A/N: This time we make it short: Thanks for the comments as always and enjoy Chapter 34… we hope, some of you will stop hating Lewis at some point :-) But we'll see about that…
That's a chapter mostly without Jackson and Mark (sorry), but we thought it's important to know what's going on in the other's lives either… I hope, you feel the same way :-) April is about 3 months pregnant now! (Little time jump and such… ^_^)
April Kepner POV:
April had had a rough couple of weeks behind of her, but at least the move to Meredith's and Derek's house was as good as done. She didn't have all her stuff at Meredith's, because she still held on to what she had said to Jackson. She wanted to keep the apartment in case she needed a place to be alone. A place that was hers. Besides, she didn't plan on staying with Meredith and Derek forever. She was very thankful for their help, but she didn't want to take advantage of them.
She was only a couple of months pregnant, and it already was a living hell. She never pictured her life turning out like that. Pregnant without a boyfriend from some kind of affair.
She didn't know if she ever had been more for Alex than that. Yes, he had told her he loved her, but it made no difference, because he was with Lewis and not with her. The thought of them together still hurt, even though April didn't want it to. Even though April tried her best to not think about it or him, but whenever she felt the symptoms of the pregnancy she was reminded that it was his baby that was growing inside of her.
Maybe she was imagining things, but sometimes she thought she could already feel the baby move inside of her. It had started like a week ago, and she still wasn't sure if that was really happening, but when she was laying in her bed at night, caressing her slowly swelling stomach it was as if she had a connection to her son or daughter. As if he or she wanted to show that he or she was already alive.
Not, that she hadn't known that before. She had had her first ultrasound a month ago and the second a week ago.
Instinctively, April caressed her stomach again, taking out the ultrasound picture from her pants pocket. The heart of her baby was already beating and it was slowly growing. In not even six months she would be a mother. A single mother.
April was just about to enter the orthopaedic section, because Hunt had ordered her to work with Doctor Torres for the day, when she felt a sharp pain in her stomach and had to stop.
She felt nauseous for a moment, leaning against the nearest wall and taking a few deep breathes. The morning sickness had gotten a lot better in the past couple of days, but right now it felt like it was back full force.
"Doctor Kepner, here you are..." Callie Torres called her and April turned her head, looking at her coming closer.
"I'm... I'm sorry..." April said, walking towards the older woman, holding her stomach. "But I think I'm going to be sick..."
Before Callie could even react, April started running towards the bathroom and threw up in the toilet, feeling pretty exhausted afterwards.
She leaned against the toilet cabin, trying to calm down, but right after the sickness had passed the pain in her stomach came back, turning into bad cramps. It felt like something was totally wrong, and she felt like she couldn't breath.
Tears were welling in her eyes and she crawled out of the toilet cabin, trying to get to the sink and getting up with all effort she could summon up in this moment. She turned on the water and took a few sips, trying to get to the door, but starting to sway slightly.
"Shit..." she cursed, pressing one had at the tile wall next to her and slowly moving further to the door.
When she opened it, Dr. Torres was already standing in front of her, looking at her with concern in her eyes. "Are you okay? I was just about to look for you..."
April nodded slightly, not wanting to admit how bad she really felt. If she didn't admit to it, it wouldn't be that bad, right? She just had to push the bad feeling down.
"I'm... I'm okay... just feeling really sick..." She felt the cold sweat on her forehead, leaning against the wall again, because she barely could stand on her feet.
"You sure? Because you don't look okay..." Callie replied, gently touching April's arm. "I think it would be for the best, if you call in sick for today... I'll talk to Doctor Hunt and tell him that you didn't feel good, okay?"
"But..." April started, but was cut off by Callie immediately.
"No buts... I know what you're going through... I was pregnant myself, remember?" she said with a sympathetic smile. "Go home and lay down... I'm sure you're gonna be okay..."
April nodded slowly. "Thank you, Doctor Torres... thank you so much..."
"No problem... just feel better soon..." Callie said, turning around and making her way to one of the patient rooms.
It took April a few moments until she found the strength to take the few steps towards the resident's locker room, but inside of it she needed to sit down on the bench.
It took a lot of her to fight back the tears because the pain in her stomach was almost unbearable, and she was just so afraid to lose her baby. A baby she already grew to love.
"April?" a familiar voice sounded from the doorway. A voice that immediately sent shivers down April's spine.
"Are you alright?"
April took her hands away from her stomach and looked up at Alex. "Sure... why wouldn't I?"
Alex raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"
Rolling her eyes, April got up and made her way to her locker, even though every step was exhausting as hell. "Yeah, I'm sure... just a little morning sickness... that happens when you're pregnant..." she bit back, feeling another cramp and letting out a painful yelp, feeling like she would pass out every moment.
Most likely she would have passed out if it wasn't for the two strong arms catching her and gently holding her to his strong chest.
She tried to take a few deep breathes, clinging to Alex without really wanting it, but if she let go of him, she knew she wouldn't be able to stand on her own feet, so she just leaned against him.
"I'm... I'm sorry..." she whispered, letting Alex guide her to the bench and sitting down on it with him.
"No... no... there's nothing you need to feel sorry for..." Alex replied immediately and only a few seconds later April felt one of his hands on her cheek, caressing it gently.
She looked up at him, in his eyes, almost drowning in them and moving closer towards him. God, how much she missed him. How much she wanted to kiss him right then. How much she wished they could just start over and be a family in a couple of months.
"Alex... I..." she started, but she had to stop eventually, because the pain hit her stomach once again, making her cringe.
"Okay... enough... I'm gonna bring you to the gynaecologist right now," Alex decided, getting up, but April grabbed his hand, shaking her head.
"No... really... I know it's gonna be better soon... and I think it's pretty normal in the first months of a pregnancy to have some cramps from time to time... don't worry..." she tried to convince him, but he didn't really look convinced. "Besides... it's none of your business... not anymore..." She turned away from him, but still not letting go of his hand.
"Just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean I don't care for you anymore, April..." Alex immediately replied, sitting down again. "And for this baby... I told you no matter what you do, I will support you and the baby..."
"Yeah..." April said ironically. "With money... but that's not what I want... I don't need your fucking money... I need you. We need you..."
She looked down at their hands, bringing Alex hand to her stomach. She shoved down her shirt and placing it on the curve of her belly. "I know it's early, and you can't feel kicks or anything, but... you can feel the baby move sometimes..." Slowly she moved closer to Alex, placing her free hand on Alex' cheek.
"I love you so much, Alex... and I don't know how to do this without you..." she said, feeling the familiar sting in her eyes. She hated to get so emotional, but that was another part of the pregnancy. Her hormones were going crazy most of the time and even the smallest things made her cry.
This moment with Alex was special, though. Being here with him felt so good. Better than April dared to admit, and the pain in her stomach was slowly vanishing. More with every second. It most likely was like she said: a normal symptom of the pregnancy, and it hadn't lasted long anyways. No reason to worry.
Instead of the pain there was another thing happening only a couple of seconds later. She could really feel the baby move, and she looked up at Alex with tears in her eyes. "Did... did you feel that?" She smiled. "It happened again... I'm not imagining this, right?" She was sure her baby could feel it's dad and that the baby reacted to Alex gave her some sort of hope, even though she really had tried to close this chapter of her life, but now she was sure she would never been able to move on completely. Because Alex was the love of her life.
Alex Karev POV:
Alex could see the hope in April's eyes. It was clear and as strong as the first time the two had made love and it tore him apart.
He should have gone to get somebody who knew how to help her more than him, like Arizona, that would have been the smart thing to do, but Alex was never good at doing the smart thing.
Being this close and being so concerned for her and the baby's safety had sent her messages that he had never meant to send.
"Did... did you feel that?" She smiled. "It happened again... I'm not imagining this, right"
Alex had felt the smallest movement and for reasons he couldn't explain he almost felt a tear come to his eye. He fought it back, but him feeling that movement made it real. This kid was coming and Alex couldn't hide behind the notion of vague possibilities anymore.
Alex felt his stomach turn into knots "Why don't you see it, April?" he asked "why don't you see you're so much better off without me?"
She looked up at him, her face streaking with tears "How?" she asked "how am I better off? I sleep at Meredith's house because the thought of going through this alone terrifies me. I try to plan a future for me and our child and I see nothing but the face of our little boy or girl as they ask where their daddy is and I have to tell her or him that he thought we would be better off without him...do you know what he or she is going to take from that, Alex? He or she is only going to hear that they weren't good enough to make you stay"
Alex stood "That's not fair, April" he said "is that how you want me to come back? Have me feel so guilty that I try to be something I was never supposed to be?"
"You are so much better then you give yourself credit for" April told him "how can you not see that?"
"How are you able to?" Alex responded "You want to hear how a guy could walk away from a family he always wanted, but knew he was never designed for? I'll tell you"
"My father liked to call himself a musician" Alex said "he was a man with a decent voice and dreams that far exceeded his talents. He met a woman who became infatuated and gave him the adoration that he tried to get from drunken gigs at whatever local bar would take him. I was the first one born and got to take most of the blame for ruining his life, but the punishment? ...The punishment I got to watch him dole out on my mother. Have you ever watched a woman beaten so badly that she stopped breathing? I have"
"Stop" April said as her tears turned into sobs "stop it, Alex!"
"No" he told her "I need you to understand"
He walked back over and sat beside her "I hated my father...I hate my father" he corrected "I took up wrestling just so that one day I would be strong enough to give him some of the medicine he had given my mother all those years, and you know what, April? I did. I beat him so badly he spent a week in the hospital. Then because I did that we were taken away from our mother and by the time we got returned she was too far gone mentally to save and then I got to watch my brother take her same path. My father tried to be something he never was and my family paid the price for that, April. I love you and I love that kid too much to put you through that same kind of hell"
Grabbing his hand Alex could see it shake "You're not your father Alex" April said "you're not a monster"
"Look at my life, April" Alex told her "I destroy everything. Izzie, Ava, Meredith, Jackson... you. Everyone I have ever loved has had to pay a price for it and you may be willing to take a gamble that I won't end up the same kind of drunken failure my father was, but I won't. Not with you and not with our kid"
"So that's it?" April asked "you walk away and I get to be alone?"
"No" Alex said "do you know why we didn't have sex that first time in the on-call room?" Alex asked.
"Yeah" April said bitterly "you turned into an asshole"
"No...I mean yeah, but you were uncomfortable from the beginning" Alex said "because deep down you knew I wasn't the kind of man who deserved to share that experience with you"
"I didn't exactly choose a guy I was going to spend my life with" April told him.
"You chose a guy who's good all the way down to his bones" Alex said "who, while not perfect, would have given you the life you always wanted if the circumstances were different. That's the kind of guy you deserve, April. A guy who came from a picket fence and with siblings who are spending their days at your home in Connecticut, not having to visit your brother-in-law through a padded cell"
"I don't need the perfect life, Alex"
"But it's what you and that kid deserve" he wrapped a hand around her neck and pulled it down to give a kiss to the girl's forehead.
"You need to move on April, because I'm that same guy who you knew was wrong the first time"
Standing up he walked towards the exit before turning around "I need you to take care of yourself, April" and with that he left the room.
Alex wasn't even aware where he was going until he stood outside of Lewis' office. Knocking and waiting a moment he heard Lewis call him.
Going in Lewis smiled and stood as he saw Alex "Man, am I glad to-" he started to say as he walked around his desk, but before he could finish Alex had rushed over to him and grabbed his face to place a long and bruising kiss on his lips. He could feel Lewis try to adjust and putting his hands on Alex's waist he tried to hold him steady.
Alex needed this. He needed this more then anything else in the world right now. After spilling his history and breaking April's heart againhe needed to know he could make someone happy.
Once Alex broke away the two men took deep breaths.
"Not that I'm not immensely pleased by what just happened, because believe me I am I-"
"Do I make you happy?" Alex interrupted.
Lewis looked at the man confused "Of course you do" he said "what's wrong?"
Alex looked at the man and he knew his eyes would give him away.
"April" Lewis said softly.
"I'm sorry" Alex said.
"Don't be" Lewis told him and grabbing his hand he lead Alex back to his desk and sitting down he pulled the man on top of him "there is nothing wrong with still loving her, Alex and you don't need to hide it from me"
"I just...I just need her to understand" Alex said as he sat on Lewis' lap. He was facing Lewis with his legs straddling the man's waist.
"She will" Lewis told him "but she loves you too and it's going to take her some time to move on and that's going to be...difficult"
"I think she may have gotten the message now" Alex said "I just want her to find someone who is worthy of her"
"Don't talk down about yourself" Lewis chastised and holding a firm grip to Alex's chin he made the man look at him "just because you think you and April aren't right for one another doesn't mean you're a bad guy"
Alex smiled and leaned down to give him a kiss "I wish Jackson could see this side of you" Alex said "he couldn't hate you if he saw how awesome you are"
"That's gross, Alex" Lewis responded "we're brothers"
The remark had made Alex laugh loudly "You know what I mean you freak" he said as he wrapped his arms around Lewis' neck.
Lewis smiled up at him and in that moment Alex had a feeling everything was going to be okay. April was going to find her happiness and Alex may just have a chance to find his own.
Lewis Avery POV:
Lewis had known something was completely wrong with Alex the moment he walked into his office and of course it had to do with April. Like it always had either to do with her or Jackson whenever Alex was in a bad mood. And he could understand him perfectly fine.
In fact, he could relate to him more than he dared to admit. His break-up with Tyler had been years ago and he still wasn't over him completely, while Alex and April had just broken up a couple of weeks ago. Of course it still hurt him, and if April was the love of his life - which Lewis assumed she was - he would probably always love her in some kind of way. Like Lewis would always love Tyler, even though he would most likely never see him again. But Tyler still owed a part of his heart, no matter how hard he tried to forget him completely, but there were just some people in a person's life, they couldn't forget.
Feeling Alex' lips on his own once more, Lewis placed his hands on Alex' thighs and started rubbing them gently, moving his hands inside and always stopping at Alex' crotch before moving his hands back down again.
"Lewis..." Alex whispered into the kiss, clinging to him and starting to move his hips against Lewis'.
"Yes?" Lewis replied with a grin, letting go of Alex' lips and looking up at him with an innocent smile.
"Stop teasing me..." Alex complained and that was all Lewis needed to hear.
"Ever got fucked by someone in his office?" he grinned while lifting Alex up, wiping away everything that was on his desk and placing Alex on it with his back first.
Alex looked up at him with a dirty grin on his lips. "No... not really... but I've had my fair amount of sex I had in this hospital..."
"Is that so?" Lewis gave back, leaning over him and capturing his lips in another kiss.
"Like where? Where do you people usually go to have sex if you're horny during the day?"
"Oh... that you wanna know..." Alex teased, grabbing Lewis' butt cheeks and pulling him closer to his body. "Maybe I'll tell you if you're a nice boy..."
"Since when do you like nice?" Lewis asked, moving his hardening erection against Alex', feeling that he wanted him as bad as he wanted Alex.
"There are quite some things you don't know about me..." Alex whispered, leaning upwards and capturing Lewis' earlobe between his teeth, causing Lewis to take in a sharp breath.
"God, I love it how sensitive you are there... I just need to..." Demonstratively, Alex bit into his earlobe again, sending shivers down his spine. "I just need to pull the right buttons and you're putty in my hands..."
"Yeah? You think so?" Lewis grinned, pushing Alex back at the table and grabbing his wrists, holding them down above his head.
"I know it..." Alex said, looking very satisfied with himself.
"Well... I guess I need to teach you a lesson then..." Lewis gave back, leaning down and starting to suck at Alex' neck, finding a sensitive spot and licking at it, knowing he would leave a mark.
"God, how it turns me on when you're so bossy..." Alex moaned, starting to wriggle underneath him.
"Oh yeah?" Lewis sighed, moving against Alex once again, feeling pretty hot right now.
"Oh yeah... can't wait to have your big, beautiful cock up inside my ass and riding it..."
Alex' words turned Lewis even more on and he was just about to open Alex' belt, when the door burst open and a very distressed Michel stormed in without even knocking.
"Lewis? I need to talk to you, it's important..." he said, before turning around and noticing the two men in front of him.
"HOLY SHIT!" he burst out, tilting his head. "Can't you lock your door?"
Lewis rolled his eyes. "Can't you knock before you just get into an office? I could have done... god knows what..."
Michael raised an eyebrow. "You aredoing... god knows what..." A cocky grin appeared on his face. "Maybe I should come back later?"
Lewis watched Alex hurriedly getting up and sliding off his desk.
"No... no, it's okay, don't worry, Igo..." Alex said in a rush, already trying to get away like he wanted to escape.
"Don't worry... I won't tell anyone..." Michael promised. "And in fact, it's nothing I haven't seen... Nothing I'm not used to... living with Lewis has it's... let me call it... disadvantages..."
"Hey!" Lewis complained. "It's not my fault that you don't like dicks... you should really try some time..."
"I don't think so..." Michael replied, looking at Alex with an open smile. "Really, it's no big deal... you can stay..."
"I have to get to the pit anyways... I'm sure Jackson needs my help down there..." He turned to Lewis, smiling at him. "See you later?"
Lewis nodded, grabbing Alex' wrist and pulling him back to place a kiss on his lips. "Absolutely... we'll continue this... conversation... later... I'll bring some handcuffs..."
"Lewis!" Alex said in a warning tone, causing Lewis to lift his shoulders and try to look innocent.
"What? I'm just making plans..."
"Yeah... whatever... see you later..." And with those words, Alex went out the door, closing it behind him.
"Thank you very much, Mikey... for ruining my perfect morning fuck..." Lewis sighed, falling on his chair and watching Michael sitting down in front of his desk.
"And you want my pity now, or what? I don't think so..." Michael grinned. "But it looks like things are really good for you..."
A smile crossed Lewis face. "Yes... yes they are... Alex really makes me happy..."
"You sure you're not in love with him?" Michael asked, raising an eyebrow.
Lewis nodded immediately. "Completely sure... I just like to spend time with him... to fuck him and such... and I don't know... I just thought that maybe... maybe I should leave Jackson alone for a while... I think I made my point very clear and I need a break."
"No!" Michael blurted out. "No... you can't do this. Not now."
Surprised, Lewis looked at his best friend. "You okay?"
"No," Michael replied immediately. "No I'm not okay... your asshole brother seems to have a new ally."
"He has?" Lewis tilted his head. "Who? And what makes you think that?"
"When I came to his office there was this guy... I think he's a nurse here... Eli somewhat..." Michael waved his hand dismissively. "And he was very disrespectful, even though he should be polite with me. I'm kind of his boss, but he treated me like I'm the enemy..."
"Maybe because you arethe enemy?" Lewis said. "At least for Jackson you are... you have done nothing but causing him trouble since you're here... and so have I..."
"But isn't that what we wanted?" Michael asked. "Isn't that what youwanted? I thought I'm doing all of this for you... only for you, because you're my best friend."
He got up from his chair, rounding the table and placing his hands on Lewis' shoulders. "We can't give up now... we're very close to totally destroying him... his boyfriend already thinks he's unfaithful and doubts him and his life is starting to fall apart..." Michael leaned down so he was close to Lewis ear.
"Remember what he did to you, Lewis... Remember how he destroyed your life... he doesn't deserve anything better... he needs to learn his lesson..."
Lewis let out a sigh. Somehow, Michael was right, but on the other hand he was really starting to get tired of all of this. And Jackson was still his brother. What if he was going too far? He was starting to have serious doubts, but he couldn't let down Michael now either. So he just nodded.
"You're right..." He turned his head to smile at Michael.
"That's my boy..." Michael got up and sat down in front of his desk again. "So I'm gonna tell you what we're doing next..." he started and Lewis just listened, deep down in his heart hoping he would really do the right thing. And that he would feel better after he had his revenge.
Alex Karev POV:
Alex had rushed out of Lewis' office as fast as possible. He was sure his face was red as an apple and damn it, he didn't even know Holt that well so he couldn't really find the humour that Lewis did in it.
He just wanted to get to the pit and try to forget the last 10 minutes of his life.
When he walked around the corner he stood amazed at the amount of people that were there. Just off the bat he could count 3 broken limbs, what looked to be a head wound, and at least 2 people vomiting in waste baskets.
Looking around he spotted Jackson talking to a patient as he wrote something down in his chart. Walking over he waited a few feet away until the man was finished. Then fell in step with the man as he moved onto the next person.
"Why didn't you have me paged?" Alex asked as he put his stethoscope around his neck "it's insane down here"
"I figured you were...busy" Jackson said as they walked up to a woman, brunette with bright blue eyes "Hello-" Jackson started as he looked at the chart, but snatching it out of Jackson's hand Alex turned his attention to the woman.
"Hello Mrs. Grainger" Alex said "It says here you slipped and think you may have sprained your wrist" giving a warm smile to the woman he put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but when she eased away from him he looked confused.
"Y-Yeah" she told Alex "I put my hand out to break my fall and landed on a wrong angle"
"Sounds painful" Alex said trying to sound friendly, but the woman was trying to avoid his gaze and Alex was starting to get offended.
"Well, we're going to send you for a cat scan and then take it from there" and with one last smile he started to walk away and taking a look behind him he could see Jackson and the woman share a look then a quick laugh.
"Can I talk to you Jackson?" Alex said, his voice tense.
"Something wrong?"
"What the hell was that?" Alex asked "the woman looked like I burped in her face or something"
"It's nothing, Alex" Jackson said as he walked past him. Grabbing his arm he pulled Jackson back "what the hell is going on with you? I thought we got past all that other bullshit"
"I didn't page you because I caught April on the way out and after talking to her I figured I had a pretty good idea where you were at" Jackson said "and judging by the fact that your scrubs aren't doing a very good job of covering up little Alex I can see I was right".
"Shit" Alex said letting Jackson go and adjusting himself.
Stopping a nurse that was walking by looking at the two men suspiciously Alex stopped her "Can you cover us for about 5 minutes?" Alex asked her and before the woman could even say yes he was pulling Jackson around to an empty hallway.
"Alex, we have patients"
"Look, I know what April said must have-" Alex said
"Contrary to popular belief me and April's conversations don't always revolve around you" Jackson told him "I asked her how she was doing, we made plans to have dinner this week, but she did mention you two had a good talk before you had something urgent to do"
"It's not what you think?"
"I don't want to argue, Alex" Jackson said "we see where that gets both of us"
"I don't either Jackson, but I can see you already shutting me out"
He could see Jackson look away "I'm sorry alright, but I can see you already start to look at me the same way Lewis does and I just...I can't"
"What?" Alex was dumbfounded "No, I don't".
"Yes, you do" Jackson said "and I get that you're with him now and he's the priority, but I'm kinda losing a lot of people at once and it's not the easiest thing in the world to deal with"
Alex felt like shit for knowing that some of the pain he saw on Jackson's face was because of him "You and Mark are okay, aren't you?"
"We really need to get back, Alex" Jackson said, but Alex held the man in place.
"Come on, dude" Alex responded "you may not believe it, but I do care about what's going on in your life. Did you and Mark have an argument?"
Jackson remained quiet for a few moments, but when Jackson's shoulder sag Alex knew the man was too tired to argue "We've had a lot of arguments, but last night's was the worst"
"About that dinner?" Alex asked.
"About everything" Jackson said "Lewis, Holt-"
"Holt?" Alex asked "what in the hell does he have to do with anything?"
In an instant Jackson clamed up again "It's not important" he said "now unless you want Hunt to follow through on that suspension we really should get back"
Jackson was already walking towards the pit again when Alex turned around and headed towards Holt's office.
Reaching the Dr's door he knocked briefly before being told to come in. Holt's office wasn't much different from Lewis. Wide and spacious and Alex was just a little bit jealous.
"Karev?" Holt questioned "What are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you" Alex told him "it's important"
"Look, if you're worried about me saying something about what I saw, don't worry about it" Michael said "I'm trying to forget it just as much as you are"
"No" Alex said "awkwardly "it's not about that. It's about Jackson"
"Oh" Michael responded as he leaned back in his chair "What about Jackson?"
Alex tried to read the man, but other than looking amused he really couldn't tell what Michael was thinking.
"Is something...going on between you two?" Alex asked. It would make no sense for Jackson to start up an affair with this guy, but if he and Mark were having problems...
"Something?" Michael asked "like what?"
"Come on, dude" Alex said "you know what I'm talking about"
"Of course not" Michael said with a smile "I mean, what would people think?"
"Jackson is in a really bad place right now" Alex told him "so he may do things that he'll regret later"
"Fun is fun, Alex" Michael said "I figured you, if anybody, would know something about that"
Alex didn't like this guy. He was Lewis' best friend so he would bite his tongue, but the guy reminded him too much of the egomaniac doctors he had seen over the years.
"What I know is Jackson is a good guy and whatever mistakes he made, or is making, shouldn't ruin what he has" Alex said to Michael.
"Because we know how good Jackson is right? I mean a regular stand up guy" the sarcasm in his voice made Alex angry.
"I know what he did and you know what he did, but he's still a friend and I'm going to help him any way I can" Alex said.
"Message received" Michael told him "I just wouldn't turn my back on him for too long. It took Lewis a long time to get that knife out of his"
Alex looked away from Michael. He couldn't deny that his trust in Jackson had faltered ever since he heard about what he did with Tyler, but the two had been through too much together to not least try and help.
Alex started to walk out before he heard Michael say his name to grab his attention.
"Yeah?" Alex asked
"Let Lewis know I won't be at the apartment tonight I'll be staying with a ...friend so you two have a good night"
Turning around quickly Alex left his office and headed back to the pit. Why did he have a feeling that he somehow made things so much worse then they were before?
Lewis Avery POV:
Lewis was glad when the day was finally over and he as able to leave the hospital. Not that he had a lot to do anyways - just checking out some new patients - but he still couldn't get his talk with Michael out of his mind. Out of his system. It was almost as if Michael wanted revenge on Jackson more than he did and it confused him.
Yes, Michael was his best friend and he knew Michael would do everything for him. Michael would move heaven and hell if it helped him, but now it had been Michael who had convinced him to not give up his plan.
"So I'm gonna tell you what we're doing next..." Michael said, looking Lewis in the eye, and there was something about this look that sent a shiver down Lewis spine.
"Okay... spill it out..." Lewis gave back, leaning over his desk.
"You know, Mark is already suspicious, but so far I have always denied that I have any interest in Jackson. I mean any interest that would be more than just professional..." Michael started.
Lewis nodded, not saying anything, but he knew he didn't have to.
"Well... I'm planning some situations here and there... situations that would make anyone suspicious..." Michael went on.
Tilting his head, Lewis raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"
"Like letting him assist my surgeries... like some accidental touches here and there... like sliding into the same room as Jackson from time to time..." Michael explained. "People will start talking, and you know how it is with rumours... they spread around very quickly..."
"Yeah, but they are still just rumours, Michael... why would anyone seriously believe them? Let alone Mark?" Lewis had to admit, Michael seemed to really have thought about this pretty well. More than he himself.
"Well... as for Mark... I will let slip some ambiguous comments from time to time... comments that will make him even more suspicious." A grin appeared on Michael's lips. "Like mentioning the small birthmark Jackson has on the inside of his thigh... maybe Mark hasn't even noticed it himself yet, but it definitely is an indication that I know him better than we both dared to admit yet..."
"I'm gonna destroy him methodically, Lewis... just like I promised you... I will take Mark away from him, because at some point Mark won't believe him any word anymore," Michael went on. "He's gonna pay the price for what he did to you and he's definitely going to pay for this nurse's behaviour. He will think twice before he pisses me off next time."
"Are you sure that's really necessary?" Lewis asked, doubts welling up within him again.
"Of course. Lewis, we've talked about this..." Michael placed a hand on Lewis arm, looking him in the eye intensely. "I mean, if you changed your mind, just tell me, and I let go of it, but just remember what he did to you... just remember the pain he put you through just because he was a spoiled little brat and thought he could have everything, even the fiancé of his brother. Don't you want some payback for Tyler? He doesn't deserve to be happy with Mark."
A sharp pain took possession of Lewis' heart by the mention of Tyler's name and so he just nodded.
"Well then..." Michael got up from his chair, smiling down at Lewis. "I'm gonna leave you now, I have some work to do. You have the apartment for the night, just in case you want your toy-boy to come over."
"He's not a toy!" Lewis immediately corrected, watching Michael move to his office door. "He's a human and I don't play any games with him, okay? Not anymore."
Defensive, Michael lifted his hands. "Okay, okay... whatever... have a nice day..."
A knock on the door pulled Lewis out of his thoughts and he turned his head in the right direction. "Yes?"
When the door opened, Alex appeared in his sight, with a small smile on his face. "You ready?"
Lewis immediately got up, getting rid of his lab coat and rounding the table to be able to take Alex in his arms. "More than ready..." he replied, not even fighting back the smile that formed on his lips. "Let's get out of here... unless..." He grinned down at his desk. "You wanna go on where we got interrupted before."
"Definitely not!" Alex hurriedly said, causing Lewis to chuckle.
"I'm really sorry about Michael... I talked to him and it won't happen again, I promise..."
"No, it won't... because I won't have sex with you in your office... ever..." Alex agreed. "It could have been anyone walking in, even Hunt..."
Lewis let out a disappointed sigh. "Yeah, you're right, but..."
"No buts... but I promise I'll make it up to you once we get to your place... your friend told me he won't be there for the night..." Alex replied.
Nodding, Lewis led him out of is office. "Right, he won't... and I can't wait to get home..."
Not even half an hour later they were sitting in Michael's commodious living room on his leather couch eating some take-out Chinese food, when Lewis had to think about Michael's words again.
He looked at Alex with mixed feelings in his stomach, putting down his empty box and leaning back against the couch.
"What?" Alex asked, putting down his own box and moving closer on all four, crawling next to Lewis.
"Nothing... I'm just looking at you..." Lewis replied truthfully.
"And what do you see?" Alex asked touching Lewis' nose with his own.
"A wonderful guy that really makes me happy at the moment... more than I have been in... forever... and I really think I could be happy here..." Lewis gave back.
A surprised look appeared on Alex' face. "You mean here in Seattle?"
"Yeah..." Lewis sighed.
Alex leaned back slightly. "Is that the speech now where you tell me you fell in love with me and want to be in a relationship with me? Because, dude... I don't think I'm ready for that and I thought we agreed on this being casual..."
"No... no..." Lewis replied immediately. "Alex... really..." He grabbed one of Alex hands, stroking it gently. "I... I can't even describe what I feel for you, but it's not love in the usual way... I mean... I know I'm not in love with you, but I also feel so comfortable when I'm with you... as if I can be completely myself... as if I don't have to hide behind a mask... I really... really like you... and this thing with us... is important to me..."
"You're important to me, too, Lewis... and... and somehow it feels right being with you," Alex smiled, causing Lewis to let out a relieved sigh.
He almost thought he had scared him away.
"I... I have to tell you something, though... yesterday... I... I kissed Mark..."
Shocked, Alex looked at him. "When? Why?" He didn't look jealous or anything, just... disappointed. Which was even worse if Lewis was honest to himself.
"In the restaurant... in the bathroom... right before you came in... I... I wanted revenge on Jackson so badly that I thought it would make me feel better once I get it over with... but seriously?" He closed his eyes for a moment, just leaning back against the back of the couch. "I felt... really bad afterwards... especially when you came in... I felt like I... cheated on you, even though I know it's not that... I don't even know how to describe it... But it felt like I could lose what I have with you if I go on doing this... and I don't want to lose you..."
He looked at Alex with a seriously look in his eyes. "Sometimes I'm asking myself if what I'm doing is even worth it... yeah... I wanted to make Jackson suffer... I wanted to cause him pain, but... I'm not only hurting himby doing what I'm doing... I'm hurting all the people around him as well... I'm hurting you..."
Slowly, he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Alex' lips. "I'm... I'm so tired of this whole fucking thing... I just... wanna be happy..." He said earnestly, knowing that he could never totally let go of the whole situation and already believing that he was in too deep to stop it.
"I... I don't even know why you still keep being with me... I'm a bad person, and you know it... I just admitted that I tried to hurt Jackson on purpose... what kind of brother does this?" He shook his head, turning away again. Maybe he shouldn't have come here after all. Maybe he should have just let it go a long time ago. He knew he most likely would never forgive Jackson for sleeping with Tyler, but making his life a living hell didn't make him feel as good as he thought it would.