To The Journey

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

Chapter Thirty-Four: Her Father's Daughters

"Doctor?"

"Mr. Tuvok, what can I do for you?" The question was half a formality and half his way of making it expressly clear who had power in this situation. He knew Tuvok didn't need medical treatment. He'd been expecting this visit for awhile.

"I wish to discuss your away mission in the Alpha Quadrant."

The Doctor smiled a little. "By which you mean your daughter's involvement."

He raised an eyebrow a little but didn't deny it.

"As I said, she crawled out of a Jeffries tube and took charge. Would I be correct in presuming that she was offered the position directly out of the Academy?"

"Yes. In fact, her appointment was one of the last pieces of news I recieved from my family before our transport into the Delta Quadrant."

"I can certainly see why they broke that unwritten rule of Engineering Corps." His face softened. "She's a wonderful young woman, Mr. Tuvok. You should be proud."

"I do not feel pride. But I am gratified to know she is well."

"Is she the only one of your children in Starfleet?" the Doctor inquired. Despite four years on the ship, he felt like he knew virtually nothing about this man's life outside of his duties.

"That is a more complicated question than I believe you intended to ask."

It was the Doctor's turn to raise an eyebrow now. "Really? Seems straightforward to me."

"Families are not always as straightforward as they seem."

"I'm intrigued. Tell me more."

Tuvok shrugged, seeing no real harm in it. "In addition to my daughter, my wife and I have three sons, as you know. None of them has shown any interest in Starfleet."

"That sounds simple enough."

"Some years ago, when Asil was a child of four, my wife and I fostered a fifth child. She is also a member of Starfleet."

"And here comes the complicated part." He was smiling now. "You adopted her?"

"Not formally. She came of age less than a year after she began living in our home. But she had no other family, and she began to consider us a sort of family. I grew to consider her as one of my children."

The Doctor smiled. "What's complicated about that? You made her a part of your family. Don't tell me no Vulcan has ever done that before."

He hesitated a brief second. The only other person who knew about the intricacies of the situation was Neelix, and that hadn't been by his choice; the accidental melding of their bodies due to a transporter accident had caused them to share memories, and they had never spoken of it once the accident had been reversed. "Can I count on your confidence, Doctor?"

"I'm a physician. Keeping secrets is part of the job."

He nodded a little. "When I first brought Tasha in, my wife was fully supportive of my decision. But in the end, she came to believe the idea had been misguided. She does not consider Tasha a member of our family."

The holographic man smiled sympathetically. "That must be hard for you."

"It has caused more problems with Asil than with myself. I do not require my wife's consent to mentor her, or to maintain contact with her. But Tasha has been a part of Asil's life since she was very young. Asil looked up to her for most of her childhood. She does not understand as I do, and I believe she sees her mother's rejection of Tasha as a betrayal."

"I can't say I blame her."

"There are aspects to this that only T'Pel, myself, and a scant few others know. She has reasons for doing what she has done."

"What reasons?"

"I cannot tell you." This was one of his greatest secrets, something not even their children were aware of, and he certainly wasn't going to tell the Doctor, however certain he was of the holographic man's ability to keep a secret. "I am sorry."

"That's quite all right." The Doctor seemed to spend a few moments flailing for something to say before finally settling on "Anyway, you have a wonderful daughter."

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"You have another letter, Mr. Vulcan. And I promise I didn't read this one."

He took it, trying to maintain his patience with Neelix. Somehow, Starfleet had found a way to transmit a data stream through the same array they had used to send the Doctor to the Alpha Quadrant. Neelix had been handing them out, but had gained the ire of the Vulcan Chief of Security by reading a letter Tuvok's wife had sent him. "But I suppose you did determine the sender?"

At least the smaller man had the grace to look sheepish. "A Lieutenant Asil. Your daughter, I presume?"

"Yes." He took it from Neelix. "Thank you. Is there anything else?"

"No. I get the hint." He scurried out.

Tuvok held the PADD in his hand for a long moment, thinking. While he could never say Asil was his favorite - favoritism would not be logical - it was true that he shared a connection with his daughter that he lacked with his sons. She was the child most like him in temperament. Then he looked down to read what she had to say.

My Father,

I was gratified to hear the news that you are alive and well, or so your ship's doctor has told me. I regret that I will have to limit the length of my message, but I have agreed to allow Tasha to use some of the space allotted to me, as she has far more to tell you than I and Starfleet would not allow her to send you an independent message.

The only news I have for you concerns my position. Following my finding what my superior termed a "creative solution" to a problem with a new class of starship, I was taken onto the personal team of Captain Scott, the leader of Engineering Corps. I have also, if the EMH has not told you, been promoted to Lieutenant Junior Grade. I have attempted to reconcile with my mother, but my success in reaching a compromise has been limited.

Though I have not joined her, I have said my own prayer, that you return to us soon.

Your daughter,

Asil

Tuvok scrolled down a little to the second message, which was far longer. This one had no greeting at all.

I have so much to tell you, and so little space to tell it in. I'm not even sure where to begin, but I guess I'll start by telling you my biggest piece of news. As of three days ago, I'm married. I'm sure this comes as something of a surprise to you - I know I'm still trying to fully process it myself - but I'm happy, and Data is a good man. I trust I don't have to give you more than a name for you to know exactly who he is, and as I said, space is limited. Suffice to say, android or no, he knows me in a way no one else does, and I'm as sure as I've ever been about anything that he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

There's more I want to tell you though. I wasn't sure how to put all of this into words, or even whether I should tell you at all, but Asil thought I should. You know that my father died when I was five, and I barely remember him. There have been several people in a position to be a father figure, but no one has accomplished it the way you have. The truth is, I have called you my father, only to myself, for many years now, but it never seemed the right time to tell you. But after years of thinking I'd never get that chance, I had to take it as soon as it came, whether or not the time seemed exactly right. I hope someday I can call you my father to your face. I hope that when I do, you won't stop me, won't correct me. You're the only father I've ever really known. I love you as my father, and even though I know you'll never say those words, you love me in your own way. You've shown me more times than I can count. I would like nothing more than to have your official recognition as your daughter.

Tasha Yar

He set the PADD down and picked up another one. He had been writing a reply to his wife, but this one seemed more important. It was only logical to prioritize it.

xxxxxxxxx

"Lieutenant Carey!"

Voyager's Assistant Chief Engineer all but leaped to his feet. "Here!" He took the letter from Neelix, grinning ear to ear. "It's from my wife!"

Heedless of the many other people around, he flopped into the nearest chair.

My dear Joe,

I can't believe you're really alive. I actually thought Command was playing a joke on me when they first told me; it took them almost ten minutes to talk me around! Don't think I'm sorry though. I just needed to be sure it was really true, that I wasn't getting my hopes up for nothing.

First things first. You have another son. Joseph Michael Carey Jr. was born on September 27th, 2371. Yes, you read that right. I know we joked about him being born on your birthday, but I didn't actually expect it to happen! And I didn't forget that you hadn't wanted to name him after you, but he came out on your birthday and looked so much like a miniature version of you, and I had just lost you - it was something I just had to do. I hope you understand.

"I do, Leah," he whispered, wiping his eyes fiercely with his hand so he could keep reading. "Oh, God, I do."

George is a wonderful older brother. Those two are inseparable, and they both look so much like you. I wish they'd let me send a picture, but they said they didn't have the capability to do it. When I'm around them, it makes me miss you a little less.

I spent a long time debating this, but I think it's only fair I tell you the truth. There was someone else, someone I was involved with when I thought you were dead. I'm so sorry, darling. The only thing I have to say for myself is that I really, truly believed you weren't coming home to me. If I'd thought you were still alive out there somewhere, I would never have done it.

I don't want a divorce or anything like that. He broke it off before I could, as soon as I told him you were still alive. He doesn't want to come between us, and I swear to you that I will wait faithfully for you from this day forward. I swore to you on our wedding day that it was until death do us part, and I don't intend to go back on that. Not ever. I love you and miss you so much. Please try to come home soon.

All my love,

Leah

Tears splashed onto the screen. It stung him that his wife had been with another man, but at the same time - some of his colleagues had recieved outright Dear John letters, including, if rumor was to be believed, Captain Janeway herself. Leah was loyal to him, she would wait for him now.

And his son. Even though the rational part of him had known he had left Leah five months pregnant, that she would have had the baby long ago, reading it in print was something else.

Joseph Michael Carey. He wanted to read his son's name until it was inscribed in his brain for eternity. He wanted to scream it out to the entire mess hall, to hack into the comm system and tell the entire ship he had another son. But he knew that was unlikely to be appreciated. He'd have to settle for telling anyone and everyone who crossed his path.

xxxxxxxxx

"Come in."

The first thing Tasha noticed when she stepped into Geordi's room was the music playing. Near as she could tell, it was another of the selections they had brought back from twenty-first century Earth, but she didn't really have a chance to hear it before her attention became focused on the room's occupant.

He looked up at her. "Hey. I didn't realize you were back already."

"For a couple of hours now. Do you have any clue what time it is?"

"Not off the top of my head." He was playing with something between his fingers.

"It's almost 2000 hours."

"Wow." He shook his head. "Guess I haven't been paying much attention."

"Will mentioned you've been holed up in here pretty much nonstop since the wedding. What's going on?"

"It's nothing." He shook his head a little. "You should be with Data."

"Data and I have been together nonstop for a week. Don't get me wrong, familiarity hasn't bred contempt or anything remotely like it. But I think we can stand to be apart for a little while. Besides, Data wanted me to come see you."

"He did?"

"He's worried about you. So am I."

In the silence that stretched out after that remark, she finally really heard what it was he was listening to.

And now it's over, I'm awake at last
Old heartaches and memories from the past
It was just another dream about my lost love
About Leah.

"That's it, isn't it?" she said aloud as it hit her.

"What?"

Tasha only nodded to the speakers in response as the music emanated from them.

Here I go
Back to sleep, and in my dreams I'll be
With Leah
Leah
Leah

"I guess you know by now, huh?"

"About Voyager? Yes, I know." She didn't see anything to be gained from telling him she'd known a day before he had. "So her husband -"

"Alive." That was choked. "I know I shouldn't be upset that someone's alive, especially a guy with two little kids, but - damn it! I loved her. I finally had her. I was going to -"

"What?" she prompted.

He finally opened his hand and let her see what she was holding - a ring. "I picked it up on our last shoreleave. I needed all the help I could get to make sure I'd get one she'd actually like - it can be tough when you can't see colors - but I felt like it was all worth it."

"You were going to ask her to marry you," Tasha realized.

"At the wedding. Not to be a spotlight hog, but it just seemed so perfect. Then she wasn't there, so I was getting ready to plan some other occasion, and then this -" A choked sob escaped him. "I miss her."

"So you sit in here playing music with her name in it over and over again?"

"Among other things. This Roy Orbison guy's got some unbelievable stuff about lost love. But this one , what with her name and all - I can't help being drawn to it. To be honest, I'm looking forward to getting back to work. At least I'll have something to do."

"Why don't you come to dinner?" It was out of Tasha's mouth before she'd thought it through. "Data and I haven't eaten yet - if you wanted to -"

"You sure? I don't want to be a third wheel."

"Sure. We have to have our first houseguest sometime, and I can't think of anyone better suited."

He managed a little bit of a smile. "Well, okay then."

xxxxxxxxx

Geordi hadn't been expecting to start crying in his best friends' living room. He'd actually been feeling better. But something - he wasn't even sure what - had triggered a sudden wave of renewed pain, and before he knew it he was in tears, sobbing with every bit of heartbreak that he had built up over the past week. He felt Data's arms around his shoulders and was grateful for it.

"Hey," he whispered once he'd composed himself, "I'm sorry. I really didn't think that was going to happen."

"It's okay." Geordi hadn't even realized the hand on his back wasn't Data's, but the voice apparently attached to it proved otherwise. "I can tell you're hurting."

"I love her so much." He dropped his face into his hands. "I miss her so much. I really am sorry. You two are so happy, and me - I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be happy like that."

"Do not ever worry about that." Data's voice was gentle with care but firm at the same time. "You have stood by both Tasha and myself countless times. I believe I speak for both us when I say that you are welcome to the same care from us."

"You do."

Something that might have been a smile quirked across his lips. "Well, I might not have any luck with women, but no one ever said I didn't know how to pick my friends."

I know the title is really only relevant to the first half of the chapter, but I thought it up early on and kind of got attached. Hope no one minded.

The last bit, with Geordi finally falling apart in Tasha and Data's quarters came to me on the spur of the moment. The rest was more or less planned.

Will we ever find out what caused Tuvok's wife's behavior? The answer is eventually, but not for awhile. Guesses are fine but I doubt anyone will get it, in consideration of which I will give basic yes-or-no answers to direct guesses or questions. The only thing I'll say is that I alluded to it way back in Perfectly Logical, in terms of something that is unusual about this particular couple, but a large piece of the puzzle is yet to be revealed.

Most of this chapter is based on the Voyager episode Hunters. The song "Leah" is a real song, Roy Orbison, the artist, is a real person (in my opinion possibly the greatest singer who ever lived), and he did have many, many songs in his repertoire about lost love (among other things, he outlived two wives, so he had some experience with the subject). One of his songs was actually featured in the movie First Contact, so it doesn't seem unrealistic to think that Cochrane had a collection of the man's music, and that if he gave them music as I said he did, those songs would have been among the collection.

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