A/N: Thanks AGAIN for all the comments… :-) We're so happy to read that you enjoy reading them… and yes, we know, the storyline is really depressing… and I can't say it gets better all too soon… there are problems that lay deep within, and they all have to do with the 2 brothers… I can already say: Tyler WILL be a part of this storyline, too, he will be helping to make things better a little later… I know it's all really dramatic, but I think, it has to get to the worse before it starts getting better… And of course we can imagine if people don't want to read that, but there will be better times eventually…
And well… "such" things – as for the drug use of Jackson – happen to the best… I don't know if any of you also watch "Private Practice", but Derek's sister Amelia was very deep in the drug addiction, too, and it took a lot of her to stop using… and it will take a lot of Jackson and it will cost him, but like we said, there is a ray of light at the end of the tunnel :-)
We still hope, you're gonna enjoy Chapter 32! =)
Have a nice weekend!
Alex Karev POV:
Alex and Jackson weren't back to how things were before. Truth be told, Alex wasn't sure the two would ever be again, but after their talk in Jackson's office the hostility had seemed to diminish.
That was, until Jackson's talk with his brother.
Lewis had promised him that he wasn't going to say anything to Jackson that would make him upset.
Still, once Lewis had left and Jackson returned he was a lot more closed off then he had been before.
"Everything okay, man?" Alex asked as he walked over to Jackson.
"Fine" he got in return as Jackson opened up a chart and started to write something down.
Alex knew he was lying, but pushing Jackson would only make the man pull away further. He hated that the two had this huge rift between them, because for all the times Jackson had been there for him; Alex wanted to return the favour.
"I can make Lewis back-off" Alex said "I know he still has all this...resentment, but I can make him listen". Looking around at the room Jackson made sure the two wouldn't be heard before he spoke "He hates me, Alex. That's not going to change because his boyfriend tells him to back off".
The words threw Alex for a minute. To hear Jackson talk about Alex and Lewis that way seemed weird, but not completely uncomfortable.
"I'm not his...boyfriend" Alex said "I mean I don't think-"
"Well, whatever you two are it's not going to change that he thinks I don't deserve to have the things I do"
"That's not true" Alex said "he is your brother"
"You say that like it's supposed to mean something" Jackson replied and turned around to continue his work.
"Just let it go Karev" and with that Jackson waded back into the chaos of the pit.
The next 8 hours passed quickly and the two men barely shared another word with each other. Alex knew Jackson was distracting himself with work and having done so a number of times Alex knew how useless it was.
The end of shift came and trying to follow Jackson to his office he found himself stopped by a strong hand on his wrist.
"I need to talk to you" Meredith said "it's about April"
The quick fear in his stomach made him feel nauseous "She okay?"
"What do you think?" Meredith asked sarcastically "the father of her kid turned out to be an even bigger ass than she thought"
"I really don't have time for this, Mer" Alex said "we worked out what we had to"
"No" Meredith told him "you decided what you wanted and you forced her to accept it"
Turning around Alex sneered at Meredith "This is really none of your concern" Alex said "April knows that I support whatever she's going to do"
"Good" Meredith said "so you won't have a problem with her moving in with me and Derek until the baby arrives"
The news sobered Alex "What?"
"She needs someone to be there for her and with you having...other obligations and Jackson heading Plastics and dealing with problems of his own she came and asked if she could stay with us and me and Derek agreed to it"
Alex had no idea why he seemed to generally dislike the idea, but something about April moving in reminded Alex of the wayward teenager boarding with the rich couple who would only look down on her. Which Alex knew Meredith would never do.
Out the corner of his eyes he could see Jackson making a bee line for the exit.
"Fine" he told Meredith "let me know if she's going to need money for anything"
"You really area prick" Meredith said.
"I thought you already knew that by now" Alex responded and with that he chased down Avery.
By the time Alex got outside Jackson was already gone and putting his hands on his hips he took a deep breath. Alex couldn't fix many things, but he could fix this.
He could fix Jackson and Lewis.
Lewis had invited Alex to his apartment for the night. Michael was working a double and Lewis told him that he just wanted a quiet night in.
It sounded perfect to Alex. With the news that April was moving into the Shepherd's place he wanted a distraction.
He had stopped to pick up two pizzas and once he walked into the apartment he sat them down on top of the kitchen counter.
Walking over Lewis opened one of the boxes and smiled "Pineapple, how did you know it's a favourite of mine"
Alex looked at him curiously "I guess you must have mentioned it".
"I guess" Lewis responded as he picked up a slice and took a bite.
"What are we?" Alex asked.
Stopping mid-step Lewis turned around, the slice still hanging from his mouth "What's that?"
"Look, I'm not one to worry about labels and all that crap, but I think I'd like to know that we're both on the same level here" Alex said. He felt stupid talking like some chick from a romantic comedy.
"I don't know" Lewis answered him honestly "I figured we'd take it as it came"
"You're important to me, Lewis" Alex said "what happens to you is important to me"
Sitting down the pizza Lewis walked over and put two arms around Alex's waist to pull him close "You're important to me too".
"Is it true that you only slept with me to get back at Jackson, because you thought we were closer then we were?"
Lewis looked down and away from Alex "At first...yeah, but that was before I knew how genuinely awesome you are".
Stepping away from Lewis Alex was surprised to feel how hurt he was by it.
"Alex, I'm sorry" Lewis said "I did something completely stupid, but in all honesty I wouldn't have been able to make it these past few weeks here without you"
Alex knew the man was being honest "I know and although I hate how it came about I'm happy to have you in my life"
Lewis's smile made the butterflies in Alex's stomach start to flutter "I'm happy too".
"Good" Lewis said as he pulled Alex's body against his own once again "now let me make it up to you" he said as he kissed Alex.
It felt amazing, but Alex knew if he was going to do this, now would be the time.
Pulling his head back he looked at Lewis "You can make it up to me"
"How?"
"I need you and Jackson to make things right between you two"
With an agitated sigh Lewis let go of Alex and walked back towards the kitchen counter "Can we not talk about him, please?"
"He's important to me" Alex said "I don't have many people who have managed to stick with me as long as he has and I can't just sit by and watch as you two go at each other's throats"
"I can't help it if my mere presence sends my little brother off the deep end. He was never that strong to begin with"
"You know it's more than that" Alex said "Whatever you told him today is putting him in a really bad place and as much as you try to hide it I know you care enough about him to not want him to self-destruct"
"What my brother does is not my concern" Lewis told Alex "I spent my entire life cleaning up his messes and all I got for it was him taking away the one thing that was mine and throwing his relationship with that one thing in my face for three years, so you'll forgive me if I'm not weeping for the pain that Jackson brings on himself"
Alex could hear the pain behind Lewis' words "What Jackson did was fucked up, nobody is saying otherwise, but take it from somebody who let his own brother completely collapse. If I had the chance to step in and help Aaron before it was too late I would have."
Lewis looked as if he was at least hearing Alex's words and walking over Alex stood in front of him and grabbed his hand "I'm just saying, there's no need to make Jackson feel worse about himself than he already does"
"I hear you" Lewis said as he brought Alex's hand up to his lip to kiss "and I can try. I'm not promising anything, but I can try"
"That's all I ask" Alex said "now what was this thing about making it up to me?"
With a grin Lewis pushed Alex back into the living room and onto the couch before landing on top of him.
Alex knew this wouldn't fix the brothers, but at least it was a start.
Mark Sloan POV:
After his talk with Lewis Mark had gone for a walk. A two-hour walk. He wasn't even aware about how much time had passed until it started to dawn and he looked at his watch. He did - indeed - feel better after talking to Jackson's brother and he had to think about all the thinks Lewis had told him.
If Michael really was completely straight, Jackson most likely wouldn't stand a chance, right? Even IF he looked hot as hell. And what would be worse? If Jackson had tried to seduce Michael because he thought he was hot and it hadn't worked or if they actually had slept with each other but it hadn't meant anything?
Mark sighed and fell on a park bench, closing his eyes. He knew the answer. It would be way worse if Jackson had feelings for Holt, no matter if something had happened between them or not. He could actually even live with the fact if Jackson had cheated on him. If it was only sex, it was okay for Mark. He wasn't a saint either, and he had done this several times as well... He could totally differ between love and sex. As long as Jackson loved only him.
A desperate sigh left Mark's lips. He could sit here and think about everything for the next couple of hours and it most likely would drive him crazy. Or he could just do what Lewis suggested: talk to Jackson.
How could he find out what were facts and what were only his fantasies if he didn't talk? He always told Jackson to talk to him, so he should do the same. He needed to see him.
He grabbed his mobile phone out of his jeans pocket, finally listening to Jackson's message. His hand clang to his phone while he listened to Jackson's desperate voice. This just was pure Jackson. And he was desperate. Even IF Jackson was a great actor, he couldn't play that. Mark just knew Jackson's words were honest. And that he really loved him. He could feel it through the phone.
It took him a couple of minutes to make the final decision, but eventually, he got up and walked back to the hospital, only to find out there that Jackson's shift was over and he had already left.
There was only one place Jackson could be if he wasn't with Mark or in Mark's apartment. In his own. Mark hesitated for a moment, but he had already made up his mind. He had made his decision, so it was time to actually implement it.
About fifteen minutes later Mark was standing in front of Jackson's apartment door with his heart beating like he ran a marathon. He was nervous like hell and he didn't even know what exactly he wanted to tell Jackson, but he would figure that out once he picked up the courage to actually ring the doorbell or at least knock.
It was one thing to show up at Jackson's place, but it was another to really be brave enough to go through with it.
He was almost about to turn around again when the door opened all of a sudden and Jackson almost ran into him, seeing him in the last second and backing away.
"Mark... what... what are you doing here? I was just on my way to your apartment..." Jackson said, looking more than a little nervous. "Since you didn't answer my message, I thought I'm just gonna show up at your place and try to talk to you in person."
"Well..." Mark said, rubbing the back of his neck. "No need for that now I'm here... are you alone?" He pointed into Jackson's apartment with his head.
"Yeah... yes... I am... Alex is... I think with Lewis and April... I don't know... maybe with Meredith as usual nowadays..." Jackson replied.
Mark took a deep breath before looking Jackson in the eye again. "Can I come in? I don't wanna talk in the hallway... I don't need some nosy neighbours to know everything about us..."
"Sure... of course..." Jackson replied immediately, taking a couple of steps back into his apartment and getting rid of his jacket.
Mark followed immediately, hanging up his jacket as well before leaning against the door.
For a couple of minutes - maybe only seconds - there was silence between them. A very uncomfortable silence, which Mark finally broke by starting to talk.
"Listen, Jackson... I... I know you wanted to wait with that, but after finding you and Michael I was... just so desperate..." Mark bit his lower lip, taking another breath. "I went to Lewis and I told him about us... I know it was on you to do that and I know I crossed a line with it, but I... I didn't know what else to do... I'm... I'm sorry, Jackson... I... I know you weren't ready, but I didn't know who else I should talk to..."
"Stop being so hard on yourself..." Jackson interrupted him, moving towards him and grabbing one of his hands. "I... I know..."
"You do?" Mark asked, slightly surprised.
"Lewis came to me afterwards..." Jackson explained.
"I... I shouldn't have done it... Jackson... I broke your trust..." Mark apologized even though that definitely wasn't the only thing he had to say.
Gently, Jackson stroked the back of his hand. "It's okay, Mark..." He moved closer again, touching Mark's face with his free hand. "But you have to believe me, I'm... I'm not cheating on you."
Mark swallowed hard. "Then why didn't you just tell me that you made the steak for Holt to thank him for his help? Seriously, there was no reason for you to lie about that..."
"I know..." Jackson replied immediately. "I don't even know why I didn't tell you the truth... maybe because I know you don't like him?"
Mark sighed. "It's not that I don't like him... it's just... I don't get why everyone seems to be so obsessed with him lately... Meredith... you... everyone seems to think he should replace Derek."
"That's not true," Jackson cut him off. "I already told you that I only talked to Hunt about him, because I wanted to do Lewis a favour."
"I know..." Mark replied. "But when I found you two in your office today... it all made sense all of sudden... at least that's what I thought..." He looked down at his hand that was still laying in Jackson's hand, resisting the urge to pull it back. He felt really vulnerable right now and he didn't like for Jackson to see him like that.
"But there's nothing going on between us. Holt is just a colleague I promise you, he will never be more." Jackson tried to convince him, and even though Mark already had his doubts about his own theory, he still didn't totally believe Jackson.
"Are you sure about that? I mean..." He sighed. "The thing is... I know it hasn't been easy with me lately... especially... concerning our sex-life... I didn't have any episodes in a couple of days, but sometimes I just think I... I don't satisfy you anymore... and if that's the case... if you're not happy with... our sex-life..." He leaned forward, looking deep into Jackson's eyes. "If you need something else... someone else... if you need a woman from time to time, I understand..."
He could see Jackson wanted to say something, but he placed two fingers on his lips, shaking his head.
"No, let me finish..." he said softly, waiting for Jackson to nod and then he went on.
"All I'm asking of you is to be honest with me, Jackson... If you rather want an open relationship... where you have the freedom to sleep with others, I... I can give you that... just say it..."
He let out another sigh.
"You might or might not know, but I... I never was the most faithful guy on earth..." he admitted. "That all changed with Lexie... kind of... I mean, I wanted to stay true to her... I wanted to have this relationship with her, but after we fought and I thought everything was over I had nothing better to do than to get into bed with my ex... Addison."
Ashamed, he looked away.
"What I want to say by it is, I'm not perfect... and neither are you... and I don't expect you to be... I love you just the way you are..." he said earnestly. "I only want you to tell me the truth... so if you ever want to cook a meal for Holt again... or for whoever... because you want to thank this person for whatever... then just tell me 'Hey Mark, I'm going to cook dinner for Holt' or something like that and it won't be a problem. Just don't lie to me... Lying is... a lot worse than cheating..."
He paused for a moment, looking back at Jackson.
"I want you to be happy, Jackson. I want you to have everything you need." and it was the truth, he really did. "Hell, even if it would hurt, if you tell me you slept with Holt or anyone else, I could deal with it... as long as it's just that... sex... a meaningless fuck... and you still love me... I wanna be the one you love... I wanna be the one you want to fall asleep next to and I wanna be the one you want to wake up with. You're my... my better half and without you I go crazy... So... do you think we still have a chance?"
Jackson Avery POV:
So... do you think we still have a chance?"
Jackson almost couldn't believe that Mark was standing in front of him asking Jackson if this was something he wanted to continue. As if it wasn't Jackson that was destroying their relationship with every lie he told.
"I hope we do" Jackson told him "I know that the things that I've done have made you question my love for you, but believe me Mark it is always there and it has never left"
"I know that you didn't sign up for any of this" Mark said to Jackson as he held up his hand "having to deal with the nightmares and not knowing if I'll ever be a real surgeon again. Nobody would blame you in finding comfort in somebody like Holt, somebody who is more like the man you thought I could be for you"
"Stop it" Jackson said as he rushed over to Mark and held the man's hands in his own "Michael Holt will never be half the man you are"
Mark looked at him and Jackson hoped that whatever lies he had told over the past few weeks that Mark would know that what he was saying now was completely true.
"I don't cheat, Mark" Jackson said "I've seen what happens when that works it's way into a relationship and I can't lose you, not for something like that"
Mark nodded his head "I just...I feel like I'm losing you a little more every day and I don't know how to stop it, just tell me what I need to do"
Jackson could feel the guilt eat at him. Mark was blaming himself for what was happening and it wasn't fair.
"Before he came to Seattle I hadn't seen my brother in 4 years"
The words had stopped Mark "Why?"
Jackson looked at Mark and the words were on the tip of his tongue. Mark would understand, he didn't need Jackson to be perfect and he wouldn't hold it against him.
"I came in-between him and someone that he loved very much" Jackson started "he never really forgave me and I've tried to make it up to him... which is why the whole thing with Michael happened"
Why couldn't he just be straight-forward? Why couldn't he just say 'I destroyed my brother's life and he has been hell-bent on returning the favour ever since'?
That would mean telling Mark more then he had ever told anyone before. The man was worth it, but losing him wasn't.
"Your brother seems like a good guy" Mark told him "if all this was just about being ashamed about a mistake you made in the past then you don't have to hide it from me"
It was a lifetime of mistakes
Jackson could still feel his body buzz nervously "You know what we need?" Jackson said with a smile.
"What's that?" Mark asked and he seemed a lot more collected then when he first arrived.
"We should get away" Jackson told him enthusiastically "just the two of us; for a weekend"
"Really?"
"Yeah, I think if we could just focus on us we can get back to how we used to be" he raised Mark's hands to his lips and gave them a kiss.
"Where would we go?"
"I don't care" Jackson said "as long as it's just us it could be a motel 6 and I'd be happy"
"I like that idea" Mark told him with a smile and wrapping his arms around Jackson he pulled him close.
"I love you, Jackson" Mark said "and I want us to be able to keep us strong"
"Let me surprise you" Jackson told Mark "Your next appointment with Lewis is in 3 days and by then I'm going to have our perfect weekend completely planned out, how's that sound?"
"Sounds perfect" Mark said.
The two were still hugging when the front door opened and April walked in with Meredith behind her. Looking behind Mark Jackson could see the two were obviously discussing something important.
"April" Jackson said as he broke away from Mark and walked up to the woman.
"Jackson" she said "I didn't think you would be here"
There was something in the woman's voice that caused him concern "You okay, April?"
She looked away from him "Y-yeah" she told him.
"April" Jackson repeated
"She's moving in with me and Derek until the kid arrives" Meredith told Jackson as she walked up to the two.
"What?" Jackson asked "When did you decide this?"
"Alex moved out and between the hospital...and other things" April said with a quick glance to Mark "I can't ask you to be here when you have other obligations"
"You wouldn't have to ask" Jackson said "I mean, yeah I've been a bit distracted, but I told you that I'm here for you whenever you need me. You know that"
"Does she?" Meredith asked and Jackson was taken aback by the question.
"Excuse me?" Jackson asked.
"I mean Alex has obviously written her off and with all the time you've been spending at the hospital; with Holt, can you really say that you can be there for April?"
"Meredith" Mark scolded "what are you talking about?"
"I don't doubt Jackson wants to help April, but Derek is home most days and I'm not in charge of a whole department" Meredith said "it just makes more sense"
"It really does" April said
"What about the apartment?" Jackson asked "It's a little too big for just me"
"You could stay with me" Mark said and turning around Jackson looked at him wide-eyed.
"I mean...if you want to" Mark nervously told him.
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark hadn't planned on proposing to move in with Jackson like that. He had thought about this for a while now, and it just slipped out. And now he couldn't take it back. Not really.
"Mark... I... I don't know what to say..." Jackson replied, and Mark could tell that this had taken him by surprise.
"You... you don't have to... say anything right now..." Mark stammered, grabbing one of Jackson's hands and caressing it gently. "But I have to admit, it's not the first time this thought crossed my mind... I just wasn't sure if we're ready for this... and I didn't want to push you in our situation..."
He looked at Meredith and she seemed to understand immediately.
"Let's get your stuff, April, okay?" she asked, nodding at Mark.
April nodded as well, looking at Jackson and Mark once more. "Jackson... it's really okay... you're still my best friend but... I can't be alone so much at the moment... or I'll go crazy..." She turned to Jackson completely, having his full attention immediately.
"I love you and moving in with Derek and Mer doesn't change a thing about that... and we'll still see each other at hospital or we can still grab drinks or anything like that..." she said with a smile. "But I think it's important for you to fix your own problems before you can start fixing mine."
"Maybe... maybe you're right..." Jackson replied after a couple of seconds. "But... I'm really sorry if I let you down... It's just... been a whirlwind lately... with Lewis being back and everything."
"I know..." April replied, leaning forward and kissing Jackson's cheek. "it's really okay... don't worry, I'm gonna be okay... and I know where to find you if I need you."
"Good..." Jackson said with a sad smile and then he and Mark watched April leaving the hallway to get to her own room.
Mark waited for a little while until he started speaking again.
"Jackson... I... I don't want you to feel any pressure because I proposed moving in with you... we have all the time in the world, but I just thought... it... it's worth a try..." he admitted, staring down at his feet. "You can still keep the apartment here... just in case... I mean... that wouldn't be a problem, right? So you would always have a place to go to if you need time on your own, but I... I would love to try..."
He didn't know why he was this nervous, but maybe because moving in with the person he loved had never worked out for him. Not with Lexie, not with anyone else. Maybe he just wasn't the moving in type.
The only person moving in ever worked out with was Callie. And that most likely was, because they never were in love or had a relationship like that.
A lot would be broken if he moved in with Jackson and it wouldn't work out. He still wasn't sure if it was the right time for it to happen, but he just had to suggest it.
"I'm not mad if you don't want to... or if you're not ready yet... I would totally understand it after all that happened lately..." It took him a couple of seconds until he was able to look Jackson in the eye again, who had an unreadable expression. Mark absolutely didn't know what he thought right now, even though he normally was good in knowing what Jackson thought, but not this moment.
"Maybe we can try it... like a trial... see how it works out in the next couple of days or weeks... and if it doesn't, you can come back here. No harm, right?"
He moved a step towards Jackson, still holding his gaze.
"Please say something, Jackson... don't leave me hanging like that..."
He didn't want to sound so desperate, but not knowing what Jackson felt drove him up the wall. But at least he was sure now that Jackson still loved him and he also believed him that he didn't have an affair with Holt. That he didn't even have sex with him and that was a relief.
He watched Jackson opening his mouth and just the moment Mark thought he would finally get a reply, Meredith and April bumped in, interrupting the situation.
"I think I have everything I need for now..." April said, smiling up at Jackson. "I will still pay my part of the rent, so I have a possibility to get away from the rat race for a while if I need to. Some place I can get back to..."
"Sounds good to me..." Jackson replied with a smile, leaning forward and kissing April's forehead. "Take care of yourself, okay? And if you need anything, just let me know... I promised I'll be there for you and I will..."
April nodded. "Thank you..."
She left the apartment and Meredith went after her, waving good bye for one last time before the door fell shut behind them.
Mark let out a soft smile.
"So... are we alone now or are there other guests you are expecting?"
Jackson put his arms around Mark's neck and moved very close to him.
"No, I don't expect anyone else... and I think I still owe you an answer, right?"
Mark nodded. "Right... but can I kiss you first?"
A chuckle left Jackson's lips. "Yes... you can kiss me first..."
And Mark didn't need to be asked twice. He felt so much lighter now after talking to Jackson and no matter what his reply about the proposal would be, he just felt like they could overcome anything. Everything. If they just stuck together.
He leaned down closing the distance between them and kissing Jackson with all tenderness he had to offer and just holding him very close to his body.
They would make it through everything. They would find a way, and even though it would be difficult, Mark knew he was strong enough to hold on. He was strong enough to keep up with Jackson and to be strong for both enough. As long as Jackson learned not to lie to him anymore.
Jackson Avery POV:
The fact that Mark had asked him to move in proved to Jackson how much the man was committed to making this thing work.
Jackson owed it to Mark to try just as hard.
"We can try it" Jackson said "I'd like to give it a shot"
Mark's smile made him feel better about the situation and quelled the apprehension in his stomach that maybe it was going just a bit too fast. Jackson knew how much he loved Mark and his future would include him in every part of it, but Mark asking something like this made Jackson believe that Mark didn't trust in the same kind of future.
Still, being together could help Jackson show Mark that they could do this. They could overcome Jackson's many faults.
Hugging Jackson close Mark buried his face in Jackson's neck "This is going to be good for us"
"It will be" Jackson said.
"I know it's a little late, but what do you say me and you go out for a late dinner...to celebrate"
"Sounds good to me. Just let me change and we can head out" and with that Jackson made his way up the stairs and to his room.
Walking in Jackson grabbed a clean shirt and a pair of slacks from his dresser. He had felt as if a weight was being lifted off of him. It had felt like an eternity since he was able to freely breathe without someone at his back.
Michael no longer had a hold over him and despite what Lewis said Jackson was becoming increasingly assured that he had no real plan when it came to Mark.
Jackson knew that he still had to watch his back to an extent. When men like Michael and Lewis became desperate it could make them do things that they would never even consider before.
After getting dressed and brushing his teeth Jackson gave himself a once over in the mirror. Dark Green shirt with a black tie and black slacks to match. He wanted to look good for Mark and he thought he could pass the test for tonight. Although, it was time that Jackson got another haircut.
Mark had told him that he loved Jackson's curls, but more often then not they could be annoying.
"Jackson" Mark called from downstairs "you okay up there?"
Leaving the bathroom he turned off the lights and made his way down the stairs "Better then ok-"
Jackson stopped mid-step as he took a look at the living room and saw Alex and Lewis standing in front of Mark.
"Guess what?" Mark said brightly "looks like we'll have company"
Jackson could see Alex holding the same enthusiastic smile as Mark as Lewis probably mirrored Jackson's own displeasure.
Walking down the stairs Jackson stood beside Mark and the man put an arm around his waist "You look fantastic" he told Jackson.
"I hope it's okay if me and Lewis tag along" Alex said "we just stopped by and Mark told us about the dinner and it sounded like a great idea"
"It's fine" Jackson said with a bright smile and when Mark and Alex turned to Lewis the man put on the exact same pleasant face.
The Avery brothers were taught how to mask unhappiness and taught well.
Mark had chosen a French cuisine place that was located on the other side of town. Alex had borrowed one of Jackson's shirts and as the four rode to the restaurant Mark and Alex kept up most of the conversation.
Once all four men were seated Lewis picked up a menu and gave a small laugh.
"I have to admit my French is pretty atrocious" he said to the group.
"Whose isn't?" Mark responded with a laugh of his own.
"I know I can barely even speak English properly" Alex said as he looked at the menu and tried to figure out what the hell he was looking at.
"Jackson knows French" Lewis said "pretty well too"
Looking up at Lewis he managed not to sneer at his brother.
"Is that true?" Mark asked.
"Yeah" Jackson responded "I know a little French"
"A little?" Lewis smirked "our Jackie spent 3 years at a Paris boarding school, I think you know more then just a little"
Jackson wanted to kick Lewis so badly, but that would only make this dinner worse then it already was.
"Rich people actually did that?" Alex asked "sent the kid off to another country for an education?"
"Jackson was always special" Lewis said "he took to that culture like a fish to water"
"I didn't know that" Mark said and something in his voice sounded deflated.
Jackson knew Mark was only hearing another thing that Jackson kept from him, but that was a lifetime ago and Jackson didn't talk to anybody about those 3 years.
"Why don't you order for us" Alex said "I trust your judgement". Looking over at the man Jackson nodded his head in approval. Raising his hands Jackson called the waiter over and once the man arrived, all bright smiles and friendly demeanour, Jackson started to speak.
"Puis-je obtenir trois des poissons grillés pour nous trois et pour le monsieur en face de moi je vais avoir la plaque d'escargot." Jackson said and the waiter looked impressed that Jackson spoke to him so fluently.
"Right away, sir" the waiter said and left to place their orders.
"Damn" Alex said "colour me impressed"
"It's not that hard really" Jackson told him "you can't help but pick it up after being around it so long"
"You pick up a lot of things" Lewis said and looking up he saw the angry stare he got from Jackson "or so I hear".
Mark and Alex obviously felt the tension between the two brothers and to their credit they tried to keep the mood upbeat. Talking about the hospital, or how well Mark was doing in his rehab.
"I'm telling you I'm a lucky man to have such a gifted therapist" Mark said and Lewis looked down bashfully.
"It's good to have a patient who doesn't mind putting in the hard work".
Jackson looked between the two and Mark wasn't probably even aware that he was flirting with Lewis, but Jackson was and Lewis most definitely was.
"So what are your plans when Mark is better?" Jackson asked "back to Boston to work with Granddad?"
Lewis looked at his brother and Jackson knew he had got the dig at his taking a position that their grandfather had saved for Lewis.
A position that Jackson had rejected, having made his own mark at a hospital that didn't even know he was Harper Avery's grandson.
The table was quiet for a moment before Lewis spoke "Chief Hunt has let me know that he is interested in keeping me on long-term, but of course it's only if I accept" then grabbing Alex's hand Lewis looked over and smiled at the man and got a similar look of adoration from Alex "and I'm finding quite a few reasons to stay"
Looking over at the two then at Mark who gave a warm smile at the two Jackson barely managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes.
Before Jackson could say anything two waiters came out holding two dishes of food each. Sitting the plates down Mark and Alex looked happy with the food that sat in front of them, the same dish Jackson had.
"It's called a sculptis Cottus petiti and it's a fish only found in France. It's delicious" Jackson said and looked over at Lewis who looked down at his plate that was remarkably different from the others.
It was gray-ish and looked completely unappetizing "What is it?" Lewis asked keeping his voice friendly. Jackson knew Lewis wasn't going to let him see that he had made the man angry.
"Snails" Jackson said with a friendly grin "I've never had them, but I remember how adventurous you are when it comes to food"
"Thanks" Lewis said with a tight smile.
"No problem" Jackson told him before taking a bite of his fish "enjoy"
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark looked between Jackson and Lewis and he could feel the tension in the air. He could tell that Jackson ordered the snails for Lewis while everyone else got the same just to bother Lewis and he honestly didn't like it very much. He thought they could have a nice dinner together - the four of them - and it could make Lewis and Jackson getting closer, but obviously he was wrong. Even though the two tried to hide it, Mark knew how uncomfortable both of them felt.
Because he knew Jackson and he knew how to read him, and Lewis was - as scary as it was - almost as easy to read, even though both of them most likely didn't even realize it.
They were SO similar when it came to this and Mark was surprised about how much their eyes told him, when he looked really closely.
No one on the table was talking, and the silence was getting really uncomfortable, so Mark decided to do something.
"Have you ever tried this fish, Lewis?" he asked him with an open smile.
Lewis shook his head. "No... not yet... I haven't eaten any French food at all... not that I remember... I'm normally not so much the type for this kind of food..." He shrugged. "And unlike Jackson I wasn't at this boarding school."
Mark looked at Alex and then back at Lewis and he hoped, Alex would understand, because it would look pretty crazy if he would offer Lewis a bite of his fish, but luckily, Alex picked up on it.
"Wanna have a bite?" he asked, looking at Lewis, and if Mark didn't know better, he would say they were completely in love, but what he could see was that they were at least enjoying each other's company and that they were happy.
"Sure..." Lewis said, turning to him and letting Alex feed him with the fish.
"It's really delicious..." He said after he had swallowed and looked at his own plate. "Wanna taste mine, too?"
Alex looked sceptical. "I... don't know, man... it won't kill me, right?"
Lewis let out a chuckle. "No... at least I don't think so... but if it does, you have three doctors around to administer first aid..."
"That's really soothing..." Alex replied with a sarcastic tone in his voice, and took a bite of Lewis' snails.
Once it was in his mouth, he grimaced, spitting it out in his napkin. "Eeew... that's disgusting. How can you even eat that?" He looked at Jackson reproachful before he turned to Lewis again. "What about we get rid of this... thing... and order the same for you?"
Lewis shook his head. "No, that's not necessary... I'm not really hungry anymore anyways." He replied, shoving his plate a few centimetres away.
"Are you sure?" Alex asked, his gaze never leaving Lewis'.
"Yeah... but you enjoy your meal, okay?" He placed a soft kiss on Alex' cheek before getting up.
"Where are you going?" Alex asked immediately, grabbing his wrist.
"I'll be right back, baby... I just need to go to the bathroom..." Lewis replied, smiling down at Alex and making his way towards the toilets.
Mark looked right after him, and he couldn't get rid of the feeling that something here was wrong.
He put down his knife and his fork and getting up. "I need to go to the bathroom too." he said, causing Jackson to really look alarmed.
"Now?" he asked.
"Yes, now!" Mark replied sharper than he intended to. He didn't like the direction that dinner was going into and he hoped he could talk to Lewis about it. He hoped he could catch him at the toilet and see if he could make things right.
When he entered the bathroom, Lewis was standing in front of a washbowl, looking slightly pale. His face was wet and he didn't look all too good.
"Hey Lewis, are you okay?" he asked, carefully placing a hand on Lewis' shoulder.
Lewis turned around, startled, leaning back against the tile wall behind him. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm worried about you," Mark replied truthfully. "And I'm sorry about Jackson... this wasn't how I pictured the evening would go."
"It's not your fault, Mark... Jackson was always... like this... it's no surprise that he tries to come down on me every possibility he gets..." Lewis looked up at Mark. "And it's not that I don't deserve it... I mean... I haven't been a saint myself..."
The last part of his answer surprised Mark. Jackson had literally told him that Lewis wanted revenge for whatever Jackson did to him, but he even admitted to it.
"Well... I think you have a reason to... but I mean... this was years ago... can't you just make peace with each other?" Mark asked.
Lewis tilted his head in surprise. "He told you about Tyler?"
Tyler. Now this was a name Mark hadn't heard before and he couldn't help the curious feeling welling up inside of him. "Well..." he started. "He told me that he came in between you and someone you really loved..."
Lewis let out a laugh. "Oh. Is that so?" He shook his head. "You could call it that way, yes... I would call it sleeping with my fiancé the night before our wedding..."
With a shocked expression Mark looked at Lewis. "Are you serious?"
"Yes!" Lewis blurted out, and the look on his face was full of pain. "Believe me, this is nothing I would joke about... I've caught them in our bed, because we decided not to spend the night before our wedding together... it was stupid, but kind of romantic..." He leaned against the wall again, looking down at his feet. "I know it's years ago, but it still hurts, okay? As much as I hate to admit it, but Tyler was the love of my life and Jackson just took him away... how would you feel if someone took Jackson away from you, huh?" With this question he looked up at Mark again, moving closer towards him.
"How would you feel if you find Jackson in bed with your brother the morning of your wedding?"
Mark swallowed hard. "I... I don't have a brother..." he replied, saying the first thing that came to his mind.
"Well... it doesn't matter... I can tell you, it felt like someone was ripping my heart right out of my chest... I thought I would suffocate..." Lewis went on, standing in front of Mark and grabbing one of his hands, placing it on his chest. "I am surprised that it's still beating, you know?"
Mark stared down at him, into his big blue eyes, and they had the same intensity Jackson's had when he was really serious about something. He even forgot to breathe for a moment, because he was so lost in this moment.
"I'm... I'm sorry..." he choked out, not moving an inch. "I didn't know that..."
"Yeah... I assumed Jackson wouldn't swagger about that... it's typical him to only tell the things his way... to not make him look all that bad." Lewis gave back.
Mark closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again, Lewis' face was very close to his own. "What... what are you doing?" he asked, his heart beating like crazy.
"I'm going to take away the one thing Jackson loves most in the world..." Lewis replied and before Mark had the chance to react, Lewis had already approached his personal space and pressed his lips on Mark's.
It took Mark a couple of seconds to react, but he immediately pushed Lewis away from him. "Stop it!" he said, taking a step back. "You're with Alex..."
"We're not a couple," Lewis replied immediately. "So we're not exclusive."
"So you thought you could go after me next?" Mark tilted his head.
"Well... you're sexy... and I think we could have a lot of fun together," Lewis suggested, moving closer again, but that only caused Mark to move back further.
"No. This is not the solution. You're only doing this to hurt Jackson... to make him feel the same pain you felt." He replied. "I get it... I really do... but this is... this won't make you happy in the long run. And it won't bring you back Tyler..."
"Maybe not..." Lewis replied, looking guilty for a moment. "But I don't think Jackson deserves you... I don't think Jackson deserves all of this after what he did." He let out a sigh. "You should probably get back to him now... I'm sure he's starting to get worried."
The situation felt awkward all of a sudden, and Mark knew that the problems between Jackson and Lewis were bigger than he thought. Also, he just needed to digest what Lewis had just told him. He didn't even know if he should talk to Jackson about it, but there were always two parts of a story and he wanted to hear Jackson's version.
"I will..." Mark finally replied and turned around, only to run into Alex on the way out.
"Is Lewis okay?" he asked concerned, causing Mark to shrug. "You better ask him that..." And with those words he left the bathroom and went back to the table, sitting down next to Jackson again.
He looked down at his plate and pushed it away, turning to Jackson. "I don't think I'm hungry anymore..." he said, feeling slightly numb. This was just too much for one day and he rather wanted to go home, lie down and fall asleep next to Jackson. And forget that this evening had ever happened. He could still feel Lewis' lips on his own and never had something felt so wrong. He couldn't believe that he hadn't seen it coming and blamed himself for it. He shouldn't have tried to handle the situation; he shouldn't have tried to make everything better, because in the end he had only made it worse for all of them.