Don't make me wait
Kakashi was as impatient as the groom to finally get over with this big wedding. Unlike Itachi, who had one reason, Kakashi had four of them! One was definitely the pretty bride, but she wasn't the most important. Blondes were, only Kakashi didn't see them around their friends and make sure they would continue with their friendly affectionate behaviour, despite Hinata being married. He didn't expect to catch them while kissing, but he was expecting a little dance or two. What did he get? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Honestly, it was his fault partly.
It wasn't surprising Ino was practically running away from everybody, and especially from her Uchiha date. It was smart to get away from men, considering who her ex-lover was. It was funny how Orochimaru became the ex though. Kakashi should have known Ino, having a crush on Sasuke, would change her mind after seeing young Uchihas could be a match for Sannin. Actually, Kakashi didn't know what happened after he had purposely sent Ino to watch over Orochimaru's training, only that they had a quarrel about it and broke up, therefore, instead of dancing in front of everybody and pretending they were acquaintances, they were both in a bad mood. Consequently, once they disappeared out of Hokage's sight, nobody has seen neither of them.
Running away from Orochimaru and Shisui didn't leave Ino much time to spend with Sakura, because the maid of honour had more duties than ever. Those rare moments she had to herself she spent with Sasuke, happier than ever. Maybe because they were expected to be affectionate around one another, not worried about other people who might think of it as inappropriate. Their dancing was lovely, as one of a couple who was meant to be, one way or the other. Kakashi didn't miss many envious gazes in his former students' direction.
Temari also could have danced, at least a bit, so Kakashi could see her progress. Only she didn't, because she claimed she didn't know how to dance. The only one who could talk her into dancing was Shikamaru and he was freaked out to be alone with her. Again Hokage and his big mouth. Kakashi pointed out too many times how Temari was great and Shikamaru would be a fool to let a woman like that go. Shikamaru agreed, only Kakashi mentioned Gaara's arrival that would definitely make Temari return back home. Shikamaru didn't want it to happen neither he wanted to pop the question during the reception, thinking of it as too tacky. In the end, Shikamaru spent a few moments on the dance floor, then disappeared for good, same like his girlfriend.
The last kunoichi Kakashi wished to dance with was the bride, only Hinata stuck to her husband like glue! Itachi didn't mind, leaving her alone only for a few moments. That was also Kakashi's doing; first he sent Itachi on a mission to be on the road for the whole two weeks and then, as soon as he got back, Kakashi shared his opinion about Naruto and Gaara, who were both young, strong, good-looking and single. Leaving Hinata's side so she could hang out with others meant two jinchuuriki also had that opportunity, and Itachi couldn't let that happen.
All in all, it was frustrating to be a part of the reception, not because none of the young kunoichi could dance with him, but because Kakashi didn't see them together! They weren't in the same room for more than five minutes, of course he could forget them to dance. Or something more.
Nothing on Hinata and Sakura was revealing they confessed what they had done with her blonde friends. Then again, maybe Uchiha brothers were open-minded and encouraging; women who tended to explore with their girl friends would eventually become more passionate and unrestrained, possibly wild and endlessly lustful. Those kind of things were happening often in Jiraiya's novels, so Kakashi was secretly hoping it might come to life. He didn't expect their kissing, and they did it! After that, the sky's the limit! Or maybe this wedding put an end to their meetings.
Kakashi attempted to leave more than once way before the cake and fireworks. He wasn't allowed to go; Tsunade also couldn't be found and he had to be a politician for two painfully long hours. There wasn't enough liquor to ease that torturing, and Kakashi was more than overjoyed when he couldn't spot a single important person in the main hall. That was also a sign the great celebration came to an official end and he could go home and forget about all the nonsense he had said out loud.
He was about to leave Uchiha district when a strange group of people caught his eye. It was a pile, actually, as they were lying on each other, unaware of their surroundings, snoring soundly.
''Great, more young people and too much alcohol!'' Kakashi thought while walking towards them.
Not only none of them was young, well, not too young, but one of them was Hokage. And her best friend. And one young Uchiha. And Ino's father. Kakashi assumed the young Uchiha was the first to end up like this, sleeping on the ground, because Ino's father was lying on top of him, while Jiraiya was lying next to them, holding Inoichi's ponytail. Kakashi didn't care about any of them, but if somebody had seen Tsunade sleeping like she's sleeping right now, he will get in big trouble.
He was supposed to check on her every once in a while to prevent her to gamble with foreign guests, but he didn't. Dealing with a grumpy woman was much easier when she wasn't drunk, so Kakashi's warnings would have been in vain anyway.
Since Kakashi was one of the last who left the wedding party, somebody must have seen Tsunade on top of all three men! Until this moment, Kakashi didn't think something like that was even possible, but somehow Tsunade ended up sitting on Jiraiya while leaned on Inoichi, with her hair all over the young Uchiha.
He was looking forward to arriving home and having a dream of what could have happened today, only he couldn't leave before finding out what caused this in order to explain to Tsunade once she woke up.
He also had a hunch the only Sannin missing had something to do with his friends, Ino's father and her date ending this way. Shisui had a snake marks on his neck, while Inoichi was stirring in his sleep what reminded Kakashi of traumatic illusions caused by Itachi's sharingan. Further more, Jiraiya was an experienced drinker and, knowing his personality, Kakashi concluded a woman must have put him to sleep. The only woman as strong as him and short-tempered when it would come to his rude and explicit flirting, which probably took place after Orochimaru had left, was Tsunade who had nothing better to do, so she drank until she fell asleep.
It was a relief Naruto wasn't a part of this group. If he had been, it would have been Kakashi's fault. He didn't have to point out Naruto was strong, handsome and single, not in front of Sasuke, whose fiancée was Naruto's love, or in front of Itachi, whose wife had a crush on Naruto, and definitely not in front of Orochimaru, who once wished to become Hokage and hated openly everyone who were closer to that title than him.
Kakashi has seen Tsunade and Jiraiya in worse state than this, but he was feeling obligated to check up on both Shisui and Inoichi. If Hokage's presumptions were correct, neither of them would be awake tomorrow or the day after, being attacked by two strong and annoyed shinobi.
Itachi had an excuse to lose his cool; weddings were the most stressful event for a man, just like the wedding preparations were for a woman. Kakashi wasn't trying to defend the groom, but putting a guest under a genjutsu wasn't the worst thing ever.
Kakashi needed a medical ninja, but he didn't want to interrupt anyone; Shisui earned snake bites because doing what he wasn't supposed to and that was bother Ino. Sasuke and Kabuto probably wouldn't react the same like their teacher, but looking for Sakura and Shizune in the middle of the night didn't seem like a good plan, even for a Hokage.
Maybe he should investigate first; making false accusations wasn't right. If only he could find somebody who knew more than him!
The one who certainly knew something was Itachi. And he could use Sakura's help as well, since she was a medic and probably around here somewhere, cleaning or yelling at those who were in charge of cleaning.
The biggest room which needed a tidy-up was the main hall. And the light was still on, Kakashi could see it all the way down the street while he was approaching.
During the day, the front door was removed to make it easier for people to go in and out, but now it was closed, probably to put away tables, chairs, decorations and the rest to make it look as if nothing happened.
Kakashi was only a few steps away from the doorknob, when the lights went off. He naturally stopped walking, hoping to hear a voice of that someone who had turned off the lights.
''Come on, let's do it!''
''Now? And here?''
''We are going to do it anyway, what's the difference?''
''We can do it anywhere else.''
''But look how pretty here is!''
Complete silence outside made it easier to hear two voices coming from the inside. And Kakashi knew those voices very well. A cheerful one, wishing to do something in the dark in the dancing hall, in the middle of the night, in the most important building of Uchiha clan, belonged to his only former female student, Haruno Sakura. The other one naturally belonged to her fiancé, also his former student, Uchiha Sasuke who wasn't thrilled to do whatever she thought of.
Kakashi was recalling clearly how happy Sakura was yesterday, to see Sasuke after two weeks apart due to delivery mission he had assigned to Itachi. That dinner probably didn't give them enough time for catching up on everything, so now, when they were finally alone, interrupting would be impolite. Then again, this was Sakura; she was probably having chills while only thinking about being in Uchiha district five minutes longer than necessary.
Nevertheless, before opening the door, Kakashi decided to make sure he was right about his students being decent. Like every other eavesdropper, he placed his ear on the door and waited for a sound or two.
''We need to practice!'' Sakura wailed. ''It must be perfect that night, don't you think?''
''It would be much easier if we turn on the lights,'' Sasuke said. ''I would see what I'm doing!''
''It's not what you see, but what you feel! Come on!''
''How will I know I'm doing it right?''
''I'll show you where you should put your hands and once you get it right, you'll be asking me for more!''
Sakura wanted to put Sasuke's hands somewhere? In the dark, while they were all alone?
''Don't tell me you are tired!'' Sakura chuckled.
Expectedly, Sasuke denied it.
''I can go all night.''
All night doing what?
''I am not tired and I am up since dawn because of the newly weds,'' Sakura said.
''Are they the reason for this?'' Sasuke asked.
''Well, they had a rough night that began this way.''
Newly weds had a rough night? They weren't supposed to see each other!
Unbelievable, just like Sasuke's next question.
''Since when do you like it rough?''
Sakura's answer was a teasing laughter and Kakashi swallowed hard, not prepared to hear that much!
''The night is young and so are we!'' Sakura exclaimed and Kakashi took it as an order to let them enjoy that night. By themselves. In the dark.
It was pretty late actually, but Kakashi couldn't compare himself to his young and in the mood former students. The problem with four snoring people remained unsolved because no sane person would enter the main hall after hearing all of this.
Kakashi took a deep breath, walking away fast. He needed people who were able to think, who were not all alone with their partners and who knew any piece of information about grown ups on the street.
A strong light in one of the houses cheered him up; there must have been somebody who might help him out!
He climbed the stairs to get to the first floor, hoping to hear somebody, again. The best way was to start listening in near the first door.
''Finally! An empty room with enough light!''
Clear voice Kakashi could hear while standing leaned on the door belonged to his consultant. Shikamaru was the one in the room and probably not alone.
''Fine,'' Temari's voice sounded tired.
Them too? What was wrong with the dark? Although Sasuke disliked it. Kakashi never thought Temari was shy and needed turned off lights to relax.
''I've been waiting long enough! We are doing it right now!'' Shikamaru ordered.
''I don't see a table anywhere,'' Temari said.
A table? And Shikamaru was calling him perverted. If they were about to do it on the table, Kakashi understood why they needed lights on.
''How about floor?''
Kakashi gasped in surprise. On the floor? Maybe long-term relationships weren't so boring with the right woman. That would mean Temari was the right one. Then again, Sakura was ready to give in to the moment at the dancing hall, where guests were dancing not so long ago. What a strange fetish. And she mocked him for reading pornographic novels! He was actually a total virgin compared to them who were performing for real everything Jiraiya was writing about.
''Fine, any way you like.''
''Nice and slow.''
''Slow?'' Temari asked. ''But we can do it more than once if we hurry!''
More than once? Shikamaru was about to turn down her idea of doing it more than once?
''I don't want to hurry,'' he explained. ''I want to experience the most of it with you! Like you don't know how long I've been waiting for this!''
Then again, quality over quantity was also important, especially to Shikamaru, who seemed lazy. And now he wasn't!
''I am in extremely good mood, so we will do exactly what you like!'' Temari chuckled.
That was more than enough. Kakashi wasn't about to ruin that long-waited moment for the two of them. Maybe they wanted a change since they were living together or maybe-
Kakashi shrugged off those thoughts. He wasn't here to listen to couples' foreplay, but to locate Itachi or a medic. Luckily for him, deep voice of a clans' representative was clear, even while standing away from the door where his voice was coming from.
''I showed it to you yesterday and you weren't like this.''
''I was too excited to think clearly!'' Hinata said apologetically. ''Now I have a feeling it's too big.''
So far, Kakashi found out Itachi and Hinata had spent the night together and it was pretty rough. Hinata couldn't think clearly, Itachi showed her something yesterday and it was too big. Needless to say, Kakashi placed his ear on the door again.
''Maybe if you try from a different angle?'' Itachi suggested.
''From the back? No way!''
Kakashi wished he didn't hear that. It was more than enough to imagine Hinata was thinking about doing something that could be done from the front and from behind. Disgusting.
''Maybe I should've turned on the lights.''
Idiot. Of course he should've turned on the lights! His wife was one of the most beautiful kunoichi Kakashi has ever seen, not only in Konoha. Itachi was one lucky guy.
''It wouldn't have made any difference.''
Hinata was right. The size would have remained the same despite the illumination. Or Sasuke thought differently, insisting on lights? And Shikamaru needed light. So many disturbing thoughts in so little time.
''I'm sorry,'' Itachi said.
''You don't have to apologize, it's not your fault I wasn't ready for it!''
That was actually sweet. Hinata's husband was her first and only one and she was concerned she would fail him. Itachi was so lucky!
''I really thought you would like it.''
''No, you got it wrong!'' Hinata assured him. ''I do like it, but it's enormous, I don't think I will be able to adjust.''
Apparently Hinata was also lucky. Enormous? That word sounded as if she has never expected to see anything alike in her entire life. And Itachi, well it was surprising. Then again, he wasn't the type who would brag about certain part of his anatomy.
''Relax, I think it won't seem that way after a couple of days.''
Before hearing something more disturbing, Kakashi decided to leave without interrupting them. He should go before Hinata would decide to see more clearly with the lights on this time.
On his way downstairs, Kakashi saw an unexpected blond ninja.
''Kakashi-sensei! I mean, Hokage-sama, I mean-''
''Hey, Naruto,'' Kakashi interrupted. He never actually cared about honorifics. ''What brings you here?''
''I am looking for Sasuke. Or for Sakura-chan.''
''They are not here. They are-''
Kakashi paused, remembering where his other two former pupils were and more important, what they were doing. He could easily instruct Naruto to look for them some other time, but that way he would miss a great opportunity to find out what the other two couples were doing.
''I don't know where they are,'' Kakashi shrugged. ''Maybe you should ask Shikamaru, he is upstairs, first room on the left.''
''Thank you for your help!'' Naruto said cheerfully and rushed upstairs.
Kakashi also knew there was a bathroom where he could hide and hear the commotion Naruto would imminently cause after interrupting busy couples.
Just like Kakashi anticipated, Naruto intruded without knocking first.
''Naruto!'' Temari greeted.
''Out!'' Shikamaru ordered.
''Wait a minute, I didn't mean to bother much, I am-''
''Are you deaf? Get out!''
''Well,'' Temari chuckled, ''I had no idea you want it so badly!''
''If you can just tell me where Sasuke is!''
''I don't know! And I don't care!'' Shikamaru was trying to get rid of Naruto.
''Try checking with Itachi-san, he is around here somewhere,'' Temari suggested.
''Right!'' Naruto said happily.
''Knock on their door first!'' Shikamaru added.
''Their?'' Naruto asked.
''Well he is definitely not alone at this hour, is he?''
''Right, sorry! Keep going, Shikamaru!''
''Will you leave already?''
Kakashi could hear Temari's laughter after Naruto had closed the door. Maybe she went through much more with the girls so she was feeling comfortable enough with some random guy interrupting whatever Shikamaru wanted to do right now, in somebody else's house.
Naruto didn't get the chance to knock this time; he was loud enough and the door opened before he got closer.
''Naruto-kun!''
''Hinata! What are you wearing?''
''It was getting hot so I had to change into something more comfortable.''
''Are you looking for Sasuke?'' Itachi asked.
''Yes! Do you know where he is?''
''He and Sakura-chan are dancing. She couldn't wait to try on the dress Ino-chan bought for her.''
Dancing? They were dancing? What kind of vocabulary people used while dancing? Very allusive, in Kakashi's opinion. And Ino bought a dress for Sakura? The one which resembled to the red one she was wearing today?
''Temari-san! I thought you left!''
One of the flaws of spying was inability to see what was going on, so Kakashi concluded Temari joined Hinata, Itachi and Naruto in the hallway.
''I really wanted to, but certain someone refused.''
''You enjoyed it!'' Shikamaru said. ''I saw it, you can't fool me!''
Both Hinata and Temari chuckled.
''Why are you looking for Sasuke?'' Shikamaru asked.
''I can't tell you, Sakura-chan forbade me.''
''Is this related to your question about Sasuke being my best man?'' Itachi asked.
''It is.''
''Then I know why you are looking for my brother. Will you decline?''
''Itachi!'' Hinata scolded her husband. ''Don't you think Sasuke-kun should know first?''
''I am Naruto's substitute, in case he declines,'' Itachi explained.
''I won't decline,'' Naruto said.
''Then I will go get Sasuke and Sakura!'' Temari said.
What were they talking about? Sasuke offered something to Naruto and to Itachi at the same time, wondering who among them would decline? Kakashi didn't understand much neither he could ask, stuck in the bathroom.
''You never intended to turn him down, did you, Naruto-kun? You only wanted to be sure about the reason Sasuke-kun picked you, and not somebody else.''
''Well, yeah. And it is a great honour, now when the two of you told me about your reasons.''
''We are glad we could help,'' Itachi said.
''Naruto!'' cheerful female was running up the stairs. ''I thought you left!''
''I was looking for you, then I ran into other people and-''
''Nevermind,'' Sasuke interrupted. ''What did you decide?''
''Well, you two are the people I love the most and there is no reason to turn you down. And I will have to keep an eye on the groom!''
The groom? Naruto would be someone's best man? Sasuke's best man! Sasuke was getting married! To Sakura! That was why she was excited the entire day! How come Hokage didn't know about it?
The three couples were chatting friendly about the upcoming wedding, as Kakashi could conclude, it would take place only six weeks from now, Ino would be the maid of honour and Naruto the best man.
''What I need to do?'' Naruto asked enthusiastically.
''Nothing, just prevent too much freaking out from the groom's side,'' Sasuke said.
''Oh. So no spending time with Sakura-chan?''
''No, she has the maid of honour,'' Temari said. ''For the last ten years at least!''
''I don't have to date Ino, right?''
''No!'' Sakura said. ''It's a coincidence that for today's wedding the best man and the maid of honour are also committed. It's not a new tradition, don't worry.''
''Where is Ino? I haven't seen her at all.''
''If we tell you, you might end up like Shisui,'' Shikamaru warned him.
''Another gloomy Uchiha? No, thanks. Don't tell me she is mad because of yesterday. I mean, she is pretty and all but-''
''It's not you!'' Hinata said.
''Well, nothing you can do about. You are just young,'' Temari added.
''We are the same age.''
''Exactly!'' Temari laughed.
''Anyway, I am glad you will be at home for the next six weeks at least,'' Sasuke said, probably to change the subject.
''I was really worked up about our first match after so long, but Sakura-chan forbade it!''
''I don't want my groom to be covered in bruises,'' Sakura said. ''Or his best man!''
Aha! So Shikamaru knew what happened to Shisui! And Itachi was freaking out! Kakashi had to cover his mouth to stop giggling too much and give away his eavesdropping activity, because more interesting stuff would soon emerge on the surface!
''The only mystery is Hokage,'' Sakura said. ''Should we ask our former sensei to marry us?''
''If he will say embarrassing stuff, and with Ino and Naruto next to us, I don't think it will be the best ceremony in the world.''
Wait a second.
Naruto, hopelessly in love with Sakura, would be Sasuke's best man and Ino, with her previous crush or whatever on Sasuke, would be the maid of honour? Sakura and Sasuke definitely had enough problems already and there was no more awkward wedding than theirs.
''But he is our former sensei! And Hokage!'' Sakura persisted. ''And we can ask Temari to write the speech for him!''
''It was a nice speech!'' Hinata objected. ''Kakashi-sama made a wonderful metaphor about a marital life being the most challenging mission that awaits us all and every couple is unique and have to give its best to be happy!''
Kakashi always liked Hinata. Of course she liked his speech. She was the only one appreciating his effort. Unlike his ungrateful former students. Well, maybe because Hinata could see a bigger picture was making her the most suitable for the great role she would take over tomorrow. Or the day after, since she probably needed a day to adjust.
''So you wanted to hear about conjugal duties too?'' Sasuke teased.
''It would be interesting to hear, since he is not married,'' Temari said.
''Kakashi-sensei?'' Naruto asked. ''You can ask him right away, he is in the bathroom!''
Kakashi froze. Would they think of him as an eavesdropper?
''He is tipsy, so he is either throwing up or trying to sober up.''
''Or both,'' Temari laughed.
''Why are you all here anyway?'' Naruto asked what was bothering Kakashi too.
''Hinata asked us to stay for a special cake she had made,'' Temari said.
''I knew it! And you tried to eat it without me around!''
''We didn't!'' Sakura said. ''We have been waiting the entire night for Hanabi to bring the cake and everyone else left.''
''Hinata's little sister? She is running after Gaara the entire time! If he had seen her with a cake, she probably lured him to eat it with her! So unfair! I will go look for them!''
''He really likes to interrupt,'' Shikamaru sighed.
''Same like Sakura,'' Temari said.
''And Sasuke,'' Itachi added.
''Maybe their sensei didn't teach them manners,'' Hinata said.
Until this very moment, Kakashi was ready to walk away, but since everybody had a bad opinion about him already, he might as well get what he came here for and those were answers!
He stepped out of the bathroom and faced a strange group down the hallway.
''Too much sake?'' Temari ended his staring at fresh Uchiha and Uchiha-to-be.
He wasn't crazy about fashion, but the wedding dress Sakura was wearing seemed like it had been sewed especially for her. She was looking breathtaking. And glowing, same as Hinata, despite her hair, now tied with only one ribbon and wearing casual pink dress.
Kakashi learned by now Sasuke and Sakura were only dancing and Sasuke wanted lights not to ruin Sakura's wedding dress. Neither Temari and Shikamaru looked as ih they were naughty in a room next door. Although not tied, Temari's hair was neatly brushed and her clothes wasn't rumpled. Her boyfriend seemed nervous though, repeatedly squeezing a small object in his right hand.
To Kakashi's disappointment, it was a shogi piece. They were playing shogi. Of course they needed a table, but a floor was also flat to move pieces around. It was stupid to expect something different; Shikamaru loved the game more than anything, so maybe he desperately needed a place where Temari wouldn't think of getting naked and their house and bedroom in it was leading in that direction inevitably.
After everything he heard tonight by eavesdropping and thinking about all of them as perverted couples in heat, it turned out to be a bit of a letdown.
Or maybe Hinata and Itachi could save the day!
''What are you still doing here?'' Kakashi asked the bride and the groom. ''I thought you would be the first to arrive home.''
''We are waiting for the streets to empty. We don't want to reveal where our house is right away,'' Itachi said.
''And it's the biggest one in the village,'' Sakura added.
''Bigger than mine former mansion!'' Hinata said.
Now Kakashi understood completely. He didn't hear Hinata talking about what she's been doing with Itachi inside the house and how monumental was the thing she had discovered about him indoors, but about the house itself.
Kakashi sighed sadly. Apparently the only dirty mind in the room was his own.
''Only Sasuke knew,'' Itachi spoke about the real estate. ''At some point tomorrow, I will cancel the genjutsu and it will become official residence of clans' heirs.''
''I see,'' Kakashi finally said. ''People will know where to find you, to congratulate you and set up a meeting or two.''
''People will bug us unstoppably for the next week,'' Itachi said.
''And you were counting on sleeping in tomorrow?'' Kakashi asked pointedly.
Just like he expected, Sasuke burst out laughing, Sakura chuckled, Itachi stared at the floor, Shikamaru, as the laziest, rolled his eyes, seeing nothing wrong with more sleeping and Temari smiled at Hinata, who had a perfectly reasonable explanation.
''I think we deserve rest, now when all the fuss is over. I didn't have a goodnight sleep in weeks,'' Hinata said. ''And, Hokage-sama, if you thought Itachi wouldn't let me sleep, you are wrong. He knows there is nothing worse than a grumpy wife early in the morning!''
The girls giggled.
''And now imagine waking up a woman who isn't your wife! At dawn!'' Sakura chuckled.
''Or being awaken twice in one night to listen to what your girlfriend has been doing with her girl friends!'' Shikamaru sighed.
Temari coughed pointedly to remind everybody Kakashi was still around. The one who didn't have a clue what Shikamaru was implying to was Itachi.
''And what brings you here, Hokage-sama?'' older Uchiha asked, probably to shoo Kakashi away and ask in private everything he didn't understand.
''You see, there is a pile of people outside,'' Kakashi shrugged.
''A pile?'' Shikamaru repeated.
''Of people?'' Hinata asked worriedly.
''Yes, and one of them is Uchiha Shisui.''
''Our cousin?'' Sasuke asked.
''Ino's date?'' Temari asked. ''What happened to him?''
''Orochimaru-sama happened to him, didn't he?'' Kakashi asked, looking at Shikamaru.
''Yes,'' Shikamaru sighed.
''Why Ino-chan had a date in the first place?'' Hinata asked.
''She couldn't walk hand in hand with the old creep!'' Sasuke said with disgust.
Temari coughed again, only louder, and pointed her hand at Kakashi. Hinata realised she had revealed a secret, so she placed a palm over her mouth. Sasuke didn't really care, so he only rolled his eyes.
''I am not interested in how Ino spends her free time or with whom,'' Kakashi lied smoothly. ''I simply want to know why Shisui is injured and when he will recover.''
''Shisui will be fine,'' Itachi said. ''I saw the bite marks and the poison will wear off in a week or two.''
''It could have been much worse,'' Shikamaru added.
''You were present?'' Sakura asked.
''I alluded they were probably together and followed Shisui. I had to stay around during their fight, not because I was concerned about your cousin, but because I was afraid somebody might repeat what he had said about Ino and that would have ended bloodier,'' Shikamaru explained.
''There was blood?'' Hinata asked.
''Only Sannin's, and he was only trying to be gallant.''
''So Shisui deserved what he got?'' Kakashi asked.
Shikamaru sighed deeply, obviously annoyed.
''I will say this only once and if any of you retell it, I will know, because Orochimaru-sama will track me down and rip me in two.''
''Don't scare us like that,'' Sakura said.
''Yeah, I insult him all the time, what could have been that extreme?'' Sasuke asked.
''You asked for it so here it is. Shisui said that Orochimaru-sama chose the most promiscuous girl to get drunk and he didn't care, he only wanted Ino to give him first what Sannin would get after a few more bottles.''
That left everyone open-mouthed because it was insulting on so many levels. It was implying Orochimaru tried to take advantage of drunk Ino who would have agreed to do anything with anyone with more alcohol, but young Uchiha was too impatient and clearly said why he was looking for his date.
First one to speak was Sakura.
''Where is that guy? I will finish him, if Orochimaru-sama was too polite not to do so!''
''I wouldn't have said it better,'' Temari commended.
Even Hinata seemed to agree. Now Kakashi was interested; what was so special about Orochimaru so all of them took his side? Shisui was rude, that was indisputable, but they were too angry about this.
''I guess Shisui isn't invited to our wedding,'' Sasuke shrugged.
''My maid of honour is more important than him,'' Sakura said.
''And she is not easy,'' Temari said. ''She didn't go on a date in the last year neither she had a boyfriend.''
''And after all that waiting, the old creep was the chosen one?'' Sasuke sneered.
''He is not a creep!'' Hinata said.
''Stop calling him that way!'' Sakura ordered.
They definitely liked Orochimaru. What was his secret? Maybe Ino made up romantic stories about them to make him look better. That couldn't be it. Was there more stable relationship than Temari and Shikamaru's? Or Sasuke and Sakura's, best friends forever ready to get married? Or two heirs, full of understanding, reliable and kind? There must have been something more, invisible to nosy Hokage.
''At least they made up,'' Temari said.
''They had a fight?'' Hinata asked.
''She didn't tell me a thing again!'' Sakura frowned.
''Your eyes don't have to change so you could see the obvious,'' Temari said, being the only one who detected the same as Kakashi.
''Speaking about our vision, what's that around your neck, Temari-san?'' Itachi asked.
''Nothing of your interest,'' she responded, smiling quizzically.
None of them thought of Kakashi as the guilty one for any of it. If he hadn't put Ino in charge of Orochimaru's training two weeks ago, she would have never met Shisui, therefore she wouldn't have come to the wedding with him and Orochimaru wouldn't have been jealous of him. Apparently Uchiha brothers didn't know about that training neither did girls about Ino's friendly behaviour towards Shisui.
''I will take care of the poisoned shinobi,'' Shikamaru said, that way changing the subject.
''You can,'' Kakashi stopped him from leaving, ''right after you give me details about Inoichi-san.''
''Ino's father? What about him?'' Sakura asked.
''He is also unconscious,'' Kakashi replied.
''He is supposed to be,'' Itachi said. ''In the world of Tsukuyomi I control space and time.''
Everybody was fascinated with Itachi's ability, only Hinata wasn't thrilled about it.
''What did you do to Inoichi-san?'' she muttered, frowning.
''I didn't know what exactly happened, but Shikamaru-kun told me it was an emergency, so I concluded it wouldn't be wise to let Inochi-san to investigate about his daughter's departure, especially among the ones who knew the whole story,'' Itachi explained.
''So you actually didn't want Inoichi-san to find out and make a scene once Ino-chan comes back?'' Hinata asked, but much softer than before.
''You thought their affair was romantic so I concluded you don't want them to break up.''
That made Hinata smile.
''If they are happy together, they shouldn't. Especially not because of narrow-minded people.''
''Her father isn't narrow-minded, but it was smart to put him under genjutsu,'' Kakashi said. ''He would have been frustrated while unable to do something about it.''
''I will make sure he wakes up somewhere he won't be a part of a pile,'' Itachi promised.
''I counted only two people. Who else can't walk on their own?'' Temari asked.
''Jiraiya-sama.''
Shikamaru snorted shortly and Kakashi was one step closer to get all of the answers.
''What happened to him?'' Hokage asked.
''Tsunade-sama put him to sleep,'' Shikamaru shrugged. ''He made an inappropriate comment about Ino's panties.''
''You didn't tell me that part,'' Temari said.
''Well, you know Jiraiya-sama, his big mouth and perverted mind.''
''Actually, I don't. What did he say that made Tsunade-sama angry?''
Kakashi was suppressing laughter seeing Temari made Shikamaru embarrassed with a simple question. Itachi recognised Shikamaru's desperate expression that was looking for help of any kind. Being the only one who attended the same scene like Shikamaru, Itachi tried to change the subject.
''By the way, who took care of that piece of clothes?'' Itachi asked simply and sank even deeper than Shikamaru.
''You are interested in Ino-chan's underwear?''
''I am not!''
Itachi's immediate response didn't sound convincing to his lovely wife.
''Of course not!'' Shikamaru added. ''He only wondered if anyone spotted them and that way found the proof of Ino's torrid chat in the kitchen.''
''The most important person, Ino's father, won't hear anything,'' Sasuke said. ''And the last one who had Ino's underwear on his mind is lying outside unconscious, I think that is more than enough for people to leave it a rest.''
''Will you try to wake Jiraiya-sama?'' Kakashi asked and Sasuke nodded.
''And Tsunade-sama?'' Sakura asked.
''I will simply carry her home,'' Kakashi said. ''That only leaves one more question and that is about Ino's return.''
''She will come back for sure,'' Hinata said. ''She has a wedding to take care of.''
''When should we expect her?'' Hokage asked.
''After an eternity!'' Temari rolled her eyes.
''And then a bit more,'' Sakura added, and laughed along with Hinata.
''Ino is so smart. Wherever she is, I am sure she is enjoying peace and quiet, unlike me,'' Shikamaru sighed sadly.
''Sure, peace,'' Sasuke snorted.
''And quiet!'' Temari laughed.
It seemed to Kakashi as if Ino was actually the one in absolute control, like every other woman, despite Orochimaru's domineering personality. After today's events, Kakashi couldn't look at Ino the same way any more, knowing she had the power to do whatever she liked, including playing, teasing, begging and, overall, torturing Orochimaru, who probably wasn't aware what he had got into.
''It's getting late, we should probably go,'' Shikamaru suggested and Itachi and Sasuke followed him downstairs.
Kakashi could have easily forgotten they had a work to do; Temari, Hinata and Sakura easy-going and in a talkative mood were more than a good company, so he stopped walking half way downstairs, to hear what girls had to say, now while thinking they were alone.
''Isn't it a bad luck for your future husband to see you wearing the wedding dress?'' Temari asked.
''Nothing is in our way to get married! Ino was the one who bought it, Naruto accepted to be the best man and Sasuke saw me this morning with his brother who was also missing a shirt!''
''And he looks so good shirtless!'' Hinata chuckled.
''I saw them both and Sasuke is definitely better!''
Maybe Kakashi would also look good shirtless if he didn't spend so much time on paperwork. Or on drinking in between spending time in the office.
''It's not how they look, but what they do,'' Temari said.
Of course she would say that. She was an experienced woman and knew how to appreciate technique over a brute strength. And her boyfriend was working with Kakashi, thinking of the best tactics, not the strongest.
Only Hinata and Sakura were giggling even more after Temari's comment.
''No way!'' Temari screamed and all the girls were now laughing like crazy.
''I didn't plan it, I swear! I only wanted to try on the wedding dress, Sasuke was there with me and I was half-naked already and, you know.''
''And you, Hinata? You missed it? From this morning?''
This morning? The groom and the bride weren't supposed to see each other! And when did Sakura find the time to change? And took Sasuke with her! What was going on with younger generation?
''It's been a long day,'' Hinata said quietly, as if she was really embarrassed.
Kakashi felt bad. Not for listening in on them, but because he was a hypocrite. It was natural; they were young and in love and the day was really long, for him also; he couldn't even imagine how time was slowly passing by for the ones who had to be decent and polite towards everyone and in every single second. No wonder they stop being uptight as soon as they got several moments to themselves.
''If Ino can do it the kitchen, then I can do it in the dressing room!''
''What's next? Getting naked at the hospital?''
''Who knows!'' Sakura chuckled.
''Do you think it's wrong, Temari-san?''
''Of course not; it's not about the place, but about you; if you feel like it, just pick the right moment and it can't be wrong.''
''When I complained about a complete absence of spontaneity, Ino told me the same! And I was missing it desperately!''
''Ino knows that, maybe better than anyone. She is probably putting it into practice as we speak, wherever she is!''
The whole point of eavesdropping was to discover something to gloat about, to blackmail or to mock. All Kakashi could do with these information was being jealous of entire IOS team. Ignoring the fact their women were all young, beautiful, smart and open-minded, they obviously lacked restraints when it would come to their men; whether it was love or lust, they truly enjoyed their time together, much more than other couples.
''Speaking of timing, when did you get it enough to disappear?'' Temari asked.
''During the rocket explosions,'' Sakura admitted.
''A bit before that,'' Hinata said.
So Itachi and Sasuke had created their own fireworks.
No wonder they weren't showing they were having perverted thoughts! All they fantasized about came true, tonight! They weren't upset about Naruto interrupting before, they were done! That was the reason for being relaxed and laid back while talking. And Sakura and Hinata were the initiators, using a lame excuse as changing clothes to undress themselves! It was a good excuse actually. Any excuse would do good; men weren't picky.
''Did you tell Sasuke about Ino?''
''I did. It wasn't my brightest moment.''
Kissing! Sakura came clean with Sasuke! Finally something worth waiting. Not her brightest moment? Was Sasuke jealous and possessive and was Sakura detailed like Temari was, so maybe he wanted to hear more and followed Sakura to catch her off guard, while she was interested in her dress only?
Once again Kakashi had to control his laughter, and it was good he had, because he wouldn't have heard Hinata's question otherwise.
''And you, Temari-san?''
This was strange. Shikamaru said Temari had confessed everything. Was there more?
''Sure, it went well.''
Kakashi guessed it wasn't something spectacular. Or Shikamaru decided not to tell him about Temari's kissing. With whom Temari kissed really? With Hinata it was something different! Was it Ino? Or Temari ignored Hinata's shyness and tried kissing for herself, instead of talking about Sakura and Ino? Why was Kakashi feeling hot all of a sudden?
''You didn't?'' Sakura asked.
''I'm not sure how to start that topic,'' Hinata answered whispering.
''It's not a big deal, I mean, there are million other things worse than girls' kissing!'' Sakura assured her future sister-in-law.
Kakashi, at the moment, hated Orochimaru probably as much as the Sannin hated him. Only difference was Kakashi had a reason. If Ino had been here, with Sakura in such a great mood, he could have easily talked them into kissing, explaining it with too much alcohol in the morning. Or maybe two girls were more than enough, being totally unrestrained tonight. Maybe they also had a few drinks. Nevertheless, he couldn't miss that chance so he went back to meet them once again.
They quit giggling, seeing him approaching.
''I just remembered,'' Kakashi scratched his head, ''Tsunade-sama might mistake me for Jiraiya-sama, because we both have grey hair, and I wouldn't like to take one of her deadly punches just because I was trying to put her to bed.''
''I know what you mean. I'll go take care of it!''
''No, Sakura, you can't go anywhere in that dress! I am going!''
Temari rushed downstairs, leaving Hinata and Sakura all alone with Hokage. They were silent, but relaxed, both glad the day was over. His plan was going smoothly so far.
''You seem very close, like future family should seem,'' Kakashi commended.
They both smiled shyly.
''I wonder, how strong is your bond?''
''Quite strong,'' Sakura said and Hinata nodded to agree.
''Strong like you will be there for each other no matter what, share confidential secrets or even kiss?''
''Kiss?'' Hinata stammered.
That came out of nowhere. He should take it slower.
''I always thought physical closeness was the best way to prove your friendship. When you are not ashamed of any kind of contact, friendship has no boundaries.''
They had to give him that because they were practically hugging in the middle of the hallway. Neither of them tried to deny it, so he could continue.
''And don't girls like kissing for no particular reason?''
''Kind of,'' Sakura shrugged.
Kakashi grinned, completely satisfied with the answer.
''Well?'' he rushed them.
''Well what?'' Sakura asked warily.
''Why don't you demonstrate your friendly love?''
''In front of you?''
Or they could simply describe it to him how it went the last time. Sakura offered it now though, and he was about to accept it!
''I don't see why not,'' he simply said.
Liquor was Kakashi's alibi if they bring up this ever again, although they didn't seem surprised by his request.
''On the lips?'' Hinata smiled.
''And with the tongue?'' Sakura added.
That was the most unexpected thing to hear, but it also sounded very familiar. Did he experience this once before tonight? If not, then he had a strange feeling of déjà vu. He had to dismiss any suspicion before this once in a lifetime opportunity so he came up with the simplest idea.
''Can you pinch me before doing it, so I can be sure I am not dreaming?'' he asked hopefully.
''Sure!'' Sakura chuckled, stepping closer to him and raising her palm to his cheek.
It must have been one hell of a pinch because Kakashi had the strongest headache ever. Out of precaution, he didn't open his eye right away, listening to distant voices.
''You didn't have to hit him, Temari-san!''
''I wouldn't have had to if you had acted decent!''
''But we were only about to kiss!''
''Yes, but you also repeated the exact words you had said while we were in his office!''
In his office? These words chimed in Kakashi's head which hurt pretty badly.
''We are sorry, Temari-san.''
''Here is the syringe.''
''What took you so long, Sakura?''
''It was hard to run all the way to the hospital in a wedding dress! Ino is the one who had an extra dose.''
Kakashi could feel gentle fingers checking his pulse on his neck.
''Isn't there another way?'' Hinata asked quietly.
''We can't be sure because Ino is not here to read his mind,'' Sakura explained.
''Don't forget our deal! He mustn't find out the last time happened for real, no matter what!''
Impulsively, Kakashi opened his eye. He wasn't sure if he was glad to find out the reality was happening right now, meaning three kunoichi were about to drug him so he could forget all about tonight and the last time! He couldn't think clearly because every single detail from his so-called dream was coming to his mind. Every single second of it really happened and-
''Good night, Hokage-sama!'' Hinata and Sakura chuckled in unison and everything got dark again.