To The Journey
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Retaking the Station
Her eyes never left the viewscreen.
This was it. This was The Day. Nearly two months in the making, ever since they'd lost the station. Ten days of intense planning.
The Enterprise was one of seven ships on the plan's key strike force. Joining them were the Defiant, Jim Kirk's Fearless, General Makar's flagship and one other Romulan Warbird, and two Klingon Birds-of-Pray.
Five out of the seven ships would be making the short journey to the station under cloak. The Fearless and the Enterprise weren't lucky enough to have that particular technology installed and would have to rely on stealth.
Tasha had gotten the sense that Jim was actually somewhat excited for this, a mission to rival those of his own glory days. Tasha was anything but. She knew what it was she would have to do today.
They had discussed trying to operate the ships on Alpha Team remotely, but there were too many variables in a battle. It wasn't going to work. The ships had to be manned if they were going to pull this off and make it look real. Even at minimal complement, the twenty-eight ships carried a total of seventy-four people. Seventeen of the ships were Federation, many of them older models closer to decommissioning or in less-than-perfect repair. It made sense from a long-term tactical perspective. If you know the ships will be destroyed, you pick the ships you least mind losing. The eleven Klingon warships were much the same.
But that wasn't what bothered Tasha. Yes, people grew attached to ships, but at the end of the day they weren't alive. They didn't have consciousnesses. The people on them did.
Everyone on every ship on the team was a volunteer, a small mercy. As horrible as the mission was, Starfleet hadn't had that much trouble finding people willing to walk into certain death for the cause. The Klingons had had even less trouble finding volunteers - for a Klingon, a death in battle was an honor. Many of the volunteers were older, warriors who didn't have long before age would have forced them to lay down their weapons. Each and every one was eager to go down fighting and not fade slowly away. She reminded herself of these things but it didn't make any easier.
Tasha would be coordinating the attack in general, as well as the engagement with the station, from the bridge of the Enterprise. Ross would be handling the major battle, and an old Klingon warrior, a friend of Jadzia's from her life as Curzon, would be leading the decoy strike. Ross had offered to give The Order, but Tasha had refused to shift responsibility off herself so easily. It had been her idea, now she had to see it through.
"Ross to Yar."
"Yar here."
"All ships are fully manned and ready to proceed."
"Acknowledged, Admiral." She opened a fleet-wide channel. "Attention all personnel. We are ready to proceed. Main Fleet, stand by."
Ross' voice came through the line. "Main Fleet standing by."
"Good luck," she said softly. "Main Fleet, move out."
"Main Fleet moving out."
"The main fleet has gone to warp," Data reported.
"Alpha Team, stand by."
"Alpha Team standing by."
"Opening a channel to the main fleet."
Ross' voice came through the silence not five minutes later. "All ships, prepare to drop out of warp."
"Data, get me a visual on the battle site."
"On viewscreen."
Even as the image popped up, the first Federation and Klingon ships began to appear. Ross began firing off commands and the fleet went to work, trying to draw as much fire as possible.
The Dominion were responding, engaging readily. Tasha opened a new channel and swallowed hard.
"Alpha Team, move out."
"Alpha Team moving out." The old Klingon's voice was laced with excitement. "Today is a good day to die."
Tasha flinched inwardly, knowing how accurate his statement was likely to be, but she remained outwardly calm, eyes fixed on the battle on the viewscreen.
Right on cue, Alpha Team dropped out of warp, hurtling at just barely sublight speed towards the prearranged point in the line. Just as Tasha had predicted, the Dominion had been waiting for this trick and a close to fifty ships pulled out of the main battle to go after them.
"Beta Team, stand by."
"Defiant standing by."
"Fearless standing by."
The captains of the Romulan and Klingon ships confirmed as well. Tasha acknowledged but her eyes never left the viewscreen. The Alpha Team had split into a number of small groups, ostensibly to try and increase the chances some of them would get through but really just to make the Dominion have to work chasing them.
Even as she watched, the team took its first hit. One Federation Miranda-class cruiser took heavy fire, and several decks exploded. The ship remained intact, and Tasha knew no one had been on that deck, but the ship had been critically weakened, if she knew anything about mechanics, not to mention it meant the Dominion had cut through their shields. That ship wasn't going to make it - if any of them did.
"Let's make it count for something," she said softly. "Data, get me a visual on Beta Team target point."
As she had suspected, the area was all but clear, all their station-area personnel busy with the other two teams. "All right, this is it. Beta Team, move out!"
Instantly, five of the ships around them shimmered and disappeared. The ships shot silently into warp.
"Data, keep an eye on that opening," she reminded him unnecessarily. Because of the speed course corrections would have to come at, they had linked Data's console in with the helms of all seven ships. He would calculate and input the corrections, and then the pilots would have only to press a button to get into the clear space.
She felt the ship shudder a little, resisting their unorthodox rejection of traditional wisdom regarding warp steering, but Data gave her a brief thumbs-up, indicating that the modifications he and Geordi along with a team of engineers from the base had so meticulously installed had held up, before turning back to his console."
"We've cleared the Dominion line," he announced.
Tasha hurriedly opened a channel. "All present and accounted for?"
The other six ships sounded off rapidly.
"Prepare to drop out of warp and engage the station." She glanced at her countdown. "Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one - now!"
As the Enterprise braked out of warp, Tasha was aware of the other ships falling into formation, all visible now.
"Engage," she shouted. "Yar to Admiral Ross."
"Ross here!"
"We're going in. Try to keep the fleet engaged so they can't reinforce the station."
"Acknowledged." She cut that channel, opening a com-link with the rest of her team. All at once, there was a massive explosion.
Sisko's voice came through first. "The mines!"
"What?"
"The mines are gone, they must have disabled them. That means the Dominion can get reinforcements through the wormhole!"
"Damn it!" That was not something they had accounted for. Then she realized the Defiant was breaking from the team, heading straight for the wormhole.
"What are you doing?"
"Trust me! I've got a plan! Just stay with the station."
He was through the mouth of the wormhole before she had a chance to protest. "All right, we're going to have to work without them. Open fire."
As one, the team dove in, phasers firing, trying to aim for the weak points Sisko had told them about while avoiding the station's own weapons, weapons which, somewhat ironically, the Federation had installed to fight the Dominion. Tasha tried not to think about whether or not being without the Defiant in the battle would make all the difference.
All of a sudden, the weapons went dead. A series of shocked exclamations flooded the comm line.
It was Tasha who figured it out first. "Idiots!" she cried almost gleefully. "They let the same personnel who served with Sisko and the others stay on the station."
"Sabotage, you think?" Kirk asked.
"I'm sure of it! Instruct boarding parties to prepare for transport the second the shields come down!"
"But what about -?"Kirk began, but he abruptly cut himself off as the Defiant came streaking back out of the wormhole.
Sisko's voice filled the comm line seconds later. "Good news. No reinforcements on the way."
"The Dominion didn't call for reinforcements?" she repeated.
"Oh, they did. But the reinforcements have been, ah, detained. I'll explain once we're all on our station."
"Then let's do it! All ships, concentrate your fire and try to collapse their shields. As soon as the shields are down, start transporting boarding parties to the prearranged locations."
The acknowledgments were cheerful.
Tasha opened another channel to the main fleet. "Yar to Ross. The station's weapons have been rendered inoperative. We're preparing to board."
"Well done, Commander. We'll come join you as soon as we can."
"All ships." That was Sisko again. "I'm sending you coordinates. Concentrate your fire on these points and we should be able to breach their shields."
"Acknowledged. Target coordinates and fire."
Sisko's knowledge of the station was as reliable as Tasha had known it would be. The shields buckled under their concentrated fire, then completely deactivated when he managed to get a torpedo in the generator.
"All right!" Tasha opened a channel to all of the cargo bays where the boarding parties were waiting. "Remember your orders. Take prisoners if you can, don't shoot anyone unless there's actual danger if you don't, try to stun or wound instead of kill, and watch out for allies, we don't want to shoot our own. All ships, begin transporting boarding parties."
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She almost tripped over the pair before she saw them.
The man looked somewhat familiar, but Tasha couldn't place him immediately. He was holding a woman in his arms and sobbing, mumbling incoherently.
He was Cardassian, but he didn't appear to be armed or even capable of putting up a fight. He looked up at the Federation soldiers standing over him, but his eyes locked on her.
"Come to gloat?" he said bitterly. "Well, gloat away. There's nothing anyone can do to me anymore."
A shock of recognition hit her and she pulled back. She knew it was irrational to be frightened of this broken man, but she couldn't help it. She despised this man and she was deathly afraid. He had taken so much from her, hurt her so badly while she was at his mercy. She couldn't feel pity for him.
Her eyes fell on the woman in his arms, and it was then that she noticed that the woman lay unnaturally still and had a hole in her chest. She drew a deep breath, forcing herself to take control.
"Take this man into custody," she snapped. As Jenna and the others rushed to obey her, Tasha pulled the body from his arms. The woman had been shot through the chest. Her body was still warm.
"Yar to Enterprise, medical emergency. Transport two directly to sickbay and advise Doctor Crusher to prepare for a Code White resuscitation."
"Enterprise to Yar. Did you say Code White?"
"You heard me! Transport now, we're fighting the clock."
She materialized kneeling on the floor of the Enterprise's sickbay, holding the woman in her arms. Immediately, a medic was standing next to her, helping her lift the patient onto a biobed.
"What happened?" Beverly asked urgently.
"Shot through the chest. Body's still warm. I thought there was a chance."
"There might be. Neural stimulator."
"Neural stimulator locked in." Alyssa was on top of it faster than should have been possible.
"Interlock current feeds. Set sensitivity factor to four point four."
"Affirmative."
"Monitoring two point three, one point eight."
The monitor began to show life functions. An untrained eye might have seen it as a good thing, but Tasha knew it meant nothing. Technology could support a body with no brain function for days, weeks, or even years.
"She's not responding, Doctor. Her synaptic network is breaking down," Alyssa reported somberly.
"Let's go for direct reticular stimulation. I know it's risky but we don't have a choice."
Tasha felt an odd sense of - something - when the machine was hooked up, but she shoved it aside. The woman jerked when the current went through her, but nothing changed.
Beverly was nothing if not determined. She ordered the voltage turned up twice. Finally, on the fifth shock, they began to see results.
"I'm getting neural activity!" Alyssa announced.
"She's breathing on her own." Beverly said, sounding slightly relieved, "but it's not over yet. The shot went through her heart, she'll need extensive surgery. Damn, I wish we had a heart specialist."
"You can't do it?" Tasha asked.
"I can, but I'd rather not. I never studied cardiac surgery in depth, and this is a complicated procedure."
"Can we wait to get someone from the fleet?" Alyssa asked in a tone that suggested she knew the answer.
"She might not last that long."
"What about Julian?" Tasha asked. "He's studied cardiology, done some procedures. He's not a specialist -"
"Probably closer to it than I am. Get him. And then see if you can track down who she is."
"That shouldn't be too difficult. Yar to Bashir."
"Bashir here."
"We've got a serious medical emergency in the Enterprise's sickbay, a heart wound. You're the closest thing to a cardiologist we've got."
"On my way."
"What shouldn't be too difficult?" Beverly asked.
"Figuring out who she is. Look." Tasha indicated the woman's nose. "She's not all Cardassian. There's some Bajoran in there somewhere." She frowned as it occured to her. "In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that I know who this is without having to ask a single question."
"You do?" Beverly and Alyssa asked at the same time.
"Garak told me that Gul Dukat had an illegitimate daughter who was half-Bajoran. I found him cradling her body. I doubt a man of his stature would have been cradling a random young woman in a hallway. Anyway, we'll know soon enough. If it is her, Julian will know. Let me know what happens. I have to check on the security teams, and I want to be on the station when Admiral Ross gets in."
"Understood. I'll let you know."
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"What the hell happened? What the hell were you thinking, racing into the wormhole like that?"
"I was thinking I would just confront them there, in the wormhole. They could only fly a few abreast, I thought we'd have a shot at taking them."
"One ship against a whole fleet." She eyed her longtime ex-boyfriend with something resembling a laugh. "You really are crazy. So what happened? You can't tell me you single-handedly beat an entire fleet without so much as scratching the Defiant."
"I didn't. You remember what I told you about the wormhole aliens?"
"Yeah, sort of. They're incorporeal, they don't exist in linear time as we experience it, and they think of you as their intermediary."
"They have a special tie to Bajor."
"Yes, you told me."
"I pointed out that Bajor would be in danger if those ships come through the wormhole. The Bajoran Prophets took care of them."
"All of them?"
"Each and every one."
Tasha laughed. "Who ever said the Federation doesn't have powerful friends?"
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"Well, you were right."
Tasha nearly tumbled over the railing she was leaning on. "Julian! Don't do that."
"Sorry." He smiled. "I forget people's hearing isn't as good as mine."
"It's okay. So what was I right about?"
"Your mystery patient is Tora Ziyal, Gul Dukat's half-Bajoran daughter."
"Have you figured out what happened to her?"
"I spoke with Major Kira. Ziyal had turned her back on the Dominion and allied himself with a small uprising on the station, freeing Kira and several other prisoners from a holding cell. My guess would be that that was supposed to be an execution. She's lucky you came along."
"Then she'll live?"
Julian nodded. "I had to replace part of her heart with artificial tissue, but it's working normally. For awhile I was worried I'd have to replace the heart completely, but it wasn't as bad as it looked. Really, her mixed parentage saved her."
"How's that?"
"In a full Cardassian, her heart would have been exactly where the bolt went through her chest. But being part Bajoran, it was a few centimeters off from there, so it only went through one chamber of her heart. It was bad, but I don't know if she would have lived if it had hit her directly. It would have completely destroyed her heart."
"But a heart can be replaced."
"Under those circumstances, though, you're racing the clock like you wouldn't believe. I know you're thinking of Captain Picard, but from a medical standpoint it's just not the same. His heart was damaged beyond repair, but it was still able to beat - sort of - long enough for a replacement. Ziyal's heart would have been eradicated. She would have died instantly. She probably would have been beyond saving by the time you found her."
"What does - her father think of all this?" She didn't want to say his name if she could help it.
"He doesn't know. Not that we didn't try," he added before she could say anything, "but he's convinced she's dead, and nothing I, Captain Sisko, or even Major Kira said made a bit of difference. He's gone insane."
"He's always been insane," she said flatly. "It's just starting to show through the cracks."
Julian raised an eyebrow. He had guessed there was more going on between her and Dukat than anyone - except, he suspected, Garak and the now-departed Enabran Tain, and maybe a few of her closest shipmates - had known. "Whatever you say."
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"That was one hell of a battle plan," Ross informed her, speaking rather loudly to be heard over the partying personnel. "We got here sooner, and with significantly less casualties, than any of the predictions showed for the direct approach.
"How many?" she asked bluntly.
"How - what?"
"How many casualties, Admiral?"
"We're still working on getting an official count, but it looks to be somewhere in the neighborhood of three hundred. Projections for a direct engagement suggested a thousand or more casualties."
"Alpha Team?"
The look on Ross' face told her everything. "All of them?"
"I'm sorry."
"Oh, my god." All the excitement drained out of her. "Oh, God."
She fled the gaiety of the Promenade. She couldn't stand their joy anymore, not when all she could think about was a certain seventy-four people who weren't there to celebrate. She stumbled into a deserted hallway, leaning against the wall, unable to stand without its support.
Screams, moans, echoed through the hall. It took Tasha a moment to realize that she was the one who was making those noises. She couldn't have figured out how to stop in any case. Tears flowed freely down her face.
She didn't know how long it had been before she felt hands take her shoulders from behind. A voice whispered into her ear. "There now, Natasha. I'm here."
Only one person ever called her by her full name, to say nothing of the unusual pronunciation. "Captain -" she tried to pull herself together but it was in vain.
She heard him say something else she couldn't make out through her distress, but the next thing she knew she was standing in his ready room. He escorted her to the couch and sat her down, sitting next to her and pulling her close.
"Come, now. Just let it out."
She just sobbed. He kept whispering words, if they were words, to her, rubbing her back gently.
She made a choking sound and stood abruptly, one hand pressed to her mouth. Understanding, he took her arm and hurried her into the small bathroom just in time for her to be violently sick.
"I'm sorry, Captain," she whispered weakly when she had finished.
"Not at all," he said gently, helping her to her feet and back onto the couch. "Just lie down, you'll feel better soon."
"Captain - all those people -" she gasped out.
"I know. I know." He rubbed her shoulder. "Natasha, what you did today is something most high-ranking years train for just in case they are confronted with such a situation. One of the requirements to be promoted to full commander is to demonstrate the ability to make a decision in the best interests of a ship, even at the cost of individual lives." He knew that lower-ranked officers weren't supposed to know about that facet of the command test, but he knew Tasha wouldn't tell, and no reasonable commander would ever put her in the simulation after this. It would be pointless. "You never had that training, that preparation, and you accomplished this on a far grander scale than most are ever asked to, in tests or in real life. I know that right now you're upset. I would be worried if you were not. But once you've processed this a little, I hope you can find room in your heart for a measure of pride, because you should be very proud of what you have accomplished."
He gripped her hand tightly and felt her squeeze back, an acknowledgment that she was listening. "I'll let you rest. Just call for me if you need me."
"Okay, Captain," she whispered.
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"Captain Picard."
"Admiral." He wasn't exactly sure why Ross was standing on his bridge. "Can I help you?"
"Your chief of security left me rather suddenly. I wanted to make sure she was all right."
"She's badly shaken. Regardless of all the logical numbers, regardless of the fact that she accomplished what needed to be done with the lowest possible number of casualties, it is very different to order troops into battle and to knowingly send people to their deaths."
Ross was already shaking his head sadly. "She should never have been put in that position, but she wouldn't let anyone else do it for her. I offered."
"It hardly matters. I know Natasha. She would carry the same guilt just for suggesting the idea."
"She'll never make Admiral with that attitude. Probably never make Captain either."
"I don't think she wants to."
"I got that impression the first time I met her. A pity. She could be one of the great commanders of all time."
"You think so?"
"Look at the way she handles her security team. I don't know how much you personally know about the members of your crew -"
"Not as much as I would like," the Captain admitted. "I just don't have time to handle that bulk of personnel files."
"What do you know about Jenna D'Sora?"
"My Assistant Chief of Security? She's a good officer."
"She is now. When she started out on the Enterprise, no one was entirely sure what to think of her. I happen to remember going over her file and wondering what would become of her. She was intelligent and good at what she did in theory, but she was flighty and disorganized. Commander Yar took Lieutenant D'Sora under her wing, befriended her. I'm not sure she even knew she was helping the Lieutenant become better, but I highly doubt that under any other commanding officer she would have ever become leadership material. She would always have been just a member of the team."
"I had another officer, an engineer, who was having problems that were obvious to the crew. I told his superior to befriend him to help him get it together. I never noticed D'Sora -"
"Because your Chief of Security befriended her without ever having to be told. That's a natural leader, Captain, if ever I've known one. I'd love to see her in a Captain's chair someday, but not even Will Riker is so resistant to the idea of such a position."
"If she was any other way, she wouldn't be the Natasha Yar we all know and love."
"Captain, what would you say to the idea of a promotion for this? Even if she won't accept command, fill out another one of those pips on her collar. Heaven knows she deserves it."
But Picard was already shaking his head. "I think at the moment that would be the worst thing we could do. Giving her an award for a deed she's already a mess about it would just compound the mess she's digging herself into. I will give her that promotion, but not here and not now."
I hope the battle scene was executed to satisfaction. I don't have a lot of experience with those.
Realized I didn't give credit where it was due in the last chapter, so Chapter 26 contained references to the TNG episodes The Best of Both Worlds and Redemption and the DS9 episode Call to Arms. This one contains references to the TNG episode Thine Own Self, as well as drawing the dialogue around Ziyal's resuscitation from Skin of Evil, and the DS9 episodes Sacrifice of Angels and Blood Oath, and is sort of a substitute for Kor's fate in Once More Unto the Breach, which won't be fitting this canon. I put in the bit about Dukat thinking Ziyal is dead because I wanted her to live but his reaction to her death is so key in the story.
The idea of Tasha's breakdown is taken loosely from the M*A*S*H episode Bombshells (the rest of this paragraph contains SPOILERS) in which a character must choose to sacrifice one life to save several others, and is so distraught he gives the medal he receives for the mission to another soldier.
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