he all of a sudden heard Jackson shout out for his colleague-resident, who had already turned away, and saw him grabbing Karev's arm.
"Alex, wait!"
He stood close enough to get their conversation, the whole conversation, and it felt like a punch in the gut. And it kind of broke his heart. He wanted to say something, wanted to scream after Jackson, but his mouth wouldn't listen to his brain. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. Nothing. Something that had never happened to him. He was normally pretty good with words, but not today. Today was different.
He watched Jackson leave and turned around, feeling pretty depressed suddenly. That was pathetic. He would survive a day without Jackson, right? It wasn't like they were married or anything like that, and even Callie and Arizona, despite they were married, worked in different sections of the hospital and sometimes didn't see each other for the whole day.
Violently, he shook his head, rolling his eyes about himself. If Jackson didn't want to talk to him or see him, so be it. He turned and walked towards Dr. Hunt's office.
"Dr. Sloan! What can I do for you?" the older doctor asked once he knocked and entered the room.
"Avery... Dr. Avery works with Dr. Karev today and I need help. Is there someone I can have for the day?" he wanted to know.
Hunt tilted his head. "Is everything alright between the two of you?"
Mark raised an eyebrow. "Yes? Why wouldn't it? It's not like we're glued to each other. A day with Karev won't kill Avery."
"I was more concerned about you, actually," Hunt gave back. "But okay, let me check..." He typed something in his computer and a few seconds later he looked up at Mark again. "Kepner would be available. If you want her, I'll page her right away."
"Kepner?" Mark sighed, thinking about it for a moment.
"If you don't want her...," Hunt started, but Mark cut him off mid-sentence. "Kepner it's okay. Tell her to meet me at the nurse's station."
With those words he left Hunt's office. Kepner. That was actually a good thing. Maybe he could bring her to talk to Jackson again. That was the least he could do and maybe, just maybe, it would bring Jackson to talk to him again. He was actually almost looking forward to work with Kepner, when he arrived at the nurse's station, only to see her running towards him.
"Dr. Sloan, Dr. Hunt said you needed me," she said heavy breathing. "I came as fast as I could."
Mark put on a smile. "It's okay, Kepner, everything's fine." He patted her back. "Calm down. You're under my service for today."
Kepner looked up at him wide eyed. "Really? But what about Jackson... Dr. Avery? Will he be there as well?"
Mark shook his head. "Don't worry, he's with Karev for the day. We're alone."
The younger resident let out a relieved sigh. "Good."
"Come on, let's get to work," Mark replied, guiding her to the first room and handing her a chart. Oh yes, this would be a very interesting day.
Jackson Avery POV:
There was a time when Jackson had seriously considered Peds as a specialty. He loved kids and kids generally seemed to love him too.
Jackson had only offered to help Alex because he was too scared of being alone with Mark, but he had to admit he was really enjoying himself.
Sarah Myers was in the hospital in preparation to get her tonsils removed. A simple surgery, but hospitals made the little girl nervous so Jackson had spent the last twenty minutes playing Go Fish with her.
Jackson only felt a little bad that she had already beaten him twice.
He was preparing for another game when Alex walked in and tapped him on the shoulder "It's lunch time, man"
Looking at the little girl Alex smiled "Sarah, your mom is waiting for you in your room"
"Okay" the little girl said "Can we finish our game later Dr. Avery"
"Jackson" the man said "and I wouldn't miss it for the world"
"How do you do it, man?" Alex asked Jackson as the two made their way to the cafeteria.
"Do what?"
"Get those kids to like you on the first day?" Alex and Jackson rounded the corner "It took me months to get some of those kids to even smile at me"
"It might help that I don't get annoyed with them after 20 seconds"
"I don't get annoyed...anymore" Alex said and Jackson laughed. It felt good to enjoy himself after feeling like the dark cloud over his head would never leave.
As the two men entered the cafeteria and headed for the food line Jackson looked over and saw Mark almost immediately.
Mark with April, as if this situation could get any worse.
Jackson's heart was already going a mile a minute.
He knew he was being paranoid, but his mind couldn't stop wondering what they were talking about.
Were Mark and April both coming to the conclusion that the man just wasn't worth the effort they had put into him?
By the end of the day would Mark revoke his offer to stay at Seattle Grace?
Jackson couldn't believe how much the thought terrified him.
"Are you just going to stand there?" Alex asked and coming out of his thoughts Jackson grabbed a tray.
"This Miami thing?" Jackson asked "are you serious about accepting their offer?"
"It's a good offer" Alex said "Almost twice what I expected"
Jackson remembered the offer Miami had made to him and like Alex's offer it had been so much more then he had expected.
"Are you thinking about accepting, because if you are I'd rather have one familiar face with me" Alex said.
Looking over at Mark as the older man held an intense conversation with April Jackson picked up a fruit cup and followed Alex to one of the spare tables located at the far end of the room.
"Yeah" Jackson said "I'm thinking about it".
Mark Sloan POV:
"Please, Kepner... he's your best friend... you have to at least try to talk things out, or you might regret it later..." Mark tried time and time again to convince April that she shouldn't give up on Jackson after what had happened between them, but so far with no luck. April stayed bull-headed.
"Why do you even care?" She asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Because he means..." he started, but cut himself off immediately and started all over again. "Because he's my friend and I care about him. A lot. And I see that he suffers because of this situation. I'm sure it wasn't ONLY his fault..."
"No, it wasn't," April finally admitted, letting out a sigh.
"I really miss him... but I have no idea how I can ever look him in the eye again. I mean, he has seen me naked," April went on, blushing slightly.
"If that helps you, you can see me naked," Mark offered. "And you will notice that it's not that big of a deal. Take me and Callie... Doctor Torres... when we were both Single we had this kind of friends with benefits thing going on and it never did any harm to our friendship."
"Yeah, but I'm not Doctor Torres and Jackson is not you. I just can't handle the whole situation... it's all too much. And then I've failed my boards... can it get any worse?" Again, the younger resident sighed, this time a lot more desperate.
"It can, if you don't talk to him. God knows what will happen then. Maybe he's gonna take one of those offers he got from all over the country, and then he will be gone," Mark replied and felt a deep sadness within him. He didn't want Jackson to go at all, but it was his decision, and he had already told him that he wanted him to stay. What else could he do?
"You really think he might go?" April asked doubtfully.
Mark nodded. "I really think he might go, yes."
April looked around and all of a sudden her finger pointed to another table. "Okay... I think I should talk to him right now."
Mark hadn't even noticed Jackson until then and he swallowed hard. "You do that... I'll see you later for the surgery." With those words he stood up and carried his dinner tray to the dining car. He had barely eaten anything, but right now he just wasn't hungry anymore. He almost couldn't bear to be in the same room with Jackson anymore.
April Kepner POV:
April felt more than just nervous, walking over to Jackson like that while he was obviously talking to Alex. She didn't want to annoy him or anything like that. Especially not after what had happened between them and since they haven't even said "hello" to each other in days. Which was for the most part her fault, April knew that. But she still felt embarrassed for sleeping with him. More so because the sex had felt absolutely awesome, and she could totally understand now, why people did it all the time. Also, Jackson was the right one to lose her virginity to, since he was her best friend and April trusted him.
She took a deep breath before walking the past few metres towards Jackson and tipping him on the shoulder.
"Jackson? Can I talk to you for a moment, please?" she asked, noticing that her voice was on a high pitch… like always when she was really nervous.
Jackson turned around and looked up at her, puzzled. "Really?"
April nodded. "Yes, please. It's important."
Jackson turned back to Alex. "If you would excuse me for a minute?"
"And if not you're going anyways," Alex gave back. "So be my guest."
Jackson nodded towards Alex and got up. "Here?" he asked, but April shook her head. "No, come on." She took his hand and pulled him towards the hallway and directly into one of the on-call rooms, before she had even realized what she was doing herself.
"Seriously, April The On-Call Room?" Jackson asked and raised an eyebrow. "What do you want?"
"Talk... I only want to talk," April said hastily.
"Look... I'm really sorry I've been ignoring you the whole time, but the thing is... ever since we slept together I feel so embarrassed. I can barely look at you and whenever I do, I think about this night... and I don't know how the fuck I can get what happened with you out of my head and be best friends with you again, because it was just fucking awesome, and I wanna do it again and that embarrasses me even more," April ranted on. "I mean..." She looked up at Jackson. "Not necessarily with you... even though you were really good, but I'm not in love with you, because you're my best friend and I..." She started blushing. "I am making a total fool of myself, but the thing is..."
Slowly April took a step towards Jackson. "I love you. You're the only real friend I have here, the one that knows me better than anyone else, and I need you right now. Please don't go. Please don't leave." She let out a deep sigh. "God, that felt good, getting this off my chest. Doctor Sloan was right."