Can't fight this feeling Chapter 7, a grey's anatomy fanfic

A/N: Heya... here we are again... THANKS for our reviewers... we're really glad you still like what we're doing here and I hope, you continue with writing reviews and letting us know what you like and don't like about the story... the more people review, the more often we update ;-) Win/Win situation, huh? ;-)

Jackson Avery POV:

Jackson and Alex were making good time as they headed to the airport for their flight.

Jackson was regretting not having anything to eat now that he could feel his stomach grumbling. He really hated airport food and the thought of getting one of those humongous cinnamon rolls didn't sound appetizing.

"Dude, here" Alex said passing Jackson a granola bar he kept in his backpack. "I said you were going to regret missing breakfast"

"Thanks" Jackson said taking the offer and digging into it immediately. The two would be at the airport within 10 minutes and looking out of the window Jackson enjoyed the scenery of Miami.

"So," Alex asked "what was the name of that guy in your room this morning?"

Jackson coughed up the bits of granola he had been chewing when Alex made his remark.

"What are you talking about?"

"Hey, no judgement from me" Alex said "live and let live and all that"

Jackson had to admit he was kind of surprised by Alex's attitude. He thought the man would be the kind to get freaked out and want to distance himself.

Jackson shouldn't have assumed that and he felt terrible for putting Alex in such a narrow box.

"Was it that guy you were talking to last night?"

"His name is Tyler, we go way back" Jackson said. He didn't feel the need to lie and it was obvious Alex already knew most of the story anyway.

"Another plus for Miami, I see" Alex said with a laugh.

The cab had dropped them off and now Alex and Jackson were making their way to the terminal.

"Don't get offended or anything" Alex said as he pulled his luggage along "but I thought you and Sloan had a thing going on"

"What?" Jackson said, feeling his heart start to thump faster "Why?"

"I don't know" Alex told him "you two are basically inseparable and I noticed he looked at you the same way he used to look at Lexie"

"We're not-" Jackson tried to say "there's nothing there".

"But there was" Alex said "which is why you decided on Miami"

"When in the hell did you become so intuitive?" Jackson asked.

"Hey, it's not my fault you've been blind to my tremendous skills all these years"

Jackson laughed and as the two walked up to the counter to turn in their plane tickets Jackson patted the man on the shoulder.

"Thanks, man"

"Hey" Alex said "we'll be spending the foreseeable future together so I have to prove useful to you in some way".

Jackson was about to respond when the desk clerk interrupted them.

"Excuse me sir" the woman who's name tag read Britney said "I'm afraid we have a problem".

The problem was that the people who flew Jackson and Alex down had messed up the departure day. Instead of leaving today the ticket was for a plane scheduled to leave 11 a.m the following morning.

"No" Alex said as he looked at the ticket. Panic had risen in his voice "I need to be on this plane, is there any space available?"

"I'm sorry, sir" Britney said "it's completely booked"

"A later flight, perhaps?" Jackson asked. He had no idea why Alex was getting so stressed, but Jackson wanted to try and help.

"Not til morning" the woman said "I'm very sorry"

"Shit" Alex said as he turned away from the counter "I'm so fucked"

"What's the matter?" Jackson asked

"I was supposed to fly to Boise with Meredith, Derek, Cristina and Lexie to do a surgery on conjoined twins"

Jackson had remembered hearing something about that, but he had just assumed Arizona would go since she was the head of the Peds department.

"I have to call Robbins" Alex said "if she wasn't going to hate me for leaving she sure as hell is going to hate me now"

Jackson wanted to help and he really only knew one way how. If he couldn't get Alex on that plane the least he could do is try and mitigate the damage.

Pulling out his phone Jackson pulled up Mark's number and started a text.

Me and Alex are stuck in Miami for another day. Alex is freaking out and if you could do anything to help Arizona understand, it would be appreciated. I'll explain when we get back. We need to talk.

Jackson closed his phone and walked back over to Alex, but the man may have been too late. Alex was already on the phone apologizing, but if that was Arizona yelling on the other end then that was the last thing she wanted to hear.

Alex Karev POV:

Alex had went to Miami with a plan.

He would get the job at Miami General and once back in Seattle he would have talked to Arizona in person. Let her understand that this job was something he had to take.

Everything she had taught him would go with him and he would carve a place for himself in the medical world. The Boise surgery was going to be Alex's big send-off. A way to show his mentor that he knew his stuff and he was doing what was for the best.

That was completely shot to hell now. There would be no talking to Arizona calmly, there would be no surgery in Boise, and worst of all, there would be no way to gain back the woman's trust.

She was yelling at him on the phone. Alex had heard her angry before, but never with that hint of hurt under her voice.

"I'm sorry Robbins" Alex said as he started to sweat "I thought I would be home and-" he started to say before she cut him off.

Arizona told him how she had chosen Alex because she knew how great he could be. Underneath all of his bravado and hard shell Arizona saw the compassion the man had and to do this, to choose to go somewhere else without at least talking to her first hurt.

If it had been anybody else and at any other time Alex was sure he wouldn't have cared, but everything the woman was saying was true.

Arizona had given him a passion for Peds. She nurtured something in Alex that the man didn't even know he had.

"I can catch a flight to Boise" Alex said "I can meet up with everybody".

"Don't bother" Arizona said "enjoy Miami" and without another word she cut off the conversation.

This couldn't have gone worse if Alex tried.

"You okay, man?" Jackson asked cautiously. Alex was doing his best to fight back the emotions that threatened to spill over.

Sometimes he missed being the man he used to be.

"Fine" Alex said as he pushed the phone back in his pocket "nothing we can do now".

Looking at Jackson Alex knew the man didn't believe him for a second, but he also knew Jackson wouldn't push him.

"Let's just go back to the hotel" Alex said and headed back to baggage claim. He would go back to Seattle in the morning and take his lumps. Leave Seattle Grace the same way he had come in; disliked and ignored.

"I need a real breakfast" Jackson said "I'll buy us a round of those disgusting bloody marys you secretly like".

Alex managed a small genuine smile "I tolerate them Avery. There's a difference"

"Okay" Jackson responded with a laugh.

As Alex followed Jackson back outside to catch a cab he focused on the small silver lining he had.

He would leave Seattle Grace disliked and ignored, but at least he wouldn't leave there alone.

Arizona Robbins POV:

Arizona couldn't believe what she had just heard. Alex Karev would not only leave Seattle Grace Mercy West, he would also take Avery with him. Not that Arizona had much of a relationship to the latter one, but when Owen had told her this morning, she had laughed it off and told him, that this was a big misunderstanding. Until Alex had called her and confirmed everything, that is. And what hurt most was, that he didn't even tell it himself. That it needed Hunt. And one lousy call of Alex, telling her that he wasn't able to come in time to the surgery. She was asking herself if she had done anything wrong. Why did he want to leave? Wasn't she a good teacher?

"Is everything alright?" Callie asked her, gently rubbing her back.

She hadn't even noticed her wife behind her, until she had actually spoken and turned to her with pain in her eyes.

"I don't know..." She answered and literally flew into Callie's arms.

"Why is he doing this to me? Why is everybody leaving me?" She was feeling that she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. It was all just too much. First she had to deal with the loss of Nick and now she would lose the only student she really ever cared about. There were lots of other residents trying out peds in their career but neither of them had been like Alex. And she had seen it in his eyes from the moment she had met him. She had known that he was right for peds and since then she was shown a couple of times, that she had been right.

"Who, Karev?" Callie kept her on arm's lenght and touched her face.

Arizona nodded slowly.

Callie leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on her forhead. "You know what?" She said, gently stroking her cheeks. "It just shows how good of a teacher you have been. I mean, so many hospitals want him now... the best programs of the country want him, and it's all because of you. Because you're such a damn good mentor."

"I am?" Arizona aksed doubtfully. "Then why does he want to leave?"

Callie smiled. "Because that's what they do when they grow up. I know it hurts, honey, I really do, but it's the circle of life. I think he wants to stand on his own feet. He wants to know what he's capable of when you're not there to take care of him."

"I don't know about that. Maybe he's just annoyed by me and wants to get rid of me." Arizona sighed.

Callie shook her head.

"You're stupid... but that's why I love you. That's why everybody loves you." She hugged Arizona again and stroked her back. "It's gonna be fine, I promise you. I know it's hard to let him go, but it's also the right thing to do, because he needs this step to just be independent... and you never know... one day he might come back."

"Yes, maybe," Arizona replied, not really believing her words herself, but definitely feeling better now. Callie was always able to make her feel better and she was really thankful for that.

"I have the best wife in the world." She smiled when she let go of Callie.

Callie had a grin on her face after that. "I sure hope so."

Mark Sloan POV:

Mark was extremely glad and thankful to have a friend like Derek. He couldn't have a better one, and even though he had tried to kiss him last night, Derek was able to just forget about it and Mark was really glad to do so. He still didn't know what had gotten into him. yes, Derek and him shared a past, but it had been only one time, they had been really drunk and it had happened out of curiousity. Not because they were in love or anything else. Mark shouldn't have let the alcohol get the best of him, and he needed to find a way to deal with the loss of Jackson without always drinking.

"I think I'll head home and take a shower and get dressed and then we'll see at work," Mark said after a long time of silence and emptying his coffee cup.

"You could take a shower here and I could borrow you some clothes," Derek offered, but Mark shook his head.

"No, thank you! I don't like your clothes, and they won't fit me anyways," Mark grinned.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

Sympathetically, Mark patted Derek's shoulder. "They are old fashioned. Don't misunderstand me, they are so you, but..." He pulled at Derek's shirt softly. "But they are not me." He got up from the couch and turned to Derek. "Thanks for the coffee. And thanks for last night. You were my hero."

Derek smiled. "No Problem. That's what friends are for. And if Zola and Meredith wouldn't have spent the night at Cristina's, I probably wouldn't have been able to do anyting anyways, so you could say, you had a good timing."

Mark shrugged. "Yeah, guess so. See you later then."

"See you later," Derek replied and Mark made his way out of Derek's house, finding a taxi stand nearby.

He arrived home ten minutes later and the first thing he did was getting rid all of his clothes and entering the shower. After a long, hot and really relaxing shower, he tied a towel around his hip and left the bathroom only to hear his phone beep almost the same time. He let out a heavy sigh and moved to the livingroom where he had dumped his phone on the table.

He grabbed it and when he found out Jackson was the one who sent it, his heart beat faster. It took him a moment to open the message, only to let out a disappointed sigh afterwards.

Me and Alex are stuck in Miami for another day. Alex is freaking out and if you could do anything to help Arizona understand it would be appreciated. I'll explain when we get back. We need to talk.

Jackson needed his help and of course he wouldn't let him down like this, even though he wouldn't see Arizona for another hour or so. Still, he pressed the "Reply" button and started to write a message to Jackson.

Will do as soon as I can. Hope we'll see each other before I have to get to Boise. Hunt told me about your plans for Miami and I wish you the best of luck for it. I hope, you will be happy there. But I'd love to have a chance to at least say good-bye and let you leave on a good note. No matter what happened between us and how much I messed up: You're still my friend and you still mean a lot to me. Have a safe trip.

He pressed the "send" button and then he throw his phone back on the couch to get dressed. Jackson at least wanted to talk to him. That was a start, even though it most likely wouldn't change his moving plans, but maybe they could at least end up as friends before he would leave.

Jackson Avery POV:

It was a full moon as Jackson sat on his hotel room balcony and admired the view.

He and Alex had thought it best to stay in and avoid any further troubles come morning. Both men had ordered room service and watched one bad movie after another in Jackson's room.

Their budding friendship was unexpected for Jackson. The two had spent the first year after Jackson arrived at Seattle Grace being rivals. Neither was blind enough not to see that they were polar opposites.

Jackson had a privileged upbringing that made life and the road to Seattle easier then it would have been for most. Alex's childhood was damaged and filled with enough obstacles that made Alex's current position as a board certified surgeon even that much more impressive.

Jackson had to come to terms with his jealousy of the man. Every accomplishment that Alex had was celebrated whereas Jackson worked hard only to be overlooked time and time again.

He was an Avery and good was never good enough.

Over the years both men managed to put their differences aside and after one good ass kicking even managed to become friends.

As Alex's friend Jackson knew the man didn't talk about his problems, but always appreciated a good distraction.

Hence the food and bad movies.

As the last movie ended Jackson walked to the balcony to get some air. The breeze coming off the water was nice and it helped relieve his slight headache.

"I'm going to my room to crash, dude" Alex said as he stood in the door frame "I'm exhausted"

"You sure?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah, besides we need to get up early anyway"

"Okay" Jackson said "I'll catch you in the morning"

"See ya then" Alex responded and grabbed his shoes as he made his way to his own bed.

Jackson went back to admiring the view when he heard his cell ring.

Walking over to his night stand he picked it up and looked at the name.

Mark

Jackson's stomach suddenly felt nervous and he contemplated ignoring it altogether.

He couldn't do that, though.

Jackson had just asked him for a favor that morning and to give into his own fears now would not only make him a coward, but also an asshole.

"Mark?" Jackson asked as he held the phone up to his ear.

He got a split second of silence before he heard the man speak up.

"Yeah, it's me" the older man said.

Jackson wanted to keep it short. He didn't trust himself to remain calm and rational if he and Mark got into anything more then the favor for Alex.

"How's Arizona?" Jackson asked "Alex is pretty down in the dumps"

Mark had seemed terse and maybe a bit angry.

"She's fine" Mark said "we're about to board the plane in a couple minutes"

"You're going too?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah" Mark said "Derek asked me this morning, he thought I could use the distraction"

"You told him?" Jackson asked.

"He's my best friend" Mark said calmly "and I kind of unleashed on him last night"

Jackson suddenly felt exposed and uneasy. He knew Derek wouldn't tell anyone, but just the thought of somebody knowing what happened between him and Mark made him nervous.

"I'll talk to you when we get back to Seattle" Jackson said and was about to hang up before he heard Mark ask him to stay on.

"We need to talk" Mark said "a real conversation"

"I can't right now" Jackson said "not over the phone like this"

Jackson knew he was being dodgy and he could hear the frustration in Mark's voice. He had to commend the man for being patient, but the hurt from that night was still too strong for Jackson.

"Julia isn't pregnant" Mark said.

Jackson was surprised by the small relief he felt in his chest.

"It doesn't change what happened Mark"

"Please just have a conversation with me" Mark pleaded "that's all I want"

Jackson had to sit down as he felt the full range of this phone call take effect.

"I have to go Mark" Jackson said "I'll see you back in Seattle"

"Jack-" Mark started to say before Jackson ended the call. Laying back on the bed Jackson threw an arm over his eyes to block out the light.

Jackson had no idea what to do and the thought of going back to Seattle and seeing Mark scared him. It would be so much easier if he hated the man, but Jackson didn't.

He was angry and hurt, but he knew there was something else there that made Jackson's first meeting with Mark back in Seattle terrifying.

Jackson already knew he was going to forgive Mark eventually and he wasn't sure he liked knowing that fact.

Mark Sloan POV:

Mark stared at his mobile phone, feeling still hurt and disappointed. So that was it? It was over now? Jackson didn't even want to talk to him anymore. Not even over the phone. How could he ever be able to talk to him in person again, if Jackson even denied him that? If he denied him like 2 minutes? And Jackson had said it all: the fact that Julia wasn't pregnant didn't change the fact that he hadn't told him about the possibility before he slept with him. It was one stupid mistake and now he had to pay for it.

"Hey... are you ready?" Derek's voice came from behind him and he turned around, putting his phone in his pants.

"Yes, sure... why wouldn't I?" Mark asked, shrugging.

Derek patted his shoulder. "Because you don't look ready. And you most definitely don't look happy. Are you sure you wanna come? I mean, I can ask someone else if you..." he started, but Mark cut him off mid-sentence.

"I'm good. And I'm the best plastic surgeon there is... you need me." A smug grin appeared on his lips, even though he didn't really feel like grinning, but putting up a wall to shield his feelings was his way of dealing with it.

"Don't flatter yourself. You're not this invaluable, even if you think so," Derek replied.

Mark smiled at him. "Yes, I am, and you know it."

Together with his best friend he left the hospital building to get to the bus that would bring them to the airport. They were the last to get on. Everyone else was already sitting and waiting, and when they entered the bus, it started rolling immediately.

They would travel by some kind of privat jet Boise had provided so they could be back with their families as soon as the surgery was over, which would most likely take a couple of hours and Mark was thankful for this kind of distraction.

It took them about half an hour to get to the airport and their plane was already waiting for them, so they could go on board immediately. The pilot introduced himself as Jerry and wished them a pleasant flight after he asked them to fasten their seatbelts.

A few minutes later the plane started to roll and shortly afterwards they were up in the air. Mark looked out of the window, sighing. All he could think about was Jackson, and he couldn't do anything against it. He didn't even want to think about him so much, but Jackson was on his mind all of the time.

He didn't even know how much time had passed, when all of a sudden he felt the plane rumble. At first he thought it would only be turbulences, like they tend to happen a lot on flights, but with every second it got worse.

He shot Derek a glance, who shrugged, and watched Meredith clinging to her husband.

He turned his head to look at Cristina who seemed slightly unsettled as well and Lexie was obviously trying not to scream. He thought about getting up and sitting next to her to calm her down, but it got worse and worse and then the oxygen masks fell down and Mark simply knew, that something was going to happen. ALso, the plane was sinking rapidely and it got faster and faster. Maybe the plane was crashing, and if so, the chance of surviving was almost zero. Not many people had ever survived a plane crash.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes. If he would die right now, he at least wanted Jackson to know how much he cared for him, so he took out his mobile phone and started to write a message to him, while his fingers were trembling.

Hey Jackson. I'm sorry to bother you, but this is important. Something is very wrong with the plane and we might crash and I might die. This is no joke and if I die, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong, that it was all on me and for that I'm sorry. I wish I had been honest to you, so we could have had the time to be together, but I destroyed everything. I'm in love with you, Jackson, and every thought of you makes my heart beat faster. Those feelings scared me, and so I messed it all up. But no matter what happens, you will always be in my thoughts, even if I die. I hope, you'll live the life you want and deserve. Be happy, Jackson. Love, Mark

He hit the "send" button and just prayed to god that his Message would reach Jackson, so Jackson would know he wasn't mad at him and how important he was for Mark.

Slowly he closed his eyes, clinging to his seat and feeling a sharp air draft. He heard screams and he felt a dull pain in his whole body before everything went black.

Jackson Avery POV:

Their flight back to Seattle was earlier then the one on the previous was still finishing the last of his orange juice as he and Alex walked into the airport and headed for baggage.

Both men were nervous and trying to hide it would only make both look like idiots.

"How mad do you think she's going to be?" Alex asked Jackson "I mean she was really angry yesterday"

"I'm sure Arizona has calmed down by now" Jackson told him "I mean she's in the middle of a newsworthy surgery. I'm sure her anger has dissipated"

Alex nodded his head as if trying to make himself believe what Jackson saying was true.

"You and Sloan, though?" Alex asked "Any progress on that?"

Jackson shrugged his shoulders "There was a conversation last night, but I think it's better if we talk once we're back in Seattle".

"We're going to have two weeks left there, Avery" Alex said "Try to make it worth it"

Reaching the check-in counter Alex placed his and Jackson's tickets on the counter and although he had checked the date and times ad naseum a small part of him still expected the woman to turn them away.

A few strokes on the key board and a moment of concentration and the woman looked at both men with a smile.

"Have a good flight, gentlemen" she said and handed back the tickets. Jackson had let out a breath he wasn't even aware he was holding. He was actually looking forward to getting back to Seattle.

The thought of checking his messages before getting on the plane crossed Jackson's mind as he and Alex prepared to board.

"Go on ahead" Jackson told Alex "I'll catch up with you in a minute"

With a nod Alex headed towards the boarding terminal. Opening his phone Jackson saw that he had two messages. One from Mark and one from April.

Jackson wondered if somebody had let her know of Jackson's decision to leave. After their heartfelt conversation he really didn't want to have her be disappointed in him.

It was probably best to check Mark's first.

Jackson stood stunned in the middle of the airport. In the 10 seconds it took to read the message the man felt like somebody had taken the entire world and turned it inside out.

"Alex" Jackson said,but his voice came out barely a whisper. The man was about to enter the walk through tunnel.

"Alex!" Jackson yelled and it grabbed the man's attention, as well as everybody in the immediate vicinity.

Rushing over Alex looked at Jackson "What the hell?"

"Mark" Jackson said "the plane"

"What are you talking about?"

Going into his voice mail Jackson managed to find April's message and he felt his eyes already starting to mist with tears.

"Jackson, I don't know what going on, but Hunt is saying that the plane to Boise is missing. They don't know what happened, but it looks really bad. Call me,please"

Looking at Alex Jackson saw the man's face looked how he felt. Lost, confused, and frightened.

"Call her back" Alex said as he pulled out his own phone.

15 minutes and numerous phone calls later and not one person picked up. They had tried April, Hunt, Torres, Bailey and Teddy. At their most desperate they had called the admittance desk and were only forwarded to Hunt's voice mail.

"What's going on?" Jackson said and he heard his voice break.

It was a hopeless task, but giving it a shot anyway Jackson dialed Mark's cell and listened to it ring and ring.

"This is Mark, leave a message at the beep"

"I'm so sorry Mark" Jackson said into the phone "I should have listened, please be okay. I need you"

-Last call for flight 216 Miami to Seattle-

The intercom let Alex and Jackson know that they had to leave.

"If she's dead because of me Avery" Alex said and Jackson could see the phone shaking in Alex's hand "If she's dead because I wasn't there-"

"Don't talk like that" Jackson said as he grabbed Alex and looked at him straight in the eye.

"She's fine" he said to Alex "they'll all be fine" then wrapping an arm around Alex's shoulder he walked with the man to the loading terminal.

This 5 and a half hour flight was going to be the longest and most awful of their lives.

Mark Sloan POV:

When Mark woke up, the first thing he heard were noises, and then he felt pain. A lot of pain. In his chest, in his head, in his stomach. It all hurt, but the first thought that crossed his mind was: I'm alive. He didn't know how and why, but he obviously survived the crash. And he was laying somewhere on the ground. It took him a moment to open his eyes and notice, that it was already day. At least that's what he thought, because the sun was shining through the trees. Yes, trees. He was obviously in a wood.

Slowly, he sat up and took a few breathes, and each and every single one of it hurt, but he tried to ignore it. There was still screaming and when he looked around he saw Arizona. She was laying on the ground as well and it was her that was shouting. Obviously because she was in pain as well.

When he let his eyes wander, he also saw Cristina and Meredith, and even though it took a lot of him, he got to his feet and moved closer to them, looking around once more. Cristina was babbling something about her shoe that was missing and then she screamed at Arizona to shut up. Which obviously worked, because seconds later she silenced, and then there was a knocking sound. Who was missing?

"Where is Derek?" Meredith shouted and Mark swallowed hard. Derek. Derek was no where to be seen. Maybe he was dead. Mark didn't even want to think about this possibility, but they were in a plane crash and that they were alive was a miracle already. Maybe Derek was gone. Maybe he didn't survive the crash.

Then there was a thumping sound all of sudden, and even though every step hurt like crazy, Mark moved towards Cristina and Meredith, because together they maybe could find Derek. And Lexie. Lexie was missing, too. Lexie. Oh my god. She shouldn't even have been on that plane. She was only there to support Meredith and Derek. And partly maybe even him. She shouldn't even have been here.

"Where does that sound coming from?", Meredith asked and they all started to listen, but Mark's head was spinning, so he couldn't really concentrate. It just hurt so much, but he had to be strong. He was sure, they were already searching for them. They were on their way and they would find them and save them. They only had to wait a little longer. Someone must have already noticed that they were gone, and they sent someone out. That was the hope, Mark was clinging to right now.

"There... it came from over there," Arizona said out loud and pointed to a direction. The thumping sounded like someone was knocking on metal. Someone over there was obviously alive, either Derek or Lexie and they had to get there.

When they got closer, Mark could see a hand reach out underneath a plane part. A female hand.

"LEXIE!" he screamed and almost stumbled over his own feet when he got closer.

Mark was the first one by her side and the first thing he did was being a doctor. Checking her pulse, and breath, and noticing how weak it was. And so sounded her voice. She was stuck underneath this plane part and god knows what would happen if they lifted it up to get her out. She could die immediately. And god knows what would be undernath. It definitely wouldn't be pretty.

"How is she?" Merdith asked concerned.

"She's awake and responsive," Mark replied, trying not to worry her any more than she already was.

"How you're doing in there?" Mark turned to Lexie.

"I'm... I'm great," Lexie replied, obviously having big problems to breath.

"Good girl," Mark said. "We will get you out of here, okay?" They just had to get her out, or the weight of the plane would crush her body completely. She needed to get out of here.

"Okay," Lexie answered and tried to smile, but Mark knew it looked bad. Really bad.

"She's strecto-cardic and short of breath," Mark informed Cristina and Meredith, once he got out from under where Lexie was laying.

"We have to find Derek," Meredith gave back and Cristina told her that she and Mark had it under control and that she should go find him. But Mark doubted the two of them could really achieve something. Still, he didn't say anything. If there was any chance Derek might still be alive, Meredith was the one that should find him.

"We gotta get her out of here," Mark said once he was alone with Cristina, but Cristina just shook her head in disbelief. The same disbelief he felt inside of him, but then she got herself together.

"Popp it back in," she said, because her shoulder was dislocated completely, and Mark did. She was still in a lot of pain afterwards, but at least it helped a little bit.

Together with Cristina he tried to lift the heavy plane part off of Lexie, but no matter how many times they tried, it didn't work, so they gave up. When they knelt down, Mark could see, that the life once was so present in Lexie was slowly leaving her. She got weaker with every second. She told them that her pelvis and her legs were crushed and that she couldn't even feel them anymore. And that her chest felt like it was going to explode. Her breathing got more and more strained and it broke Mark's heart. He didn't want to lose her. Not like this. Not now. He had survived, and little Grey had to survive as well. He wouldn't forgive himself for letting her die like that. For giving up on her.

Mark's whole body was shivering when Cristina looked at him, like she had already given up and his voice was shaking. He asked her, begged her to bring fluids for Lexie and try to keep her stabile, but the doctor within him knew, that it would be too late once she came back. And that Lexie only had minutes left to live. An hour at most. And he couldn't deal with it.

When Lexie literally begged him to hold her hand, he denied it. He just couldn't. He couldn't watch her die. Once more he tried to get her out of that fucking plane part, but he couldn't. He just couldn't, and his own pain grew stronger with every passing minute. So he layed down next to her underneath the wreck and took her hand, listening to her voice telling him that she loved him and that she always had. And he just couldn't NOT say it back. He couldn't let her die with a broken heart.

"I love you, too," he replied, but Lexie shook her head.

"You don't have to say you love me just because I'm dying," Lexie replied.

Mark swallowed. "I'm not, and you're not dying."

"Yes, I am... and yes, you are. You... you don't love me anymore... you... you love him," she said, and it was visible how hard every word was for her.

"What are you talking about?" Mark asked.

A small smile appeared on Lexie's face. "Jackson. You love... him..."

Mark wanted to disagree, but Lexie cut him off right before he could say something. "Don't fight with a dying woman. I've seen the way you look... at each... other... and if I did anything... right, it was... bringing you two... together... I loved you...both... so much, and I will... always... love you, Mark... you were the love... of my life... but I... I want you to be happy again... fight for... him..." Lexie got weaker and weaker and her face got more and more pale with every passing second.

"Don't talk like you're dying," he begged. Tears were glistening in his eyes.

"But I am... and you have to let... me go... I will be... okay... I promise. Tell Meredith, I love her... and that... she was a good sister." she whispered.

Mark nodded, and then Lexie closed her eyes. "Be happy, Mark."

And with those words her breathing stopped and her hand, that was stll in Mark's, went limb. She was dead. Tears were running down Mark's face and he let out a painful cry. Lexie was dead. The woman he once loved so much and who he thought he would marry one day died on him. Just like that.

When Meredith and Cristina came back, he told them and he didn't let go of Lexie's hand for one second, still sitting there with her and listening to Meredith's cries. The pain in his chest got worse with every minute and he knew that his injuries were really bad as well. He almost couldn't breath anymore, and a consuming blackness started to embrace him. A welcoming darkness. Maybe it was for the best if he died, too. Jackson would be so much happier without him. He messed him up and he didn't want to do this to him any longer. If he just closed his eyes he would be with Lexie again soon. And so Mark did.