I'm going to Vegas! No seriously, I'm going. Got my ticket and everything. Any reviewers in the area want to recommend good places to eat that aren't crammed with tourists?

Naruto: Ninja Burger Chronicles
Scroll Eighteen, Part Three: Attack of the White NInja
By Kaori

Typically, once told not to panic, the three rookies did exactly that.

"OMGWTFBBQ!" Sakura screamed insensibly, as she and her two cohorts ran around the room in a flustered panic. All that's missing are the chicken suits and this would totally be a flustercluck. As it stands, they merely resemble chickens with their heads cut off. Very undignified, yet perfectly understandable for the underlying motive behind the white ninja's attack is nothing less than the complete destruction of Ninja Burger. Very few are trained in the ways of dealing with such a threat, and none of them were present hence the very unprofessional panicking.

Now I know what you're thinking, Orochimaru already stated he had the same goal and he's not a white ninja. That premise is incorrect.

Orochimaru wants to take over the Konoha franchise and eventually change Ninja Burger to suit his gourmet ideals. White ninja want Ninja Burger completely and utterly obliterated. Why? That is known only to white ninja; quite possibly not even them. So single-minded are they: White ninja sleeps not, eats not, and lives to destroy all that is Ninja Burger. Enemies that you cannot reason with or bribe, that require no rest or sustenance, and only want your death are more frustrating than the multiple types of fast food chains run by samurai.

But we're getting off track and the white ninja is getting away.

"Calm down." Kakashi sighed. "Panicking won't solve anything. The first thing we need to do is hit the silent alarm and alert the rest of the restaurant."

Once that task was accomplished, Kakashi proceeded to brief them on how this situation was going to be handled.

To begin with, the doors leading to the restaurant proper would be sealed off from the rest of the building. This would allow every ninja not working in the dining area to deal with the white ninja threat without panicking the customers. However, this meant that the kitchen and the dispatch area were still vulnerable to attack so anyone in those rooms would have to be on the alert.

A plague of rats came thundering through the room, followed by an intrusion of cockroaches, and a clutter of spiders (1).

"Ah, it appears it has already begun." nodded the Supervisor. "Quickly, judging by the direction those vermin came from the white ninja is already heading for the kitchen."

Following the path of mayhem, Deliverator Team 7 ended up in the kitchen where the employees there were valiantly defending their territory. However, instead of the lone white ninja the team was expecting, there appeared to be twenty-six (2).

"He's not actually in here!" the Head Chef yelled, throwing some sesame seeds into his opponent's eyes and then decapitating him with an oversized cleaver. "These are merely clones!" To illustrate the point, the body on the floor in front of him turned into a pile of ash. "Tsk, better clean that up right away." he muttered to himself.

"Did you see which way the real one went?" Kakashi asked, neatly stabbing a clone while heading towards the Head Chef's dais.

"Near as I can tell he's heading towards the sub-basement. Most likely he'll try to override our security system so he can get into the dining area. You'd better get down there."

Wasting no further time on conversation, Kakashi harangued his team onward in hopes of heading the fiendish white ninja off at the proverbial pass.

Like any decent secret base worth its triple reinforced titanium doors, all Konoha Ninja Burger franchise locations have at least three sub-basements. This particular location has nine sub-basements; all of them colour-coded. Having used Naruto's extensive knowledge of the secret passageways throughout the complex, Deliverator Team 7 had managed to beat the white ninja to the entrance of the first sub-basement; White Level.

"Gird your loins my suboridnates." Kakashi intoned. "For it is here that we must make our stand against the dreaded white ninja."

"...and to Inuzuka Kiba, who laughed at my ass, I leave fuck all the rat bastard." Naruto had decided to take this moment to write his will.

"Come on Sasuke, all I ask is a quickie before we die horribly." cajoled Sakura. Sasuke was twitching like a rabbit on LSD.

"Not if you were the only woman on Earth." he ground out. Kakashi tutted.

"Sasuke, a young virgin (you are a virgin, right Sakura?) girl is begging you to do her. The least you could do is oblige her before you both die."

A low rumbling sound approached their location, and all conversation ceased. It got louder the closer it came, and the floor vibrated. the Deliverators drew their weapons.

They expected the white ninja and an army of clones to come barrelling towards them.

"HOLY SHIT RUN!" screamed Kakashi.

They did not expect the white ninja to be riding a road roller equipped with a spiked drum going 100 mph. The quartet dove out of the way just in time to avoid being flattened, and had to watch as a huge, cartoonish hole was created in the otherwise sturdy barricade. Sakura was the first to recover.

"How in the name of all that is sacred did he get that thing in here?" she demanded.

"Better question, how the fuck did he get it to move so fast?" Naruto spat.

"None of that is important. He's getting away." Kakashi pointed out.

"You're not seriously making us go after him!" squawked the junior employees.

Several seconds later they were following the path of destruction down into Violet Level, the third sub-basement.

"I can't believe we're fucking doing this." Sasuke hissed. They'd passed the road roller sans white ninja back up in Blue Level. It was too badly damaged after ramming through two steel doors ; and it only barely made it through the second one. While not having to contend with the construction vehicle was a relief, the brunette would have preferred letting someone else chase down the enemy ninja.

"Whether you believe it or not, the fact remains that we are "doing this" as you so aptly put it." said Kakashi.

"I know what, or rather who, I'd rather be doing." Sakura muttered testily. Apparently being sexually frustrated was starting to get to her. Honestly, someone needs to get that girl's hormone levels checked; she's even starting to scare me now."You can take your concern and shove it."

"I take it our invisible friend is back and weren't actually referring to me. Now watch yourselves, it looks like we've caught up to him." In his most intimidating tone, Kakashi demanded the enemy ninja to turn around slowly.

"Fine, " the ninja agreed. "but just know that I'm going to put a stop to you all no matter what it takes."

"Wait a minute." Sakura frowned. "That voice sounds familiar."

"And now that I've got a good look at him, he's not wearing the white ninja garb I'm used to seeing." Kakahsi mused aloud.

"What do you mean "used to seeing"? This is the first time I've ever been to this place and I'm positive I've never met any of you before." the white ninja seemed to be confused. "Isn't this Lothor's hideout?"

"No, this is Konoha Ninja Burger." Sasuke replied, annoyed. "You're two whole countries off (3)."

"Aww man, at this rate I'm never going to get any mileage out of these outfits." pouted the white ninja. "And I went to all that trouble learning the ninja clone technique..."

"Wait, I recognize your voice now! You're Tommy Oliver the Power Ranger!" the rosette pointed excitedly. "Can I have your autograph?"

"Uuh, sure I guess."

Naruto and Sasuke were less than thrilled that the foe they had been chasing was just a washed up sentai member. How utterly anti-climatic. On the bright side they didn't have to die today, and Sakura seems to have decided that if Sasuke wasn't going to oblige her she may as well molest Tommy.

"Should we..." Naruto pointed to where the pink-haired one was happily harassing the poor ex-Power Ranger.

"Better him than me." grunted Sasuke. "Come on, let's go back upstairs and get something to eat before someone decides to make us clean up this mess."

"That reminds me, weren't there a bunch of vermin loose on the premises?"

"Ah that." Kakashi chimed in. "I just got into contact with the Head Chef, apparently Kurenai's team were in the break room when all this started. Kiba was so startled by the alarm he tripped and spilled hot cocoa all over Shino, who was preparing his sabotage kit. Don't worry, once the all-clear is given I'm sure he'll recapture all of his critters."

This whole debacle is the result of a conversation with my nephew (whose first experience with Power Rangers is Jungle Fury) as to who the heck Tommy Oliver is. I had to explain everything from the beginning, and then I got to thinking about why he didn't show up again until Dino Thunder. All that was left was to turn it into a chapter and here we are: Tommy Oliver has been trying to horn in on other continuities but kept getting lost. As for the ninja outfit, it's from Power Rangers: The Movie. He was trying to get some more mileage out of it. As for why I'm still watching Power Rangers at my age; I'm my niece and nephews' only aunt and I am determined to understand their interests.

And besides, it's either that or reality TV.

1) Isn't the English language fun? I was going to include a murder of crows, but that wouldn't make sense even in a crack-fic.

2) One for each employee in the kitchen.

3) He's a Deliverator, he ought to know.