A/N: Hello again… So… there we are with Chapter 44… and we're really glad you're still with us… I know we're producing a lot of drama at the moment and it's definitely not over yet ^^" But it will be, and there will be some happy moments in between… but things might get difficult with "new people" arriving… because some of those people might mess with other people's heads… and hearts…
Anyways… we hope, you enjoy Chapter 44 and that you'll stay with us on the "joyride" :-)
Have fun!
Alex Karev POV:
Alex saw Arizona's look of desperation and it twisted something inside of him. Alex knew she was only biding her time and the minute Jackson looked at the chart he would know that Robbins had only made up this need for a consult to trick him.
Being around Jackson these days was like walking a mine field. Making the wrong step...saying the wrong thing...could lead to an explosion of epic proportions.
Alex had seemed to have a knack for finding every single bomb and stepping on it with Jackson so if he could prevent Arizona from having to deal with another verbal assault from Jackson then that was something Alex would do.
He was used to it.
Reaching into her desk Arizona pulled out the manila envelope and was about to hand it over before Alex snatched it from her hands and both Arizona and Jackson looked at him with incredulous eyes.
"Alex, what are you doing?" Arizona asked.
"I think we'll be fine making this a solo thing" Alex said as he looked at Jackson "you can get back to your office"
Jackson wore a stern and unpleasant look on his face "Then why in the hell did you ask me to come here then?" he asked and each word was clipped with a strong line of anger.
"It was a mistake" Alex said plainly "I'm sorry"
Alex saw Jackson bite the inside of his cheek as he turned to head out of the door, but as he reached the exit he turned back around "Don't waste my time again" he told Alex and Arizona.
"Yeah, I forgot how important that is" Alex said and Arizona gave him a sharp hit to his arm and look not to engage Jackson.
"We can't all be second fiddle, Alex" Jackson told him with a smile "some of us are actually good enough to run our own departments"
"What the hell does that mean?"
With a laugh Jackson put his hands on his hips. And Alex could feel his blood boiling. He couldn't help it and he was getting tired of Jackson always being able to get to him.
"Just let it go" Arizona told Alex quietly "you know he only wants to rile you up"
"I'd listen to your master Karev, you wouldn't want to get a rolled up newspaper across the nose would you" Jackson said.
Alex tried to stay focused on Arizona as she stood in front of him and held his face in her hands. She knew just like Alex that if the man were to look at Jackson and see the man's smug expression he would lose his temper completely.
"Tell me, Dr. Robbins?" Jackson asked "if I put a treat in my hand could I get Karev to lick my palm? I hear that's how you know you have your dogs well-trained"
Alex reacted on instinct immediately as he pushed Arizona aside and made a run for Jackson. Luckily Arizona was quick and managed to use all her strength to hold Alex back a mere 5 inches away from Jackson.
"There we go!" Jackson laughed "and here I thought this visit would be a useless one, but it's worth it to see Karev foam at the mouth"
"You can go" Arizona told Jackson angrily "we're done"
Giving a small salute Jackson turned on his heels and left Arizona's office.
Alex could feel the anger run through his veins and he couldn't seem to be able to get a hold of them.
"What are you doing?" Arizona asked "don't you see you did exactly what he wanted?"
"I just...he's so fucking infuriating" Alex told her.
"He's sick and lashing out" Arizona said "and he wants to cause other to lash out and had you actually hit him it would have been all he needed to get you suspended or even fired, Alex"
The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. With Alex out of the picture it was one less person Jackson felt he would have to answer to and Alex had almost played right into it.
"I-I'm sorry" he said "I'm going to get better"
Arizona looked to visibly relax "He needs our help, Alex and he's going to fight it tooth and nail, but we have to be better than the stuff he throws at us"
Alex felt shame. He had grown up dealing with an alcoholic and if anybody knew how to be around someone with addiction it should have been Alex.
"Why don't you go check on the patient" Arizona said with a pat to Alex's shoulder "I'll catch up with you in a bit".
"Yeah" Alex responded "that sounds good" and walking towards the door he stopped "and thank you, Dr. Robbins. You saved my ass"
"Don't mention it" Arizona smiled "I'm getting used to it"
Smiling Alex felt the anger from the past few minutes wash away.
Alex had managed to keep himself busy for the rest of his shift. Between patients and checking up on April periodically he managed to wipe the rough morning off.
Driving to the apartment that Lewis had moved into after he and Holt's last argument Alex felt the long day weigh heavy on him. He knew Lewis was going through a hard time. Between his fear for Jackson and his anger at Holt Lewis was trying his best to hold it all together and Alex had no intention of making anything harder.
Taking out his key that Lewis had given him, something that had been unexpectedly touching to Alex, he walked in to see the man standing at the stove cooking something that smelled like pasta sauce.
"Hey Honey, I'm home!" Alex chuckled and turning around Lewis gave him a bemused smirk.
"Very funny" Lewis said "come here and tell me if this tastes okay"
Walking over Alex licked the sauce off of the wooden spoon that Lewis was holding out.
"That tastes awesome" Alex told him and it only made Alex's stomach rumble at the thought of dinner.
"Good" Lewis responded as he turned back around "You mind setting the table while I finish this?" Lewis asked.
"Of course" Alex smiled as he reached over top of Lewis and grabbed the plates that Lewis had put in the cabinet the previous day.
The apartment was pretty impressive for having gotten it in a matter of 12 hours. Although, something told Alex that Lewis being an Avery had something to do with helping him expedite the process.
The family was a well-known name and probably had enough money to buy 5 more of these apartments if they wanted to.
After the table was set and dinner was served Lewis and Alex sat across from one another and enjoyed the peace. The meal was fantastic and it reminded Alex of the times when Jackson would surprise he and April by cooking them dinner.
Alex was a pretty awful cook and those nights when he got to have an actual home-cooked meal were ones that he treasured. It was what had initially bonded the three of them.
"You here, Alex?" Lewis asked and shaking his head free of his memories Alex smiled.
"Yeah...it's just Jackson used to like cooking after a rough day"
Lewis looked down and Alex regretted bringing Jackson into the conversation, but when Lewis looked back up he had a wistful smile on his face.
"Our dad was a foodie" Lewis said "he started teaching us how to cook as soon as we knew what a pot and pan was" Lewis' eyes sparkled "Jackson picked it up like second nature and I think that's part of why dad always preferred him. Those two were so much alike you would think dad gave birth to Jackson all by himself" the laugh that Lewis gave tried to be light, but Alex could hear the hurt behind it.
Reaching over Alex grabbed Lewis' hand and ran his thumb over the man's knuckle "This is fantastic and I have no doubt your dad would be proud of this dish".
"Thanks, Alex" Lewis said leaning over and capturing the man's lips in a gentle kiss. The kiss made Alex's toes curl and he loved the way Lewis could make something as simple as a kiss feel so...overpoweringly wonderful.
Breaking apart Lewis stood up and his face was bright and lips glistening "I'm going to get the bedroom ready, why don't you finish up and meet me in there, huh?" Lewis asked seductively and the blood rushed immediately to his groin.
"Yeah-Yeah" Alex said excitedly and it made Lewis laugh.
Kissing the side of Alex's head he made his way to the bedroom and Alex did his best to both, enjoy the rest of his pasta, and finish it as fast as possible.
After he was done he went to clean the table and putting the plates in the sink Alex had caught Lewis' phone blinking red. He must have had a message.
"Lewis!" Alex yelled "I think someone left you a voicemail"
"Can you listen to it for me?" Lewis yelled back "I have some clients that are trying to set up some appointments".
"Alright" Alex said and hitting the button Alex listened and waited for the voice of what he assumed would be some drawn out drawl asking about appointment times and recommendations.
Instead what he got was a voice that was yelling over what sounded like a very big and busy city.
"Lewis. This is Tyler, I'm in London at a conference and I just got your message. Why in the fuck aren't you answering your phone? I'm catching the first plane out and I'm going to be there as soon as possible. Don't you lose him, do you hear me Lewis? Don't let him slip away. I'm coming...just hold on, please"
Alex listened to the message with baited breath. So this was Tyler and Alex had to admit the guy sounded as if he was going to move heaven and earth and for that Alex had to respect the guy.
"Alex...I'm waiting" Lewis said lightly "This bed is extra springy"
Looking towards the room Alex had a mental debate of whether to tell Lewis before or after the sex. In the end Alex knew he wouldn't be able to properly focus until he told Lewis, and besides, the sex could be even better after Lewis received the good news that Tyler was on his way.
"Lewis...you have to hear something"
Lewis Avery POV:
Lewis had already undressed until he was only wearing shorts anymore and he was waiting for Alex impatiently, when he heard him shout that he had to hear something and got off the bed, sighing.
He made his way towards the kitchen and hugged Alex from behind, kissing his earlobe and his cheek.
"What is it, baby?" he asked gently, while touching Alex' stomach and looking down at the phone Alex was standing in front of that was still blinking.
"I think you should listen to that..." Alex told him, turning around in his embrace and looking into his eyes. "It's... pretty important..."
"Oh..." Lewis replied surprised, but turning away from the phone and turning his attention back to Alex in his arms. "Can't that wait until after I'm finished with you?" he grinned, letting one of his hands slide down to touch Alex' ass.
"I don't think so..." Alex said seriously. "Please... just listen to it, okay? I'm sure you wanna hear it..."
Lewis let out a sigh. "Okay..." He pressed the button on the phone, listening to the voice asking him if he wanted to hear his message again, so he pressed the right button and waited for a few seconds, and the moment he recognized the voice on his answering machine, he froze.
"Lewis. This is Tyler, I'm in London at a conference and I just got your message. Why in the fuck aren't you answering your phone? I'm catching the first plane out and I'm going to be there as soon as possible. Don't you lose him, do you hear me Lewis? Don't let him slip away. I'm coming...just hold on, please"
His hand was shaking when he pushed the red button to end the call and he felt really strange all of a sudden. His stomach was fluttering and his heart was beating a lot faster than it should be.
Speaking to Tyler's voicemail and leaving him a message in a situation he had been in when he had done so was one thing, but hearing him like that, still caring and so worried, made Lewis' mind run upside down.
"You okay, baby?" he heard Alex' voice and it was like he was miles away, even though he was standing right in front of him.
"Yeah... yeah sure... I... I just didn't expect to hear from Tyler anymore..." he replied, and it was the truth. He had already almost given up hope that Tyler would still call him back, even though deep down he knew that he should have never doubted him, because Tyler had always cared for Jackson. A lot. Of course he would do everything to help him, just like Lewis had tried a dozen times, but maybe Tyler was really able to get through to him when no one else could.
"That's good news, right?" Alex asked, touching his face. "I mean, he's gonna come and he's gonna help Jackson... that's what you... we wanted, right?"
Lewis nodded immediately. "Yes... yes, it is..." He leaned his forehead against Alex' and closed his eyes for a couple of seconds before he opened them again. "I'm just not used to hearing his voice anymore, I think... should I call him back?"
"I don't know..." Alex replied with an insecure smile on his face, and Lewis could tell that he being so shaken up all of a sudden made Alex really nervous. Which he absolutely didn't want. He needed to calm down and show Alex once more how much he meant to him and how glad he was to have him in his life.
"I'll... I'll call him back later if he hasn't tried to contact me until then... That can wait and he probably is busy anyways..."
"Yeah, probably..." Alex replied, looking away from Lewis and trying to get out of his embrace. "Maybe I should leave you alone for tonight? To sort your thoughts..."
"No..." Lewis replied immediately, capturing his wrist when Alex was about to get away and pulling him back. "You're not going anywhere..." he whispered, leaning down and kissing Alex softly.
"You sure about that? I mean you obviously still care for him and if you need some time for yourself..." Alex started, but was cut off mid-sentence by Lewis.
"What I need is you..." he replied with a gentle tone in his voice, grabbing his face and making him look up at him. "You're all that I want, okay? No matter what happens, I'm with you and I'll stand by you... we're in this together, remember?"
A small smile appeared on Alex' lips. "Yes, I remember... I just thought you might have changed your mind..."
"Absolutely not!" Lewis confirmed, lifting Alex up and feeling his legs around his waist. He carried him to the bedroom like that and gently put him down on the mattress, touching his face. "You're the one that I want... the only one... and I'm gonna proof it to you... that you're mine..." he whispered, before he started kissing Alex' lips.
He pushed away every thought of Tyler as far as he could, and with Alex kissing him back like that, it wasn't very hard to completely forget about him. Alex made him happy and he wanted to be happy. He deserved to be happy, and even though Tyler would come back to his life, that wouldn't change.
Tyler would only come back for Jackson anyways. That had nothing to do with him or them, it was for Jackson. They had something they both wanted: for Jackson to get better, and Tyler was most likely the only option still working and Lewis was willing to do everything in his power to help him get his brother some help. If someone was able to make him see what he was about to lose, it was Tyler.
"You still with me, baby?" Alex' words sounded close to his ear and a few seconds later Alex was biting his earlobe, driving him crazy with it.
"Yeah... I am... I'm completely yours..." he replied breathlessly, kissing Alex again and letting his tongue dart into Alex' mouth, exploring it, while one of his hands pushed Alex' shirt upwards and started touching his stomach, tracing the outlines of his muscles and causing Alex to buckle up.
"Lewis..." He moaned, breaking the kiss and looking up at him. "I want you inside of me..."
A smile appeared on Lewis' lips. "And I'm gonna give you exactly what you want..." he replied, pulling Alex' shirt over his head and starting to place soft kisses on his shoulders and his chest, feeling Alex cling to him.
"I want... I want..." Alex started, taking in a few sharp breathes when Lewis started licking one of his nipples.
"What do you want, Alex? Tell me..." Lewis asked, stopping in his tracks and looking up at him.
"I want you to... not just fuck me... I want us to make love..." Alex replied, his cheeks turning slightly red and Lewis couldn't help but find it adorable. This was definitely something new, something, Lewis didn't expect. It wasn't like they only had passionate, wild sex. They had been gentle with each other before, but right then it seemed like Alex really needed it. Needed him to show him that he was the only one for him.
"I will..." he replied, touching Alex' face and kissing him with all of his heart. "I love you, Alex, and I'm gonna show you..."
"I love you, too!" Alex said, closing his eyes, while one of Lewis' hands moved to his jeans and opened them.
He had to end the kiss to be able to completely undress him, and Alex helped him with lifting his hips, so Lewis could pull down his jeans and boxers in one move and pulled them off his feet, before he removed Alex' socks, so Alex was laying naked on the bed.
"You're beautiful..." Lewis commented, enjoying the view for a couple of seconds, before leaning down again to capture Alex' lips in another kiss, that started gentle and sweet but got more and more passionate with every second. Their tongues were fighting a fight no one would win, while Alex' hands were travelling up and down Lewis' spine and Lewis' hands were moving towards Alex' stomach to touch his cock, that was only half-hard so far.
He started massaging it, moving his fingers up and down his shaft, and felt it harden and increase his size in his hand, and this really turned him on. He simply loved it when he was causing this reaction on Alex' and the feeling of him getting harder and bigger like that was just hot.
Slowly, he removed his lips from Alex', travelling down his neck and licking over his nipples again before he knelt down between his legs. He wanted to taste Alex, wanted to have him in his mouth, and prepare him for what was about to come at the same time, and he knew Alex would love it.
He leaned down, pushing back the foreskin just a bit and swirled his tongue around the head, letting it slide into his slit and then he surrounded his glans with his lips, starting to move his head up and down, while his tongue was still playing with the sensitive flesh.
With every move he engulfed more of his length until he was deep-throating him, hearing Alex moan and feeling shivers from his body.
"Lewis... oh god, Lewis..." Over and over again Alex groaned his name and if he hadn't been hard as a rock before, Lewis would be now, because Alex sounded just really hot and it made him wanna jump his bones. It took a lot of him to hold back and be this gentle, but he knew it would be worth it, knew it would be just as good for him as it was for Alex once he was inside of him.
He sat up just enough so he could reach for the nightstand and grab the lube and a condom and placed the condom on the mattress next to him while he opened the lube and put a fair amount on his fingers, warming it just a little bit, before he started working on Alex' entrance, first just teasing with his fingertip, but then sliding in easily. Alex was totally relaxed and it didn't even take a minute for Lewis to be able to insert a 2nd finger. He started thrusting in and out of Alex, searching for this sweet spot that made Alex go crazy and knowing he had found it when Alex buckled up and spread his legs even wider. His moans almost turned into screams when he started taking his cock into his mouth again at the same time he was moving his fingers.
One of Alex' hands entangled in Lewis' curly hair while the other was grabbing the sheet very tightly and Lewis could feel Alex' cock pulsating in his mouth, knowing if he went on like that, Alex would come before he was inside of him. Not that he had a problem with it, but all of a sudden he felt Alex pushing him away just slightly and looking at him under his heavy breathes.
"That's... that's enough, Lewis... I need you inside of me right now..." Lewis heard him say and smiled at him.
"Okay... but I could have ended it and made you come all over again..." he grinned, leaning upwards and capturing Alex' lips in a longing kiss.
"No... I wanna... wanna come with you... I want to feel you deep inside of me when I come..." Alex whispered, reaching down and grabbing Lewis' cock through his shorts. "but first we need to get rid of that..." he grinned, pushing down Lewis' shorts and helping him get out of it, before he grabbed the condom and opened it.
Lewis watched him licking his lips while he was doing it, closing his eyes when Alex started rolling it onto his hard cock. He felt Alex' hand on it and looked down, noticing that he had already lubed him, before he sank back down on the mattress and opening his legs welcoming, giving Lewis a perfect view of his hole and god, he never had looked sexier.
"Do it..." Alex literally begged, pulling Lewis down and grabbing his cock, moving it towards his entrance, and that was all Lewis needed to hear right now. With one gentle push he was inside of him, feeling Alex rear up and meeting him halfway, so they were literally melted together.
The heat surrounding Lewis cock was almost too much already and he had to use all of his strength and willpower not to come right then, looking down at Alex. "You're... awesome..."
"So are you..." Alex smiled up at him, looping his legs around Lewis' waist and his arms around his neck and starting to move underneath him.
"Stop..." Lewis hissed. "Please... just give me a moment, or I'll... I'll come right now... it's just... so good..."
"It is... I feel so close to you, Lewis..." Alex gave back, touching Lewis face and looking up at him. "Make love to me..."
And Lewis did by starting to thrust into him slowly and gently, enjoying every single second of it. Yes, he loved hot and passionate sex, but this was just as good, and it was like he felt everything much more intensely than ever before by going such a slow pace. They found the perfect rhythm together and Lewis just knew that what he needed was right here. In front of his eyes. No matter who was coming back to his life, he was right where he belonged. With Alex.
Alex Karev POV:
He and Lewis had made love. The statement was both simple and complicated. As Lewis lay asleep on his chest, his arm wrapped around Alex's waist, Alex thought of their first meeting in that bar a lifetime ago.
It was amazing how so much had changed in such a short amount of time.
5 months ago had you told Alex he would be laying here with Jackson Avery's brother of all people he would have called you a lunatic, but in this moment he couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
His mind had gone back to the voicemail this Tyler guy had sent and Alex wondered if he would be the game changer. He thought back to Miami and knocking on Jackson's door the morning of their missed flight. He hadn't officially met Tyler, but he had learned of him for the first time that day. Thinking back now Alex wished he had pushed his way through Jackson and actually got to introduce himself.
All he remembered was a tall man with blond hair and a prominent lean jaw. Alex recalled thinking he was an attractive looking dude.
The guy had to have something special about him. The Avery brothers were nothing if not insanely attractive. Alex had never been blind to Jackson's own looks. Piercing green eyes and a lean body had made Alex more then a little insecure when the guy had first arrived from Mercy West.
Then there was Lewis, with his blue eyes and wide muscular body would have made Alex equally as insecure if it was one that he wasn't able to claim as his own every night.
Sparse hair across Lewis' pecs that lead to a waist that looked like it had been sculpted with the intentional purpose of driving women and men insane. Running his fingers along Lewis' hipbone lightly Alex smiled when the man unconsciously wiggled in his sleep.
This Tyler guy intrigued Alex and his arrival was one that he was anticipating.. Alex also knew he wasn't the only. Despite what Lewis was trying to hide Alex knew the man was nervous.
How could he not be? This Tyler guy was a huge part of his life and for better or worse had changed it quite dramatically. It would be as if Izzie had suddenly decided to return. Alex was quite sure he wouldn't have the faintest idea how to act.
Besides blinding panic and crippling fear.
"Are you still up?" Lewis asked groggily as he lifted his head from Alex's chest.
"Yeah" Alex smiled as he leaned down and gave a kiss to the top of the man's head and took in his smell. The curls smelled of the shampoo Alex had brought over the previous day and it made him feel happy that Lewis was using it.
It was so boringly domestic and Alex loved it.
Sitting up Lewis rubbed his eyes and turned around to give Alex a quick kiss. Looking at the clock that sat by their bedside Lewis read 2:45.
"So what's keeping you up?" he asked Alex.
Shrugging his shoulders Alex leaned his back against the headboard "Just a lot of stuff running through my head"
"Jackson" Lewis said "you can mention his name without me going into a panic, Alex"
"I know" Alex told him as he placed his hands on Lewis's hips and pulled him up so that the man was straddling Alex's waist. He could feel Lewis' cock, soft and long, lay against his thigh "it's just...it was a bad day and I really didn't want to bring it home"
"You consider this home?" Lewis smiled and suddenly Alex felt like he was in a panic.
"I mean no, well yeah but-...it's your place"
"Calm down, Alex" Lewis chuckled as he put a finger to the man's lips "I was just going to say I'm glad, because that's what I want this to be...for both of us"
Alex's heart felt like it had just started to beat again and with a grin Alex leaned up and gave Lewis a passionate kiss.
After the two kissed Lewis looked down at a breathless Alex "So this thing with Jackson?" he said "what happened?"
Guilt played across Alex's face "Dr. Robbins knows about Jackson" he said and the panic set in Lewis' eyes quickly.
"What?"
"It's okay" Alex tried to reassure him "she's not going to Hunt or anything. She wants to help him just as much as we do"
"That's still one more person, Alex" Lewis said "and one more chance to completely get out and derail Jackson completely"
"She saved my ass today" Alex told him "I let Jackson get to me again and if it hadn't been for her I would probably be looking for another job right now"
With a sigh Lewis swung his legs off Alex and laid down beside the man "I'm not upset at her or anything" Lewis said "you trust her so I trust her. It's just...the more people know the harder it's going to be to keep this under wraps until we can fix it"
"Can we fix it?"
Looking at Alex the man could see the doubt in Lewis' eyes "I hope so" he told him "I'm not going to fail Jackson again. I've been doing that his whole life and if it takes me locking him up in a room for three months until he gets it all out of his system I'll do it"
"That may be a little drastic" Alex chuckled "but I get the message"
Lewis gave Alex a smile that warmed his heart "So what happened with Jackson?"
"Your brother doesn't lack a sharp tongue" Alex told him "he was upset that Dr. Robbins had tricked him into coming for a fake consult and I tried to play buffer and well...he knows me well enough to know what sets me off"
"Yeah" Lewis said "Jackson has always been good at hitting people where it hurt without ever lifting a finger"
"I just.. I need to learn how to let that stuff roll off my back" Alex responded.
"It's hard" Lewis said "I-"
"What?" Alex asked once he noticed Lewis had stopped mid-sentence.
Taking a deep breath Lewis looked at Alex "I actually went to see Jackson and Tyler a few years after calling off the wedding"
"Really?" Alex asked, his mind suddenly hyper-focused "What happened?"
"They had moved to New York together and Jackson had just started medical school" Lewis told Alex "I knew it was a mistake the moment I stepped off the plane and tracked down their apartment, but I had heard how well Jackson and he were doing and I was just...livid"
Alex could hear the regret in Lewis' voice, but he remained quiet as the man continued.
"They had an apartment in Manhattan. It wasn't huge, but it was nice and what with Tyler having a job at the hospital and Jackson getting money from mom again they looked to be doing well, but once I got to the apartment it was just Jackson there" Lewis started to fiddle with the blankets that sat under his legs "I'm not sure what I expected, but when he answered the door he was happy. All smiles and content. His life was going great while I was still struggling to hold a relationship together for more than a week"
"You thought it was unfair" Alex offered "after what happened"
Shaking his head Lewis looked down "Jackson was cooking Tyler dinner and after the shock he had invited me in and even asked if I wanted to stay to eat" Lewis looked over at Alex again "it felt so damn patronizing. My little brother had everything that I once had and then was offering me some kind of pity invitation to, what I thought, rub my nose in it"
"What did you do?" Alex asked.
"I attacked him" Lewis said "almost broke his nose right there in the living room. I was a fucking monster" Alex could see Lewis' hand shaking and grabbing onto it he held it firm.
Lewis gripped back as he continued "The worst part of it was he just took it" Lewis said "he tried to cover his face, but he never swung back...not once...and it only made me angrier"
"He thought he deserved it" Alex whispered.
"He didn't deserve it" Lewis said as tears welled up in his eyes "he didn't deserve what I did to him, but he kept saying he was sorry over and over again. When Tyler had come home he pulled me off and the moment he saw Jackson's face he threw me out. Told me he better never see me at their house again and I didn't think anything could hurt as bad as the moment I caught them in bed, but that did and instead of realizing how fucked-up I was I put that blame on Jackson again. I convinced myself that it was his fault that I was the way I was"
Alex could feel his own eyes start to mist over as he pulled Lewis close and gave him a kiss "It's okay" he whispered "you aren't that man anymore"
"Really?" Lewis asked Alex "Because seven months ago I heard how well Jackson was doing and those same feelings came back. The same anger and resentment sent me here, because once again I was living in a one bedroom apartment unable to keep a relationship and our mother was saying how well Jackson was doing and how proud she was of him. I came here to take that away and look where he's at. Alone and trying to just keep his head above water. I've completely destroyed him, Alex"
"Look at me, Lewis" Alex said as he grabbed the man's face and forced him to look Alex in the eyes "You could have cut and run the moment you found out about Jackson's drug use. You could have gone back to Boston and been satisfied that Jackson was exactly where you wanted him to be, but you're here and you're determined to make him better. That tells me you're a good man even if you don't believe it"
Lewis looked at him and touched his forehead to Alex's "I don't deserve you" he said.
With a smile Alex kissed him "We deserve each other" he told Lewis and Alex was going to make the man see that.
April Kepner POV:
April was happy that she finally, finally was able to leave the hospital. She still had to take it very slow - as far as Doctor Hemsfield told her. And that she needed to be very careful. She was out of danger of losing her baby for the moment, but too much stress could always cause new complications and April didn't want to risk that. She wanted that baby, and if that fact hadn't been clear to her head so far, it definitely was now. With or without Alex, she would have this baby, and she would do everything for it to have a good life. She just hoped this life would include Alex in some way.
She wanted her baby to know it's father, wanted Alex to be a part of him or her growing up.
Gently, April caressed her stomach as she made her way towards the hospital entrance when she heard a familiar voice calling out her name.
"Dr. Kepner, wait! I need to talk to you!"
Quickly, April turned around only to see Chief Hunt making his way towards her.
"Good evening, Dr. Hunt. Everything okay?" she asked curiously.
A small smile appeared on Owen's lips. "That's actually exactly what I wanted to ask you, Dr. Kepner."
Nodding her head, April looked up at him. "I'm okay... I just got released and I can be back at work by tomorrow morning."
"I actually don't think that's a pretty good idea..." Owen replied immediately, looking at her, concerned. "Maybe it would be for the best if you stay at home until after the baby is born."
"Are you trying to tell me I'm fired? Again?" April asked, shocked. "I thought... I thought we're over this... I thought I could stay here..."
Owen placed a hand on April's shoulder, gently stroking it. "No, no, of course not, calm down." he tried to comfort her. "It's not that... I just heard from Dr. Hemsfield that there have been complications with your pregnancy, and that you shouldn't have all too much stress the next couple of months... and I don't know how this is going to work with you being around here... you know how stressful our job is... there could always be emergencies and I need people I can rely on a hundred percent."
"But you can rely on me a hundred percent. Please, Chief Hunt. Don't do that to me... I need to work. I need to keep myself busy. I need to focus on other things than my pregnancy." April was about to start crying every moment. She could already feel the tears welling up in her eyes.
"I'm afraid I have no other choice... I'm sorry, Kepner... but as soon as the baby is born and you're up for it, you're free to come back. See it as a paid vacation, because of course I will keep paying you." Owen replied and then he turned around and left. Left April standing there like he wouldn't care. And he probably didn't.
April took a few deep breathes to calm down, but it didn't work. She felt desperate and afraid to lose her job after all, even though Hunt said otherwise, but he could always change his mind if he found someone better.
Slowly, she made her way out of the hospital and got in a cab, telling the driver Meredith's address. She hoped Meredith would be there to comfort her, because she just needed a friend right now. Desperately.
She was just about to enter the house with her key when she heard two people screaming at each other. Meredith and Derek, obviously. A desperate sigh left her lips. Okay. So much for finding some comfort in her friends. She didn't know what to do or where to go. She had no place to go besides Alex, who most likely was with Lewis and she didn't want to disturb them or Jackson, who most likely was either working or at home.
She took out her mobile phone and dialled Jackson's number, but she got directly to voicemail, ending the call without leaving a message.
Maybe she could get past Derek and Meredith without them noticing her, so she could get to her room and have some alone time. She just needed silence right now, so she could think what to do now.
When April was about to enter the living room, Meredith rushed past her and leaving the house through the front door without even taking notice of her. She was so busy with herself, that everything else seemed to have just vanished and for a moment there April thought she should go after her but when she turned around she faced Derek who was standing in front of her all of a sudden.
"April... hey... haven't heard you coming..."
"Nice to see you, too..." April replied sarcastically, feeling sorry almost a second later when she saw the pained look in Derek's eyes.
"I'm... I'm sorry, I just... I got in a fight with Meredith and I don't know what to do anymore..." He looked down at his feet, seeming really lost. "Fortunately, Zola is with Arizona and Callie for the night, because they thought Sofia could need some company."
"What happened?" April asked, offering some comfort by placing a hand on Derek's shoulder and making him look at her again.
"It's just... She most likely is in love with someone else, and I have no idea how to fix it..." Derek sighed, looking around and noticing just then that they were still standing in the hallway.
April swallowed hard. She had already suspected something like that, and she had absolutely no clue what to say or do to make it better. If Meredith was really in love with this Michael guy, there was nothing anyone could do to change that, but she actually wasn't totally sure about that. Maybe it was just a harmless crush? Like she had one on Derek what felt like years ago now.
"Why don't we sit down in the living room for a moment, huh?" April asked, giving Derek a sympathetic smile. "If you need someone to talk, I'll listen..."
Derek gave her a weak smile in reply. "You know what's funny? That I should be the one comforting you after all that happened in the past few weeks, but yet you're here and offering me to talk to you."
"That's what friends are for... right?" April replied, following Derek into the living room and sitting down on the sofa.
"I don't think I've been a really good friend to you lately..." Derek sighed, looking really guilty when he said that.
"It's okay... there's a lot going on at the moment... for all of us..." April leaned back against the sofa and closed her eyes. "But at least you still have a job waiting for you."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that..." Derek gave back. "Michael Holt does everything to keep my job, but wait... what did you just say?" He looked at April wide-eyed. "Don't tell me Owen fired you again?"
"Not exactly..." April said, feeling the desperation coming back immediately. "He told me to take it slow until after the baby is born. Not to come back to work until then..." Biting her lower lip, she fisted her hands. "But I... I don't know what to do with myself the whole day if I can't go to the hospital. I think I'll go crazy staying at home all day and waiting for something to happen..."
Tears were running down her face now and she felt Derek's arms capturing her in a tight embrace.
"Shhhht..." he whispered, caressing her arm and back, and April couldn't do anything else besides clinging to him and crying silently into his shirt.
"I need to work... I need to distract myself from Alex and everything else... and now he takes everything away from me..." she sobbed, just leaning into Derek's embrace even more.
"I can talk to him, if you want... I mean, he's still my friend and I might be able to do something for you..." Derek said.
Hopefully, April looked up at him. "You think so?"
"I'm sure we can find some sort of agreement..." Derek replied with an encouraging smile. "I mean, I get that he doesn't want you to work in the ER or anything like that, but you could... I don't know... do some paperwork or work in some other section where there are barely any emergencies."
"You would really do that for me?" April smiled.
"Of course... that's what friends are for, right? And it's the least I can do..." Derek said softly.
"Thank you!" Enthusiastically, April threw her arms around Derek's neck and made him lose his balance by that, so he landed backwards on the couch and April above him. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said, pressing her lips on his and only a second later realizing what she was doing.
"Oh God, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She immediately got up, feeling her cheeks starting to burn. "I didn't mean to... I mean... it's probably... oh god, this is so embarrassing..."
"It's okay, April... don't worry... if anyone asks, this has never happened, okay?" Derek chuckled, and it made the whole situation so much easier for April.
"Thank you again, Derek. I don't know what to say... I owe you one... or two..."
"Thank me once the deal's done, okay? But I promise I'll do anything so Owen gives you your job back... or something to do, because I know exactly how you feel..." Derek replied. "But at least I have Zola to keep me busy. I think I would have gone already crazy if she wasn't there..."
April nodded understandingly. She never expected to find a friend in Derek of all people, but he had been there for her more often than Meredith over the past few weeks and she was thankful for that. And now he would even help her to convince Owen that she was still capable of doing some work. She would never understand what Meredith saw in Holt, having a man like Derek at home waiting for her, because he was just really a great guy.