WARNING: Excessive foul language ahead!
Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Fourteen, Part Two: You Kiss Your Mother with That Mouth?
By Kaori
"I asked you motherfuckers a question!" spat the angry female. From what little they could see of her in the gloom, she had dark pink hair and brown eyes and was wearing some sort of turban.
"Um…health inspection?" Kiba tried.
"ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME BASTARD?" the young woman yelled.
"Tayuya? Who are you screachin' at up there?" a male voice inquired from below them. "Or have you finally lost what little of your mind you had left?"
"SCREW YOU SAKON! THERE'S SOME TRASH CLOGGING UP THE VENTS!"
Suddenly the entire ceiling seemed to shake and they all suddenly came crashing down into a brightly lit room. Tayuya was cursing up a storm.
"Jirobo you goddamn fatass, don't break the motherfucking ceiling! Shit! There goes another two month's worth of my fucking paycheck!"
"Tayuya, you really shouldn't cuss."
"I'll cuss as much as I fucking want you fugitive from Jenny Craig!"
The four Deliverators from Konoha were surrounded by the four older teenagers; Tayuya,the rotund redhead newly identified as Jirobo, a male teenager that upon closer inspection had a conjoined twin (who appeared to be asleep), and another male who…
"Dude, you've got four arms!" Kiba pointed up at the older teen before him.
"Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to point?" glared the four-armed young man.
"Yeah, but she ain't here."
"You'll be crying for her once we get through with you. How did you get in here anyway?"
"That dickweed Kabuto gassed us and dragged us here."
"And now we're leaving." Shino interrupted, and tossed a wasabi powder bomb in their midst and causing their captors a coughing fit. The Konoha quartet made a hasty retreat in the confusion, loud cursing not solely from Tayuya ringing in their ears.
"Damn that girl has a foul mouth." Kiba remarked.
"Don't look now but I think they are chasing us." Shino said. Immediately his three cohorts gave a quick look behind them, made noises of consternation and sped up their already considerable pace. "I said not to look."
At this point I'd like to point out that Shino could have tripped one of his fellow ninja, as one needn't outrun their pursuers just the slowest person, but he decided against it as it would be much more difficult to explain why he essentially betrayed his coworkers to the enemy without filing form 6294-B (Application for Permission to Backstab Fellow Employee for the Purpose of Self-Preservation) and getting authorization. With that said, we now return you to your regularly scheduled chase scene already in progress.
"Quick Kidomaru, the net!" yelled Tayuya.
"On it." The four-armed teen said, tossing a large bolo net at high speed towards the fleeing quartet.
The Konoha deliverators immediately dropped to the floor as the net went soaring over their heads. As soon as it had passed over, they got up and started running again. Unfortunately they didn't notice the rope attached to the net until it was far too late and they were scooped up like fish. Thankfully, ninja carry knives.
"Goddammit!" raged Tayuya as the younger teenagers continued to elude them.
"Relax would ya." The non-sleeping conjoined twin said. "They're heading towards his office; they won't be getting away."
"Sakon you dumbass, if they go in there we're all doomed! No matter what we have to keep them out of…"
"Too late." Said the Kidomaru.
"Quick! Into that room!" Kiba yelled.
"DAMN IT TO HELL!" Tayuya stomped her feet and swore in exasperation as the four Konoha ninja ducked into the very office they didn't want them to go into.
"Well, I guess that's that. I don't know about you, but I sure as hell ain't goin' in there." Shrugged Sakon. Jirobo and Kidomaru nodded in agreement, Tayuya continued to swear.
On the other side of the door…
"Where do you think we are?" whispered Hinata. They had ducked into a very dark room in hopes of finding a way to escape their pursuers. They had not been followed inside which only made them wonder as to the reason why.
"You're in my office." A low voice replied in the gloom. Instinctively the Konoha deliverators backed up to the nearest wall. The lights in the room suddenly came on, revealing a very pale, sickly-looking, white-haired young man sitting in a swivel chair at a desk on the other side of the room. "Why are you in here? I specifically requested that I not be disturbed." He narrowed his eyes and the Konoha Deliverators flinched backwards. "Wait…you don't work here." His eyes landed on their ID tags. "That's the Konoha franchise insignia." He stood up menacingly. "Who are you?"
"We're guests." Shino said hastily. "Your assistant manager brought us here."
"Ah, I see." the tall man sat back down, accepting the reply placidly. "Well then, my name is Kimimaro, I'm the Head of Recruitment here at Oto Franchise." After that polite introduction the younger occupants of the office felt compelled to introduce themselves.
"Well, Im Uzumaki Naruto; a Deliverator and soon to be Konoha Franchise Manager." declared Naruto, proudly.
"Inuzuka Kiba, Konoha Deliverator and future Konoha Driver." Said Kiba, grinning at the thought of terrorizing the populace with vehicular mayhem.
"Hyuuga Hinata, Konoha Deliverator aspiring to be a Dispatcher." Hinata said quietly.
"Aburame Shino, no one you need concern yourself with." Shino stated. Kimimaro nodded sagely.
"It is nice to meet you all. May I offer you something to drink? Perhaps a refreshing cola?" The Kba, Hinata, and Naruto shook their heads vigorously while Shino remained impassive.
"No thank you, we really should be going." Hinata politely said.
"Well now I'm afraid I simply can't allow that…" And before the Konoha Deliverators could get another word out, they were suddenly chained to the far wall.
"GODDAMIT!" cursed Kiba.
"While the vulgarity was expected it is by no means acceptable. Kindly refrain from doing so in my presence."
"What is it with you guys and chaining people to walls?" groused Naruto.
"We find that when applied properly they are less easy to escape from than ropes. Now, since I have you as my captive audience I can have someone to listen to my poetry."
Since I don't want to hear any poetry written by someone who has to chain the audience to a wall in order to get them to listen to it, let's check back in with Sakura and company, who are exactly where we left them last time.
"WHERE DID YOU GO? I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU FOR TWENTY MINUTES!" screamed the rosette. I refuse to answer her directly, instead I bring everyone's attention back to the fact that the world does not revolve around Sakura and I do have other things to do.
"I take it this means our invisible friend is back." Shikamaru deadpanned.
"Yes she is and just as unhelpful as always." The unhelpfulness is intentional. At any rate, the search for the missing Deliverators had not progressed in the slightest and they were running out of time. At this point the group was desperate enough to try asking the mysterious man at the rental booth for help. "Mysterious guy at a rental booth?"
"That one over there?" Chouji pointed to the, before now unnoticeable, rental booth in the alleyway across the street. "What about it?"
"Hell if I know, the unhelpful voice in my head brought it up."
"Well we may as well check it out." Sighed Neji. "It's not like we're getting anywhere standing around like this."
Into the alley they went to the little booth set into the end of the alley. They couldn't make out much of the figure behind the heavily tinted glass except that he was sporting a fuzzy afro, and from the cash slot they could see he was wearing a red jacket, a blue shirt, and a yellow necktie. There was a sign set up next to the booth that read "I'll loan you anything. Except money." (1)
"Hey there," a gravelly, yet suave voice greeted from behind the partition. "what can I do for you?"
Yeah, I'm intentionally leaving off here for the sake of annoying as many people as I can because I didn't get crap for my birthday. I can be petty like that. Anyway, next scroll we finally get around to moving the plot forward.
1) Nerima Daikon Brothers!ne"