Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Eighteen, Part Two: Wake Up, Scream, Go to Work
By Kaori

"AAAAAH!" Sasuke's terrified shriek woke up everyone else. Apparently Sakura had somehow managed to get into Sasuke's sleeping bag (tightly wrapped as it was) without waking him up. She clung to him like a limpet and was in the process of divesting him of his clothes.

"Hey, it's rude to have sex in other people's houses and not offer to have an orgy." Kakashi muttered sleepily.

"YOU SICK BASTARD! HELP ME!"

"It's three o' clock in the morning. Just let her rape you already." the supervisor yawned, lazily stretching his arms above his head. Apparently he didn't care one way or the other whether the dark-haired young man was sexually assaulted.

"NARUTO! WAKE UP!" Sasuke was frantic now, hopping over to where his other co-worker was blissfully still asleep.

"...mmmngh...Sakura's silken thighs (1)..."

"..."

Sasuke's expletive was cut off by Naruto waking up, seeing the soon-to-be obscene scene, and throwing a chair at him, but hitting Sakura instead.

"Thanks Naruto." gasped Sasuke.

"Damn, I missed...Errr, I mean, no problem."

Content to let Sakura remain unconscious for the time being, the males went through the morning rituals of scratching, bathing, combing their hair et cetera, et cetera. Naturally Sakura was very disappointed that she missed the opportunity to accost Sasuke while he was naked, but she figured there would be plenty of other opportunities to molest the dark-haired one in the future.

Breakfast was a rather bland affair consisting of milk, toast, coffee, and soft boiled eggs. Naruto was trying to deal with having company at breakfast time, Sasuke was trying to remember when last he was able to eat breakfast without an attempt being made on his life, Sakura was staring at Sasuke, and Kakashi was wondering if he could convince Naruto to let him stay a few more nights so he wouldn't have to face his landlord.

Seeing that their shift wasn't for another four hours, Team 7 decided to spend some time practicing their food fighting.

Naruto clutched his spatulas and glared at his opponent. Oh how he would love to rush in and dismantle his target with extreme prejudice, but a hasty and ill-timed attack would not be effective against such a foe. No. This called for precision and cunning. There! The weak point! He tensed, sprang forward, and struck!

"GRRAAAAH!" Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip. Sizzle. Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip. Sizzle. Flip. Flip. Flip. Flip. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. "Ha! Top that Sasuke!" Naruto crowed.

"Psh. Your pattyken (2) technique is weak. I can flip six burned burgers and decapitate all of my targets." Sasuke stated.

"Prove it!" Sasuke quite happily obliged, giving his blonde co-worker a smug smirk. Naruto pouted. "Show-off..."

Sakura, meanwhile was busily grinding mustard and peppercorns for use as an eye irritant. While the R&D Department provided most of the equipment doled out to Ninja Burger employees, it was still required that all employees learn how to properly mix condiments into various irritants, poisons, and explosives. After all, it is a distinct possibility for a ninja to run out of standard items while on a mission, and may find it necessary to make more on the fly.

Kakashi looked up from where he was pretending to keep an eye on his underlings to spot a white blur streak towards the front area. "Well that's not a good thing." he thought, putting away his porno magazine and getting his subordinates' attention. "Everyone, I don't want to be an alarmist but there appears to be a white ninja loose in the franchise."

DOOM DOOM DOOM! How will Team 7 deal with the dastardly vandal that is the white ninja? The only way to find out is to read the next chapter when it comes out. Until then perhaps you would like to take the time in between to go out and do some charity work? Just a thought. No pressure or anything.

1) Bowdlerized line from the Excel Saga dub.

2) Using burned hamburger patties as shuriken.