To The Journey

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This is an AU story.

Chapter Thirty-Six: Take Your Q From Me

Tasha woke slowly. There was an odd, uncomfortable feeling of being watched, and she knew it wasn't Data watching her either. She sat up warily, keeping the blanket wrapped around her. "Who's there?"

"Well, Tasha, it's about time."

"Q!" She wrapped the blanket tighter around her, more than a little disconcerted. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?"

"Is that any way to speak to a messenger bearing gifts? I have something I want to give you."

"Get. Out."

"You don't even want to know what it is?"

"If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that your gifts come with catches. I'm not interested."

"There was no catch when I saved your precious Lal."

"Only because Data had already done his share. You were paying off a debt."

"And that's what I'm doing now."

"You don't owe me anything. Don't try to confuse me, it won't work." She finally managed to stretch far enough to get her robe and throw it on over her nightclothes. She stood, well on her way out the door.

"Tasha, wait."

She wasn't sure why she stopped, but when she turned back, the look on his his face was the most genuine expression of contrition she had ever seen on him (though that wasn't quite enough to convince her he was for real).

"You really don't remember, do you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. In fact, I don't think you're talking about anything. I think you're trying to confuse me again."

"No." He stood and approached her, but to his credit he stayed far enough back not to invade her personal space. "I'm not trying to confuse you. Something did happen."

"Then why do I have no memory of it?"

"I erased it. I thought it best."

"You - you erased my memory? You're telling me there's a whole part of my life I know nothing about?"

"Not much, and we were outside the space-time continuum. There's no time lost."

"Give it back." Her glare was ice. "Return my memories. Now."

"Are you sure? This is something you might be better off not knowing."

"I said now."

He looked at her, and the contrition was back even stronger. "I'm sorry."

Then he snapped his fingers. Tasha gasped as the flood of memories came rushing back.

It had been a long day, and all Tasha wanted was to lie down. Wearily, she pulled off her jacket and dropped it on a chair in the living room before walking into the bedroom.

She stopped dead and gasped. Her bed had been replaced with something that looked like it had been pulled from a Valentine card. "What the hell?"

"You like it?"

She spun 180 degrees to see that there was someone in her quarters - and it wasn't Data going overboard on some sentimental gesture either. "Q!"

"A bit much, perhaps, but I thought you'd appreciate the gesture. And after all, it's not like it cost me anything."

"What are you doing in my quarters?"

"As strange as this may sound, waiting for you."

"Yar to Security, intruder alert."

"Oh, it's no use. I've taken the proverbial phone off the hook. After all, we don't want any interruptions."

"Interruptions to what?"

"Our night together." He sat down and patted the bed next to him. "Don't be so shy. Come here. Or would you rather put on something more comfortable first?"

He snapped his fingers, and her uniform was instantly replaced by a nearly sheer nightgown. Horrified, she grabbed her robe and threw it on over the offending item. "Are you propositioning me?"

"You don't miss a trick, do you?"

"There are a few things you've missed, however. Like the fact that I'm seeing someone."

He sighed. "Still Mr. Data, I presume."

"Exactly. And I'd never be unfaithful to him and especially not with you."

"Are you sure? I could give you things, experiences, you've never even dreamed of."

"Why are you so interested in getting in my bed anyway? If you can call that thing my bed."

He sighed."Because I want to - no, I need to have a child. And I want to have it with you."

"I can't have children." Hopefully that would be enough to get him out of her quarters.

"You really think a simple injury is going to stop a Q? All I have to do is snap my fingers, and presto! Back to normal. You can have all the children you want."

"I won't say it's not tempting. But I'm not going to have an affair just so I can get back the ability to have children."

"What about getting back a child?" He stood and approached her, running a finger over her face. "How good of a deal is that? I get one child; in return, you get two."

He snapped his fingers, and a baby materialized on the bed. Tasha ran over to it, and her heart almost stopped when she moved the blanket away from its face. "Eva. Eva, my baby, Eva!" Tears of elation poured down her face, but she didn't even notice.

"Perfectly healthy. Just like you've always wanted her."

She reached down to take the baby in her arms, but Q snapped his fingers again and she disappeared. Tasha turned on him angrily. "Why? Why did you take my baby away?"

"She can be yours forever. But you only get my gift if you give me what I want."

"You're saying I have to cheat on my boyfriend or you'll take my baby away?" Anger welled up in her and she swung at him, hard enough to have broken his nose if he was mortal. "What kind of sick monster are you? You're no better than the men who raped me, demanding sex in exchange for that."

Then she collapsed on the hideous bed, her anger draining out of her all at once, replaced by agonizing grief as intense as that she'd felt when Eva had died in her arms so many years ago. She started screaming and couldn't stop, piercing cries coming from the deepest part of her. "Give me my baby, Q," she begged. "Please just give me my baby."

For the first time, he actually realized he might have gone too far. She lay sobbing on the bed, screaming in pain. He had never seen her broken like that - never thought that strong Tasha Yar could be broken like that. He had wanted her because of her strength. What kind of pain must it take to break such a woman that way?

He reached a hand out and gently touched her head. "Sleep, Tasha. Sleep."

He snapped his fingers and she slumped to the bed, unconscious. He kept his hand on her head. "When you wake up, you will remember none of this. You came into your bedroom and were so tired you laid down and fell asleep in your clothes." He snapped his fingers and her nightgown changed back into her uniform, her robe back where it had been, her bed the same as it had been before he had changed it. "I was never here."

Tasha stared at Q, tears running freely down her face. "How could you do that to me?"

"I didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't think it would hurt you that badly. I truly didn't. You're right when you said I was no better than a rapist, trying to force you to be intimate with me by offering to give you something you'd always wanted, something no one else could give."

"Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I did end up having a child, with a fellow Q. Having a child of my own made me realize how much you must have loved your daughter, how cruel it was to dangle her in front of you and then snatch her away like I did. I can't give her back to you, Tasha. But I can give you a gift. To show you how sorry I am."

"What is it?"

"Someone you love is going to die," he said bluntly.

"Who? When?"

"Tomorrow." He skipped her first question completely. "I'm offering you a chance to save her."

"How?"

"At the appropriate moment, I will transport you to the site where the death will take place. You'll have two minutes to prevent her death."

"Who is it? How does it happen?"

"It will all be clear once you're there."

xxxxxxxxx

"You look tired," Data remarked.

"You're telling me. I had the most bizarre dream last night - at least I think it was a dream. It felt so real."

"What was it about?"

"Q was in my quarters, saying something about erasing my memory and giving me a chance to save a friend. I guess I'm probably a little sleep deprived, huh?"

"Perhaps."

"You need to get the rest of the crew to pull their weight on graveyard shift. I don't have those crazy dreams so much when you're with me."

xxxxxxxxx

The moment she materialized in the Bajoran shrine on Deep Space Nine, she knew it hadn't been a dream.

The memory Q had restored was still a little hazy, but the part that had actually happened the night before was crystal clear. She realized he had probably dulled it intentionally, so she would perceive it as a dream, to keep her from obsessing over it all day. Who knew Q could exercise common sense?

Why here? Why now? She had to assume Q had sent her here for a reason. This had to be connected to the death he had mentioned. But why the shrine? What's here?

She looked around, and her eyes landed on the Orb. The mystical items weren't fully understood, but she knew they had incredible religious significance and some practical connection to the wormhole aliens that had turned out to be their most valuable allies. These Prophets, whoever they were, hadn't let a single Dominion ship through the wormhole since Benjamin had flown in on a fool's mission during their retaking of the station. If there was one thing in the entire shrine that was worth killing over, it was that.

A footstep startled her and she looked up, her hand already at her belt for her phaser. But she let it go as soon as she saw who it was. "Jadzia."

And then she knew.

Q hadn't told her who it was, but he had dropped one hint in the form of a female pronoun. Tasha didn't have a lot of female friends, and only two of them were on board the station. Niether Keiko or Jadzia was a follower of Bajoran religion, so the chances of both of them entering the shrine at the same time had to be astronomical. Jadzia was in imminent danger, and Tasha didn't know how to save her.

The Trill woman's head shot up when she heard the voice. "Tasha? I didn't even realize you were in the sector."

"I wasn't. It's a long story."

"What are you doing here?"

"To be honest - I'm not entirely sure."

But at that moment, all the candles in the shrine were extinguished. Before the two women could do more than gape, a figure materialized in the middle of the shrine.

His eyes were blazing red. But to Tasha he had always been a demon.

"Dukat!" Jadzia gasped, but Tasha's didn't need the confirmation. She'd never forget a face.

And she knew. He is going to kill Jadzia. Dukat is going to kill Jadzia.

And in the next few seconds, if her sense of timing was anything resembling accurate.

She saw Jadzia going for her phaser, and there was no time to tell her to stand down. She reached out and caught hold of Jadzia's arm, dragging her towards the wall, pressing them both against it.

"Tasha, what are you doing? We need to stop him."

"You'll get yourself killed!" To Jadzia, it would sound like simple concern. To Tasha, it was a statement of fact. If Jadzia confronted Dukat, she would die.

Dukat ignored them both, intent on the Orb. Tasha had been right. He reached up and opened it.

It was as though his body exploded. Light flowed from it in a stream, headed straight for the orb. Jadzia gasped. Tasha was frozen.

The light stopped emanating from Dukat, but the damage appeared to be done. The Orb, which had been glowing, was dark.

A quick look told Tasha that Dukat had no weapon. Whatever it was he would have done to Jadzia, it must have been while he had that - thing in him. As long as they stayed out of his reach, he was no danger to him.

"Jadzia, call security." She pulled her phaser from her belt and pointed it at Dukat. "Stop. Stop now."

He turned. "Why, Commander. What a pleasant surprise."

That voice was enough to send a thrill of fear through her, but she gripped her phaser tighter. "I said stop." She had the phaser in both hands now and raised it even more as he locked his eyes on hers.

She was lying on the cold floor, naked, too weak to move. He rolled her onto her back. She wanted to fight him, but her body couldn't cooperate. Starved, dehydrated, exhausted, injured - she barely had the strength to turn her head so she wouldn't have to watch him lower his pants.

"Tasha. Tasha. Give me the phaser."

A hand wrapped around hers, drawing her back to reality, and the phaser was removed from her hands. She finally got a look at the man who had removed it. "Julian."

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?"

"Actually, I was hoping you could tell me. You told Jadzia to call security, and when Odo got here you were holding a phaser on empty air, shaking. Your eyes were glazed and I could tell you left us for a minute."

"I guess I did." She swallowed hard. "Wait, empty air? What about Dukat?"

"He beamed out before Odo could arrest him. You didn't see that, did you?"

She shook her head no.

"I'd like to get you to the infirmary, run some tests. Just to be safe."

"I'll go to Sickbay on my ship. I promise."

"What do you -" Julian began, but in a flash of light, the entire station blinked out of her view.

She wasn't entirely sure where she was now. It was a sort of nothing, an empty room but unlike any room she'd ever been in. "Where am I?"

"Consider it a waiting room." Q appeared as if from nowhere.

"Did I do it?"

"You did it. You can probably expect a very confused call each from Lieutenant Dax and Doctor Bashir later, but your mission was successful. Your friend Mr. Worf will thank you, I'm sure. And just so you know, your memories of that first night we spoke will always be just a little hazy, like a vivid nightmare instead of a real-life experience. You don't need to carry that pain."

He snapped his fingers, and she materialized back in Ten-Forward, where she'd been before it had all started, before she had a chance to thank him.

She was vaguely aware that Guinan was talking to someone over the comm, and then her own badge crackled. "Captain to Yar. Tasha, can you hear me?"

"I hear you, Captain."

"You weren't hearing me for the last five minutes. Guinan said you disappeared."

"It's a long story, Captain. I think we'd better have this conversation in person."

"My ready room, as soon as you can get here."

"Copy that, Captain." Boy, do I have a story for you.

This episode takes place during the DS9 episode Tears of the Prophets, except for the flashback which takes place just before the Voyager episode The Q and the Grey, albeit in the Alpha Quadrant. At that point in the timeline, Data and Tasha were not yet even engaged, let alone married, so the references to their relationship are written to reflect that.

I was working on this idea (of Q going to Tasha before Janeway and trying to bribe her with the baby) for awhile when I was at that point in the story but scrapped it because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with it or where it would go. But I'd always been planning to save Jadzia, and as I came closer to that part of the story I realized that having Q help Tasha out was the only way I could think of to do it without creating no end of obviously contrived coincidences, which is why I added in the bit about him making her forget.

I may or may not dedicate part of the next chapter to addressing Tasha's PTSD we see in this chapter. I'm still not sure.

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