Just sitting around waiting for my goose to finish cooking. It smells awesome!

Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Eighteen, Part One: Fast Food Ninja Sleepover
By Kaori

It wasn't until Naruto started grumbling about where the hell everybody was going to sleep that the others realized that they didn't have any clothes to sleep in. Luckily for them there were plenty of pajamas in the crash room (1).

"Why are these clothes so itchy?" Sakura complained once she'd gotten changed.

"It's to discourage people from taking up residence here. We can't have people that aren't company property living at the franchise after all." explained Kakashi. "Just be thankful that there was anything here to wear at all."

"Why is your cupboard full of ramen and Godiva chocolates?" Sasuke asked, dispassionately.

"Hey! Get out of there! Who said you could snoop in my kitchen?" glared Naruto.

"No way! Is that a hot tub?" gasped Sakura. "Oooh, Sasuke we can cuddle up together and those two can serve us drinks..."

"Maybe I should have gone home." muttered Sasuke, just low enough that no one else heard him.

"Naruto, there is a severe lack of porn in your room." Kakashi noted. Naruto, now ridiculously annoyed, punched him in the kidney.

"I didn't invite you here you douche! You wanna watch porn go home!" yelled the blonde. He crossed his arms in annoyance. "You guys are guests in my house, try and act like it. I swear, your ancestors must be rolling in their graves at the disgrace." Sakura and Sasuke actually looked slightly ashamed of themselves, while Kakashi only seemed mildly sorry. "Since you're here and you have no intentions of leaving, I'll try and be a good host but you guys gotta behave yourselves too or so help me I'll make all of your lives hell."

Priority one for Naruto was making sure everyone's sleeping arrangements were decided upon. Sakura would be sleeping on his bed (although she insisted that he change the sheets first) and everyone else would be sleeping on the floor around it. Once everyone had settled into their spaces for the night, they went about the business of making and eating cheeseburgers.

"Ne, sachou." Sakura mumbled around a mouthful of cheeseburger. "What was your team like when you were a rookie Deliverator?"

"Well..." Kakashi hummed, absently. "when I look at you guys I'm reminded of them a little bit. Sakura reminds me of Rin with the same tendencies toward stalking and attempted rape; had I known she was going to grow up to be so damn hot I would have let her before she got over me. Naruto reminds me of Obito and his weirdness; a shame he had to commit seppuku, you guys would probably have liked him. Sasuke reminds me of me before I discovered the wonderful world of porn." Sasuke glared at him. "Oh don't give me that look, you too shall discover the power and majesty that is smut."

"I'd sooner kiss Naruto." glowered Sasuke.

"If that's what floats your boat. I'm not the type to judge." To his credit, Sasuke did not rise to the bait. "Anyway, my supervisor was the Fourth Franchise Manager. Great guy. Funny, smart, and a real ladies man; no pizza-toting samurai or pasta-slinging mafioso could ever hope to match his skills. If only he had learned not to drink so damn much he'd still be here with us."

"I heard he was assassinated for tattooing obscene things on his sister's kid." Sakura said.

"If you know what's good for you you'll forget you ever heard that." the supervisor admonished. "Not only is that only half correct but we don't talk about that incident because it brings shame on the franchise."

"The Third Franchise Manager says I can talk about it as much as I want." Naruto piped up proudly, then frowned. "But I don't really know any more than Sakura does so I don't bother."

"And that's another thing!" Sakura , determined to get herself in problems, exclaimed. "Why the hell is Naruto so special that he can just waltz into the Franchise Manager's office whenever the fuck he feels like and do whatever he wants?"

"Yours is not to question why, but to shut up and mind your own business. (2)" Kakashi wasn't about to tell her that the old man was grooming Naruto to be a replacement for the Fourth Franchise Manager in hopes that the boy would not only prove to be as brilliant at the job as his uncle (3), and using him as a tool to annoy those who have slighted him. "Enough about Naruto for now, how about we play a game?"

Once the inevitable suggestions of Spin the Bottle, Seven Minutes in Heaven, Truth or Dare, and other cliché slumber party games were out of the way, the quartet of ninja settled down for a game of Scrabble.

"For the last time Naruto, "burninate" is not a word." scowled Sakura.

"I believe my friend Trogdorr would disagree." the blonde countered placidly.

"Trogdorr is no one's friend Naruto." Kakashi pointed out. "And Sakura , if you don't want your house burned down I suggest you acknowledge the cromulent status of the word burninate (4)."

"You guys are just mad that I won the last seven games." Sakura muttered. "All right, so that's 11 points and the added double word score gives you 22. It's your turn Sasuke-kun."

"In that case I'm adding a "d" to burninate and making it burninated."

"You're so brilliant Sasuke-kun! That's 26 points!"

"I'm using the "e" in burninated to spell sex." Kakashi said. "That's 10 points."

"I'm adding a "y" to make it sexy. " she leered at Sasuke as she said "sexy"; he cringed.

"Can we play something else? I can already see where this is heading I don't like it." Naruto protested.

"Actually, it's getting pretty late and we do have to report in to work."

"Oh Sasuke-kuuuuuun, you can share the bed with meeeeee." crooned Sakura. The dark-haired deliverator didn't answer her, instead he flopped himself onto his bedroll on the floor and wrapped himself up in the blanket tight as a bale of hay.

Believe it or not, I have no idea what happens next. I'll let you guys know once I've figured it out. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

1) A crash room is a small room (usually in a hospital or at an airport) that usually has two cots in it for people who are on the job long hours and are too sleepy to drive, or get ill at work and have to be put somewhere until somebody comes to get them.

2) If you want to live a long, relatively trouble free life it is best to that you learn to apply this philosophy when it comes to the antics of some of your more "interesting" relatives.

3) In case you've forgotten, in this universe Minato isn't Naruto's dad. I haven't decided whether or not Kushina is still his mother yet.

4) Some of you will get the joke, the rest of you are too young to remember 1996, weren't born yet, or just didn't watch The Simpsons.