A/N: Hey guys, sorry for the wait, but I have homework and other assignments I need to do so the chapters are going to slow down a bit. I'll try my best to update when I can.

Also, I'd like to apologize for this chapter as it is not my best work. Next one will be better

(Matt P.O.V)

A whole year went by like the speed of a snail… if he were riding a Ferrari. It seemed like only a day had gone by since the death of A and departure of B. L hadn't been around too often since then either. Not that he was ignoring us per say, but rather it was like he was avoiding the cold feeling around the house. I always had the feeling like L was scared of death. Scared to be around it. Maybe that's why he hid behind a monitor. He was scared to face something he knew nothing about.

But I'm off topic.

It was close to Christmas time once again at the Wammy house, and we were all hoping this year would be happier than last. I don't even remember there being a Christmas the year before. Maybe it got cancelled because of the events. But this year seemed better. B was in an Asylum and therefore could not hurt us, and L had even joined us for the holidays. All but one person seemed to be in a good mood.

Mello had become sadder as the months rolled by. He didn't really seem like himself anymore. Not even Near got to him. He was just… Melancholy.

He didn't make the effort to get out of bed one morning, so I tried to talk to him. That was a complete bust, so I went to L. He didn't seem to fare any better. Mello just simply stayed in his bed, not even munching on his beloved chocolate. Something was definitely wrong with him.

L tried to speak to him once more. "Mello, are you feeling alright?"

No answer. It made me sad to see my best-est friend look so low.

"Mello, if something's wrong you know you can talk to me. Could you please say something to me, anything at all?"

Finally, I saw his eyes shift towards L. "They've all forgotten."

"Forgotten?"

"A and B. How quickly A died, and fast it took B to turn on you. Everyone's forgotten what they've done."

A and B? Was he seriously thinking about them? Why?

L seemed to get it right away. Probably because he was L. "And you haven't."

Mello sat up. "Everyone has forgotten how easily it was for A to take his own life! Who's to say it won't happen again?! What if we lose another kid? Who do we blame?!" His behaviour began to get erratic now. Almost uncontrollable. "Why does god allow this to happen!? Is this some kind of game! A sick thrill for the 'all mighty god'! I just want to know why!"

L suddenly pulled Mello into a hug to calm him. He had begun to scream at this point which was causing attention around the orphanage. I closed our door so other kids wouldn't look in to see the raging blonde lose himself.

L didn't break the hug until Mello's heavy breathing calmed down a bit. I have to admit, seeing Mello go ballistic like that was refreshing to me. It meant that somewhere deep down he was still the same blonde that I had become friends with.

Mello finally spoke again. "It's just not fair. I begged god to kill me so many times… and he goes and does the opposite. It should have been me instead of A. I've wanted to be free of this world for so long… I… I just…"

He was sobbing now. All this time had gone by, and he still wanted to die. He had promised me that he wouldn't go through with it. Made a solemn vow… just for me. I instantly felt guilty for making him feel like this. Like it was an obligation for him to feel miserable just to make me feel just a bit happy.

L pulled him into another hug. "Mello, perhaps now would be the best time for you to seek help."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't hold this in like A did. That was a mistake he made because he lacked communication. Had I known beforehand what was going on with A, I would've done anything in my power to help him. B failed to realize this and so he blamed me. I carry that guilt with me wherever I go. And I don't think I'll be able to take the guilt of losing you. So I ask you, are you willing to seek help for this… turmoil?"

I finally crawled onto Mello's bed to join in on the hug. I didn't say anything, but I'm too sure that he got the message.

"Yes," he said quietly. "I'll accept help."

L hugged us both a bit tighter. "Good. I couldn't stand to lose you. To have someone you love like family die before your own time… It's a feeling no one should live with."

"Did you really care that much for A?" I asked.

L nodded. "And for B as well. Though… with what's happened…"

I gave him a look. "What do you mean?"

I suppose L caught himself. "It's nothing important." He let us go. "But you two should be outside or something. It's not good for kids your age to be inside all day. I believe you two are officially on holidays until January, yes? You should enjoy your time."

Mello and I nodded as L left the room. Before I was able to jump off the bed, Mello pulled me into another hug.

"I'm sorry, Matt. I know you said I shouldn't be thinking this way. But I just… I can't…"

I hugged him back. "Don't worry about it, Mel. Please, let's just go outside and play. We could throw snowballs at the older kids that called us fags yesterday. You know we're faster than them, plus L might join in later on if we ask."

Mello hopped out of bed excitedly. "Let's get to it then! I've been meaning to get back at those assholes since yesterday anyway."

Things were back to normal again. Well, for a while at least. I had Mello back for the most part, and things were finally looking up for us. The only thing I had to worry about now, was how fast J, S, and R could run after we threw snowball at them.