'sup and Merry Christmas! So, I was doing nothing after Christmas Dinner and thought: 'hey, I should write a Christmas edition to this' and that's what I did. This is rushed and rubbish and oh well I'm publishing it anyway. This story is trash anyway!

Oinker-P: Ah, I see. That's pretty cool! And, with the Super Smash thing, I'm still thinking about it but I have plans for some of the characters (mainly Mario and Luigi), if that's what you're asking? You do seem pretty mischievous haha (I am too, all my friends think I'm pure evil tho).

Disclaimer: Who doesn't own LOZ!? This person doesn't! *cries*

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL (Santa Claus x Link)

Description: Link has been a naughty boy this year, so Santa kidnaps him.

'Twas midnight in Hyrule Castle, and not a sound stirred. Snow was falling outside and the faint sound of tingling could be heard. It was Link who awoke to this merry sound, a merry feeling in his heart, and he stood up.

He actually didn't actually feel merry, actually, the jingling noise was actually quite annoying, actually. Link cautiously drew the Master Sword (the actual one - he was too tired to touch himself) and crept through the dark castle corridors. The dark corridors were dark, and the sound of jiggingling became louder and louder as he walked through the dark place.

The hall was the source of the jingle sounds, being decorated in some strange, peculiar, alien decorations. A tree with strange balls rested in the middle, presents covering the ground. Something merry was in the room, something joyful, something that made Link feel sick from the happiness.

"HO HO HO!"

Link almost jumped out of his skin, holding his sword tightly (no, he wasn't touching himself to the noise, this was the real sword). He spun around, his gorgeous, deep blue eyes looking upon the source of all this happiness and spirit.

A fat man in red, with a long white beard, walked towards him. His checks and nose were bright red and he looked very jolly. This man looked friendly and huggable, full of spirit, joy, merriness and (any other words associated with Christmas). Instantly, Link distrusted him. He hated happy looking people. They were always hiding something.

"Hello Link!" The man bellowed, eating a mince pie and drinking a glass of mulled wine, "It is a pleasure to meet a hero like you!"

Link pointed his sword (THE REAL ONE) at the man, glaring darkly. Whoever he was, he was trespassing in Royal property, an action punishable by the worst of torturous deaths. He ignored the merry feeling of the room, and the smell of spiced apple. Truly, a misguided soul, one needing redemption by the spirit of the holidays!

"You have been a very naughty, NAUGHTY boy this year!" The man in red stated in his joy, giving a contagious laugh.

Link frowned in disgust. Was he coming on to him? I mean, he liked being called 'naughty' and all, but this was an old, most likely drunk, man who was marching jollyly towards him. He pressed the sword (I think you should know which one I mean by now) against the man's stomach, ready to cut it and watch as mince pies and happiness flooded out of him.

"Pointing a sword at Santa Claus!? How naughty! You must be punished!" The man gave a hearty laugh, dodging the weapon and patting Link on the back, "You look like one of my elves, I guess I can teach you a lesson on being naughty and nice with them!"

Link really did not know what to think. Was this fat man, who was seemingly called 'Santa Claus' plotting to kidnap him? But it was Zelda who usually got kidnapped, not Link! The boy stood his ground, hissing like a snake.

"Naughty boy!" Santa Claus grabbed some jolly sparkles from his pockets and threw it in Link's face, knocking the boy unconscious.

The next thing Link knew, he woke up in a tiny bed, in a tiny house, sickly happy decorations surrounding him, and a bunch of little people in green staring up at him in amazement.

Link sat up, bashing his head against the ceiling, before staring down at the elves, shocked and, frankly, creeped out.

"..." they stared back at him and silenced ensured, only for them all to open their mouths and start singing a peculiar song, "Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way!"

At that point, Link attempted to escape. He stumbled out of the bed, eyes scanning desperately for his Master Sword (the real one, his other was still, thankfully, attached to him), something he could kill these strangely cute creatures with. It was nowhere in sight, and he realised it must have been with their leader - Santa Claus.

The little people followed him, all with wide, joyful smiles, eyes sparkling, "Bells on bob tail ring

Making spirits bright

What fun it is to ride and sing

A sleighing song tonight!"

Link kicked them away, seeing a door behind them. He destroyed the gingerbread door with his bare hands, clambering through the tiny hut, eyes wide in horror. Whatever these happy things were, they were terrifying. Their joy made Link feel sick and disgusted - why were they so happy!? Why were they singing!?

Forcing his way out the hut, he stumbled into a snow filled land, strange canes growing out the ground, and snowmen decorating the landscape. Everything sparkled, and the houses were made out of gingerbread. Link felt like he was about to throw up. He turned around, to see the happy things follow him, unfazed by his violent actions.

"JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,

JINGLE ALL THE WAY,

OH! WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH!"

If Link could scream, he would. This was honestly the most terrifying moment of his life - even more terrifying than that incident with Tingle. He attempted to escape, blasting into a sprint, only to be surrounded by more of these merry, little people.

"JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS,

JINGLE ALL THE WAY,

OH! WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

IN A ONE-HORSE OPEN SLEIGH!"

The all grabbed him, pulling him to a factory of sorts. It was seemingly made out of gingerbread and chocolate, sugar smoke flying out of the chimneys. There was a sign atop the factory, saying the words 'SANTA CLAUS' WORK SHOP!'. Behind the building was a castle, where he suspected the demented, jolly villain lived.

In the end, Link went along with it, forcing a jolly smile. Perhaps if he pretended to join them, he'd be able to find his trusty weapon and kill them all. They lead him to the factory, where toys of all sorts were being created, loaded into large sacks.

Eventually, the creatures stopped singing, and one spoke up, a little ginger one with big eyes and a gap tooth.

"Hewwo Wink! We awe the Elves! We wowke with Santa Cwaus to bwing joy to the chiwdren of the wowld!" The 'elf' exclaimed, eyes sparkling, "My name is Snowdrop! It is a pweasure to meet you!"

Link hated him already. Never the less, he smiled and shock his hand. Perhaps he could make a tool of little Snowdrop, use him to pursue his own goals. The other elves then introduced themselves to him, all painfully joyful, but none of them having the same lisp as Snowdrop.

"Hewe we make pweasants for the chiwdren! We make sure to fill the toys with happiness and spawkles!" Snowdrop explained happily, "We wike to swing Cwistmas songs as we do so too! But youwr a mute so you don't have to."

Link frowned, tilting his head.

"Oh, you will be hewping us make pweasants of couwse!" Snowdrop replied.

And so, Link was forced to help these horrible little creatures make presents. It was horrible. They kept singing Christmas songs. He wanted to kill himself.

That was when the merry man himself entered the factory, letting out his trademark hearty laugh.

"HO HO HO! How have we been treatin' our latest edition to the team? Has he been a good boy?!" The man asked with a jolly tone.

"Yes siw! Wink's weally leawning the impowtance of giwing and happiness!" Snowdrop informed him.

Link gave an enthusiastic nod, going along with the act. At this, Santa Claus gave a fond smile, "I'm glad. I have admired Link for so long, I'm glad to assist him return to his good ways."

With that, the large man left, leaving a jolly spirit behind him. Link hated this jolly spirit, hating the joy that remained within the horrible elves. He wanted to destroy this happiness.

After work was done, Snowdrop led Link back to the gingerbread huts in which all the elves lived. This was when Link took the chance to talk to the happy little man.

"..." he asked.

"A tour? Of couwse I'll giwve you a tour! Fowwow me!" Snowdrop said with glee, skipping away. Link followed him, ready to learn the secrets this terrifying place held.

The first place he was lead to was a stable of sorts, filled with reindeers. They all sparkled, and one even had an obnoxious, glowing red nose. Link wanted to crush that nose with his hand, to pop it an cause the reindeer agony. A content smile formed on his lips at the thought, something Snowdrop mistook for merriness.

"I'm gwad we're hewping you see the joys of the wowld! I thiwnk you will be a gweat elf!" Snowdrop exclaimed, hugging the hero.

Link cringed at the act of joyful affection. Soon, he thought, he'll be jumping gleefully on the corpses of these annoyingly happy creatures, dancing in the havoc he will cause. Now that was a thought that made him feel merry!

Next, he was shown to what seemed to be a garage, with a large red sleigh. The sleigh was huge, able to fit over a million presents. It was amazing, actually, but the joy in the room was sickening. Elves were attending to the vehicle, singing as they did so.

"Thiws is what Santa Cwaus dewivers pweasants wiwth! Tonight he will be spweading Cwistmas cheer with!" Snowdrop.

Link raised an eyebrow.

"Yewp! We awe gowing to power up the sleigh tonight and Santa Cwaus will twavel acwoss the world! Yay!" Snowdrop skipped away, continuing on with his tour.

They eventually found themselves at the castle where Link suspected his new enemy lived. He glanced down at the elf, eyes questioning what this place was for.

"This is whewe Santa Cwaus lives!" Snowdrop exclaimed, confirming Link's suspicions.

The hero in green gave a determined look as he barged into the castle. Snowdrop gasped in horror, following him, "Wink! Youwr not allowed in there!"

Link ignored him, storming through the castle. In the middle of the hall, resting on a pedestal, Link saw his precious Master Sword. He marched up to it, gripping the hilt of the blade, and dramatically pulled it out, pointing it to the sky.

"Wink nooooooo!" Snowdrop screamed, horrified.

That was when Santa Claus barged in, jaw dropped. He stared down at Link, realising the hero had not learned his lesson, "Snowdrop... What have you done!?"

Link charged at the fat man, kicking him in the gut before he could fight back. Santa clambered to his feet, grabbing a candy cane to defend himself with, tears forming in his eyes, "Why, Link, why!? You were supposed to be a hero!"

"...!" Link glared at him, angered that the man dared question his status as a hero.

A battle began, or, mainly a one sided beating up session. Link kicked, punched and jumped on the jolly man, angry that he forced him to such a place of joy. Eventually, the male rose his sword in the air, a dark glint in his eyes.

"Please, Link... Don't do this..! You still have a chance! A chance to be redeemed! Link, I love you-" Link's sword slashed through Santa Claus's neck, decapitating the man. He grabbed his head, and a candy cane, and marched outside. The elves watched in horror as he slammed Santa's head on the makeshift pike.

That was when the security measures kicked in. Fighter elves came to attack, blasting flames at him. Snow balls were chucked at Link in every direction and he ran through the land which previously contained so much joy. Chaos was caused as elves turned against elves, fire engulfing the buildings, and snowballs hitting everyone.

Link skidded into the garage, seeing the sleigh. It was filled to the brim with presents and reindeer were ready to blast off. Before he jumped on, however, a crying Snowdrop stumbled towards him.

"Wink... Pwease don't weave me... I'm scawed and I want to help you..." Snowdrop sniffed, rubbing snot off his nose.

Link didn't even take a second to consider this. He kicked Snowdrop into the flames, listening in glee as the small elf screamed in mixture of agony and despair. Chuckling to himself, Link jumped on the sleigh, riding it to Hyrule and stealing all the presents for himself. And so, Christmas was forever cancelled.

The land of Christmas had been destroyed. Flames died down, and ravaged elves sought shelter. Among the wreckage, an elf with a burned up face stood up, a dark look in his eyes.

Snowdrop had survived, and his heart had been hardened. No longer was he the sweet, innocent little elf he previously was, no longer would he allow anyone to control him. He made his way to the top of the rubble, sitting on his new throne.

"Time to bwing misewy to to univerwse! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Snowdrop's laughter echoed throughout the North Pole, and the elves looked up to their new leader in fear.

Yeeeeaaaaah wtf did I just write? There wasn't even that much Santa in it! Eh... And I accidentally turned Link into a raging sociopath. Oops.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!