Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Seventeen, Part Three: Day on the Front Line
By Kaori

"Now that Naruto's rejoined us in the waking world..."

"Fuck you sachou."

"...we can assume our duties in the restaurant proper. Before we go, are there any questions?"

"Why the hell are we hiding behind the counter?"

"Tut-tut Sasuke, even though we are providing service to our customers within a restaurant setting, that is no reason for us to be seen before someone approaches."

"Fine but if Sakura doesn't stop grabbing my ass I'm filing a formal complaint of sexual harassment."

As you have no doubt guessed from the preceding dialogue, Kakashi , Sasuke, and Sakura managed to make it back to the franchise without incident and they along with Naruto are concealed behind the counter preparing to deliver fast, efficient service to the dine-in customers. For reasons that I will not explain, Naruto is not happy. Sasuke is also unhappy but that isn't anything new.

"Umm? Hello? Is anyone here?" a tentative, and decidedly whiny voice inquired. "Whoah!" he exclaimed as Sakura suddenly appeared behind the register. Unbeknownst to him, she had only moved at a speed just above what the human eye is able to follow.

" Welcome to Konoha Ninja Burger, oh honourable customer. How may we serve you?" said Sakura in a pleasant tone as if she hadn't just appeared out of frickin' nowhere.

"Err... I'd like two samurai chicken sandwiches, an onion death blossom, and two large cola..um...please." said the customer.

"Is this dine-in or carry-out?"

"Ah...dine-in."

"Thank you. That will be $15.50. Please proceed to the pick-up area." Once the customer had moved to the area she designated, Sakura turned to her co-workers. "Is it just me or did that guy seem inordinately nervous?"

"It appears that this is his first time here." Kakashi replied, watching the guy from the security feed concealed behind the counter. "Customers who have been here a few times never act with such alarm."

"And about that, isn't anyone worried that a customer with a heart condition could be frightened into an untimely death?"

"Sakura, if you are silly enough to come into a ninja fast food establishment knowing you have a heart problem then you deserve to die of a non-food related heart attack."

"But what if they don't know they have a heart problem?"

"Has anybody told you that you ask too many inconvenient questions?"

While this was going on, Sasuke was serving the next customer and trying very hard not to just kill the guy.

"Look I don't see what's so hard about this." huffed the annoying twenty-something. "I just want a fortune cookie with my food."

"As I keep explaining to you, I cannot give you what we do not serve." ground out Sasuke.

"But isn't this an Asian themed fast food joint? Every Chinese restaurant I go to gives out fortune cookies." the customer continued to whine.

"And if this was a Chinese restaurant we would surely have them. As it is, we are not a Chinese restaurant therefore no fortune cookies."

"Chinese, Japanese what's the difference? You know what, I don't care anymore. Get your manager out here."

"As you wish." Sasuke said, as calmly as one can when they are ten seconds from stabbing someone in the neck. He settled for kicking Kakashi who popped up suddenly using the same manoeuvre Sakura had utilized earlier.

"What seems to be the problem?" Kakashi asked politely, with just a hint of steel in his tone.

"This dumbass," he jerked a thumb at Sasuke. "won't give me a fortune cookie."

"I see." hummed Kakashi. "And did he explain to you that this is a fast food restaurant run by ninja and not a fast food restaurant?"

"Yeah, he kept giving me that stupid excuse like three times."

"Well then, there is but one thing that can be done in this situation." Before the soon to be ex-customer could blink, Kakashi had him tied up like a steer at a rodeo. "Sasuke, please take this gentleman out back and give him his fortune."

"It would be a great honour." Sasuke said evilly, grabbing the end of the rope and heading for the back alley.

There was a brief lull, so to pass the time Kakashi read a Hustler, Naruto was attempting to read over his shoulder, Sakura kept trying to drag Sasuke into the employee lounge to rape him, and Sasuke was desperately trying to get her to stop without killing her (as he had not filled out Form 692-J: Request to Murder Co-worker to Preserve Sexual Purity, it was his only course of action). Once the customers started flowing in again, the quartet ceased their unprofessional activities and got right back to work.

Thankfully for the sanity of the city's sanitation workers, only two more bodies ended up in the dumpster at the end of the work period. The regular crew came back to relieve Team 7 from counter duty, however no one was in the mood to go home just yet. Sasuke was the first to broach the subject.

"I know I'm probably going to regret this later, but since it can't be any worse than going home can I hang out at your place Naruto?" he asked. Naruto blinked in confusion and shock.

For as long as he could remember, no one had ever asked to hang out with him at his home. Granted, most parents wouldn't let their children (ninja or no) hang out unsupervised in a restaurant, but since becoming employed (and reaching a pseudo-state of adulthood) there wasn't any real impediment to anyone asking to spend the night at his place. As it stood, Naruto wasn't sure how to react to such a request and Sakura interrupted before he would have had a chance to respond anyway.

"If Sasuke-kun is staying then I'll stay too!" she declared.

"Umm..." Naruto fidgeted. Kakashi cut him off before he could say anything.

"What a splendid idea! However, since it is rather unseemly for such young employees of mixed company to be rooming together unsupervised, I shall chaperone."

"Your landlord is still pissed at you, isn't he?" accused Sakura.

"Now wait just a damn minute!" Naruto protested, finally finding his voice. "Don't I get a say in this? It's my home after all!"

"Oh yes, I forgot we need the Franchise Manager's permission to stay on after hours. Overtime must be approved after all." shrugged Kakashi.

"How does spending the night in Naruto's room constitute overtime?" asked Sasuke.

"He's franchise property. Spending the night with him is the equivalent of staying to guard the safe."

"Sweet, I won't have to deal with my parents and get paid too."

"You jackasses have to get permission first." Naruto groused.

Getting the Third Franchise Manager's permission to stay the night was actually easier than they'd thought. To Naruto's surprise there was a contingent of ninja assigned to guarding the area around his hidden apartment at night. Why he needed to be guarded was not explained and Sasuke and Sakura were too pleased at not having to go home that they didn't bother to ask about it. Naruto was too annoyed to brook the subject himself; however, realizing he now had houseguests he decided he may as well try and make the most of his situation.

Next scroll, Naruto reluctantly hosts a sleepover.