Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Thirteen, Part Two: Strangers in the Night
By Kaori

"Great, this is just great." Groused Sasuke. "I knew we should have grabbed a GPS before we left R & D."

"Okay, nobody panic." Sakura said, although she looked like she was about to do just that. "We'll be fine so long as we don't get separated."

"Um," TenTen said nervously. "Kiba, Shino, Naruto, and Hinata are missing." Neji looked like he was going to have a heart attack.

"WHAT?" he yelled, looking around wildly for his cousin. "Uncle Hiashi is going to kill me! I promised that I wouldn't let her out of my sight! He told me if anything happened to her he'd kill me, and paint a picture of my incompetence with my blood using my tanned hide for a canvas! I don't want to die! I haven't gone skinny dipping at midnight (1) yet!" That lost comment garnered him some strange looks.

"Kiba, Naruto, and Hinata I understand." Ino muttered, but why the heck did Shino disappear too?"

"What do you mean?" growled Neji.

"Well, Kiba and Naruto are the kind of guys that go out looking for crap they can get themselves into. Hinata has a thing for Naruto so of course she'd follow those two, but Shino's motives are a mystery to me." The blonde girl explained.

"Oh that one's easy." Chouji said. "Shino doesn't look it, but he enjoys doing devious things like shoplifting and picking people's pockets."

"None of that is important!" Sakura stamped her foot in exasperation. "We need to find them!"

"Why?" Sasuke interjected. As he still had five meat shields between him, Sakura and Ino, he saw no reason to go looking for their missing colleagues.

"Where's your wallet Sasuke?"

"It's right…" he reached into his pocket and found that his wallet was indeed gone. "What the hell?" Reflexively everyone else checked for their wallets and/or purses and discovered that theirs were missing as well. Shikamaru gave an annoyed grunt.

"Shino you son of a…"

Contrary to what their friends may have been thinking, our wayward group of ninja had not wandered off on their own. You see while everyone had been freaking out over getting lost, Naruto had been distracted by a white-haired young man in glasses waving at him from an alleyway. Elbowing Kiba to get him to come along (because let's face it, only a complete fool goes into an alley by themselves) he made his way over. Shino and Hinata, seeing their friends heading for an alley, followed.

"Hey," the white-haired guy stage-whispered. "you're Ninja Burger employees, right?"

"Who wants to know?" Naruto glared.

"My name is Yakushi Kabuto, I'm a Ninja Burger employee too." The overly friendly young-man said, pulling out his ID. "I'm from Oto franchise."

"Never heard of it." Said Shino.

"Ah, well we've only been fully operational for about a year or so. We've got a small clientele right now but we're expecting business to pick up soon."

"So what did you call us over here for anyway?" Kiba asked.

"Well, actually I just wanted to ask you a few questions."

"Questions?"

"Yes. Did you know that argon is colorless, odorless, 25% more dense than air, and is an asphyxiant?" without warning the garbage can they were standing next to exploded in a stream of smoke and the four deliverators soon found themselves it difficult to breathe. They tried running out of the alley but were so overcome with dizziness and nausea that moving with any sort of coordination was nigh impossible; and the exploded garbage can was still pouring smoke into the cramped alley. "Did you also know that carbon monoxide is a neurotoxin? I took the liberty of adding it to the smoke bomb I hid in the garbage can." The last thing the young deliverators saw before they blacked out was Kabuto grinning from the open end of the alley.

When they regained consciousness the first thing they noticed was that they were chained to a wall in a gigantic (but immaculate) kitchen. Ninja cooks literally danced as they moved about preparing food in a highly stylized fashion. As for the burgers, they were finicky looking things with ingredients like avocado and mango, and garnished with lemongrass and other such frou-frou ingredients. Even the French fries weren't simply julienned but cut into the shape of shuriken. As they watched the incredibly choreographed scene before them, the door at the far end swung opened and in walked a tall, pale man, with long black hair and reptilian eyes who was closely followed by Kabuto. Both men immediately made a beeline for their captives.

"Greetings," bowed the older man. "I am Orochimaru, Franchise Manager of Oto Ninja Burger. I do apologize for your current accommodations but I simply cannot have you running about you see."

"What's the big idea kidnapping us out of the blue like that?" Naruto demanded, pulling at his chains as if he could yank them out of the wall.

"You may as well dispense with the charade. I know you were sent here to spy on me." At the three blank and one completely confused looks he got Orochimaru put his hands on his hips. "Oh please, the teenagers-lost-in-the-big-city ploy is older than Konoha's Third Franchise Manager." Four annoyed looks. "You honestly expect me to believe that Sarutobi didn't send you here to spy on me, and find out how I plan to take control of the entire Ninja Burger enterprise?"

"Dude, we didn't even know there was an Oto franchise before your little toady over there told us." Kiba snapped.

"I am not a toady!" Kabuto pouted.

"So, Sarutobi didn't send you to spy on me and ultimately try to foil me?" Orochimaru asked.

"Exactly. We just got lost after we left the company picnic." Said Shino.

"And you had no idea at all of what I was planning before now?"

"None whatsoever." Naruto confirmed.

"I just revealed my grand scheme for no good reason at all?"

"If it makes you feel any better we don't know how you plan to go about accomplishing it." Hinata pointed out.

"So if you could just unlock these shackles and let us go back to our friends so we can find ourselves a swingin' party before the night's over that would be great." Kiba said.

"I can't let you leave now!" Orochimaru snapped. "You know too much!"

"And whose fault is that?" Shino countered.

"Shut up! You are going to stay here until I'm done taking over Konoha Ninja Burger. Come Kabuto, we must complete our preparations tonight!" And with that he stomped off.

"Well this is just great." Groused Naruto. "How are we supposed to get out of this mess?"

"Don't worry," said Shino. "I took the liberty of stealing everyone's wallets before we went into the alley."

"What, why?"

"On the off chance that guy was gonna invite us to a rave I figured we'd need drinking money."

"It must be a very strange place inside your head Shino." Kiba sighed. "I don't get how stealing everyone's money is going to help us."

"It's very simple. We're lost in the city with no other way to get home except by public transportation and I have all their money. Why wouldn't they come looking for us?"

Yeah, I know I took a long time to update but I think I deserve a little slack for writing three stories at once. It's getting harder and harder to keep up with the continuity all three. I may have to consider ending this one soon.

1) Supposedly one of the 101 things you should do before you die. Having said that, if any of you plan on doing this make absolutely certain that the place you do it at is completely devoid of other people; some of us don't want a free show thank you very much.