A/N: Heya... here we are again... with Chapter 11... a few more reviews would be nice, though... we wanna know what you like about our story and what you don't like... :-) It would definitely cheer us on if there would be a couple more readers telling us their opinion... And the more people review, the more often we can update our story, since we have planned a lot for „our guys"... and girls for that matter... :-)
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And now have fun with Chapter 11 :-)
Jackson Avery POV:
When Jackson had forced his way into the bathroom and saw Mark sitting against the wall in tears it had unnerved him.
He had never seen Mark like this, so sad and broken that Jackson felt his own waves of sadness flow through him. When he held the older man he could feel the sobs rack his body and Jackson wanted more then anything to wipe the man free of all of this pain.
Sitting down across from Mark Jackson engulfed Mark's hands within his own.
"You're so young... you're so beautiful... you could have everyone you want. The ladies, and the guys would line up for you. Seriously, Jackson. Why me? I'm not worth it"
Jackson sighed and began to gently massage Mark's hands.
"Don't ever talk like that" Jackson said firmly "you're worth everything and more and if I really wanted to be with somebody else I would be, Mark"
Looking at Mark he couldn't even imagine what the man was going through. He had been through so much, more then one man should ever possibly have to and now he had one more thing to deal with.
"I don't think you know what you've done for me Mark" Jackson began "You're the first person to ever really believe in me. I've spent a life being tolerated and dismissed because most people assume I'm only skating by on my name and face"
Mark was looking at him at Jackson could see he had the man's full attention.
"I liked Cardio" Jackson said "I was good at it, but after the shooting I was drowning and one mistake after another left me as nothing but a pretty boy who was out of his depth. Do you know how embarrassing it is to overhear the head of Cardio talk about your short comings to the head of Peds while a colleague is standing beside you? It made me desperate and I used my looks to my own advantage. Flirted my way into a surgery I was denied and threw away every last bit of dignity I had."
"When did this happen?" Mark asked and he sounded increasingly furious.
"It's not important" Jackson said "the point is the day came when I was put on your service and I found something that made me feel like I hadn't made the wrong choice in pursuing medicine. I admit it was kind of a rocky start, but as time went on we found a groove"
"You're talented, Jackson" Mark said.
"It's only because of you" Jackson told him "you didn't let me get by on looks and charm, despite it being one of your qualifications and you believed that I could be a great surgeon one day. Then on top of that you somehow managed to love me. You changed me Mark Sloan, in all the best ways possible, so while I could go and find somebody to sleep with for a night and be gone by the morning I have no desire to ever do that again"
"Jackson" Mark started "I need to be able to love you in all ways possible and if I can't make love to you how can this be a full relationship?"
"I don't love you for your dick, Mark" Jackson said "don't get me wrong, it's a nice dick and I do love it, but it's not why I love you" Jackson's statement made Mark smile, the first genuine smile since the two had been in the bathroom.
"We will go to Dr. Lee and find out what's wrong and then we will fix this" Jackson said as he kissed Mark's hand "I promise you"
"It's more then that, Jackson" Mark said "I won't be able to perform surgery for at least another two months, and that's not even including if I have to go through surgery to fix my hands. That's going to be another four months and as much as Owen would understand, to the board I become a liability and a financial burden. People don't pay doctors to not perform"
"You were in a plane crash" Jackson said "none of this is your fault"
"I know, Jackson" Mark told him "but that means the board will force me into an early retirement and I can't be done when I'm still in my 40's"
"That won't happen" Jackson said "I won't let it and if they try then fuck them, we'll go to another hospital and make that the best Plastic Surgery program in the country."
The tension had washed away between the two and Jackson felt like the two were once again on a good path.
Standing up Jackson pulled Mark up and wrapped his arms around his waist.
"Now I do believe we were in the middle of something" Jackson said.
"Jackson, I can't-" Mark started before Jackson cut him off.
"Let me make you feel good" Jackson told him "I can do things that can make you feel so amazing that your hands will be the very last thing on your mind" he leaned up and once again bit Mark's earlobe and got the same arousing moan of approval.
Opening the door Jackson lead Mark to his bed and laid him down once again before getting back on top of him.
"We can do anything you like" Jackson said as he kissed Mark "all you have to do is ask."
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark looked up at Jackson and he couldn't believe how lucky he was. He had had a total mental breakdown, but instead of Jackson running away and turning his back on him, he had stayed to be there for him. He had held him and comforted him and had said all the things that made Mark feel better. This was so not how it was supposed to be between them. He never wanted to be the 'weak one', the one to be taken care of, and now he was. And it scared the shit out of him. But Jackson had been so sweet. So understanding. So absolutely awesome. And Mark was his. And he was Mark's.
He lifted his hand and touched Jackson's face and just looked at him for a couple of seconds.
"I don't even know how I deserve you, Jackson. But I'm happy. And I consider myself very lucky to have you by my side."
He leaned up to catch Jackson's lips again and started kissing him slowly, before letting go again and leaning his forehead against Jackson's. "I love you so much." He felt like he hadn't said it often enough, especially after Jackson had said it what felt like a hundred times since he started breaking down under the pressure he was giving himself.
"I know," Jackson replied. "And I hope, you know now, that I won't leave you. Especially not for such stupid reasons as that." Demonstratively he grabbed Mark's hands and just held them. "You're more than just your hands. Or your cock, as much as I love both of it. And there are two people in a relationship. Tonight I wanna be the one to make you feel good."
Mark had always been very caring when it came to sex. He had always taken good care of his partners, whether it had been one-night-stands or relationships. That was the reason everyone was talking so high about him sex-wise. He had always put his women's needs first, and he had never regretted it one second, because he always got what he wanted as well. So it was kind of new for him to be on the other end. To be the one who just enjoyed.
"I'm... I'm not... not used to that," Mark admitted, sitting up so Jackson was on his lap. He put his arms around Jackson's waist and started nibbling at Jackson's lower lip.
"To what?" Jackson whispered in his ear. "Being loved?"
A smile crossed Mark's lips. "That too. But I meant the whole you taking care of me thing. Normally I'm the one to take care. Not only in bed."
"That's why it should be the other way round just once. Tell me what you need and I'm gonna give you everything I can. I'm gonna make you feel my love," Jackson replied, putting a hand on Mark's chest and guiding him down once again, before he got up and looked at Mark, who felt slightly confused. Why was Jackson not all over him right now?
Only a mere seconds later he got his answer when Jackson slowly started unbuttoning his shirt. "Watch me," Mark heard him say and felt his mouth go dry. There wasn't any music or anything at all, but Jackson looked so fucking sexy with his hands slowly moving down and opening his shirt, baring more and more of his beautiful body.
Mark turned around to have a better angle to look at him and licked his lips.
"More?" Jackson asked hoarsely when his shirt was open and hang losely on his shoulders and Mark just nodded. So he let the piece of cotton slide down his shoulders and to the floor, before his hands moved over his chest and nipples, and then his stomach to his jeans. And god, Mark wanted to jump him right there, right this moment, but he knew if he would be patient, it would be so worth it.
He watched Jackson undoing his belt and pulling it out of his jeans and letting it fall on the floor either, and then his hands were on his jeans button and on his zipper, and when he pushed it down, Mark could see that Jackson already started to get aroused again and when he looked between his own legs: so did he. Little Sloan demanded attention and the bulge in his pants was visible already.
"You like that, don't you?" Jackson asked and moved closer to the bed to lead down and look into Mark's eyes. "I told you, you won't regret it, if you just let me handle it. You." His lips brushed over Mark's and then Mark could feel Jackson taking one of his hands in his. In the first moment he wanted to pull back, but he didn't. Instead he let Jackson place it on his still in his shorts covered cock. "Do you feel that? It's hard just for you. You are doing this to me. You and no one else."
While Mark was slowly starting to touch Jackson's cock through the fabric of his shorts, Jackson was already pushing down his jeans and kicking it off his feet once it was at his ankles. "What do you wanna do?" he asked Mark softly, obviously feeling the tension and feeling how insecure Mark was right now. A feeling he didn't really know when it came to sex, and it definitely was the first time Mark did not know what to do next.
"I... I..." he stammered, trying to compose himself. "I wanna touch you... and lick you... and swallow you... and I wanna have you thrust in my mouth."
When he looked up, he saw Jackson swallowing hard and could feel Jackson stroking his hair. "If that's what you really want, I won't keep you."
Mark nodded and when he moved his hands to the waistband of Jackson's shorts, they started trembling again and he was about to freak out again, but then Jackson's hands were over his, slowly guiding him. "It's all gonna be okay, Babe." he heard Jackson whisper and it was the first time Jackson ever called him babe. And even though Mark didn't understand why, it felt good. He felt secure. Safe and secure.
Together with Mark Jackson shoved down his shorts and Mark watched him kicking it off, before he looked up again. "Are you sure?" Jackson asked, and Mark smiled up at him. "I am sure." He placed his hands on Jackson's buttcheeks and leaned forward to brush his lips over the tip of Jackson's cock, causing him to let out a moan, before he opened his mouth and swallowed him down as far as he could.
One of Jackson's hands entangled in his hair and he started moving his head up and down, already tasting the first drops of pre-cum. Also, it felt like Jackson's cock got even harder and bigger while Mark was sucking him off and it felt incredible. He had done this only once, and that was years ago. Decades even. But from the sounds he was making, he wasn't all too bad.
He could feel that Jackson was still hesitant and didn't completely let go, but when his tongue started playing with Jackson's sensitive glans, it seemed like he broke Jackson's reluctance. Jackson grabbed Mark's head and held it in place while he was starting to let his cock slide into Mark's mouth, deeper every time he did so. Mark didn't even have problems with his gag-reflex, because it just turned him on so much that he made Jackson feel so good, that everything else wasn't important anymore. He was so completely concentrated on him, that he didn't even notice that the trembling of his hands had stopped completely, and when he did, he felt relieve wash over him.
All of a sudden, Jackson stopped his movements and took a step back. "Oh God," he blurted out and his chest was moving up and down under his heavy breathes.
"Are you okay?" Mark asked.
Jackson smiled immediately. "More than okay. I just don't want it to be over just yet," he explained. "Now it's your turn." He moved towards the bed, towards Mark again and got to his knees.
"First, I'm gonna undress you," he stated and opened Mark's pants, waiting for Mark to lift himself up just enough, so he could pull his pants down. His shorts followed only seconds afterwards. He made Mark lay down on his back and crawled on the bed next to him, turning to face him. "Then I'm gonna touch you, and kiss you, and make you feel how beautiful you are to me."
Mark felt Jackson's lips on his and responded to the kiss feverishly while one of Jackson's hands grabbed his cock and started massaging it, making Mark moan out loud. He felt so sensitive, more than he had felt in a long time, and every touch of Jackson set his whole body on fire. He trusted him with all of his heart, and this... was just not enough, Mark realized. And he didn't want to come like this. So he stopped Jackson's movements by grabbing his wrist and looking at him.
"You said we would do anything I like, right? I just have to ask."
Jackson looked him deep in the eye. "Of course. Yes. What is it, Mark? What do you wanna do?"
"I want... I want you to sleep with me. I want to feel you inside of me. And I want to come with you inside of me." He bit his lower lip. "Just... just take it slow," he stammered, feeling slightly embarrassed. "It's been long, since... I've done this," he said, but what he meant was, that he had never done it like that. When Derek and he had slept together, he had been the one to fuck Derek, and since he hadn't done it afterwards with any other guy, well... but he was way too ashamed to admit that. He was afraid Jackson would laugh at him or not understand it. Or that he just didn't want to do it like that if he knew Mark was kind of a virgin. Even though it sounded totally stupid. The sex-god of the hospital, McSteamy, never having done something like that. Yeah, even the thought of it was embarassing.
Jackson Avery POV:
Mark could make Jackson come apart at the seams. Jackson wasn't a virgin by any stretch of the imagination and he wouldn't lie and say he had never had some out of this world sex partners, but Mark? Mark ignited something in Jackson that made him want to lay claim to every part of the man's body.
The feeling of the warm wetness as Mark engulfed him made fireworks go off in his brain. Bless this man and his ability to give Jackson one of the best blowjobs he had ever had. When Mark's tongue slid up the underside of Jackson's cock it was almost too much for the man to take and he had to pull him off.
It was going to be over before the good part really got going. He was massaging Mark's cock when the man had first brought it up. Jackson had to admit he imagined Mark as an aggressor. Much more keen to the power plays and topping just because it required so much more active participation.
Rolling on top of the man Jackson looked down at him and smiled. He wasn't going to pretend the idea didn't intrigue him. To be inside Mark and feel all that nice warmness wrap around his manhood got Jackson hard just at the thought.
"Are you sure?" Jackson asked. He didn't want Mark doing this just because he felt obligated to take one for the team.
"I want this Jackson" Mark told him "I want you."
It had been all the convincing Jackson needed. Sliding his body against Mark Jackson buried his face in the man's neck.
"I'm going to make this so good for you" Jackson said as he rubbed his cock against Mark's "so good."
Jackson started by giving light kisses to the man's collarbone. Each kiss was a claim by Jackson. Something that told the world Mark Sloan was his and Jackson didn't share.
From the collar bone Jackson left a trail of kisses down the man's chest and made sure to give a quick kiss to each pectoral muscle and nipple before trailing his tongue down the man's abdomen until he reached Mark's treasure trail and stopped just before he reached the man's groin.
Looking up at Mark Jackson gave him a sly smile and then traced his tongue around the head of Mark's penis. The older man bucked instinctively. Jackson took that as a very good sign. He then licked his way down one side of the flesh before traveling back up on the other side.
"You like that?" Jackson asked and all he got was a groan and a plea for the man to continue and Jackson did without hesitation. In one fell swoop Jackson took the whole of Mark into his mouth and Mark once again bucked and buried his face into the pillow beside him.
"Fuck" Mark exclaimed.
Moving his head up and down the shaft Jackson kept a firm grip on Mark's hips and with each thrust Jackson felt Mark's cock get harder and more firm. The salty taste of pre-cum dotted Jackson's tongue and it only spurred him on more.
Reaching his hand up Jackson traced Mark's lips with his fingers and without a second thought Mark pulled it into his mouth.
After a few moments Jackson pulled his hand back,still moving his mouth up and down's Mark's shaft and with as much gentleness as he could display Jackson's finger found Mark's opening and he started pushing his finger in.
Mark was tight. Tighter then Jackson thought the man might be and calmly extracting his mouth from around Mark he looked up at the man.
"Mark" he asked quietly "this...this isn't the first time you've done this is it?"
Jackson was by no means an expert, but he remembered the few times he had done it with his ex-boyfriend and once the initial ring was broken it felt...different. Looser perhaps and Mark felt just as tight as Jackson remembered Taylor's first time.
Looking at Mark Jackson saw the fear and shame across his face.
"I'm so damn pathetic" Mark said as he swung an arm over his eyes "42 and practically a virgin."
"No" Jackson said as he took Mark's arm away from his eyes "You're not pathetic."
"What would you call it?" Mark asked. Jackson could already see Mark was getting pulled out of the idea and he could see the man's erection starting to whither.
Grabbing a hold of it Jackson started to give it slow and sensual strokes. It was back at attention within seconds.
"I'd call it brave that you're willing to do it at all" Jackson said "and overwhelmed that you trust me to do it."
Mark looked up at him and in between moving his hips to Jackson's rhythm he choked out as many words as he could.
"Trust...nobody...but...you"
Jackson could feel the effects of Mark's words in his stomach and he wanted nothing more then to make this the best experience of Mark's life.
Lifting Mark's leg up he once again found the man's opening and pushed a hesitant digit inside.
"You tell me if it hurts too much" Jackson said as he kissed the side of Mark's neck "promise me"
"I-I promise" Mark said as he felt the finger work his way inside him "just go slow"
"I will" Jackson told him "Lube?"
"Nightstand" Mark answered "Top drawer" and digging in Jackson pulled out the small white bottle and one of the condoms that sat beside it.
Taking his finger out Jackson placed the liquid on the digit and once again worked it inside his lover. It felt easier that time, not as much resistance, but Jackson could see Mark was still feeling discomfort.
"I used to imagine this, ya know" Jackson whispered in Mark's ear as his finger went deeper and deeper.
"Imagine what?" Mark hissed.
"Me fucking you like this" Jackson told "your legs on my shoulders and me pounding into you so hard the headboard feels like it might crack in half"
Mark was looking at him now. Discomfort minimal replaced by a wanton lust.
"Really?"
"Oh yeah" Jackson whispered "feel you all nice and tight around me and it takes everything in me not to come that very second" Jackson said as he worked a second finger in and noticed Mark didn't even flinch.
"Your hands grip my ass to push me in further and all you keep saying is harder, Jackson, harder"
Mark's head lifted up to kiss Jackson's neck.
"You're so close that you can barely see straight" Jackson continued and that was when he found it. The small button inside Mark that caused the older man to scream out in pleasure.
"Fuck" Mark said haggardly "what in the hell was that?"
"You mean this?" Jackson asked and hit it again, causing another round of pleasurable moans.
"You have to stop that" Mark replied. "I'm going to come and I want you inside me, I need you inside me"
Pulling his fingers out Jackson ripped open the condom and Mark went to grab it.
"No" Jackson said "your job is to lay back and relax" and Mark didn't protest.
Once Jackson rolled the condom on he placed the head of his cock at Mark's entrance.
"What do you want?" Jackson asked with a grin "tell me"
"I want you to fuck me" Mark replied.
Pushing in ever so slightly Jackson swallowed Mark's grunt with a kiss. Full of passion and the promise of safety within Jackson's hands.
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark couldn't believe that it was really happening. He was really sleeping with Jackson. He let Jackson fuck him - something he had never done before. Something he had never given another guy. And most likely would never give another guy. Jackson was the one for him, even though that sounded strange, considering the fact how recent they got together, but he just knew that this was special. That his love for Jackson was special and not to compare with any of his former partners. Jackson made him feel so complete, and he didn't want to imagine life without him anymore.
When Jackson started pushing in and kissing him at the same time, Mark almost forgot the light burn that came with the intrusion, because he was so concentrated on Jackson and on kissing him, but when Jackson went deeper he still had to stop kissing him to take a deep breath.
"Relax..." he heard Jackson whisper into his ear. "It's gonna get better soon... it's gonna feel so good... I'm gonna make you feel so good."
Mark tried to do so, but it was more difficult than he thought.
"Look at me," Jackson said and Mark did so, looking up into Jackson's beautiful green eyes. "You can tell me, if you want me to stop. We don't have to..."
Mark cut him off mid-sentence. "No... I wanna do this..." he assured Jackson and closed his eyes for a moment. "It's just... new... the feeling... you inside of me..."
"I know," Jackson replied and moved one of his hands down Mark's chest and stomach until he was at his erection and grabbed it, which caused Mark to moan out loud. When Jackson's talented fingers worked up and down his shaft, he almost forgot the pain, and he didn't even wince when he felt Jackson pushing in more, until he was buried inside of him balls deep.
He felt so full, so complete, and looked at Jackson smiling. "God... you're really inside..." he whispered.
Jackson looked down at where their bodies were combined, before he turned to Mark again. "Yeah... I guess I am..." He leaned down and kissed Mark on the lips softly. "Are you okay?"
Mark's hands wandered over Jackson's back, down his spine until he reached his buttcheecks. "More than okay... start... moving... Please."
And Jackson didn't need to be asked twice. He pulled back just a little bit, only to thrust in with a little more force this time, and it caused Mark to rear up. The pain was long forgotten and he just felt the heat rising within him. "Jackson, oh Jackson," he moaned, putting his legs around Jackson's waist and pushing him even closer. "That's so good..."
Jackson leaned his forhead against Mark's, a sly smile on his lips. "Told you so... told you I'm gonna make you feel so good," he replied and started a slow pace, but after a couple of seconds, maybe minutes, it just wasn't enough for Mark anymore. He wanted more. He needed more.
He grabbed Jackson's buttcheeks tighter and pushed him in as deep inside as he could. "More... give me more," he almost begged and Jackson did. His thrusts became more erratic and harder, and there it was again. The spot, that made Mark see stars dancing before his eyes.
"Oh God... oh my god..." he almost screamed and his fingernails buried into Jackson's skin. He would most definitely leave some marks, but he couldn't help it. He moved his hands to Jackson's shoulders and pulled him down. "Do it again..." he whispered breathlessly and Jackson did so. Over and over again he thrusted against this over-sensitive spot and Mark felt like he was burning alive. He felt like his whole body ran on adrenaline and it was just so good.
When Jackson started moving his hand on his cock again, it was almost too much. It took all of his willpower not to come right then, and his whole body started shaking. "Jackson... Jackson... Jackson..." Over and over again he said his name like a mantra. He tried to hold back, tried his best not to come too early, but it grew more difficult with every second.
"Let go, Mark... come for me... I want you to come," Jackson whispered in his ear and bit his earlobe, and that was it. It was like he had just waited for Jackson's permission to come.
"I'm gonna... oh god..." he screamed out loud and bucked up, pushing his whole body against Jackson's and feeling him hit that spot once again. His world started fading and his orgasm washed over him like an explosion, making him feel like he was falling in a sea of pure pleasure. It was like he was fainting. He barely noticed Jackson thrusting into him a few more times, because he was still so caught up in his post-orgasmic state, and only opened his eyes when he felt the weight of Jackson's body sinking down on him.
"Wow..." he heard Jackson say and smiled up at him.
"Yeah... wow..." he replied, still breathless. "I thought I'm gonna pass out every second."
"I think you did for a short time," Jackson grinned. "You should have seen your face when you came. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
Mark bit his lower lip, feeling slightly embarrassed by this compliment. He wasn't used to things like that being said to him. It made him feel so special. So loved. He could see in Jackson's eyes that he meant every word he said, and that made it even more special. Because Jackson loved him that much. How could he have ever doubted that? How could he have ever thought that Jackson would leave him, just because he was maybe sick?
"Jackson, you... you're everything I've ever dreamed of. I don't wanna be without you ever again," he said, slowly coming down from his high.
"You don't have to, because I'm not going anywhere," Jackson replied, placing a soft kiss on Mark's lips, before slowly sliding out of Mark and sitting up.
For a moment, Mark almost felt empty, a feeling he didn't know, but Jackson was by his side soon again. He just got rid of the condom and leaned down to kiss him again. "I'll be right back," he said when he got up again and vanished into the bathroom. When he came back, he had a washcloth in his hand and cleaned himself and Mark, before he threw it away and layed down next to Mark.
Immediately, Mark slung his arms around him and held him very close. He just needed that right now. After all that had happened lately - especially over the past couple of hours - he just wanted to feel Jackson as much as possible. Feel the warmth of his body.
"Do you really think this thing... if I have Peripheral Neuropathy... this thing will go away? Do you think they can treat it?"
Jackson got up a little bit, so he could look Mark in the eye. "You're gonna be fine. And I'll be there all the way. I won't leave you alone in this. I'm your boyfriend. Your partner. I'm gonna be there for you, no matter what."
"I don't want to put you through this," Mark said honestly, but Jackson shook his head.
"You're not. And I know you would do the same for me if it was the other way round. Don't worry, we'll get through this," Jackson assured him.
Mark couldn't help the smile that was building on his lips. For the first time he really felt like everything was gonna be okay. He felt like Jackson was right. He just had to stay positive.
"Thank you," he simply said before kissing Jackson.
He could have gone on and on doing this, if not a growl would have broken the silence. The growl of Mark's stomach.
"Oops," Mark grinned and Jackson placed a hand on his abdomen.
"Looks like someone's hungry. Should we order something?" Jackson asked.
"Yeah, I think that would be good. I don't think I can move much anymore tonight," Mark replied, before kissing Jackson again. They would be okay. He just knew it.