Chapter 3
As I slowly wake, my head feels like someone has pounded it with a hammer, where the hell am I and what happened last night? As I go to move I feel a hard object beside me, what's that? I open my eyes to see a naked Elliot lying next to me.
"Oh my god" I scream. Elliot soon opens his eyes, "huh" he responds, sleepily. "Ana is that you?"
"Yeah Elliot, it's me". As I'm sitting here wondering why I'm here, it all comes back to me, the phone call, the drinks, Elliot picking me up, more drinks and finally us sleeping together. My god what have I done?
"Ana, how are you feeling?'' Elliot asks.
"Like I've been pounded by a hammer, how about you?"
"Pretty much the same", he responds groggily.
As we both sit there staring at each other with nothing to say, I slowly start to put my clothes back on and so does Elliot.
" Last night, I begin"….not really knowing what to say.
"I don't really remember much but I do know we had sex, how do you feel about that?" He replies.
"A drunk fuck hey" I quickly snort then burst into tears.
"How could I do this I'm not a slut, but I just felt so shitty and it was nice to feel nothing for once in my life instead of being confound to the house and being told what to do all the time. I'm never allowed to go anywhere of do anything and everything I do has to be run though the chamber of bosses first, where has my life gone? I slowly respond.
"Ana you shouldn't have to live like this and do these things, where is your time and your freedom? When you both come to our house it always looks like that he can't get enough of you, you look so in love, though I must admit he is very possessive and never lets you do anything".
"What happens behind closes doors is a lot different El, I respond. I'm pretty much locked away in the ivory tower to serve his needs when he wants me, you know that he hasn't even told me loves me?''
"But he gives you an engagement ring? If he gave you that, that has to mean something right? You deserve to be cherished Ana, you are a beautiful woman and don't deserve to be anyone's slave".
"I'm hoping that if I can show him enough love and do what he needs it will be enough to bring him into the light and try and make him a better man, I know he is in there somewhere, I've seen glimpses of it, but he just keeps allowing the darkness to take over all of the time".
"I've seen the good glimpses of him to Ana, you are very good for him, I just wished he realised and appreciated it more, anyone would be lucky to have you", he replied.
"Not after last night, look what I have done, how will I ever tell him'?
"I don't know Ana, what about what he has done to you, are you going to ask him about it?"
"I'm just so confused right now, I love Christian so much but never feel like I'm getting anything in return, I'm hoping eventually that if I keep sticking with him he will get it through his thick head that he can love as well as being loved. What we did last night was not right, but if we can forget it and try and move on, that sounds so selfish I know, but I want to try and bring him into the light. Two wrongs definitely don't make a right, but I just don't know what else to do?
"Your right Ana, maybe we can just move past this like it didn't happen, to be honest I don't really remember much anyway, but how do you feel about living with that, you are a good person, don't let my brothers selfish ways turn you into someone you are not, it looks to me that you are already losing some of yourself".
Elliot and I continue to talk about this and decide to leave it in the past, we were two people comforting each other in an upsetting time. I'm not sure what to about Christian yet, if he can cheat I should be able to cheat to shouldn't I? I know that still doesn't make it right but that's all I can think about now, and if he doesn't bring it up then I'm not going to say anything either.
As Elliot drops me home, I thank him for the ride and the night.
"It's ok Ana, anytime, I am always here for you" and he slowly drives off.