A/N: 3 comments? Awwwwwwwwww! We're so happy you still all like the story and well, it makes us proud, because this story is somehow our "baby" and we love it… we even love the characters we sometimes "hate"… like Michael… and maybe at some later point in the story he can redeem himself, but for now, you're allowed to hate him as much as you want, because well… there's a lot to come with this guy… and with Lewis…

By the way… we pictured Lewis "portrayed" by Michael Ealy – just in case you want a face to the name, because we both love him and we thought it would completely fit… both pretty as hell (Jesse and he), both dark skinned with bright eyes… so yeah… If you need pictures – as already mentioned – feel free to ask us for links… :-)

Chapter 21 and 22 will be without Mark (SORRY!), and not so much Jackson, but this is also important for the future storyline, because it's all connected, so I hope, you can bear with us ;-)

And now – have fun with Chapter 20… your comments made us decide we already want to give you the next one XD

Mark Sloan POV:

Mark opened his fridge, turning to Derek who was sitting on his couch. "Want another beer?" he asked his best friend, who nodded immediately.

"Yes, please!" Derek shouted at him.

Mark came back with two bottles of beer and opened them before reaching one of them to the other doctor.

"What is wrong with us and our significant others?" Mark sighed, shaking his head.

"Shouldn't we be with them instead of each other?"

Derek smiled at him. A very sad smile. "Yeah, definitely. I was looking forward to spending the evening with Meredith and Zola, but instead I'm in your apartment, getting slightly drunk already. Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Us getting drunk?" Mark grinned. "I don't think this has ever been a good idea."

They had crashed at Mark's place after Mark had found Derek again in the hospital after his fight with Jackson. They had collected Zola and Sofia from the day-care and had watched them play together in Mark's apartment, but the girls were long asleep, and so Mark and Derek had decided to enjoy each other's company with a few beers, until Meredith would call for Derek to come home. He never knew these days when his wife was home after all, because she worked a whole lot.

Meredith had just called to tell Derek that she wouldn't be home tonight, because she would spend the night at April's. Girl's night or something like that.

"Do you really think Meredith is with Kepner?" Derek asked doubtful.

"Where else would she be?" Mark countered with another question.

"I don't know," Derek replied, shrugging.

"Wait," Mark put a hand on Derek's arm, causing him to look at him. "You don't think she's with Holt, do you?"

"I don't know. Seriously, I don't know... a couple of weeks ago I might have said 'No way, she's my wife and she knows it' but I don't know if she still feels that way." Derek looked down on his hands. "Maybe with me not being able to operate again, she isn't that attracted to me anymore."

"Come on, don't be stupid," Mark blurted out. "Who would replace a man like you? You're awesome."

"Yeah?" Derek asked doubtful.

"Yeah!" Mark confirmed immediately. "And you being a surgeon is not all you are and that's maybe one of the many reasons Meredith loves you, but not the only one. Just look at you. You're damn hot. You're McDreamy."

A small smile crossed Derek's lips. "You think I'm hot?"

Mark rolled his eyes. "You know I do. Would I ever have slept with you if you weren't?"

"Now you're getting crazy," Derek laughed. "That was decades ago. I was still young and pretty back then."

Mark looked at him seriously. "You're still young. And you're still pretty." he assured Derek, knowing he needed that right now. Plus, the alcohol already started to make his head a little dizzy and whenever he started drinking, he also started talking. Mostly the truth. "The women are still turning their heads for you and even Kepner had a huge crush on you a while back."

"But that was before the plane crash," Derek objected. "Maybe it's not the same if I'm not a doctor anymore."

"But you still area doctor." Mark grabbed Derek's hand. The one that was hurt so badly in that plane crash. "There are scars, yes, but your hand looks so much better than it did a couple of weeks ago. And I just know that you will be back being the awesome surgeon you were. Just like me." He looked him deep in the eyes. "You will be back," he told him slowly, still not letting go of Derek's hand. "You're gonna be fine."

"And what if there is no place for me anymore then?" Derek sighed, and Mark immediately knew what he was talking about.

"This Holt guy can kiss my ass," Mark stated. "I don't really know why, but I feel like something's up with him. And even though he's good, he's not you. Hunt won't just replace you; he's your friend too. He's not like that."

"Oh, you think so?" Derek replied. "I think otherwise. He would have made me replace Altman in a heartbeat if this other doctor would have taken my offer back then when I was chief."

"Come one, Derek," Mark started again. "This was something completely different. He did it because he was attracted to her and thought he could get rid of her like that."

"Where do you know that from?" Derek looked curious now.

"From Teddy herself. She told me about her and Hunt on one of our dates and well... I put the pieces together. I'm sure that was the reason for him wanting Teddy to leave. He wouldn't do that to you. And if he did, I would have to kick him in the balls. Hard."

"You would do that?" Derek asked with a smile on his face. The first real smile this night.

"Of course," Mark clarified. "Like we've always stood up for each other since we became friends again." He put an arm around Derek's shoulder gently. "I won't let that happen, do you hear me? You're not going anywhere."

"I'm not going anywhere," Derek replied, leaning his head against Mark's.

Mark knew he was only like that when he was tipsy, but in this moment he didn't care. He was glad he could be there for his best friend and forget his own problems for a little while, even though they were still clouding the back of his mind, but Derek managed to distract him very well.

When Derek turned his head to look at Mark, Mark did the exact same thing the exact same second and all of a sudden their faces were very close.

"I think I should..." Derek started, not ending his sentence.

"Yeah... maybe you should," Mark replied, biting his lower lip and moving slightly closer to Derek.

"You are drunk," Derek stated, causing Mark to grin.

"You are drunk, too" He placed the hand not around Derek's shoulder on his cheek. "Maybe this isn't a good idea."

"It definitely isn't a good idea," Derek agreed with him, placing one of his hands on Mark's thigh and with the other, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer.

For a moment there Mark felt like they were back in high school, drunk and horny, about to ravish each other, and there was the same gleam in Derek's eyes. He closed his eyes and all of a sudden feeling Derek's lips on his, soft, gentle, almost careful. And that was the moment he woke up. They both woke up.

They tore apart, sliding away from each other immediately.

"This is wrong," Derek blurted out, causing Mark to nod immediately.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm sorry... I told you this isn't a good idea." Mark replied with a sly grin.

"It wasn't..." Derek laughed out loud. "For a moment it felt like back then in med school, though."

"You felt that, too?" Mark asked.

Derek nodded. "Yeah... but we are grown ups now. And even when we are drunk, we should be able to keep our fingers off each other, right?"

"Right!" Mark clarified. "Because we're both in a relationship, even though we have problems. That's not the way to fix them."

"Glad we agree on that. And can I tell you something?" Derek looked at Mark.

"Of course," Mark answered.

"You have changed so much. A few years back... even months... you wouldn't have hesitated a second to seduce me and try to sleep with me in a situation like that. But it just shows how much you love Jackson."

"I do," Mark nodded, leaning back against the couch and taking a sip of his beer. "And even though I still think you're hot, Jackson is the only one I wanna kiss... and touch... and suck... and..."

He was cut off by Derek mid-sentence. "Too much information," he laughed, grabbing the remote of the TV and turning it on.

He found a soccer game on one of the foreign channels and they decided to watch it together since Derek would stay here for the night anyways, and the later it got, the more tired Mark became. He had problems, keeping his eyes open much longer, so he decided it was time to go to bed, but when he tried to move, he felt the weight of Derek's head against his shoulder. Derek had already fallen asleep and Mark didn't want to wake him.

'Whatever', he thought, moving slightly so he was able to lay down on the couch and pulling Derek with him. They were friends after all, and there was nothing wrong with sleeping together on the couch. He managed to get the TV turned off and it only took him a couple more seconds to drift off to sleep.

Jackson Avery POV:

Jackson looked back at Michael briefly as the man smiled at him. He had set this up and Jackson had fallen for it. Jackson watched him take off his jacket and sit it on the back of his recliner.

"Why don't I give you two some time to catch up?" Michael said and made his way towards one of the back rooms.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be here for another two weeks?"

"Change of plans" Lewis responded as he stood and walked around the bar to pour himself another glass "I need to consult with Dr. Lee about this Sloan guy"

At the mention of Mark's name from Lewis Jackson immediately felt sick to his stomach. This was going to happen… Mark was going to meet Lewis and there was no way he was going to be able to stop it.

"If I didn't know any better I would think you aren't happy to see your older brother" Lewis chuckled.

"Why would you even take this case?" Jackson asked. "You knew I lived in Seattle"

"I did" Lewis told him "and mom also told me you seem to have a pretty decent set-up too" walking up to his brother Lewis handed him the glass of scotch he had made for the man. "A nice job with a group of friends and even a nice little girlfriend"

Lexie

Jackson's mother probably had no idea how drastically things had changed since she had last been here to see her son.

"Lexie is gone" Jackson felt the pangs of her loss whenever he spoke her name. It was something he was expecting to live with the rest of his life.

"Something tells me that hasn't stopped you from moving on though, has it?" Lewis asked "it's just a fact that Jackson Avery's bed doesn't stay empty for long".

"Fuck you"

Lewis smiled at his brother "I see it's true".

It hadn't even been 10 minutes and already Lewis had gotten under his skin. How would he possibly survive the foreseeable future with him working at Seattle Grace?

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Jackson asked.

"You know why"

It was going to happen again. Lewis was going to come here and destroy his life and then Jackson would have to move to some other city and try to start all over again. He was getting so tired of starting over.

"Drink your scotch Jackson; it's what you're good at" Lewis said before downing his own glass of it.

Jackson looked down at the brown amber he couldn't deny the temptation, but no, he wouldn't do it.

Sitting the glass down on a nearby coffee table he looked up at Lewis "I probably can't stop you from doing whatever it is you're going to do, but I'll be damned if I'm going to make it easy"

"Of course you will Jackie" Lewis said "easy is your middle name"

Refusing to be baited into an escalating argument Jackson walked to the door and was about to open it before he heard Lewis speak.

"You are careful out there; it's not safe if you don't know who to trust".

45 minutes later and shaken Jackson found himself standing outside Mark's apartment. He hadn't even expected to go there, but he found himself driving in its direction and the closer he got the more centred he felt.

Their argument still played in his head and Jackson knew he had a lot to answer for, but right now he just wanted to see Mark. To know that at least for the time being Jackson could know he had him.

Being almost 4 in the morning Jackson decided on using the keys Mark had given him in case of emergencies. The man may not qualify Jackson's current situation as an emergency, but Jackson sure did.

Opening the door Jackson tried to remain as quiet as possible. With all the lights out and the television off he was pretty sure Mark was asleep. He was about to walk through the living room and into the bedroom when he saw the two large shadowy figures nestled together on the couch.

It took a minute for his eyes to adjust and even longer for his brain to register it.

Mark and Derek lying together, closely and contently.

He saw that the two men were fully clothed and he highly doubted anything beyond what he was witnessing was going on, but the way they melded into one another told Jackson all he needed to know.

Suddenly he felt like the intruder he was. He shouldn't have come here and getting out as quickly as possible was his only goal.

The longer he stayed, the more he felt like he was suffocating.

Going out into the hallway he had just locked the door when he heard Callie behind him.

"Kinda early for the walk of shame, isn't it" she laughed. Turning around in surprise he saw the woman about to enter her apartment holding a bag of bagels and some juices.

"No, I-I'm not-...I'm sorry" he said keeping his head down and away from her. He felt so young and stupid at the moment. Just as she must have always seen him. He started to walk down the hall when he heard the woman call for him.

"Jackson, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay" he said and it was another smile for another lie.

Wait a minute" she told him as she made her way towards him. He was starting to panic. He didn't really want to get into anything with the woman in the middle of the night. Not after the horrendous 24 hours he had.

"You don't look like it" and although Jackson was not looking at her he could feel her gaze scrutinizing him "Walk with me" she said and started to head back to the elevators.

"I should really get home… it's been a long night"

Callie put a gentle hand on his shoulder "I just want to have a conversation, that's all".

Nodding his head Jackson finally looked up at her "Okay".

The two had found a bench just outside of Mark and Callie's apartment building. It was an unusually nippy morning and Jackson was surprised at how cold he felt.

"So" Callie said "what's going on?"

"Nothing" Jackson told her "just a bit hectic at work is all"

"Yeah" Callie looked at him "and I'm just tired, or I'm trying to figure things out, and my personal favouriteI'm okay, but if you need to talk about something, I'm here"

"

What?" Jackson asked.

"The old deflection technique" Callie said "I had become a master at it"

"I really am okay"

"No you're not" Callie told him "because nobody who is sneaking out of the person they love's apartment at 4 in the morning is okay, no matter what they say"

"I didn't want to wake him...he looked busy" and the image of Mark and Derek popped back up.

"Busy doing what?" Callie asked "counting sheep?"

Jackson couldn't tell her. Derek was never a viable option for Mark. The man was committed to his wife; no matter what problems they were going through, but he knew if the choice was Callie's she would choose Derek over Jackson for Mark in a heartbeat.

So would Jackson if he was being truthful with himself.

"Jackson, honesty goes a long way with Mark" Callie spoke "how can you expect this thing between you two to work if you can't even be honest with yourself"

"I'm sure us working out is a major concern of yours" Jackson spouted before he could stop himself and looking up at the woman he was horrified "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean that"

"That's okay" she told him with a smile "I deserved it...it's not as if I've been your biggest fan"

Jackson looked down at the ground and shrugged his shoulders "You have your reasons"

"The main one being that I love Mark and I at least need to know the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with"

"You know me" Jackson told her.

"Do I?" she asked "I know Jackson Avery, grandson of Harper Avery and son of Catherine Avery...but it ends there"

"What else is there to know?"

"Who you are" she started "what makes you tick and why you feel this need to create whatever persona you have been giving us all these years"

"What are you talking about?" Jackson asked as he sat up straight. He was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"The charming smile and surface layer emotions for starters" she turned around to face him "I've been there Jackson. I spent my life turning myself into what my parents wanted me to be, because I hated myself too much to be anything else"

Her words felt like punch. "That's not me" Jackson told her "I'm not like that"

"How can I ever trust you with Mark...with my daughter, if I can't even trust you enough to be honest with me"

"You don't get it" Jackson said "you found Robbins and she loved you because she knew who you really were"

"Mark can be that for you" Callie told him as she grabbed his hand "you just have to give him the chance"

"No" Jackson said "I'd disgust him and he would know you were right about me all along"

"Jackson I-" she started to say "do you really hate yourself that much?"

He felt like everything inside of him was falling apart "Yes" he told her. He couldn't stay here, not if he wanted to keep whatever little bit of dignity he had left.

Before she could speak he took off down towards the exit path way and it wasn't until her voice was drowned out by the passing cars that he finally stopped.

He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have let her see him in that moment of weakness.

Jackson just wanted to get home and taking out his cell phone he called Alex. The man wouldn't be happy that he had to drive out and pick Jackson up in the middle of the night, but Jackson knew he would do it anyway.

Callie Torres POV:

Callie looked after Jackson for a while, even though she knew he was long gone. It had hit her like a rock how similar he was to her in some things. She would have never expected an outcome like that from a talk with Jackson. When she had started talking to him, she didn't know what she was getting into, but somehow she was glad she did anyways.

The woman knew she had been more than a little unfair to Jackson lately, but she already told Jackson why. Because she was so worried for Mark to get hurt again, and obviously her concerns weren't for no reason. Still, she was now sure that Jackson never wanted to hurt Mark, and that he did it because he tried to hide a part of himself.

Just like Callie had been doing for years.

The more she thought about it, the more she realized how long she had played a certain role. To her family and to the people around. Because she just wasn't ready to accept herself for what she was. Because she was afraid that she wouldn't get accepted if she would just be herself. But she was wrong. God was she wrong.

Yes, her finally admitting to herself that she was bisexual and in love with a woman took a lot of her. Especially, coming out to her parents, and her mother still didn't accept Sofia and she still didn't really talk to her, but if that was the price for her being happy, she was more than willing to pay it. Because at least her father was having her back and that was some kind of solace, even though she missed her mother sometimes.

Sighing she got up from the couch and looked at the apartment building. Maybe it was time to talk to Mark, even though she didn't have any idea what exactly she wanted to tell him, but she couldn't accept Jackson's escape like that. She needed to do something, because she could see how much Jackson loved Mark and that he really wanted this relationship.

She made her way into the building and went up with the elevator until she was standing in front of Mark's apartment, when Jackson's words came back to her mind.

"I didn't want to wake him...he looked busy"

What did Jackson mean by that?

Carefully, Callie opened the door of Mark's apartment, knowing that it almost never was locked anyways, and the way Jackson left, he of course wouldn't have thought about locking again, right?

Right.

When the door swung open, Callie knew she had been right.

She entered the dark living room and tip toed towards the couch where she saw them. Mark and Derek. Very close to each other. They almost looked like they were cuddling, something Callie used to do with her best friends when she was younger. Or something she would do with Arizona. Or even with Mark sometimes, but Mark wasn't that much of a cuddler. Most of the time.

A sigh left her lips. Of courseJackson had to get the wrong impression after witnessing something like that, but Callie just knew without even asking that there was nothing going on.

Jackson didn't reallythink Mark had an affair with Derek, right? That was just really stupid and if he knew the two of them knew each other almost since they were born he wouldn't assume something like that. Mark and Derek were like brothers.

Okay, apart from that one time during Med-School Mark had told her about one evening, but it hadn't meant anything. They loved each other, but they never were in love, and that was a difference.

Callie had no idea how long she was just standing there without moving when she all of a sudden heard some noises. Mark and Derek started to move and a couple of seconds later Mark was sitting up, rubbing his eyes, while Derek's head sank down in his lap.

"Hey, get off me old man!" Mark complained and this comment seemed to wake up Derek as well.

"Hey!" he bumped Mark in the ribs. "Who do you call an old man? Didn't you tell me last night that I'm still hot?"

"You are. But not with a breath like that and hair like this," Mark replied, causing Derek to let out a moan.

"What's wrong about my hair?"

Callie had to smile about the situation. That was so typical them, and they were so busy with themselves that they hadn't even noticed her yet. So she cleared her throat to get their attention.

Both men twitched in unison, staring at her through the dark, before Mark turned on the lamp on one side of the couch.

"Callie. What are you doing in my apartment?" He looked confused, and Callie could totally understand that, because well... she was standing in his living room in the middle of the night. Of course that had to look strange.

"I was just on my way to my own apartment when I met Jackson in the hallway." Callie explained.

Mark stared at her. "Jackson is here?"

Callie nodded slowly. "Well... he was... he has already left, and now I know why." She pointed at Derek and Mark. "He has seen you."

"Seen us?" Derek asked, tilting his head.

"Well... cuddling on the couch," Callie replied.

"We weren't cuddling, I don't do cuddling," Mark objected, running a hand through his hair. "Nothing happened. We fell asleep on the couch while watching TV."

"Exactly," Derek agreed with him. "Do I need to talk to Avery?"

Callie shook her head immediately. "No... No, I doubt that's necessary. I mean, it's not like he caught you naked in Mark's bed or something like that. I'm sure deep down he knows that nothing happened."

"Good..." Derek replied, getting off the couch and looking at Mark. "I should probably head home before Meredith gets home. She should have the day off, and maybe I'll get her to spend the day with me and Zola."

"I hope so," Mark nodded, watching Derek making his way to Sofia's bedroom and coming out of it a few seconds later with a very sleepy Zola on his arm.

"It's okay, sweetie, you can sleep again soon," Derek told his daughter softly and she was just leaning to him, letting out a yawn. Derek grabbed his coat and slid into his shoes before turning back to Mark. "See you soon, okay?"

Mark nodded. "Sure... take care of yourself."

"You too!" Derek said and left Mark's apartment.

Callie let out a sigh and fell down on the couch next to Mark. "I thought he would never leave," she joked, causing Mark to chuckle.

"Come on, you like him," he said, turning to look at her. "But honestly. What are you doing here?"

"I just told you..." Callie replied immediately. "Jackson has seen you and Derek and he seemed very upset. But I doubt it was because of this situation. At least not only."

Mark bit his lower lip. "I think you're right... but I tried to talk to him already a dozen times and he just won't confide in me. He just won't talk to me," he said, feeling the despair welling up within him again. "I don't even know what to do anymore. Sometimes I'm even asking myself, if..." he stopped himself and turned away, but Callie wouldn't let him get away with it that easy.

"Asking yourself what?" she demanded, putting a hand on his cheek and turning his head to look at her again.

"I don't know... I just don't know," Mark sighed. "I don't know if it's worth it. Maybe you were right, Cal. Maybe I should have kept my fingers off him."

"No, I wasn't," Callie replied immediately. "I wasn't right. I'm not perfect and sometimes I make mistakes. Telling you to get rid of him was one of them. I don't know what's going on with him, but he loves you, that's for sure."

"What?" Mark stared at his best friend in confusion. "Are you defending him? Are you reallydefending him? I can't believe it."

"I... I'm..." Callie started, but realized only a few seconds later that Mark was right. That she indeed was having Jackson's back, and she didn't even know exactly why. "I guess I am," she finally said. "Because I think I did him wrong. He is suffering, even though he wouldn't tell me what's wrong with him, but there is something within him and it's eating him from the inside out. He needs you Mark. Just give him time."

"Wow," Mark blurted out. "From all the people you were the least I expected to have Jackson's back." He sighed. "I know something's wrong, I'm not stupid, but how can I help him if he doesn't tell me what's going on?"

"Just be there for him. Show him that you love him and that you're willing to wait. The less you pressure him, the more he will be willing to let you in. Believe me I know what I'm talking about." A small smile crossed Callie's lips. "If it wasn't for you, I might be a very unhappy woman today. You made me realize what has always been there deep down inside of me. That I like women as much as I like men. If you hadn't made me kiss Erica back then, I wouldn't be married to the most beautiful woman in the world right now. I might have married Owen or such."

Mark laughed out loud. "Owen?" He shook his head. "What makes you think that?"

Callie giggled. "I don't know... maybe because we both wanted kids and such... at some point I might have hooked up with him... who knows..." She shrugged. "But because of you I'm free now. Free to be exactly who I want to be. And if you give Jackson the time he needs, he might get to that point too."

"Maybe you're right, it's just... pretty hard to watch him suffer and not being able to help him." Mark admitted.

"I know." Callie replied. "But I'm sure it will be worth it." She pulled Mark into an embrace. "It's gonna be fine."

She felt Mark leaning into the embrace and for once she really hoped her words were true. She just really wanted Jackson to fix whatever problems he had, because he had really grown on her and he reminded her a lot of herself in her younger days. And she knew Mark was happy with him. Maybe happier than he had ever been in a relationship, so she was sure it was worth fighting for and hopefully the two of them - Mark and Jackson - would realize that too.