Bahron (my nephew): OW! Nick why you bite me?
Nicholas (my other nephew): Shu'up! Shu'up!
Bahron is 9, Nicholas is 1. O_o He always bites his older siblings then tells them to shut up when they complain.
Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Nine Part Two: Ninja Games
By Kaori
The competitor's stood around sizing each other up while they waited for the announcement of the first competition; that is to say, most of the competitors were sizing each other up. One group seemed to be more interested in themselves than the people talking about them.
Sasuke was mentally preparing himself for the task at hand. Since he was unable to get here on time, he decided he would win every competition he was eligible to enter proving to his parents that he was not useless baggage and that he is just as good as his elder brother if not better. They will love him damn it!
Naruto too was thinking about winning the events he would be entering if only to make himself look good. After all, every contest would be a showcase of their skills as Ninja Burger employees. Yes, this was just one more milestone along his road to becoming manager of the Konoha franchise and proving his competence as a fast food ninja.
As for Sakura, she was fantasizing about becoming Mrs. Uchiha. She had already picked out he colour-scheme (blue, red, and white) for the wedding, planned the guest list (she would force Ino to attend so she could gloat over the girl in public), the type of cake (a three-tier strawberry mousse cake), and was now giggling over what their honeymoon would be like.
They were all so engrossed in their little delusions that they almost didn't notice the squabbling going on but a few feet away.
"Hot sauce!"
"Salt and pepper!"
"Hot sauce!"
"Salt and pepper!" (1)
All three members of Team 7 turned to find out what all the commotion was about only to see Chouji arguing with the weirdest-looking person they'd laid eyes on to date. Off to the side of the stranger were two others, a boy and a girl. The girl seemed to be annoyed while the boy seemed to be looking for an escape route.
"Lee!" yelled the girl, exasperated. "Does it really matter what he puts on his eggs?"
"Of course it does TenTen!" the newly identified Lee declared. "Those who do not embrace the full flavoured spicy goodness of hot sauce are obviously missing out on the springtime of their youth!"
At that last statement, both TenTen and the yet to be identified young man twitched.
"Fool!" Chouji roared. "The simplicity that is salt and pepper cannot be denied! You completely mask the eggy goodness with the spicy veil that is hot sauce! Such a crude and obnoxious flavour should not be slathered willy-nilly over such a delicate thing as an egg!"
"You just don't appreciate the complexity of...OW! Neji why did you hit me?"
The other boy, whose arm was still upraised, glared at him bringing attention to his pupil-less eyes. "You make entirely too much noise."
"B...but Neji...the hot sauce."
"No one gives a damn about hot sauce. Besides if you had any sense at all you'd realize that the only sensible thing to put on eggs is hollandaise sauce." Neji said loftily. Sasuke scowled.
"Don't be absurd." He said. "Ketchup is the true condiment for eggs." Neji now had his glare fixed on the Uchiha.
"Ketchup? Are you mad? That condiment is reserved for meat and potatoes only."
"Apparently you underestimate the versatility of ketchup."
"Why you little..."
A whole new set of squabbling began with the addition Neji and Sasuke arguing for and against different condiments. Now everyone was watching if only to see how this little drama would play out. Thankfully for the teammates of those involved the bickering was brought to an abrupt halt.
"Shut up you worthless bastards!" a tall, scarred man boomed. "And for the record you shouldn't be eating eggs in the first place! You dishonour your ancestor's with your western high-cholesterol breakfasts!"
"Uh...sir?" a grey-clad ninja interrupted.
"Huh? Oh, right. My name is Morino Ibiki and I'm the judge for the potato sack race. All those participating follow me to the field."
Now, by now you know that this is no ordinary potato sack race but for those of you who came in late or take the short bus (not that there's anything wrong with that) I'll elaborate.
The potato sack race is only called that because it involves a potato sack. All resemblance to the race we are accustomed to stops there.
Each participant is given a sack of potatoes and at the signal must race to the other side of the field while peeling all the potatoes in the bag. If they cannot peel all the potatoes before they reach the checkpoint they have to stay at the checkpoint until they finish; dropping a potato at any point results in instant disqualification. If they have successfully completed the task they can move on to the second part of the race.
Next, the racers cut all the potatoes into julienne fries while avoiding the assault from fellow ninja burger employees posing as enemies (samurai, pirates, monks, federal agents...). If they drop just one French fry they are disqualified. The race ends when the first participant reaches the deep fat fryer and hands the bag of julienne fries to the waiting fry cook.
Taking part in the race were Sasuke, Ino, Sakura, TenTen, Kiba and eleven other ninja. While TenTen and Sasuke were concentrating on winning, Sakura and Ino were going to make sure no one else but Sasuke would be victorious.
On the sidelines, the other young employees were enjoying various snacks as they too awaited the start of the race.
"So...um...Naruto..." Hinata started, nervously poking her index fingers together. "I've...been meaning to...um...ask you..."
"Yes?" blinked Naruto.
"Um...that is...I...er...howwasyourfirstdelivery?"
Surprisingly Naruto managed to understand that last blurted part and began to regale Hinata with his team's exploits. However, he only managed to get to the part where they were chased by the panda when the starting gun went off.
"Wow look at her go!" gaped Chouji as TenTen blew past the rest of the competition in a cloud of potato peels and dust. Neji smirked.
"Hmph, it is to be expected. TenTen has some of the best knife skills in the entire franchise and the third highest graduating score in the franchise academy to date."
"Oh yeah?" Shikamaru commented. "Who scored higher."
"Well, the second highest score belongs to someone called Gekko Hayate while the the top score belongs to..."
"Me." A smooth voice interrupted.
"Oh, hey you're Sasuke's big brother." Naruto pointed. "Itachi right?"
"Yes, and I see my foolish little brother has entered this competition." Murmured Itachi. "He tries so hard..."
Back to the race, Ino and Sakura had somehow managed to slow down all the other competitors except for Kiba (who was much too fast for them and currently holding third place), TenTen (who was too far ahead), Sasuke (who they were doing this for anyway), and an unknown ninja who was quickly catching up and preparing to overtake Sasuke.
"Hmm, looks like the Suna franchise has some pretty fast peelers." Itachi said.
"Heh, my little brother just happens to be the best in our franchise." A new voice said from behind him. All turned to regard the speaker, a kunoichi sporting four pigtails and a large spatula. "The name's Spaisu (2) no Temari, and my brothers and I are here to show you wannabes how it's done. Suna's bitchin' in the kitchen, you Konoha ninjas may as well just hand us all the prizes in this category."
"Oh is that so?" Lee exclaimed. "Your brother may be good at slicing and dicing, but he's still too slow to catch up to our TenTen!"
"Hmph, yes but what good is that speed when she can't peel the potatoes in time?"
And indeed Temari was correct. While TenTen was ahead of all the rest, her pack was noticeably fuller than Temari's brother's.
"Okay, we'll give you that." Shikamaru acknowledged. "But you didn't factor in two things." Temari raised an eyebrow.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. They're called Sakura and Ino."
"What?"
"Just watch." Smirked the Nara. "Hey! Ino! Sakura! That guy ahead of you called Sasuke an emo pussy!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" shrieked both girls. Both girls seemed to transform into demons as they tore after the Suna ninja like heat-seeking missiles. When they finally caught up to the poor soul...
"Oh that's just not right." Muttered Neji, covering Hinata's eyes and wincing.
"He's going to be walking funny for months." Twitched Naruto.
"Hmm. Their execution of the stuffing technique is almost flawless." Itachi commented, undisturbed. "In a few more years they may qualify for the packaging line."
Temari only stared in abject horror as Ino and Sakura stuffed potatoes up her younger brother's...derrier.
And on that disturbing note I'll end this chapter! The race is almost half over and the only competitors left are Kiba, Sasuke and TenTen. Who will be victorious?
1) This little scene brought to you courtesy of staying up all night playing Disgaea 3.
2) * authoress giggles like an idiot *