A/N: Aaaaaaaaand another chapter of our wonderful guys… the next 2 will be mostly about Alex, Lewis & Jackson again, so I hope, you can forgive us… and yeah… they will be „M-rated" again… other than this one, but the more chapters are coming, the more you will find out what happened in the past of Lewis and Jackson and why the two brothers don't „get along"…

I know you all hate Michael right now – but he has his reasons, and so has Lewis… of course that doesn't justify everything they did or are still doing, but there is a deep hurt in Lewis, and he just can't "shrug it off"…

Enjoy Chapter 24… We hope, you had a nice Christmas Day with your loved ones 3

Jackson Avery POV:

Jackson was going to lose everything. He could see it coming and no matter what he did, or whose thumb he was stuck under, it was going to happen.

His father used to say you can't hold the ocean back with your hands. As a kid Jackson never understood the words, but now? Now it made far too much sense. The water always slipped through your fingers and eventually left nothing but the destructed remains of what used to be a life you thought you were worthy enough to have.

Jackson had no doubt that Michael would make good on his threat of letting Lewis know about Mark. Holt was loyal to Lewis, but the man's interest still came first. So he would use Jackson to get what he needed first before telling his brother everything.

Jackson was going to have to betray Derek, Mark's best friend, to save his own ass. It wouldn't be all bad for Derek, though. He could have a good life outside of Seattle Grace. He was a world-renowned Neuro surgeon and if his hand got better he would have enough offers to fill a stadium.

It would be okay in the end. Mark would understand why Jackson had to do it. He would do it for he and Mark and that had to mean something.

That excuse still didn't make Jackson hate himself any less, however.

At least he wasn't alone in his hate...that was a silver lining.

He opened up the case file that he had been working on before Lewis had arrived. Work could at least distract him for a little while.

He was just going over the patient's history when he heard his phone buzz, indicating he had a text.

Jackson,

I'll be having lunch in your office tomorrow. Make me something good. I hear you're a fantastic cook.

Michael

"Go fuck yourself" he typed out and was a second away from sending it before he stopped himself. He had rules to follow, so erasing the message he simply typed "Okay" and sent it over. Shutting his phone he swivelled his chair around and looked out his window at the view of Seattle.

The city was filled with so many people. A million different stories were being played out and suddenly Jackson had never felt lonelier. He wanted to talk to someone.

Someone who he could let all his frustrations out and know that the person on the other end of that conversation wouldn't hold anything against him.

He wanted to talk to Mark. Their night of doing nothing but having dinner and watching movies together had seemed like a lifetime ago. It was one of the best nights of Jackson's life and the man would give up anything to have that one more time.

He couldn't go to Mark now. Mark would demand answers; in all honesty he was owed answers. His trust for Jackson was getting pulled to its limits and if Jackson went to him. Told him about Michael and what he and his brother were putting him through Mark would want to know why. He would deserve to know why and that was something Jackson just couldn't do.

Alex was far too angry to listen to anything Jackson would have to say, let alone care about his problems and April was pregnant and the last thing Jackson was going to do was unload his problems on her. She had more than enough to deal with.

He had to fight this alone. It wouldn't be the first time and probably wouldn't be the last. Turning around he laid his head on top of his desk. The wood felt cool against his skin and looking at his cell phone he contemplated throwing it across the room.

As he tried to clear his mind suddenly a thought popped in his head. There was somebody who he could talk to. Somebody who had seen him at his absolute worst and still loved him enough to help.

Getting up out of his chair he ran over to his door and locked it. Walking back to his desk he swiped the phone from his desk and putting his back against the far wall he slunk to the floor. He wanted to make himself as small as possible.

Dialling the number he held the phone close to his ear and prayed he would pick up.

"Hello" Tyler said and his voice sounded upbeat and happy. Jackson found himself unable to say anything for the first few moments.

"Hello?" Tyler asked again.

"Hey Tyler" Jackson answered, his own voice small...almost a whisper. As if he was scared that somebody was listening outside his office.

"Jackson...what's wrong?" It never did take the man long to know that he wasn't in a very good mood. It's what helped them remain happy together for 3 years.

"I just wanted to talk to you" Jackson looked up at his desk and around the room. From this angle it didn't look nearly as small as most thought it to be.

"Lewis arrived?" Tyler asked and the concern in his voice was the first crack in Jackson's resolve.

"Yeah" he told Tyler "he's not very happy with me"

"I'm going to call him" Tyler said "he needs to let this go"

"Don't" Jackson sounded urgent. If Tyler called Lewis it would only make things that much worse "I just… I don't know"

Tyler sighed empathetically on the other end of the line "Don't let him make you doubt yourself Jackson"

"He does a very good job of it, though" Jackson tried to follow the remark with a laugh "I feel like..."

"Like what?" Tyler asked.

"Like I used to feel back in L.A."

"No, Jackson" Tyler's voice suddenly sounded strong "you're past that, don't let Lewis make you return to the man you used to be. You haven't needed those kind of things in years. You're stronger then that"

"I don't know if I am" Jackson answered honestly.

"You are" Tyler didn't have a shred of doubt in his voice and it made Jackson feel better then he had in a long time.

The two remained in comfortable silence until Tyler's upbeat voice came back "Did I tell you I'm thinking about getting a hamster?"

Jackson couldn't help his laugh "You've never been good with animals"

"I'm pretty decent" Tyler chuckled "I mean, sure our goldfish died the same afternoon we got it, but I think hamsters are much more resilient"

"I think it would be best if you think about it a little longer" Jackson could feel himself working his way out of his dark cloud "maybe just start with a picture of a hamster"

"That's cold, Jackson" Tyler said amused.

"You know I'm only trying to help" Jackson stretched his legs. The tension in his body was almost completely gone.

"Maybe you're right" Tyler said "I was only thinking about getting it because the animal store guy is pretty hot"

"There we go" Jackson laughed "trying to pretend like you turned animal lover"

After the two recovered the two fell back into silence.

"Why don't you come down to Miami for a while?" Tyler offered "I have more than enough room and I think it might be good for you"

Jackson couldn't lie and act as if the offer wasn't tempting "I've run enough, Tyler" Jackson said "You said I'm strong enough to stick it out and I'm going to give it all I go"

"That's my boy" Tyler told him "but the offer is always there... just in case"

"I know and you don't know how much it means to me"

"I love you, Jackson" Tyler's tone was sincere "you make sure and take care of yourself"

"I love you too, Tyler" Jackson put his head against the wall "and I will... promise"

When Jackson hung up he was amazed how different he felt. He could beat this and he could keep Mark. Standing up he brushed himself off and walking over he stood in front of his door and unlocked it.

Tyler believed he was strong enough and Jackson was going to prove him right.

Mark Sloan POV:

The talk with Callie had felt good. Really good, Mark had to admit. After Jackson had brushed him off like that in front of his brother, Mark had felt taken aback completely. And it had hurt him, but maybe Arizona was right. Maybe Jackson hadn't told him he had a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend yet. Maybe Jackson hadn't told it to anyone besides his closest friends. And actually, neither had Mark, but he didn't want to hide anymore.

Still, after talking to the two women he probably loved most in his life - apart from his daughter - he felt a lot better.

Callie had been so excited about Lewis, almost more than he had been himself, but he had a pretty good feeling. He could tell that this Lewis Avery must be one of the best if Hunt hired him. With the recommendation of Doctor Lee, that was, but Mark trusted him enough to know he wanted his best for him.

Never before had Mark been more positive that everything would turn out good and he would be back on track soon. He would definitely fight and work his ass off to be in surgery again in a couple of months, maybe weeks. He couldn't wait for it, actually. Couldn't wait to work with Jackson again. He missed it a lot. He missed the hospital a lot.

Mark took a quick look at his watch before he made his way to Jackson's office. He knew Jackson had been pretty busy before, but his shift should be over soon, so maybe he could take him home, cook dinner with him and have a nice, quiet evening.

There was so much he wanted to tell him. So much he wanted to ask him. If Jackson was up for it. He wasn't sure of it, if he was honest to himself.

He was just about to open Jackson's office door, when it swung open by Jackson and Jackson ran into him. Like really ran into him and bringing Mark to fall with being so turbulent and landing on top of him.

"Ouch," Mark commented, trying to get up just enough to look Jackson in the eye.

"I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Jackson started until he realized it was Mark who he ran over. "Oh, Mark... didn't expect to see you here."

Mark smiled up at him. "Me neither... I didn't know if it was safe to show up here again, but I needed to see you. And I normally love it when you're this wild, but that really hurt." He sat up so Jackson was sitting in his lap.

"Sorry..." Jackson hurriedly got up and offered Mark his hand, which Mark grabbed. He let Jackson help him to his feet and still held his hand for a couple of seconds afterwards.

"No, I'm the one that has to say sorry," Mark finally replied.

Confused, Jackson looked up at him. "You? Why?"

"Because I shouldn't have just assumed that your whole family knows about us. If you hadn't reacted so quickly, I could have brought you in a pretty bad situation. Heck, I could have outed you in front of your brother... I stepped a line there." Mark apologized, watching Jackson turn his head away.

"It's... no big deal..." Jackson said, and he sounded kind of strange. Really strange. Like something wasn't right.

"Are you sure?" Mark asked, fighting back the urge to touch him. To touch his face and look him in the eye.

When Jackson looked back at him finally there was a smile on his lips, but it wasn't real. Again. Like so often lately. Mark let out a sigh. He definitely didn't want to get in another fight with him, so he decided to just let it go.

"Okay..." he just said, looking around. "Were you on your way to a patient?"

Jackson nodded. "Actually, I was... last patient for today."

"Good." A smile appeared on Mark's lips. "What do you think if I we go to my place and have dinner together? We could cook and just have a nice quiet evening, just the two of us." He moved a little closer to Jackson. "I... I miss you... I miss us... I don't wanna fight all the time, Jackson. I just wanna be with you like we used to be."

He looked Jackson deeply in the eye. "Remember this one evening where we were just a normal couple? With eating and watching TV and just being us?"

"Yeah... of course," Another smile appeared on Jackson's lips and this time it was a real one. A genuine one.

Mark had to use all his willpower not to kiss him right then. Not to push him against the wall and press his lips against Jackson's. He was so beautiful when he smiled.

"I want us to work on this relationship... I want us to work out. It hurts me that since we've been together we fight more than we ever have before. I don't want this anymore," Mark admitted.

"Me... me neither..." Jackson replied, but there was some kind of insecurity in his eyes.

When there were voices around them, Mark realized that they were still standing in the hallway, and so he softly pushed Jackson inside of his office and closed the door behind them.

"Listen, Jackson," he started. "I love you. And I know you love me to, so why can't we push aside our problems for just a bit and enjoy what makes us fall in love with each other in the first place?"

Gently, he placed a hand on Jackson's face and leaned down to kiss his forehead, touching Jackson's nose with his own, gently rubbing his face against Jackson's and then hugging him. "I need you so much right now. And I will probably need you a lot more in the future once I start my therapy."

He let go of Jackson just enough to be able to look him in the eye again. "Your brother said that it might be difficult in the beginning. And that there could be steps back. That I will probably be in pain. And then I need you." He bit his lower lip, not really wanting to admit how scared he really was. "He also said that it could be possible that his therapy won't work, but that he's positive. And I try to be too. Because I wanna be back soon. I wanna work again. I wanna operate again and I really want us to be partners here as well."

He grabbed one of Jackson's hands, squeezing it. "Working with you became one of the best things in this job and ever since I started teaching you, I am a happier person. It makes me so proud how good you became."

"Yeah... but only because you challenged me so much and you believed in me. You never gave up on me... remember when my mother came to this hospital and wanted me to get off your service? To do something other than plastics?" Jackson looked at Mark and Mark looked back at him.

"How could I ever forget that?" he smiled.

"You stood up for me. You thwarted her and this meant... so much to me... I felt so appreciated. Like you really meant every word you said." Jackson admitted.

"I did. And I still do. I wouldn't have let you take over plastics in my absence if I didn't. Seriously, Jackson, I can separate my job and my private life, and if I wasn't totally convinced that you could pull this off, I would have asked Owen to hire someone else. Like he did with Holt, because there was no one who could take over for Derek." he said earnestly. "If I had any doubts that you could do it, you wouldn't be the head of plastics at the moment, but I don't, and you're doing a damn fine job. And you're not even an attending yet."

"Thank you, Mark. I really appreciate that. I really appreciate that you have so much faith in me." Jackson replied.

Smiling, Mark let go of me. "I do..." He took a quick look at the door. "And I've kept you away from your work long enough now. What do you think I go get some groceries and we meet at my place? And then we cook dinner together and watch a movie. And then I'm gonna make love to you. How does that sound?"

He really missed Jackson, just like he said. He knew that pushing away their problems - even if only for the moment - wasn't the best way, and it definitely wasn't a solution at all, but he just needed a moment of happiness for the 'darker times', since he knew they would come back eventually. He needed something to remember. A moment worth to remember, a moment he could cling to when he doubted his relationship with Jackson again. To remember that he was worth fighting for.

Jackson Avery POV:

Jackson looked at Mark then briefly down the hall before he pulled him in for a hug "I think it sounds amazing". Mark returned the hug and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you" Jackson said quietly "I know I've been… distracted these past few weeks, but you won't ever have to doubt that"

"I know" Mark said "I wish you would let me help you, but if that's hard right now I'll just wait until you're ready"

Jackson didn't deserve him. Not in any small fraction, but that wouldn't stop him from fighting for Mark with everything he had. "Let me lock up and we can head out" Jackson told Mark and headed into his office to grab his coat. As he walked backed to the door where Mark was waiting for him Jackson was just about to turn off his office lights When Alex appeared besides Mark.

"I need to talk to you" Alex said to Jackson "alone".

Alex looked as if whatever he wanted to say was trying to work its way out of his body and it took the man everything in him to hold it in as long as he was.

"Everything okay, Karev?" Mark asked concerned.

"Yeah, I just need to talk to Jackson" Alex gave him a look that told Jackson it was in his best interest to get Mark out of ear-shot as soon as possible.

Mark looked at Jackson with a weary look. If Jackson wanted the man to stay Mark wasn't going to go anywhere.

"It's okay" Jackson said to Mark "I'll catch up with you in the lobby"

"Alright" Mark responded "take it easy Karev" and after getting a grunt in return Mark shrugged his shoulders and made his way down the hall.

Making room for Alex to walk into his office Jackson let the man in and closed the door to give the two some privacy. Jackson didn't really know what to say. Their last interaction went about as bad as one might imagine. To even see Alex willing to talk to him about anything was surprising.

"What do you need Alex?" Jackson tried to sound calm. He was looking forward to having a nice, relaxing evening with Mark and another argument would only put him in a bad mood.

Turning around Alex stared at Jackson "How's the brother?"

Taking in a breath Jackson knew this was going to be bad "Alex I-"

"I kept thinking to myself" Alex said aloud "why in the hell would Jackson be so against this guy he had never even met before? I mean Jackson is pretty reasonable, so what could this dude have possibly done?"

"I wanted to say something but-"

"But what?" Alex asked "You thought telling your best friend that he was fucking your brother was useless information?"

"You made a mistake" Jackson said "Lewis is very good at telling people exactly what they want to get what he wants". Jackson took a step towards Alex "You and April can still come back from this"

"April?" Alex' faced contorted into one of confusion "What in the hell does she have to with any of this?

Jackson couldn't hide his shock "You still haven't talked to her?"

"It's over, Jackson... there's nothing else we need to say to one another"

Jackson felt as if his chest was growing tighter "That's not true"

"It istrue" Alex said "I'm going see where this thing with Lewis takes me"

"You can't be serious"

Alex shook his head angrily "I am and I love you enough to give you the head's up... something you couldn't give me"

"What are you talking about?"

"That phone call I asked you about" Alex said "that was Lewis that called, wasn't it?"

Jackson's silence was all the answer Alex needed. "I told you that there was nothing you couldn't tell me, man" Alex said "the things I let you in on... I guess it's good to see how one sided that trust goes" walking past Jackson Alex yanked the door open.

"Alex!"

Turning around Alex gave him a bitter smile "Just think about it Jackson" he said "Between you, your brother, and your mother everyone in this hospital will get fucked by and Avery sooner or later"

The remark felt like a punch to Jackson's stomach. If he let Alex leave here and go to Lewis, which he was sure was the man's destination; Jackson wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

"I beg you Alex" Jackson said "just go home and give her 5 minutes"

"No!" Alex yelled "this is the last time we are going to discuss this. I don't owe her the luxury of hearing her out. We don't share a mortgage, kids, we don't even share a dog"

The moment Alex mentioned kids Jackson had to look away and he knew it was a stupid move almost instantly.

"Jackson?" and now Alex's voice had lost all anger and behind it just laid curiosity.

Jackson had screwed up and he prayed April wouldn't hate him for it.

"Look at me, Avery!" turning his head towards Alex Jackson looked at his friend "Please go and talk to her"

"She's… she's not?" Alex looked as if he might faint at any minute and running over Jackson placed a hand on his shoulder.

Stepping away from Jackson Alex went back to the open door "How could you not tell me?"

"It wasn't my place" Jackson said "I thought I was doing the right thing"

"Like you even know what that is anymore" and without another word Alex stormed out. Leaving Jackson standing alone in his office.

It took Jackson 10 minutes to gather the strength to head towards the lobby. He wanted to go and try to get Alex to understand, but he knew now that was only in the hands of April.

Walking towards the lobby Jackson hoped Mark was serious about having the night just be theirs. He wanted that small window of time to forget how quickly it was all slipping away from him.

Jackson turned the corner and seeing Mark he was just about to call his name when he caught sight of Lewis standing across from Mark trying to get Sofia's attention while the little girl lay in Callie's arms.

Jackson froze in place. Fear instantly making him sweat and he almost ran back in the other direction before realizing how much attention that would cause.

"She's adorable" Lewis said with a wide grin "I see she gets her looks from her mother" and with a boisterous laugh Callie nodded her head "I knew you were a smart man the second I met you" she said to him

"Oh, hilarious" Mark said with mock annoyance, but the grin on his face told Jackson that the man was just as charmed as Callie was.

Jackson felt his heart sink into his stomach.

"I have no idea why she's so shy" Callie said as she tapped the girl's arm which caused her to burrow her head even further into Callie's shirt.

"Probably just had a long day" Mark said "you know how fussy she can get"

Jackson could already see it happening. Mark and Callie were getting enthralled by Lewis. It was hardly surprising, his brother always had a knack of getting people to like him.

He knew how to read people and give them exactly what they wanted.

"Jack… Jack"

Jackson was still lost in thought when he heard Callie's voice getting higher.

"What was that, sweetheart?" Callie asked as she held her daughter up, only to have the girl turn her head around to face a bewildered Jackson.

"Jack" she said again and everyone's attention turned towards the man standing across the room.

Being caught off guard Jackson quickly pasted a smile on his face and walked towards the group.

"Hey everybody" he said casually and noticing Sofia reaching her arms out for Jackson he looked at Callie as the woman handed her daughter over to him.

Cradling the little girl in his arms Jackson saw her smile up at him and he could feel his heart skip a beat. She really was one of the most precious kids he had ever seen.

"I could have sworn I heard her say…" Mark let his sentence drift off "I must be tired myself"

Sofia's attention was drawn to the zipper of Jackson's jacket and holding it in her fingers she moved it up and down continuously.

"Jack-son" she said again, but it seemed as if she was saying it mostly to herself.

"Oh my god" Callie said as she ran over and stood beside Jackson "She did it, Mark...she just said her first word".

The two parents ran over and engulfed Jackson and Sofia in a hug.

"I can't believe it" Mark exclaimed and looked at his daughter then at Jackson. At any other moment the look would make Jackson weak in the knees, but with Lewis standing there it only left him terrified.

"You're her first word?" Lewis said and he smiled at his brother. Jackson knew the man was slowly putting the pieces together and holding Sofia a little tighter his heart started thumping in his chest.

"I… I guess" Jackson said as he looked down at the girl.

"I guess all those days of having her sit in Mark's office as you two went over your surgery schedules finally paid off. It was bound to either be Jackson or facial reconstruction" Callie said with a laugh and looking at the woman Jackson watched her give him a quick wink.

She had just covered for him and it killed Jackson that Callie would never know how much that meant to him.

"Oh" Lewis said with the slightest hint of disappointment.

"I should really be heading off" Lewis said "it was nice to meet you Callie and you too Ms. Sofia" he walked around and stood next to Jackson.

"I need to talk to you" he told Jackson politely. Shaking his head Jackson handed Sofia over to Callie and held her hand a second longer then normal.

Walking out of the exit doors the two brothers stood side by side in the Seattle heat.

"You aren't making it easy" Lewis said "I was almost positive it was that Mark dude"

Jackson kept his face forward. If he reacted now Lewis would know it for sure.

"I should have known better, though" Lewis threw an arm around Jackson's shoulder. He knew that it was only to show Callie and Mark how close they supposedly were.

"Somebody like Mark Sloan would know trash when he sees it" Lewis wrapped his arm around his younger brother's neck and pulled him in close.

"He hasn't seemed to catch your scent yet" Jackson responded and the grip got tighter.

"Oh boy, Jackie... it's going to be so bad for you" releasing his hold Lewis walked into the parking lot. Turning around Lewis looked at Jackson one last time before going to his car.

"Congrats on being that adorable girl's first word... I'm sure she'll come to be ashamed of that fact in time"

"Night, Lewis" Jackson said "By the way, Tyler says hi"

Lewis' stopped in his tracks and if looks could kill Jackson would be dead where he stood.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Jackie"

"I'm looking forward to it"

Then getting into his car Lewis sped off and Jackson finally released the breath he didn't know he was holding.

Mark Sloan POV:

Mark still couldn't believe what had just happened. Sofia had said her first word and not any word, he had said Jackson... of course not the right way, but it was still more than clear that she had intended to say his name, and Mark was very proud of it. This was a sign. A good sign. His little daughter loved his boyfriend just as much as he did.

She didn't seem to like Lewis, though, and Mark had no idea why. She normally was a very friendly kid and didn't shy away at all, but with Lewis she did. It confused Mark quite a bit, but he was way too happy to give it a proper thought.

"Guess that means welcome to the family with Jackson, huh?" Callie's voice pulled Mark out of his thoughts.

Immediately, Mark turned to her, a smile crossing his lips. "Yeah... I guess so... if that's okay with you?"

"You really love him... I can see that now... and he really loves you, too. I'm... I'm sorry that I... acted the way I did," Callie replied. "I should have given him a chance. I should have been more tolerant towards him. More understanding."

"It's okay, Callie. You know I had my problems with Arizona at the beginning as well..." He scratched the back of his head. "Or actually, she had a problem with me, but that doesn't make a difference, because in the end we buried the hatched... and so did you and Jackson... what you just did for him was incredible."

"What?" Callie asked surprised, causing Mark to smile.

"You backed him up... you lied for him in front of his brother, because you somehow knew that Jackson hadn't told him about us yet." Mark gave back.

"Well... I assumed he hadn't from the way he looked and I thought it was the best to step in," Callie admitted. "I definitely didn't want to cause him any trouble, and I know how difficult it is if something like that gets out without you having any do in it. I don't want for Jackson to come out to his brother like that. He should have the opportunity to tell him himself."

"Yeah..." Mark said, letting out a sigh while watching Jackson and Lewis on the outside. "I just hope if he does one day, Lewis will accept our relationship."

"Oh come on," Callie shook her head. "Don't be so modest. Lewis likes you already, so why wouldn't he accept a relationship with his brother?" She laid an arm around Mark's shoulder. "He's gonna be happy for you two... I just know it." Gently, she kissed Mark's cheek, before passing him by.

"I'm gonna find Arizona now and then I'm gonna bring her home and have a nice, quiet evening with her. With her and our daughter. Maybe Sofia will talk again," Callie smiled, looking at Mark. "Of course if that's okay with you."

Mark tilted his head. "Why wouldn't it?"

"Because it should have been your evening with Sofia," Callie replied immediately.

"Oh yeah... right... that... I actually almost forgot about that when I planned an evening with Jackson and would have asked you if you could take her anyways, so it's perfect." He leaned forward, kissing Sofia's forehead. "And you little lady, be a nice little girl and don't cause your mommies any trouble, will ya?"

As if Sofia had understood, she nodded her little head in acceptance, before Callie finally went away.

When Mark looked outside, he noticed that Lewis was also already gone by then, and so he made his way outside and stopped next to Jackson.

"Ready?"

Jackson twitched. He obviously hadn't seen or heard Mark coming, but then he turned around and looked at him.

"Yes, sure," he replied, seeming so distant all of a sudden again.

Mark let out a sigh.

"Are you alright?" he asked carefully, definitely not wanting to fight with Jackson again, but it killed him not to know what was bothering his boyfriend so much. Something was going on, that was for sure, but as long as Jackson wouldn't open up to him, there was no way for Mark to find out what it was.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I've just a lot on my mind lately..." Jackson replied.

"I can see that..." Mark looked around, and when he saw no one nearby, he placed both of his hands on Jackson's hips and pulled him close to his body. "I just hope there is someone you can talk to about whatever is bothering you, even if it's not me. I mean..." Gently, he touched one of Jackson's cheeks, looking directly into his eyes. "I understand that there are some things you just can't or don't want to talk about with me, but I hope, there is someone else you can open up to, because such things can kill you from the inside if not."

"What?" Jackson looked surprised suddenly.

"Well... I think I can accept you having some secrets... I can accept you not completely trusting me yet. I think I still need to earn that trust, and that's okay with me. I just don't want you to... break under the pressure, and I can see that there is a lot of pressure you're under." Mark said, the concern audible in his voice. "It always helps if you have someone you trust enough to open up. So is t here someone like that?"

Jackson shrugged. "Yeah... yeah, maybe." He let out a sigh. "But can we not talk about anything like that right now? You promised me an evening without all those problems... an evening just for us. Does the offer still stand?"

Mark smiled immediately. "Of course it does. I still wanna have all this with you. I think we both need that right now. Today has been pretty busy and I just wanna lay down on the couch and relax in your arms."

Jackson smirked. "I thought you wanted to cook before?"

"I changed my mind," Mark grinned. "Let's just go home, order pizza and watch a movie on my couch. What do you say?"

"I say it sounds like a plan." Jackson replied.

"A plan you like?" Mark asked immediately.

"Oh yeah, very much." Jackson gave back, grabbing Mark's hand and pulling him towards his car. "Tonight will be just about the two of us. You and me."

"I'd love that," Mark said, a smile crossing his lips. "So what are we waiting for?"

"Nothing, let's go." Jackson put his car-keys in the keyhole of his car and opened it and not even a minute later, the two of them were on their way to Mark's apartment.

Mark couldn't wait to finally be alone with Jackson, and he would definitely keep his promise. This night would be about them. Without any questions, without any doubts. He knew that they both needed this. That they both needed this time out. A reminder why they fell in love with each other. An evening where they could just be together and fade out their problems for a couple of hours.

It still hurt him quite a lot that Jackson just wasn't ready to be his completely. That there were things he just didn't know about him, but he just hoped, that Jackson had a friend like he had Derek. A friend he could tell anything, even the things he wouldn't tell Mark. Mark didn't even need to know some of those things, but it killed him to know that some of those things were really stressing Jackson out and he could do nothing about it. That was the worst part of it all, because it made him feel helpless and he could never deal with this feeling anyways. He just hoped it would be over soon and that they would be able to be really happy at some point. Without all the dark clouds over their heads.