A/N: Here we are again… I'm sorry I don't post new chapters that often at the moment, but real life keeps me pretty busy… We still have a lot of "material" here for at least 15 more chapters, I just always have to "re-read" them for errors and such, and that takes quite some time…
Anyway… thanks for all your comments again and even though the story IS depressing at the moment, I can promise you, there will be better times… :-)
This Chapter contains a "new character POV" by the way… hope, you like it! And a lot of memories! =)
Have fun with Chapter 33!
Jackson Avery POV:
Jackson was packing the last few bits of his belongings when Tyler interrupted him. Standing in the doorway he looked at Jackson and cocked his head.
"Where are you going?"
Fuck. Jackson had hoped to be gone before the two men returned home. Throwing the last shirt into his duffel bag he zipped it up "I completely forgot that I have this thing in New York" Jackson said with a smile "it completely escaped me"
"A thing?" Tyler asked as he took a step into the room "you can't put it off; at least until after the wedding?"
Jackson could see the disappointment in Tyler's eyes "I'm sorry" he told him "it's just really important that I get back" and lifting his bag over his shoulders Jackson walked past Tyler.
"You know Lewis didn't mean what he said this morning"
Turning around Jackson looked at Tyler solemnly. It was no point in pretending that Jackson didn't know what Tyler was talking about.
"Yeah, he did" Jackson said "but it's not like I haven't done enough messed up things to him to deserve it. It's going to be his day and you seem to make him very happy and if my not being here makes it easier for him then I can do that"
"We're going to be family soon" Tyler responded "and I want you there"
"You seem like a really nice guy, Tyler and I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it was a mistake coming here" Jackson turned back around and was heading down the stairs when suddenly Tyler cut him off.
"Do you need me to beg?" he asked "because I'll beg. I have very little shame"
The comment got a laugh from Jackson "It's sweet really but-"
"Look, to avoid me falling to the ground and wrapping my arms around your legs to stop you from leaving, how about we make a deal?" Tyler asked "If I can get Lewis on board with having you at the wedding you'll stay. Just give me one night"
Jackson was quiet for a moment, but seeing how much it meant to Tyler softened Jackson up.
"Okay"
"Yay" he said giving Jackson a huge hug and taking the duffel bag out of his hand Tyler walked it back to Jackson's room.
"You won't regret this, Jackson. Trust me"
The ride back to Mark's apartment was excruciatingly quiet. None of the men spoke a word as Mark dropped off Lewis and Alex at Lewis' apartment. Jackson didn't miss the two men saying goodbye to Mark without sparing Jackson so much as a look.
Once he and Mark parked the car and made their way inside Mark's apartment Jackson loosened his tie "I'm going to bed" Jackson said as he kicked off his shoes and headed for the bedroom.
"No" Mark spoke "you don't get to ignore what happened tonight. We need to talk about it."
With a sigh Jackson turned around. He knew it was coming, but man, it was the last thing he wanted to do.
"How you acted tonight was totally uncalled for" Mark said "I know you're better than that"
"No you don't" Jackson said before he could stop himself "just like you don't know why I did it."
Mark looked taken aback by the harsh tone in Jackson's voice "Then tell me" he said as he crossed his arms.
Placing his hands on his hips Jackson felt such an underlying sense of tiredness. It was deep down in his bones and he knew no amount of sleep was going to get rid of it, but he still wanted to do nothing else but close his eyes and forget the night.
"Can we just talk about this in the morning?" Jackson asked "it's been a long night"
"Lewis told me about Tyler" Mark said "about what happened between you and Tyler"
Jackson felt like he had just been punched in the stomach. Why had Lewis told him? Jackson knew his brother shared his same sense of privacy and for Lewis to reveal that was...unexpected.
"Tyler?" Jackson questioned.
"STOP IT" Mark yelled "you know what I'm talking about and I want to know why. No more of these half-truths and things you tell me just to move away from the conversation."
Jackson felt like the room was suddenly burning up. He had never wanted to have this talk, and now that it was right here in his lap he knew there was no way of avoiding it.
"What do you want me to say?" Jackson asked "what if I told you I slept with Tyler, because after a lifetime of being looked down on by Lewis; after years of Lewis telling me I was only a pretty face who added nothing to the world I decided to fuck his fiancé the night before his wedding because I knew it would hurt him?" Jackson could feel his mind trying to shut him up, but his mouth had it's own plans.
"That for once I could take something away from Lewis after years of him taking things away from me? I was a selfish whore who did it for no other reason then it felt good" Jackson hadn't meant to sound so angry, but he couldn't help himself.
Jackson I-" Mark started to say before Jackson put his hand up.
"Or maybe Tyler was the first person that talked to me like I was worthy of his time. The first person that didn't see me as my father's son; destined to end up alone with a bottle of pills"
Jackson could see Mark look down to the ground.
"Tell me, Mark" Jackson asked "When Lewis told you this how long did it take you to believe it?"
"I didn't believe it" Mark told him urgently "not at first"
"But you did believe it" Jackson said with a sad smile "You want the truth Mark? Fine, here it is. The night before my brother's wedding Tyler came to my room because he was terrified. He loved Lewis so much that the thought that my brother would actually be his made his stomach turn into knots. That all we did was talk until the middle of the night and we fell asleep in the same bed. Lewis came in the next morning and he thought I had slept with Tyler, because to him that's the kind of thing I did"
Jackson found it hard to look at Mark "I've worked so hard to separate myself from the person I used to be, but if the man I love more then anything else in the world believes I could do something like that I guess I haven't changed that much, have I?"
"I'm sorry" Mark said "I just...you're so secretive and you keep so much of yourself locked away"
"I get it" Jackson said "It's not like you're the first person to think that. I mean you were pretty sure I slept with Holt"
"That's not fair" Mark said angrily "you've been lying to me for weeks and now you're going to throw that back in my face"
Jackson knew this argument was only going to get worse and putting his shoes back on he headed for the door.
"You're right Mark, it's not fair and I'm sorry" he said "I think it's best I just sleep at my apartment tonight"
"No Jackson we-"
"Goodnight, Mark" Jackson said and exiting he made his way back to the elevator and out of the building. This night was a disaster and as he hailed a cab and got in the only silver lining was that he could finally go home and sleep…
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark stared at the door and couldn't turn his gaze away long after Jackson had left. He had wanted to talk to him about everything, but he hadn't expected their conversation to turn out like that again. He hadn't wanted to fight with Jackson again. He was so sick of all the fighting and he seriously started asking himself what he was doing it for and if it was worth it. He loved Jackson from the bottom of his heart, but sometimes Love just wasn't enough.
Mark wanted him and Jackson to work out. So bad. But he didn't know where to take the energy to pull through anymore. Every fight with Jackson took away a part of himself and he just wanted to be happy. Which he had been with Jackson before the whole downward spiral had started.
It took him a while until his shock fainted and he moved into the living room, sitting down on the couch and closing his eyes.
Maybe he should have talked to Jackson differently. Maybe he should have asked him about Tyler instead of going like a bull at a gate.
He didn't understand what Jackson had just told him, though. Lewis had been so sure that Tyler and Jackson had slept together the night before their wedding, but if nothing had happened, why hadn't Jackson told Lewis? Why hadn't Tyler?
If he was in Lewis' situation, he would at least have wanted the truth. He would have talked to his fiancé. He would have known if he had told him the truth or not.
Shaking his head, Mark got up and went to the fridge to take out a bottle of beer.
This all was such a mess and the problems between Lewis and Jackson were bad. Really bad. He shouldn't have gotten in between them. He shouldn't have invited Lewis and Alex for dinner tonight. Then he and Jackson would have spent a wonderful evening together, but now they were not talking to each other again.
He had no idea how they could ever have a real loving relationship - one that Mark desired so much - if they fought every time they really tried to talk to each other. If they lied to each other constantly and kept secrets from each other. This was all so messed up and maybe some time apart would do them good.
Just a couple of hours Mark had asked Jackson to move in together and now he wasn't even sure they were still together. Maybe it was time to let go just a little bit, because right now he was asking himself if it was still worth fighting for. He wasn't sure about that anymore.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a knock at the door. Surprised, he looked up. He didn't expect anyone, so he had no idea who it could be. Maybe Jackson? Hope awoke in him. Maybe Jackson was back to talk to him again.
He placed his beer bottle on the living room table and went to the door immediately, only to find Arizona with Sofia on her arm standing in front of him.
A disappointed sigh left his lips. "Oh... it's just you..."
Arizona raised an eyebrow. "Nice to see you too, Mark..." the blond woman replied, looking up at him.
"Sorry... I just..." Mark started, biting his lip. "I hoped it would be Jackson..."
"Oh... okay... is he coming over?" Arizona asked when Sofia started to grouch. "It's okay, Sofia... I'm here..." Arizona tried to calm her down, rocking her in her arms.
"No... I highly doubt that..." Mark replied, looking at his daughter. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know..." Arizona gave back. "She's been grumpy the whole evening, and she wouldn't sleep... so I thought you could maybe help me? If you're really not busy..."
"Where's Callie?" Mark asked, taking Sofia from Arizona and immediately, his daughter leaned against him, grabbing his shirt.
"Double shift. She won't be back until noon and normally I can handle Sofia just fine... I don't know what's wrong with her," Arizona said, letting out a distressed sigh. "I'm sorry to bother you..."
"No, it's okay, don't worry... come in..." Mark hurriedly said and took a step aside so Arizona could move into the hallway. "In fact, I could need some distraction anyways... so your timing couldn't be more perfect."
Gently, Arizona put a hand on Mark's arm. "What's wrong? Wanna talk about it?"
Mark looked down at Sofia. "Later... when she's in bed... Not that I think she would understand it anyways, but... you never know..."
Arizona nodded. "Okay..." She replied, following Mark into the living room.
It took them about an hour until Sofia finally fell asleep and Mark could carry her to her bedroom. They had played with her and tried to entertain her, and after a while she fortunately had become really tired and had fallen asleep on Mark's arm.
"You're really good with her," Arizona commented with a smile once Mark had put her down in her bed.
"You too. Just because she had a bad day doesn't mean you're a bad mother..." Mark smiled.
"I know..." Arizona replied, taking Mark's hand and pulling him out of Sofia's room, making him sit down on the sofa. "And now we're alone; you can tell me what happened... I guess it has something to do with Jackson not being here, right?"
Mark nodded, feeling the pain in his heart. "Seriously? I'm glad it's you who brought Sofia over and not Callie, because I'm pretty sure what I'm going to tell you now would have made her hate Jackson again..."
"That doesn't sound good..." Arizona said, gently placing a hand on Mark's thigh.
"It isn't..." Mark bit his lower lip. "It's actually pretty bad and this time I think it might be over..." Speaking it out loud hurt more than he dared to admit, and he had to fight back the tears, feeling a familiar burn in his eyes. "I think I'm losing him..."
"Oh Mark..." Arizona consolingly pulled Mark into a hug and Mark just enjoyed the safety he felt with her for a moment. Even though they had a difficult start and they weren't always on the same page with Sofia and everything: he truly grew to love Arizona and she was a part of his life now. A big part. And she was his friend. He trusted her.
It took him a while to calm down enough to start talking, but when he finally did, Arizona just listened most of the time, holding his hand or stroking his leg or something like that to soothe him.
"And then he left..." Mark ended his story, leaning back against the couch. "And I seriously don't know what to do anymore... he's slipping right through my fingers... more with every day... and I just can't stop it... we're constantly fighting and have more bad times than good..."
"I'm so sorry to hear that..." Arizona replied, touching Mark's face and bringing him to look at her. "But sometimes it's worth it... sometimes it's worth all the pain and the tears... I know what I'm talking about. You know how hard it was with me and Callie... and you don't even want to know how many times I've asked myself if it's worth it... but look at us today... we're a family. We have a little daughter and we're married... I haven't been so happy ever..."
"But I did everything wrong... I should have trusted him..." Mark gave back, starting to blame himself again.
"He didn't give you much reason to trust him..." Arizona disagreed. "And I don't think I would have been as patient as you were... but to be fair: Lewis totally played you... he knew exactly what to do or what to say to tear you and Jackson apart... and he said it himself - he wants to take everything away from Jackson, starting with you."
"So what do you suggest I should do?" Mark asked earnestly.
"I don't know... but right from the start... right from the moment I first met Lewis, I had a VERY bad feeling about him, and normally, my gut feeling is right," Arizona said. "And it was right this time as well, as it looks like." She looked up at Mark. "If you break up with Jackson now, Lewis has everything he wanted... but it's not that I wouldn't understand if you do... it's not up to me to make this decision..."
"I love him, Arizona... I love him so much... but I just don't know how to deal with him anymore... there are so many things he keeps from me. Why couldn't he be honest with me? Why couldn't he just tell me that something's wrong between him and Lewis instead of acting like they have a good relationship?" Mark buried his head in his hands.
"Maybe he was ashamed? Or maybe he was afraid what you would think about him if he told you the whole truth?" Arizona suspected. "I can't even imagine what he must have been going through, because after what you've told me, it sounds like Lewis and Jackson have made each other's lives a living hell..."
"Yeah... I just don't get why Jackson hasn't cleared the air between him and Lewis... why he and this Tyler haven't told Lewis that nothing had happened between them... I mean, it was all a big misunderstanding, if I believe Jackson's words..." Mark said.
And Arizona immediately called him on it. "If you believe Jackson's words? Do you think he lied to you again?"
"I don't know what to believe anymore, Ari..." Mark blurted out. "He hasn't made it easy for me to trust him or his words..."
"I get it..." Arizona replied, rubbing Mark's leg. "But deep down you know the truth... I'm sure deep down you already have made your decision... and you know it will be the right one..."
Mark shrugged. "I don't know anymore... and maybe Jackson doesn't even want to be with me anymore after I didn't trust him..."
"There's only one way to find out..." Arizona grabbed Mark's phone and passed it to Mark. "Call him..."
Immediately, Mark shook his head. "No... No, I can't do that..."
"Why not?" she asked, tilting her head.
"Because... it's too early for that... I need time to process everything that has happened..." Mark sighed.
"Okay..." Arizona got up and kissed the top of Mark's head. "But don't wait too long, okay?" She turned around, walking to the door. "I'll collect Sofia in the morning... have a good night."
"You too..." Mark replied, smiling at her. "And thanks for everything..."
Arizona waved dismissively. "Nah... it's okay... really... I'm glad I could be there for you like you've been there for me several times..." She left the apartment and Mark was alone again, still not knowing what to do, but one thing was definite: he had to talk to Jackson again, even if it "only" was to break up with him, but he couldn't leave it at that. And the things Arizona had said really made him think and gave him new hope. Maybe it wasn't too late after all.
Jackson Avery POV:
Jackson had tossed and turned for the better part of an hour before he accepted the fact that sleep was going to elude him for the night. All he could do was replay him and Mark's argument over and over in his head.
It had been their worst by far and if Mark wasn't seriously considering ending things before, he most certainly was now.
Why had Lewis told him about Tyler? It made absolutely no sense and Jackson knew that something must have happened between he and Mark in that bathroom to make Lewis turn that vulnerable.
Now that the truth was out there all Jackson could do was just waiting for the fallout. He wasn't sure what that would be, but he knew that it was going to be bad.
Tyler had come to Jackson's room looking nothing short of rattled. He was wringing his hands and his forehead was dotted with sweat.
"What's the matter?" Jackson asked him concerned "everything okay?"
"Yeah...I mean I'm pretty sure" Tyler told him "mind if we talk?"
Nodding his head Jackson moved to the side in order to let Tyler enter his room "Sure, come on in"
Tyler walked in and took a deep breath. Jackson had grown to really like Tyler and seeing him this troubled was unsettling "You gotta tell me something Tyler, because I'm starting to get a little freaked out here"
Turning around Tyler looked at him wide-eyed "Do you think we're doing the right thing?"
"What?" Jackson asked "You and Lewis?"
"Yeah" Tyler scratched the back of his neck "I mean we're getting married tomorrow and I can't stop thinking that I'm going to do something to fuck it up"
"Don't be ridiculous" Jackson laughed "you got him to ask me to stay. I think that pretty much says you can create miracles"
The line got a smile from Tyler before he sat down on Jackson's bed "He loves you, Jackson" Tyler said "he just works very hard at trying to bury it"
Walking over Jackson sat next to his future brother-in-law "I know" he told him "me and Lewis have always had a...complicated relationship"
Looking over at Jackson Tyler smiled "I'm glad you decided to stay" he said and Jackson's heart warmed at the sincerity.
"Me too" he responded "and whatever doubts you have about being a good husband wash them away. I see the way Lewis looks at you and there is nothing you could do that will make him stop loving you"
Tyler looked better then when he had first come in and it made Jackson feel good that he could do something to help the man who had done so much for him in the short amount of time they had known one another.
"Thanks" Tyler said "I mean it"
"No problem" Jackson responded "so tell me how you and my brother met. Knowing my brother I'm pretty sure it's an interesting story" and it was.
Tyler and Jackson stayed up until 3 a.m. talking about Tyler's first meeting with Lewis and the weeks of failed attempts by Tyler to ask Lewis out until Lewis agreed, but mostly out of frustration.
Jackson didn't remember falling asleep, but when he woke up the feel of the sun shining in his face and the escalating sound of two angry voices greeted him.
"WAKE UP" Lewis yelled as he roughly shook his brother "WAKE UP YOU SON OF A BITCH"
Jackson was disoriented as he felt Lewis pull him out of bed "What's going on?" he asked as his vision came into focus. He saw Lewis furious and Tyler standing behind him scared.
"I should have known better than to keep you around" Lewis said to Jackson "some lowlife junkie"
Jackson stood there shocked. He couldn't fathom why Lewis was so angry since the two brothers had been more civil to each other than they had been in years.
"What's going on?"
"What's going on?" Lewis repeated "you fucking Tyler the night before we were supposed to get married. That's what's going on!"
Jackson laughed. He couldn't help himself, but the notion had been too ludicrous not to.
Lewis obviously didn't think so because the next thing Jackson knew Lewis had punched him hard enough to cause him to flop back down on the bed.
"STOP" he heard Tyler yell as he ran over to Lewis and grabbed the man around the waist "it's not what it looks like"
This time it was Lewis who laughed "Where did you get that?" he asked Tyler "cliché lines 101?" and breaking out of his hold Lewis made his way towards the door.
Jackson wiped the blood from his lip as he looked at his brother "Lewis I-"
"You know what my biggest disappointment in life is Jackson?" Lewis asked "it's that you're still here and dad is gone. It should have been you"
"LEWIS" Tyler shouted angrily.
"Save it" Lewis said and for the first time his voice cracked as the first few tears started to fall "I hope you two are very happy together. You deserve each other"
That would be the last time Tyler or Jackson would see Lewis until the man showed up on their doorstep two years later.
Jackson would never forget the look on Lewis' face right before he left or how utterly crushed he had felt at Lewis' words. He had known his brother had hated him, but he had never known he hated him that much.
In the years that followed Jackson and Tyler had found their relationship evolve and Jackson knew the man he tried to be. The better man that wanted more from life was thanks to him.
Once Lewis had told the family about what he believed had happened they had followed Lewis' lead of cutting him out completely.
The teary declaration of his mother as she handed him a stack of bills and told him that she could no longer stand by and watch Jackson destroy himself and the ones who were trying to help him had hurt more then he thought it would, but he would not let her see that.
He wanted to show them that he was more than the mess they believed him to be. He could be something they could...that his father could be proud of.
Jackson had worked so hard to change himself. He had kicked his habit for good and followed the family's legacy into medicine. Once his mother and grandfather heard how well he did they started to believe in him and for the first time in life he felt important to them.
Lewis, though. Lewis would always see him the exact same way. Then, to make it worse, it was bleeding into the life he had now.
Alex, Michael, and worst of all Mark saw him no different.
What was the point of it all if it all lead to the same place?
Alone.
Pulling his cell-phone out he quickly dialled a number and waited for the person to answer.
"Hey" Gary Stiles said
"Hey, this is Jackson. We met that club Rooftop a few days ago"
"Oh, yeah, Jackson. How goes it?" the man asked brightly.
"Good" Jackson responded "Look, I was wondering if you're not busy you could meet me at my apartment"
"Sure" Gary said "just give me your address and I can be there in about 30"
"Okay" Jackson told him and after giving the man his address and saying his goodbyes he rolled his shoulders. He wasn't going to feel guilty about doing this.
He deserved to be happy and if he was going to loose Mark, if he was going to loose his friends than at least he could blunt out the pain as much as possible.
Arizona Robbins POV:
Arizona had had a rough night. After she had left Mark, she couldn't find any sleep at all. She had to think about all the things Mark had told her, and she couldn't even imagine how lonely Jackson must have felt and how lonely he would feel right now. She didn't even know why, but she totally related to him. More than to Mark, even though that was completely wrong. Especially considering how much the others - like Callie - seemed to like Jackson's brother and how reserved they were with Jackson in the beginning.
Sighing, Arizona turned around, taking a look at the clock and noticing that she would have to get up in an hour anyways to get to the hospital. Fortunately, she only needed to survive a six hours shift, because Chief Hunt had insisted upon her taking it slow in the beginning and she wasn't back for thislong. Now she was thankful for it.
She got up and off the bed, taking a long hot shower and drinking two cups of coffee, before she got dressed and left her apartment to collect Sofia, but Mark told her that she was still asleep when she knocked at his door, and that he would take care of her for the day.
Arizona had to bite her tongue not to tell him to talk to Jackson again, because she had already done that enough and she didn't want to pressure Mark, even though she still thought the two of them deserved another chance.
She didn't know why she was so empathic, and sometimes she hated it, but right now she was sure it was for a good reason. And that Jackson really would need a friend.
She left the apartment building and made her way to the hospital, getting into her lab coat there and making her way to the paediatric station where she met Alex.
Immediately she made her way to him, noticing that he looked pretty tired. "You okay?" She asked, tilting his head. She knew he had had the night off, so he should be well rested.
Alex shrugged. "Rough night," he replied.
"Wanna talk about it?" Arizona offered, but - as usual - Alex denied by shaking his head.
"No... I'd rather get to work... A lot of patients today..." Alex tried to distract her, but of course she didn't buy it. Because she knew he was lying.
"I'm still the head of Peds, you know? And I'm aware about our patients... so what's wrong?" Arizona asked, grabbing Alex' arm.
"Nothing... it's just... a little difficult to be the one that stands in between Lewis and Jackson." Alex finally said.
Arizona let out a sigh. Yeah. That. Mark had told her that Alex and Lewis had something going on, and she didn't like it the tiniest bit. Especially considering the fact that she had heard about April's pregnancy too and that she couldn't believe Alex didn't still love her. She hadn't seen him this happy since Izzie left.
"You really think Lewis is right for you?" She looked up at Alex with serious eyes, immediately noticing that this was his sore spot.
"That's none of your business," Alex angrily replied. "He makes me happy."
"Oh, does he?" Arizona asked back. "Because right now you don't look happy."
"Yeah, but that's just because Lewis' nice little brother won't stop bothering him..." Alex commented, taking a patient chart from the counter and opening it.
"Oh, I'm sure Lewis is the poor little victim in all of this and never did anything to hurt Jackson," Arizona sarcastically replied.
Alex raised an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Arizona rolled her eyes, letting out a sigh. "Maybe your nice little fuck buddy..." She became more and quieter with every word. "...because I'm sure that's what he is..." She looked up at Alex. "...maybe he isn't as poor as you think it is... Have you ever considered that he might have done bad things to Jackson, too?"
Now it was up to Alex to roll his eyes. "I know he's no saint... neither am I... and Jackson is still my friend, but I just don't know how to handle him anymore... we used to be on the same wave length, but it's like he's drifting away from me... and I can't stop it. Not as long as I'm with Lewis..."
"Then stop being with Lewis," Arizona stated.
Alex let out a laugh. "You think it's that easy, huh?"
"You still can get back together with April. You two still have a chance... Alex, she's carrying your child... she loves you..." Arizona appealed to Alex' honour, but he just shut her off immediately.
"Leave April out of this, she has nothing to do with it... and Lewis actually means something to me. I like him, a lot... and we will take things slow and see where it gets us... who knows, maybe in a few months we'll have a real relationship."
"In a few months you could be a father... You will be a father..." Arizona tried again, but Alex turned away.
"I'm gonna make my rounds now, if you'll excuse me..."
"Alex, please..." Arizona tried, but Alex didn't pay any attention anymore. He just stormed off, leaving her standing there in the hallway, letting out a deep sigh.
Awesome... Now that went better than expected, Arizona thought sarcastically, grabbing another patient chart and making her way to her first patient's room.
It was already noon when she finally managed to get a break and even though she still didn't know if it was a good thing to get in between Lewis and Jackson as well, she knew she needed to see Jackson. To talk to him. To let him know that there was someone having his back.
She made his way to Jackson's office and knocked at the door, not even waiting for his invitation, but opening it and getting in.
Jackson was sitting at his desk, looking up at her and she could totally tell that he hadn't slept much this night either.
"Dr. Robbins... what can I do for you?" Jackson asked distantly.
Arizona let out a sigh. "First, don't Dr. Robbins me... I'm Arizona... and you're practically family..."
"No I'm not..." Jackson disagreed. "And after all that happened last night, I might not even have a boyfriend anymore."
"That's where you're wrong..." Arizona immediately said. "Mark loves you... very much..."
"And you're here to tell me I've hurt him very much, that I've behaved like an asshole and that I should stop hurting him like all the others before, right?" Jackson replied, looking up at her.
"No!" she stated, causing Jackson to tilt his head in surprise.
"No?"
"No!" Arizona repeated. "I am here to tell you that you're not alone... and that what you're going through must be pretty hard... I care for you, Jackson... a lot... and I know that Mark and you love each other and that you could be really happy..."
"I doubt Mark still wants to be with me..." Jackson said, turning away. Arizona could tell how much this whole situation got to him.
"Wrong again. Mark even told me that he thinks he made a mistake by just trusting Lewis, but after Lewis kissed him, and..." Arizona started, and immediately was cut off by Jackson.
"He did what?!"
"Oh... Shit... you didn't know..." Arizona immediately felt bad for letting it slip.
"That's typical my brother... that's sohim... and he already told me he would destroy my life... he's on a good way..." Jackson said bitterly.
Arizona moved closer, sitting down in front of Jackson's desk and placing a hand over Jackson's.
"Don't let that happen... No matter what you did or didn't do, no one deserves this... Mark told me everything, and I believe you."
"You do?" Jackson seemed surprised, again.
"Of course. If you say you haven't slept with this Tyler guy the night before your brother's wedding, you haven't. Why would you say something like that? I can't believe Mark bought that even for a second. He should know you better, but the thing with Mark is..." Arizona started explaining. "He..." She thought about it for a moment, but then she decided it was time to tell him about Addison. "He slept with his best friend's wife..."
"With Meredith?" Jackson assumed, but Arizona shook her head immediately.
"No, not Meredith..." She smiled. "Derek... was married before... to Addison... I'm sure you've heard of her..."
"Yeah, right... She helped with some cases here a couple of times... I totally forgot about her being Shepherd's ex-wife," Jackson replied.
Arizona nodded. "Yeah... well... Mark had an affair with her while she was still married to Derek... he even got her pregnant."
"Mark has another kid?" Jackson stepped in.
"No... she had an abortion because she wanted to get another chance with Derek... didn't work out in the end as you can imagine, but this whole thing... put a toll on their friendship... they hadn't talked to each other for years... and it was really difficult to overcome everything as you can imagine... but they are the best example that it could work... and like I said... there did something happen between Addison and Mark... he knows if there are feelings involved, such things can happen... and I think that's the reason he believed Lewis..." Arizona explained. "I know that's no excuse... but there is a lot you two need to talk about. Mark definitely doesn't want to give up on you. He told me how much he loves you and that you're worth fighting for... he just doesn't know how much of it he can take anymore..." she said honestly, really hoping that telling Jackson this story would make him understand Mark at least a little better.
"I know it wasn't up to me to tell you that, but I hope it makes you see that Mark and you... aren't this different... and that you both have secrets..."
Gently, Arizona stroked the back of Jackson's hand. "Sometimes, Love just isn't enough, but sometimes it's worth fighting for. I wouldn't be where I am now, if I had given up that easy, and it wasn't really easy between me and Callie as well as you know... but we managed to overcome our fears and now I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. And you could be, too, if you just started trusting Mark... and if he starts trusting you. It's nothing that can happen over night, but you can learn..."
She gave him an earnest smile.
"And maybe some day even Lewis and you can overcome whatever is between you... I wish I still had a brother I could overcome some fight with... so consider yourself lucky to still have Lewis... life can be very short sometimes," she said with a sad look in her eyes. It somehow really made her sad that Jackson and Lewis had such a difficult relationship and she wanted to fix it. She just didn't know how. Not yet at least.
Eli Lloyd POV:
Eli was a morning person. Had been all his life. He liked to get up at the crack of dawn to go for a run before starting his day at Seattle Grace.
Even though the hospital had long since changed it's name to Seattle Grace Mercy West he could never seem to stop calling it by it's original moniker.
The fresh morning air helped him clear his thoughts and prepared him for whatever the day would bring. At a hospital that had dealt with a mass shooting, a plane crash, and a bombing all within a matter of years Eli knew to prepare for any and every possible scenario.
Walking into the building he greeted the usual desk staff and made his way down to the nurse's locker room. So many people fought against comfort; believing that the moment things got comfortable things got stale. Not Eli, he could find the joy in routine, in practicing something for so long that you were able to do it perfectly.
More then that however was the people who had made this place their home right along with him. Doctors, fellow nurses, and even the cleaning staff. There were some that had been here long before Eli and others who would be here long after he left.
"Nurse Lloyd" one of the new guys who Eli had come to learn went by Lewis Avery said as he approached him.
"You can call me Eli" he said with a smile, but it seemed Lewis wasn't too interested in pleasantries.
"Right" Lewis said "I hear you're the person I need to see to acquire about additional space for my physical therapy"
"I thought you only had Dr. Sloan?"
Lewis looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and impatience "The chief thought I could do well to start taking on more patients after Sloan and if I'm going to do that I have to start preparing now"
Something about his demeanour made Eli pause. He had heard of the man through the grapevine and other then his own brother, most people seemed to love Lewis. Especially some of Eli's fellow nurses. It reminded him of when the Mercy Westers had first come to Seattle Grace and many of the older nurses had taken to Jackson and his baby face. Treating him like a surrogate son while the younger nurses barely hid the lust in their eyes whenever he threw a smile their way.
The difference between the brothers was that Jackson had been friendly right from the start, young and maybe a little too cocky, but friendly nonetheless.
This Lewis guy didn't seem to possess any of his younger brother's charm, at least not where Eli was concerned and his instant popularity was a bit baffling.
"I'll see what I can do" Eli told Lewis and was about to walk away before Lewis grabbed his arm.
"What you can do?" Lewis repeated "this is kind of a time sensitive situation"
"I understand" Eli said "but finding space is not the easiest thing to do and you're hardly the first priority when it comes to better accommodations"
"What?" Lewis asked "who could possible need more space?"
"You're brother for one" Eli said "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but his office isn't really fitting for a head of a department"
"He'll be fine" Lewis waved dismissively.
"With all do respect, Dr. Avery. That is not your call to make" Eli said "now as I've told you I will see what I can do"
Lewis' face told Eli he wanted to say something, but thought better of it "Fine" Lewis said "let me know what you can do" and with that he turned on his heels and started walking in the opposite direction.
Yeah, Eli really didn't get what was so special about the guy.
His morning was going relatively smoothly. No post-op complications or particularly grumpy patients was a good day for him. He was scheduled to help assist on a surgery with Robbins later in the day and he found himself looking forward to it.
He always liked working with the woman. She held an almost constant sense of cheerfulness that Eli found quite effective. So many of the doctors could get lost in their own heads or egos that they often forgot that there was more to their jobs then just performance.
Dr. Robbins still seemed to find a joy in what she did each and every day.
He was walking towards the Peds wing when he saw her come out of Jackson's office.
"Dr. Robbins" Eli said as he jogged towards the woman "I was wondering if I could go over this surgery you have-" he stopped once he saw the sullen look on the woman's face "are you okay?" he asked.
Arizona looked up at him and Eli could tell she was deciding whether to not make it a concern or just tell Eli the truth.
"This isn't about that fight between Alex and Jackson, is it?"
"I heard you talked to them afterwards" Arizona said "did they tell you what happened?"
If Eli wanted Arizona to be honest with him he had to be honest with her.
"Jackson's brother"
"Figures" Arizona said "I don't get it" she sounded frustrated.
"Is something wrong with Jackson?" Eli asked
"I think his brother is trying to make things difficult for him" Arizona said "apparently the two have a bad history and the elder Avery has a hard time of letting that go"
"I knew there was something about him I didn't like" Eli said.
"You too, huh?" Arizona laughed "seems as if we're a rare breed"
"Tell me about it. If I hear one more nurse mention his eyes I may just scream" Eli told her and when Arizona laughed it made Eli follow.
"I know what you mean. I'm almost sure Callie has a little crush" Arizona joked before seemingly turning serious again "Look Eli...I know we don't know one another that well, but I've seen how much you care about the residents and I was wondering if...I think Jackson could use some support right now. Even just a friendly conversation"
Nodding his head Eli understood completely "Don't worry about it" Eli told her as he put a comforting hand on her shoulder and started to walk towards Jackson's office "I'll see you in a couple hours"
"Thank you, Eli" she told him sincerely
"Don't mention it" and with that he was off.
When Eli got to Jackson's door he noticed that it was cracked open slightly. A simple matter of Arizona not shutting it completely. He knocked a few times and opened it up.
Walking in he could see that Jackson was on his cell. Jackson held up a finger indicating that he wouldn't be on the phone long.
"I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry, Mark and whenever you're ready to speak to me I'll be waiting...okay...I guess that's it. Bye" Jackson whispered into the phone before hanging up.
"Hey Eli" he said with a broken smile "you need something?"
Eli could see the pain Jackson was in and it broke his heart. "I was just thinking that it's been a while since I've seen you"
"Oh, just busy" Jackson said "Owen has me working the pit this week and coupled with my responsibilities to Plastics I guess I don't have much time to be anywhere except the pit or here"
Walking up to the chair across from Jackson's desk he gestured with his hand, asking if he could take a seat to which Jackson nodded yes.
Sitting down he looked at the younger man "that seems like a lot for one person to take on"
Shrugging his shoulders Jackson looked to brush it off "It's why we get in the business in the first place, right?"
"Right" Eli repeated. He was just about to ask Jackson if the man needed help with anything when Dr. Holt burst through the door.
"Jackson" he said "I need to speak with you. Now!"
Looking at the intruding doctor incredulously he turned back around to see Jackson sitting there with fear in his eyes. He had heard rumours about the private close door lunches between Dr. Holt and Jackson, but Eli didn't believe the gossip for one minute.
Eli was the one Jackson had come to when he wanted to do something to make Mark feel better. Eli had seen the love the man had for Mark and nobody in this world was important enough to come between that. Certainly not this over-entitled ass that didn't even have the decency to knock.
"I-I'm kinda busy right now" Jackson said looking down at his desk "if you could come back later"
"No" Michael said "we need to discuss our conversation from the other day. I've decided that it doesn't suit me very well"
"You heard him Dr. Holt" Eli said "he's busy and if you need to discuss something with him you can wait until he comes and sees you"
Michael looked at Eli as if the man had two heads "Who the hell are you?"
"The name is Eli"
"Well, Eli" Michael said sarcastically "this is really of no concern to you" and Holt approached the man as if to intimidate. Standing up Eli raised himself to his full height.
"You're interrupting my meeting with my friend, so I do think that has something to do with me" Eli told him "now unless you want to take a walk with me to the Chief's office to discuss the extreme lack of professionalism I just witnessed I would suggest you leave and not come back until Jackson calls for you"
"Jackson wants me here" Michael said, his voice uncertain.
"Do you want him here, Jackson?" Eli asked without turning around to look at him
"No" Jackson said with a smile.
"There you have it" Eli told Michael "so, if you would be so kind as to close the door on your way out it would be greatly appreciated"
The anger on Michael's face was clear, but with one look at Jackson then back to Eli he turned and stormed out of the office.
Once gone Eli shook his head and returned to his seat "That guy has got some serious issues."
"Thank you" Jackson said "not many people stick up for me like that"
"I don't let anyone talk to my friends that way" Eli told him "so, where were we?"
Looking at Jackson he witnessed the gloom and fear from just moments before replaced with a cheerful expression. The one that all the nurses had fell for when the man first arrived.
Eli would show Jackson that he had at least two people here that would support him no matter what. He was family and family meant something at Seattle Grace Mercy West.