A/N: Gonna be updating like crazy for the next few days, mainly because I got a long weekend coming up. However, if I don't post anything in a few days, try not to chew me out guys. Writer's block is a terrible thing.

Anyway, enjoy! :)

(Matt P.O.V)

A whole year had gone by. Not one call from Mello. Not one word. I don't think anything could've broken my heart more than this.

Sometimes I wondered if he'd forgotten me. I wondered what happened to him, where he'd gone, and how he was doing. I wanted to write to him, but I couldn't. I simply lost all trace of him. The only thing I had left of his memory, were my goggles. The very first gift he'd given me. The gift I loved more than any others, even more than my games. Because he'd given them to me.

The other kids noticed my depression, but they said nothing. Well, the younger ones didn't. Torrik and his buds constantly reminded me about him, saying he'd 'dumped me for another fag.' Morons. They really didn't know Mello like I did.

Didn't I?

Whatever.

I'm sorry for my bitterness. I suppose I'm just a bit miffed with Mello. As much as I missed him… I was also annoyed by him.

That bastard. He actually ran right out the gates. Didn't even look back. The fucker didn't turn back just for one last glance. Had he done so, maybe he would've stayed. He would've stayed, and we could've spent the rest of our time together.

I know that must sound weird for a friend to say about another friend, but truth be told… I didn't want to spend my time with anyone else. I wanted Mello. I wanted my best friend.

I suppose I had to suck it up though. Mello was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. Still, I missed him.

My year at the Wammy house, as I've said, was a lonesome one. I did spend time with Near, but that was to make sure that he was doing alright. The poor kid shouldn't have this responsibility while so young. Taking over L's spot, without Mello's help, was probably difficult for him.

On one very particular day, I was hanging around the kid in the playroom. I guess I was either bored or desperate at this point, but hey. Anything to take my mind off of Mello.

I had been helping him construct a domino tower along with Linda, who had actually admitted to crushing on the albino, when I brought up the subject of Kira.

"Near, I know this is kind of… sudden, but don't you think you should start the Kira investigation right about now. I mean, it's been a year…"

Linda cut in. "But he's still young, Matt. Even more, it'd be easier on him if he had help. Say, for instance, Mello's help."

"Linda," Near calmly spoke up, "Mello made his decision. He gave me L's place because he thought I'd be better suited for the roll."

"Well, he still shouldn't have left. I thought you said he promised L he'd take care of you two? So why did he go back on that promise?"

"I'm not too sure myself." Near stated as he placed another domino on the tower. "But I suppose it has to do with the promise he made to Mello. He promised to catch and execute Kira, and in return, Mello would take care of us like an older brother. However, with Kira having killed L, Mello felt betrayed. So why keep his on promise, when L did not?"

Linda huffed a bit. "He should still help you. Although he was second here at Wammy's, he was brilliant in his own way. I think, with his help, you two could have started the investigation, then do what L couldn't."

"I couldn't agree more." Near said quietly, setting down the domino in his hand. There was a certain look in his eye I had never seen before. He looked as though he was actually… saddened by Mello's absence.

He continued. "If Mello were by my side… if we worked together in harmony instead of separately, Kira would be executed by this afternoon. Because in truth…" he looked out the window, staring at something I knew not of. "Mello should have been chosen to be L's successor."

Both Linda and I flinched at what he'd said, but it was her who voiced our thoughts.

"You… really think so? Why him, though? I mean, you're almost a perfect replica of L…"

"Which is why I shouldn't be him." He looked back. "Think about it. If I'm a carbon copy of L, then I'll only make the same mistakes he made. Which is why I'm not getting too far into the Kira case right now until I'm certain I've seen every mistake L made. If I do what L did, then I've only done nothing more than gone insane.

"Mello, on the other hand, would never do what L did in situations like this. Think about our kidnappings." He directed towards me. "What was the first thing Mello did when the three of us were captured?"

I had to think for a moment to remember. I had been knocked out at the time, but Near filled me in. "He got us out. Made them believe he was worth more than us."

"Exactly. He thinks differently than L did, which is why he respected the blonde so much. L would have done something completely different in that situation. And all I did was cower. This is why Mello needs to be in L's place, not me."

He suddenly looked at the pile of dominoes by his feet. He then began to stack them in a rickety tower. "L once told me," he began when the tower fell down after only a bit. He didn't care though, and stacked it the same way again, with similar results. "The definition of insanity, is doing the same thing over," the tower fell, "and over," he built it up, "and over again," and it fell once more, "and expecting things to be different each time. Were L to choose me, the same results would happen, because I think the same way as him."

He then took the dominoes and started making a sturdier tower. "But Mello is far from what L was. Had he stayed and helped me, we could have him in custody and executed right now. His thought process, though on paper would look meek to my own, is actually towering. And had L lived a bit longer… I guarantee you two, he'd have been chosen to succeed him."

Linda and I stilled. The way Near had described it felt so true. I mean, in theory, the little albino would be perfect to replace L. The kid was a genius who thought the same way as L himself. But, at the same time, L did something wrong and ended up dead. Who's to say Near wouldn't make the same mistake?

I finally spoke up. "So, you're saying Mello was better suited for this case?"

"Yes and no. I think, with my thought process – being equal to L's – and mixing it with Mello's, who would see the errors L made a lot faster than I, would result in a quicker solution. Unfortunately, Mello's too mixed up right now to be thinking like he normally did. Adding fear, sadness, and pain into this formula, plus his undying rage… I don't think we saw the real Mello the day he left. I believe what we saw was a 'non-Mello'. Someone who looks and talks like him, but his thought process has been altered by emotions too great for him to handle normally." He looked at me again. "I'm sorry, Matt. I wish I had stopped him from leaving. I think if all three of us worked together, everything would be easier."

I gaped at him for a moment before lowering my head. "Don't worry about it, Near. I'm sure he'll be fine. I said I'd stay here and wait for him to contact me. I intend to do that."

"Then do me a favour. When he does contact you, tell me right away. Because, though I may not look the part…" He faced away from me. "I miss him terribly."

I patted him on the back. "Can do."

Linda chuckled a bit, and at our curious glance, she stated, "I think that blonde ball of fury left a mark on all of us. Kinda quiet around here without him. I miss him telling Torrik to 'screw off.'"

"I think even Roger misses him. Poor guy's got no one to punish unfairly anymore."

Linda giggled again. "Unfairly? Umm… did you get to know the same Mello I did?"

I crossed my arms. "Yes, and everything he got in trouble for was completely justifiable."

Linda cocked an eyebrow. "He super-glued everything in Roger's office to the ceiling while he was on his vacation week. This was justifiable how?"

"… Roger was on vacation and we had a lot of super-glue. There's your justification!"

(Near P.O.V)

I watched Linda and Matt join in a laugh. It made me happy to see there was more to the memory of Mello than just his blinding rage.

Throughout the year I had thought of him fondly. Even if he hadn't liked me or got along with me, he still defended me whenever I needed him. I was happy to know he didn't completely hate me, but I suppose after L's death… something changed.

I still remembered what he'd said that day.

"What was that? Roger, what'd you just say!?"

He'd heard him, clear as day. But, I guess he just didn't want to believe it.

"I'm afraid L is dead."

The look on his face. I didn't think I'd ever seen it before in anyone else. The immense pain and betrayal he felt. I wish I could say I felt the same. Hurt, maybe, but not to that level.

"He's dead? B-but how?" Roger wouldn't answer. "Was it Kira? Did Kira kill him? COME ON, ROGER! YOU"VE GOT TO TELL ME!"

I mentally begged him to stop yelling. I hated hearing the pain in his voice. It was the same pain he had after finding out about his family. How they'd forgotten him.

"Probably." Roger had replied.

"But he promised me he'd find Kira and execute him. And now you're telling me that he's been killed!?"

I'd had enough.

I spilled my puzzle on the ground to stop the fighting. Mello was getting physical and it was far from what was needed at this point.

I placed the puzzle board down. "If you can't win the game… if you can't solve the puzzle…" I looked at Mello. "Then you're nothing but a loser."

I hated to do that to him. But he needed a reality check. L was gone, and now there needed to be a new one. Someone needed to take his place.

Mello had gotten the message right away, and asked Roger who he'd picked to be his successor. Unfortunately, L had not picked yet, and the topic of working together sprouted. I was all for it, but Mello… was not.

When nothing was said for a while, Mello caved.

"You know what, its fine. Near should be the one to succeed L. He never gets emotional, he just uses his head, like it's a game or a puzzle. But as for me, I'm leaving this institution."

My heart sunk at this. How could he be so foolish? Leaving was the absolute worst thing for him to do. I needed him and his advice. However, one look into Mello's eyes and I knew… I knew, he wasn't there. Something in his brain snapped, and now… now I wasn't sure where it got him to.

Roger tried to stop him, but he kept walking. Not fifteen minutes later did we hear crashing and things being thrown from Matt's room. Roger was about to try and stop him, but I kept him in his office.

"I guarantee you won't make it out of there unharmed. Give him some space."

The old man complied, and we waited for the storm to pass.

I remember every detail of that day. Mainly because it was the most painful one in existence. Everything in our worlds shattered. Mello lost his mind, Matt lost his best friend, and I lost my inspiration.

Yes, I will admit I needed Mello. For more than just the Kira case. I needed him to inspire me, to help me realize where I can go. But with the way he was now… I feared we had lost him all together.

I placed another domino on my tower. Linda and Matt still chattering away.

'If there is a god up there. If you can read my thoughts. If you can help in any way. Bring Mello back to who he was before. Set things back to the way they were. I'll need him for this case. Please, I know I don't pray often, but this only further proves my desperation.'

My domino tower was now complete. My face remained emotionless. My thought process would equal L's. However, I had to take the time to find out how L was defeated. I was sure I could figure it out. I had to try.

I was the new L, after all.