Since my cousin won't let me play Trickster Online in peace, here's more of…

Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Seven, Part Two: Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition
By Kaori

"I know I'm going to regret asking," Sakura scowled. "but why are we in the men's room?"

"This is the fastest way to get where we're going." Naruto replied leer was still plastered on his face. "By the way, could you both stand in that stall over there?"

"Why?" Sasuke asked warily.

"Oh, so you want to be left behind?" the blonde asked. Sakura hit him. "OW! What was that for?"

"Don't answer a question with another question!"

Naruto rubbed his head. He had half a mind (which is twice as much mind as his teammates give him credit for having) to leave them both where they were and just go to the picnic by himself. However, considering that he's deprived for company most of the time and the fact that he's going to enjoy the looks on both his teammates' faces when they arrive, he decided that the benefits far outweighed his current displeasure.

That didn't mean he was going to be nice about it though. Moving with the swiftness of a deer he got behind his teammates and roughly shoved them where he needed them to be: inside a toilet stall with "Out of Order" sign on it.

"HEY!" Sakura protested.

"Narutooo..." Sasuke growled.

Naruto paid them no mind, jumping over them to stand on the toilet tank.

"Going down!" he said cheerfully, pulling that chain that would normally flush the toilet. Instead, the floor underneath Sasuke and Sakura disappeared and they were both sent plummeting into a dark hole screaming and cursing. Naruto jumped in after them, hoping they had the good sense to get out of the way when they reached the bottom.

Judging him solely by appearance, Akaishi Kitadake (1) is a respectable, sensible old man who likes cats and hard candy, and kind of looks like everyone's grandpa. Once you get to know him however, you realize that he is a perverted maniac who should have blown himself up years ago but somehow remains in once piece and un-singed. It doesn't help that his two assistants are just as enthusiastic about their work as he is.

Kubuki Yari and Myoko (1) are identical twins who share the love of all things explosive, torturing people, and not much else. Both have crimson hair and green eyes however, Yari wears hers in a bob while Myoko's is so long it almost touches the floor when it's in its perpetual ponytail.

While Myoko enjoys the rather revealing outfit their mentor makes them wear (a bikini top, miniskirt, knee-high boots, and a lab coat. The higher ups allow this sexual harassment because it is best not to upset crazy old men who can blow you to kingdom come), Yari is perpetually embarrassed by it and keeps her lab coat buttoned at all times.

Hearing the ruckus approaching his domain, Kitadake quickly removed the more lethal projects away from the exit area before calling for his assistants.

"Yari , Myoko! Stop playing with the exploding ketchup packets and make yourselves presentable! We're about to have visitors!"

"WAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH" KERASH! Sasuke and Sakura landed in an undignified heap. Kitadake and the twins (standing on either side of their mentor) held up score signs: 4 (Myoko), 5.5 (Kitadake), 3 (Yari). A few seconds later, Naruto did a gymnast landing on his unlucky teammates. Again the score cards: 9 (Myoko), 8.5 (Kitadake), 10 (Yari).

"Well, well if it isn't my favourite guest!" grinned Kitadake. "And I see you've brought some friends with you."

Sasuke and Sakura shoved Naruto off of them and kicked him in the head.

"We're not exactly friends..." mumbled Naruto, rubbing his head.

"Oh, they're your sex slaves then." Kitadake nodded sagely, Sasuke and Sakura gaped at him, Naruto suppressed a snicker. "You are growing up to be a fine young man..." he jumped to the side to avoid getting kicked by Uchiha and Haruno. "although you should keep your pets on a leash." This time he had to dodge a few kunai. "I could probably give you a good deal on those, and a I'll even throw in a ball-gag for the girl." Naruto couldn't hold his laughter in any more.

"DIE!" chorused the other two members of Team 7 dashing towards the perverted old man to beat him to a bloody pulp only to be tasered by the twins. Naruto howled with laughter.

"Ah well, funs over." Shrugged Kitadake. "What brings you down here, Naruto?"

The orange-clad one, once he'd regained control of himself, explained the situation to the old man while Myoko and Yari poked Sakura and Sasuke with cattle prods.

"So, the company picnic is being held at the Goldenrod Hotel..." hummed the weapons researcher, stroking his Fu Manchu. Naruto nodded. "Of course, you must have realized that it is right in the middle of pirate territory so you came to me to get properly outfitted."

"Exactly! So what have you got for me?" the blonde had that scary grin on his face again.

"Ah, well..." leered the old man, looking towards his two assistants who weren't paying attention to the conversation at all, content to shock the bejeezus out of Sakura and Sasuke. "Oi, enough girls! Enough!" The twins pouted, but ceased their "fun". "Bring out the merchandise!"

"Hai!" cheered Myoko, bouncing off while her sister followed her at a more sedate pace.

"What is this place?" murmured Sakura, slowly recovering her wits (and motor functions).

"Oh? Didn't I mention it?" Sasuke and Sakura managed to shake their heads. "Well then, allow me to welcome you to Konoha Ninja Burger's Weapon Research and Development Division!"

I bet you guys are sick of cliffhangers aren't you? Well too bad, I enjoy making you guys squirm!

1) I named these three characters after mountains in Japan. Mount Kitadake in the Akaishi range, and Mounts Yari and Myoko in the Kubuki range.