A/N: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand Chapter 18… wow… already… and there is no end in sight… yet… and this chapter will definitely need the "M-Rating" again… sorry it took us so long to get the boys "in action" again… But you will be surprised how everything turns out in the end ;-)

Thanks for the reviews – and just as a reminder, the guy we call Michael Holt does actually exist in another tv-show "universe" called "A gifted Man"… after the show got cancelled (and I loved it so much XD) I decided to "borrow" him, since he's a Neuro Surgeon and well, yeah… you will find out a lot more about him in Chapter 19 ;-) If you want a picture of him, just let us know, so you have a face to his name…

And now have fun with Chapter 18… and if you like it, review, and if you don't, review as well and tell us why not ;-) Please? ;-)

Jackson Avery POV:

It had been three weeks and 12 food dishes, yet Jackson still hadn't made any headway when it came to Callie.

The Tupperware was always returned back to Jackson's desk completely void of the food, but not so much as thank you was given in return. Jackson figured she would have to relent eventually. Even if Jackson had to stuff her so full of food that she couldn't feel anything else but appreciative.

He was on his way to a surgery he was sharing with Karev when the man walked up and started to stroll beside him.

"You ready, man?" Alex asked with a wide smile. It was one of many wide smiles Alex had given him over the past couple of weeks.

"What's with you?" Jackson asked curiously "what's with this whole Jolly Sunshine routine you've had recently?"

"What?" Alex asked "a guy can't just be happy"

"You?" Jackson said "No way. You haven't been releasing all your bitterness on innocent bystanders in the middle of the night, have you?"

"Fuck off, dude" Alex said with a laugh.

The two walked in compatible silence until Jackson decided to get something off his chest.

"I've been thinking it's about time I tell April about me and Mark" the two men were still walking down the hall when Jackson blurted it out. Stopping in his tracks Alex looked at him and his smile only grew wider.

"What's so funny?"

"I really don't think that's going to be necessary" Alex told him.

"What are you talking about?" Jackson asked. He was quite sure he never let it slip with April and he knew the woman wasn't going around and searching for anything behind his back.

Alex was quiet for a couple of minutes "Let's just say she got an earful of exactly the kind of things our kitchen could have been witnessed to whenever you thought you and Mark were alone"

Jackson didn't get what the man was talking about "The kitchen-"Jackson said and like a bolt of lightening it all came rushing back to him. He and Mark in the kitchen. Jackson saying exactly what he would have had Mark do and the jangle of keys.

April had been there and she had heard the two. Standing there in shock Alex only began to laugh harder. "Relax dude. We talked it over and although she isn't happy that you kept it from her she is happy for you"

"But I-" Jackson started to say before Arizona walked up and greeted the two men.

"Hello, Gentlemen" Arizona said jubilantly.

"Hello, Dr. Robbins" Jackson said "It's a surprise to see you here" Jackson said.

"I decided it was time to get back in the saddle" she said and turned her attention to Alex. "I asked Hunt if I could supervise the cleft surgery you and Jackson have for today, but only if it's okay with you two".

Jackson heard her say both he and Alex, but he knew Arizona really wanted Alex's approval. They were going to be partners now and she wanted to make his opinion just as important as hers.

"I'd like that" Alex said genuinely and Jackson could see the two were finally getting past the turmoil that the last few months had given them.

"So, are we ready?" Arizona asked and with an affirmative nod both Jackson and Alex began to follow her.

"Jackson, wait" Meredith said as she ran up to catch with the man. Turning around he saw the much frazzled woman.

"What's the matter?" Jackson asked.

"I was hoping to catch you before you went into surgery" she said out of breath.

"What is it?" Jackson asked concern in his voice.

"Dr. Holt needs you to sign off on that surgery you two have tomorrow if they want to book the OR" Meredith told him and Jackson looked at the woman confused.

"Are you serious?" he asked her "I have until the end of shift to do that and that's not for another 8 hours"

"He says it's important".

Alex and Arizona were already making their way towards the surgical room. Turning around periodically to see how long Jackson was going to be.

"If it's so important he could have found me himself or sent an intern" Jackson said, annoyed that he reduced a surgeon like Meredith to a lackey.

"It's no trouble, really Jackson" she said. Then for the first time Derek's worries made their way to the front of his thoughts. Something was definitely off.

"You're a surgeon Meredith, not his personal assistant. You can tell Dr. Holt that if he wants me to sign off on that surgery he can come and see me himself"

"Jackson-" Meredith started to say.

"I'm late as it is" Jackson cut her off "I'll see you later Meredith" and with that he made his way to the OR to prepare for his cleft surgery.

Jackson may not have known who Dr. Holt was, but he had no doubt the dude was going to be problematic.

Arizona Robbins POV:

"Everything alright?" Arizona asked, once Jackson had caught up with her and Alex on their way to the OR.

Jackson nodded, but he seemed slightly absent. "Yes... yes, sure... it's just... that I have a bad feeling," he replied.

Arizona looked at him, confused. "About the surgery?"

"No, not that," Jackson replied immediately. "About this Doctor Holt... I don't know... it's just a feeling and maybe I'm just hungry or something like that and it doesn't mean anything. But something tells me, he means trouble."

Arizona put a hand on Jackson's shoulder consolingly. "I understand that... he seems a bit... self centred, as far as I can tell," Arizona replied. "And Nurse Emily recently told me that he commands people around like they were... I don't know... like he's a god and they are nothing. It's an attitude I really hate on people, and if it's true, I don't think I'm gonna like him very much."

"Likewise," Jackson agreed with her. "But I don't think I should have bad feelings towards him without really knowing him, right?" He looked at Arizona again. "I mean, I have a surgery with him tomorrow and I don't want to let my feelings get the best of me."

"Then try to meet him open-minded, dude," Alex advised him. "Maybe he's not that bad. Maybe it's just rumours."

Jackson nodded slowly. "Yes, maybe."

The three of them got into the elevator and went down to the OR's, changing into scrubs and putting on their scrub caps, before finally entering the OR where their patient was already sound asleep and everything was prepared for the surgery.

"Ready?" Arizona asked while taking a seat next to Alex.

"Of course," Alex replied, but she could totally see that he was a little bit nervous. Most likely, because she was here, so she softly put a hand on his wrist and looked up at him. "Act as if I'm not here, okay? I won't say a word, I just wanna watch. I miss surgery so much."

Alex smiled at her, and it was one of the many smiles she had gotten recently. The guy seemed to be in a good mood lately, and she definitely started questioning it. If she didn't know better she would say he had a girlfriend, but the only female person she had seen Alex around with over the past few weeks had been Kepner.

At this moment it hit Arizona. Of course.Kepner. She hadn't really paid much attention to it, but now where she was thinking about it, it all made sense. They were together almost all the time and Kepner even had been under Alex' service a lot. Not that this was something totally unusual with Derek and Mark still out of service, but she had literally the same smile on her lips all the time. She seemed happy. And so did Alex.

He deserved to be happy. Really, really happy. After all that went down with Stevens, Alex deserved someone who really loved him and cared for him, and Kepner was just sweet. Arizona could totally picture them together, and she would be so happy for Alex if her assumptions were correct.

"Doctor Robbins? You can let go of my hand now. I can't start like that," Alex' voice brought Arizona back to reality and just then she realized, that she was still holding onto him.

"Oops... yeah, sorry," she apologized and slid back on her stool.

It had been a rough couple of weeks and her leg was still giving her trouble sometimes but after all she could be happy to still be alive. And to still have her leg. It could have come so much worse and she was better than most of her colleagues on the plane. In fact, besides Meredith she was the only one back on the job already, even though it was only supervising. She couldn't speak for Yang, though, because she hadn't heard of her since she had left.

She shook her head to get those distracting thoughts away before turning her attention to the surgery.

A smile crossed her lips when she looked at Jackson. He had put so much effort in cooking for Callie, her beautiful wife Callie, some meals and Callie hadn't even thanked him once. But Arizona knew that her resistance was starting to melt away. That even though she wouldn't admit to it, she already started liking him. And that was a good thing, because Arizona knew how important both - Callie and Jackson - were for Mark and that he needed them to get along.

"By the way, Avery," she started, looking up at him and waiting for him to look back at her.

"Yes?" the younger surgeon replied, seeming a bit startled.

"Your chicken tenders were delicious. And the dip... yummie," she said, licking her lips even though no one could see it underneath the mask.

"Really?" Jackson smiled, and if Arizona wasn't mistaken, there was a blush crawling up his cheeks.

"Yes. Yes, really." Arizona assured him.

"You cook dinner for Robbins? Dude, did I miss something?" Alex asked with a cheeky grin on his face. "You do know she's married, right?"

"Idiot," Jackson laughed. "It's for Torres. I already told you that I'm cooking for her when you ate my chicken casserole. Remember?"

"Yeah, that." Alex replied. "Must have slipped my mind."

"Like so many other things lately," Jackson commented, turning back to his patient. "But yeah... I've cooked for her a couple of times, hoping that she might like it."

"Oh she did, believe me, she did," Arizona admitted without any hesitation. She felt sorry for Jackson NOT getting any response from Callie, but sometimes her wife was just really bull-headed. "Yesterday she came to me telling me that I need to taste because it's just awesome and like the best chicken tenders she has ever eaten." She smiled up at Jackson. "Just give her a little time... I just know she's starting to warm up to the idea of you and Mark. But Mark is her best friend and so she's... a little complicated when it comes to him."

"It's okay... I totally understand that," Jackson replied.

Arizona nodded. "Yeah... it's never easy to get between those two. I experienced it myself and I wasn't Mark's biggest fan in the beginning, because he was always there... day and night. So I really know what you're going through. But she will cool down eventually. Trust me."

She hoped she had calmed Jackson down just a little bit, because she just wanted him to know that his efforts weren't for nothing and that he was on a good way for Callie to finally accept him.

Jackson Avery POV:

Jackson was feeling very good after the surgery with Alex and Arizona. Her words of encouragement with regards to Callie gave him hope that maybe, just maybe, his plan was actually working.

He was still lost in thought when he heard the knock on the door and looking up he told the visitor to come in and smiled when he saw April walk in.

"Hey Jackson" she said as she closed the door and walked over to him "I just wanted to make sure you had the patient information for the surgery tomorrow".

"Thank you" Jackson said as he grabbed the folder from her. She was about to walk out when Jackson decided to bite the bullet.

"April, wait!"

She turned around "Yeah?"

"Would you mind sitting and talking with me for a moment?"

Looking at him curiously April nodded her head and took a seat across from her friend. "What's up?" she asked.

Jackson had no idea how to even to begin to bring it up. Beyond the nervousness of telling her about Mark, there was also the added bonus of having to go over exactly what she heard when she walked into their apartment.

"You know that you're one of my best friends in the world, right?"

With a smile April nodded "Of course, and you're one of mines"

"I don't want you to think that I purposefully kept something from you" Jackson said "it's only that I wanted to make sure I knew what it was first, before I put it out there"

Looking at her face he could see realization come across it.

"I'm sorry you had to find out in such a ...blatant way" Jackson told her "that's not how I wanted it to be. April's cheeks turned red and if Jackson didn't feel so embarrassed himself he sure would have found it cute.

"It-It's okay" April said

"No, it isn't" Jackson said "I shouldn't have let you discover what's going on between me and Mark that way; you deserved the truth from me. I'm sorry"

"I was hurt because I thought you felt that what happened between us changed who we were to one another" April said "I guess I was scared that San Francisco had altered our friendship"

"I love you April, you know that" Jackson said "nothing we did, or will do, can ever change that. I promise"

The woman was quiet for a few moments and Jackson could tell that something was on her mind.

"Anything wrong?"

"It's stupid" April said as she bowed her head.

"This is me April" Jackson told her "how much stupid stuff have I said and did in front of you since our days at Mercy West?"

The smile was back on her face and she looked up at Jackson "It wasn't me, was it?"

"What wasn't you?" he asked.

"You didn't turn to Mark because of us?" she asked "I didn't make you...ya know?"

Jackson had let out a small laugh. He couldn't help himself. It was only when he saw that she looked slightly offended that he became serious.

"I promise you April, you didn't do this" he told her "Mark wasn't my first...guy"

"Really?" she asked.

"Yeah, I was in a pretty serious relationship before I moved to Seattle" standing up he walked around his desk and stood beside April.

Grabbing her hand Jackson pulled April up to a standing position. "Does he make you happy?" April asked.

"Very" Jackson said with a smile "more then I thought possible"

"Then I'm happy for you" April said and brought Jackson in for a hug. He didn't know how much he needed this, but having April's approval made him feel…better.

The two were still hugging when Jackson's door flung open and Michael Holt came storming in.

"We need to talk" he said, his voice deep and serious.

"I'm sure you're mother taught you manners" April said.

Looking at the woman Michael looked as if he wanted to say something, but thought better of it.

"It's okay, April" Jackson said "I'll see you at home".

"Are you sure?" she asked as she eyed Michael suspiciously.

"Yeah" he told her and after April left Jackson walked over and closed the door behind her.

"Can I help you?" Jackson asked. Matching Michael's previous tone of voice. He knew many guys like Holt and the only thing they understood were people who acted like them. Jackson was more then happy to oblige.

"I sent Dr. Grey with releases for you to sign and she said you declined" Michael slammed the papers on Jackson's desk "Sign them, now!"

"I don't know who the hell you think you are Dr. Holt, but I can tell you that you're not my boss and I'm not going to respond to any commands you throw out"

Michael was quiet as he looked to be studying Jackson. "Spanking new board-certified surgeon thinks he has some kind of weight to throw around" he said "let me give you a clue, Dr. Avery, you're still low on the totem pole and if I tell you to do something you do it"

Jackson gave the man a wide smile. "I bet you actually manage to scare people with that spiel" Jackson said "how else would you get a person like Meredith Grey to become you're personal assistant"

Michael bristled at the comment and stood up straighter "An Avery through and through, huh?"

"What?" Jackson said surprised.

"Maybe I should be clearer… a Jackson Avery through and through"

"You don't know anything about me Dr. Holt and I should warn you that you're dangerously close to crossing the line"

"You would be surprised how much I know about you, Jackson" Michael said "very surprised"

"I think we're done here "Jackson said as he headed for the door.

"Did you know your brother is a drunken talker?" Michael asked "and let me tell you he talked about you a lot and it was not very kindly at all"

The words had stopped Jackson in his tracks "My brother?"

"Lewis Avery" Michael said "one of my closest friends and has been since we roomed together in Med School".

Jackson could feel the panic in his chest. The world could not be this small. It was statistically impossible.

"You know he's coming here in a couple weeks?" Michael asked "I invited him to stay with me since his brother seems to have turned his back on him completely"

Jackson went from an indifferent dislike for Michael to a full on contempt.

"You look rattled" Michael said with a smirk.

"Get out of my office" Jackson told him.

The two were still facing off when a voice appeared behind Jackson

"What's going on?" Mark asked.

Turning around quickly Jackson tried to change his face to a smile as quickly as possible.

"Nothing, just going over some details for my surgery with Dr. Holt tomorrow" Jackson said.

"The name's Michael Holt"

"Mark Sloan" the two men shook one another's hand.

"I can expect to have that release on my desk first thing in the morning, right Dr. Avery?"

"Of course" Jackson said. Another pained smile and with a goodnight Michael exited Jackson's office.

"Did I miss something?" Mark asked.

Mark Sloan POV:

Mark could tell by the looks of Jackson, that something was very wrong with his boyfriend. He seemed pretty upset and if Mark hadn't been worried before, he definitely was worried right now.

He waited, until this Michael was definitely out of sight, before closing the door behind him and looking at Jackson.

"So? What just happened?" he demanded to know.

Jackson gave him a weak smile. "Nothing. We just weren't the same opinion about the surgery tomorrow, but we talked it out. It's fine now."

Mark rolled his eyes. He could tell that Jackson was flat-out lying to him right now, and he hated it. Jackson wanted him to be honest, but he himself couldn't do the same? Couldn't be honest with Mark?

"You don't look fine," he replied, because he didn't want to go like a bull on a gate.

"It's okay, really," Jackson said, not even bothering to look at Mark. "He's just... an asshole... Just like I expected him to. No surprise Derek doesn't like him. I think he means trouble."

"And you know that because he didn't agree with you on a surgery?" Suspiciously, Mark raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think you're a bit quick with judging?"

"No!" Jackson blurted out, and it was obvious that whatever this other Doctor had said or done, it made Jackson jumpy and nervous.

Sighing, Mark took a step towards Jackson and put his arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug.

"It's okay, baby. Really. I'm here... you can talk to me, if you want to, and if this idiot said or did something to hurt you, I might have to hurt him." He let go of Jackson just enough to be able to touch his face. "You're usually not that upset about a simple surgery. So what's wrong?"

"Mark... I... I can't..." Jackson replied, biting his lower lip. "This has nothing to do with you and I don't want you to get in between."

Mark laughed sarcastically. "You know what? I am already in between. And if you haven't noticed yet: I'm your boyfriend and I thought you know that you can tell me anything."

He didn't want to sound so bitter, but since it wasn't the first time Jackson kept something from him, it slowly but surely started hurting. He didn't know what else he had to do to make Jackson see that he wanted to be there for him as much as Jackson had been there for him over the past few weeks and months.

"I know... and I'm really sorry, but this is something... I just can't. Why can't you just accept it? Stop pressuring me." Jackson replied.

Mark stared at him, partly surprised, partly shocked. "Oh... now I'm pressuring you by being concerned? Well, thank you." he shook his head in disbelief. "You expect me to tell you everything... you go behind my back even though I tell you to give me time and space because you want my best and you expect me to just stand by and watch you suffer? That's not how this works, Jackson." He spoke louder than he intended to, but it just upset him so much that Jackson wasn't talking to him.

"I thought we are partners. Partners who can be honest with each other... but obviously I was wrong," Mark went on, feeling his chest tighten. He didn't even want to think about it, but he couldn't help asking himself if Callie maybe had been right. If Jackson really wasn't right for him. He loved him so much, but he hated the feeling that there was something like a wall in between them. A wall he wasn't able to break.

"We are. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have forced you to tell me about your nightmares and such... I know it was a mistake. I should have given you the time you needed instead of going behind your back," Jackson said, obviously trying to distract Mark by starting another conversation. But it didn't work on Mark.

"We're not talking about me right now. We're talking about you," he clarified. "I know that there is something wrong with you... that there is something going on... since a couple of weeks you've been acting really strange sometimes. Like that one time when I walked in on you talking to someone on the phone. I could see that you were lying to me, but I didn't want to upset you even more, so I backed out and thought you would come to me by yourself. But I was wrong."

"Mark, please. It's really nothing. No big deal. There is nothing for you to be worried about," Jackson tried again.

Mark looked at him, and a thought crossed his mind. "Are you cheating on me, Jackson? Is that the reason this Doctor Holt was so upset as well? Because he caught you?"

"What?" Now it was Jackson's turn to look shocked. "What are you talking about?"

"Well..." Mark started. "First... you don't sleep with me anymore."

"But wasn't that part of our game?" Jackson stated, moving closer towards Mark. "You know I'm really crazy for you and I would sleep with you at least five times a day, if we didn't have this arrangement. I thought that's what you wanted."

"I did... but I didn't think it was so easy for you. You seem like you can just brush it off whenever we start talking. It's not that easy to cool down again for me as it seems to be for you," Mark said.

"It's not." Jackson gave back. "Really, Mark. If you knew how often I just wanted to..." he leaned forward until he reached Mark's ear, slowly nibbling on his earlobe. "How often I wanted to rip off all your clothes and ride your big cock... but I didn't want to lose our game. I've always been a player."

Mark felt shivers running down his spine and he slung his arms around Jackson's waist. "Really? There is no one else? I mean, maybe you decided you'll rather go with girls again."

"No!" Jackson assured him. "I'm happy with you and there is no one else. No guy and no girl. You're the only one that I want. The only one that I need." One of his hands slid down Mark's back and grabbed his butt cheeks. "I want you so much, it drives me crazy." he whispered into Mark's ear. "Three fucking weeks... twenty-three days and seven hours since we last had sex."

"You're counting?" Mark asked, feeling slightly amused.

"See?" Jackson looked up at him. "See how much it affects me? I'm even counting the days, and it gets harder to resist you every day." he grabbed Mark's hand and placed it on the bulge in his jeans. "Harder... and harder... and harder..." he said in a voice that drove Mark up the wall.

"Oh god!" he pressed out, lifting Jackson up and placing him on his desk, before throwing everything on it on the floor. "You really want me?"

"Oh yeah," Jackson replied immediately. "I am even willing to admit that I lost, if you just fuck me already. Little Jackson is so hard just for you."

"He's not that little," Mark grinned, while he hustled Jackson's lab coat off his shoulders and didn't waste any time with his shirt. He let his hands slide underneath it and pulled it off Jackson's body within seconds. "God, you're so beautiful." he said, enjoying the view for a couple of seconds, before leaning forward and capturing Jackson's lips with his own. Everything else was long forgotten. He waited for this more than three fucking weeks and he needed to be close to Jackson right the fuck now.

Jackson Avery POV:

Kissing Mark helped him block out everything else.

It was comforting and familiar.

Wrapping his legs around Mark's waist he pulled the older man closer. "I've been thinking about this for so long" Jackson whispered in his ear "I'm surprised you could never tell".

Looking at Jackson Mark was breathless, his lips wet with saliva and more then anything Jackson wanted them around his cock as soon as possible. Apparently Mark had the same idea, because he was already working on Jackson's zipper.

"I was too busy fantasizing about this moment to see how bad you needed this" Mark said "I wish you would have told me sooner, my imagination can't even compare to the real thing"

Smiling at the comment Jackson lifted his hips as Mark pulled down his pants. Leaving him in a blue oxford shirt and matching blue boxers.

"Lock the door" Jackson said "wouldn't want nobody walking in unannounced"

With a frustrated sigh Mark walked away from Jackson and quickly locked the latch before moving back between Jackson's legs. Placing his hand on the smaller man's waist Mark yanked him close and began to kiss him roughly. Pushing forward Mark now lay on top of Jackson and moving his kisses from the man's lips to his neck to his chest Mark captured the man's nipples in his mouth. Swirling his tongue around them he smiled as he felt them harden. Whoever said men weren't sensitive there was an idiot. The bucking of Jackson's body and the pleading and desperate sounds coming from his lover told a different story.

"Mark" Jackson whispered harshly "I need you"

"You got me" Mark told him "I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll be seeing stars for a week.

Jackson's body responded to Mark's words. He wanted him with a wanton need. The two were good here and Jackson wanted to remind Mark of that. The man digging into Jackson's problems would only lead them both down a path that both would regret.

Sex was a distraction that Mark would go for. There would be no more questions that Jackson couldn't answer.

Feeling Mark pull down his boxers Jackson lifted his hips to allow the man to remove them.

"Will you look at that" Mark said with a smile as he looked down at Jackson's erection "how I missed it" and leaning down Mark kissed the head.

"Don't tease me" Jackson said jokingly.

"I wouldn't dream of it" Mark said and licked the underside of Jackson's cock, sending the man falling back onto the desk. Swirling his tongue around the shaft Mark licked the tip just before engulfing it completely.

Mark's mouth felt like heaven. Warm and wet. Just the most perfect thing in the entire world and Jackson wanted nothing more then to get lost in the feelings it created within him.

Looking down at Mark he could see the salt and pepper hair as it bobbed up and down. The sound of suction surrounding them both. Placing his hands on the top of Mark's hair he rubbed it gently as the man got more and more into it.

After several moments of Mark's mouth the man lifted up off Jackson's erection and wiped off the pre-cum that continually streamed out of it away.

With a smile that Jackson was sure should be classified as illegal he smeared it over his index finger and leaning back down he took Jackson's cock back in his mouth before inserting a finger into his opening.

It had been a while for Jackson, so the sharp burn was still there. Relaxing his body he concentrated on Mark's blowjob and as Mark put a second finger in he felt himself becoming re-accustomed to the sensation.

"More, Mark" Jackson said "want you in me, now" he said and he meant it. He wanted all of Mark. He wanted Mark to remember that Jackson was his and despite his need to keep secretive it would never change that fact.

After Mark had worked his third finger in and felt Jackson was loose enough for him he stood up and pulled Jackson back towards him.

He grabbed a condom and rolled it over his erection, before he leaned over Jackson again.

Kissing him Mark worked his tongue inside of Jackson's mouth "I love you so much" Mark said in between kisses.

"I love you too" Jackson told him "more then anything"

Feeling Mark breach him he lifted his leg and wrapped it around Mark's waist as his hand held strongly to Mark's back. With a gasp he felt Mark start to move slowly. Taking careful steps to insure that he was not hurting Jackson.

Mark worked a little more of himself in with each thrusts.

"Are you okay?" Mark asked and it reminded Jackson so much of their first time. This was different now, though. They were together. Officially and completely.

"More then okay" Jackson smiled up at him and feeling Mark thrust in completely it sent Jackson's mind into overdrive.

"You feel so tight, baby" Mark said "so fucking tight" and as the pace increased Jackson bucked his hips up to meet his lover's thrust.

Nothing existed outside of them right now. No Lewis, no Michael Holt, and no crippling fear that threatened to suffocate Jackson at any given moment.

Mark had grabbed a firm hold of Jackson's erection and Jackson felt himself get so close.

"Mark I-I'm going to-" Jackson warned. He was fighting so hard to make this last as long as possible.

"Do it, baby" Mark said, a sheen of sweat on his forehead as he continued to thrust quickly. At Mark's command Jackson felt the tightening of his balls and once he closed his eyes and saw the stars that Mark had promised he released on his stomach and Mark's chest.

He felt himself tighten around Mark and it caused the man to move even faster and soon after his release Jackson's felt Mark's.

After he finished riding the orgasmic wave Mark collapsed onto Jackson's body.

"That was worth the wait" Mark said with a wide smile.

"Agreed" Jackson told him as he kissed the top of his head. Mark had forgotten their argument and now lay with Jackson in blissful companionship.

Jackson's plan had worked.

Mark Sloan POV:

Mark closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Jackson's heartbeat. He had missed this so much. Had missed him so much. He still wasn't totally sure what it meant, though. Did Jackson reallyonly love him?

He got up a little bit to look Jackson in the eye, abstractly stroking his short curls and his cheeks.

"What?" Jackson asked with a smile, before moving upwards slightly as well.

"Nothing," Mark replied. I'm just looking at you... and asking myself how I deserve you again."

Jackson looked at him with a strange look on his face. One, Mark couldn't really interpret, and all of a sudden he seemed so distant. They just had sex and now it felt like the wall was in between them again.

"Maybe we should..." Jackson started, turning away. "Maybe we should get cleaned and go home..."

Surprised, Mark tilted his head. "Now?" he couldn't believe what Jackson just said and he didn't understand why Jackson was closing down on him again. Why he was obviously shutting him out.

"Okay, fine," Mark stated once Jackson didn't answer and moved backwards from him. "Do you have any..." he asked, pointing at him, and the traces of their encounter.

"Yeah... yeah, sure..." Jackson nodded, getting off his desk and opening a drawer, before throwing some wet wipes at him, which Mark caught with one hand and started cleaning himself up, disposing of the condom while Jackson did the same.

He couldn't understand how they had gotten in this situation, and even though it maybe wasn't Jackson's intention, Mark felt kind of used right now.

"Why did you just sleep with me?" Mark demanded to know once his clothes were back in place and from the shocked look on Jackson's face he could tell that the younger doctor didn't expect for Mark to ask this question.

"What?" Jackson asked back.

Mark bit his lower lip. "You understood me. Why did we just have sex?"

Jackson tried to smile, but again his smile wasn't a real one. His smile didn't reach his lips. "What do you think?" he asked, moving towards Mark. "Because I love you. And I missed you. Because I needed you."

When Jackson tried to get a hold of his hands, Mark moved a step back. "Wrong answer."

"What are you talking about?" Jackson gave back and if Mark didn't know him this well, he would have almost... almost bought his innocence. But he wasn't that stupid.

"You used me. I do believe you that you love me, but that wasn't the reason you just slept with me, even though I was too happy to see it at first," Mark stated. "You did it to shut me up. You did it to stop me from asking any further questions." As much as he wanted to, he couldn't hide the pain in his voice, because it just hurt. He wasn't that guy anymore, he has learned his lesson, but Jackson just turned back time and got him back to being his former self. The one he was so happy he got rid of. The Sex-Maniac who didn't care about anything but fucking.

"That's not true," Jackson tried to object, but Mark just knew it was.

"Yes it is," he replied because of that. "And I don't really know how to deal with it." He shook his head. "You know why I started this game in the first place? The one with us not having sex?"

Jackson looked pained. "Why?" he asked.

"Because..." Mark started. "Because I didn't want another relationship based on sex. Starting out with only sex. I know we started out with sex, but every time I did that, it didn't really work in the end. Not with Addison and not with Lexie... I didn't want to make the same mistakes ever again. Especially not with you."

He leaned against Jackson's door, glad to have this kind of distance between them right now, because he just couldn't deal with the fact that Jackson just used sex to make him forget anything they talked about before.

"I wanted us to be a real couple. To do normal things... like cooking together, watching a movie, cuddling in our bed or in front of the TV. I wanted to really be in a relationship with someone for a change. Of course including sex at some point, but I didn't want to rush it, and look where it got me." He felt his chest tighten. "Now you are using sex for your advance, because you know exactly how much I love sex and how important it always had been in my life. That really hurts."

"Mark, I... I didn't mean it that way. I really missed you," Jackson tried again, and part of Mark wanted to believe him. And part of it most likely even was true. He believed Jackson that he missed him, but what hurt him was, that it wasn't the main reason for Jackson to do what they just did. Distraction shouldn't be the reason to sleep with each other.

"I missed you, too. But I could have survived another couple of days... even weeks... without sex, if that would have brought us closer together, but right now?" He felt a lump in his throat. "Right now I feel like we're drifting apart. You start keeping things from me. You're not willing to tell me anything... give me anything I can work with. Instead, you're lying to me. I don't know how this thing between us will ever work if you go on like that. I thought I've showed you more than once that I really trust you and that I rely on you. Why can't I have the same from you?"

He moved a few inches towards Jackson until he was standing in front of him. Softly, he touched his cheeks and looked at him. "I love you so much," he whispered. "And I will fight for you. I will do anything to make this relationship work, because you mean the world to me... and if you don't trust me enough already, I will try my best to show you, that I won't go anywhere, no matter what. That you are the one that I want and that I don't care about the past." He leaned forward, kissing Jackson's forehead. "Something is keeping you from fully confiding in me. From trusting me completely, and for now... for now I accept it. But in the long run, we will have to find a solution for this, because I don't know if I can deal with it forever."

He looked Jackson in the eye for a couple more seconds, before closing the distance between them and kissing his lips. Softly. Gently. With all the love he had for him.

"I'm not willing to give up on us, no matter how far you're trying to push me away. You won't get rid of me that easy, do you understand?" Mark asked seriously.