A/N: I googled 'emo cat names' and October came up and I had to use it cause I thought it was just so cute n clever lmao. Also sorry this is literally three months late I know his birthday was in june i promise I started writing it then guys work with me here

(Also there's way too much texting, I know, I'm sorry.) Special thanks to my beta on ao3, newyearsevebaby02, and my FFN beta you-could-in-new-hampshire!

Baz's laugh rings out off-screen as the unseen man pans the camera over to Simon, who's frowning exaggeratedly while dragging a brush through his hair. He stops to look exasperatedly at the camera before whining,

"Baz, do something!"

"Like what? Perform an exorcism?" Baz snorts, still holding the camera. "'Cause that's the only way we're fixing this mess."

Simon wants to be mad at the insinuation that his hair was so bad it must be possessed, but he finds himself laughing instead.

"You're the worst," he chuckles, and Baz turns off the camera.

"So, Baz says wrapping his arms around Simon's neck and hugging him from the back. "I was thinking, I have to go house-sit for my aunt this weekend, and since it's your birthday's coming up next week, I thought you might like to come with as a kind of early celebration."

Baz looks into Simon's eyes from the mirror, and Simon smiles reassuringly before Baz can get the wrong idea. Simon knew Baz was very observant when it came to facial expressions and emotions, but SImon also knew that Baz was quick to jump to conclusions.

Simon had been with Baz long enough to know when he was nervous, and the fact the Baz was so obviously searching for his reaction was a big clue.

He stops his brushing to pat Baz on the back. It's a little awkward in their current position, but he makes it work.

"Of course, you know I'd love to come," Simon says reassuringly. He pauses before continuing. "You don't have to stress so much, you know?"

Baz's face turns pink, though he'd deny it if you asked. "You could tell?"

Simon smiles. "I can always tell."

"…That's terrifying."

"So what do I need to bring to your aunt's house?" Simon asks, hopping onto the counter and making himself comfortable.

They were now a day away from their trip to Baz's aunt's house, and although Simon played confident around people, he wasn't always the best at dealing with new situations, and he was kind of freaking out internally.

"Just bring a swimsuit and whatever you need for an overnight trip," Baz says from his spot looking under the counter for something. "We'll leave as soon as my aunt gets home on Saturday."

"You know you have to get down if a customer comes in, right?" Baz asks amusedly, holding a spray bottle and a rag.

"What? I thought I was this location's mascot by now for sure," Simon joked, scooting over so Baz could clean.

"Well, you're definitely here enough to be considered for the part," Levi calls from the back where he was organizing the merchandise, and Baz twinges with annoyance.

"Stop eavesdropping, Levi, or get your own boyfriend to talk to."

"Come on, now, Pitch, you don't own Simon's conversations," Levi points out good-naturedly (and literally, with a finger-gun), a grin ever-present on his tan face. "Besides, it would be cruel to leave Cather in pursuit of a boyfriend just to so I could get some more talking in."

Baz doesn't say anything; he's not annoyed anymore. He may lose his temper or raise his voice from time to time, but one thing he prided himself on was his ability to calm himself down fairly quickly.

"So, Simon wanna taste test a new drink we've got?" Levi asks suddenly, already grabbing a clean blender cup without waiting for an answer.

"Absolutely," Simon replies, turning himself around on the counter to watch the process.

Baz, finished with his cleaning, hops up to sit next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

"It's a, um, special mixture…" Levi says distractedly, and Simon's brows furrow in confusion. Levi was hardly ever at a loss for what to say.

"Right," Baz jumps in. "If it's the one I'm thinking of, you're in for a surprise."

"Is this that unicorn thing?" Simon asks, suddenly interested. "I thought that ended months ago."

"It did. This is different," Baz replies as he reaches into his pocket for his phone.

"Hello, everyone, my name is Baz, and I'm here with Simon…" Simon waves, "At work, and Levi is currently making him a surprise drink."

Baz points the camera at Levi, who holds up a cup with a light brown drink in it and whipped cream on top.

"I actually just finished, Basilton," Levi says with a proud grin. "Drink up, Simon."

Simon takes the cup and obliges, always up for free drinks. However, he spits it out almost immediately into the sink beside him.

"What was that?!" He asks, voice climbing higher. He whips over to face Baz. "Did you know it was gross?!"

Baz laughs, shaking the camera.

"Yes, I knew, sorry, Simon." Baz's apology doesn't seem to make Simon feel any better; the laughter probably nulled it affects pretty well.

"For those of you at home, that was an iced green tea latte, which would normally be bright green, but I put a little food coloring in it so our poor Simon here wouldn't suspect anything," Levi says to the camera.

"It's pretty nasty," Baz says, and Simon, who had apparently forgiven him, pipes back up.

"Isn't it you guy's jobs to promote this stuff?" He asks good-naturedly.

"Promote, sure, not lie through our teeth," Baz laughs.

"Wow, that's shady," Simon comments, and then frowns at the disgusting drink in his hand. "...I don't have to pay or this shit, right?"

Simon420: Hey

Simon420: Wanna play a game?

Baz looks at his phone, which was sitting on his nightstand and currently illuminating his whole room.

Baz: Simon it's two in the morning why are you awake

Simon420: I could ask you the same thing

Baz: No you couldn't I was trying to sleep!

Simon420: Ohh sorry

There's a pause. Simon's 'typing' bubble disappeared, then reappeared.

Simon420: Do you want me to leave you alone?

Baz: No, I'm awake now. What game?

Simon420: It's like truth or dare but without the dare cause I dont feel like getting up

Baz: Nice. I'll play

Simon420: Cool I'll start

Simon420: Here's an easy one

Simon420: What's your middle name?

Baz: Um

Baz: How many passes do you get with this game?

Simon420: NONE come on dude it's the first question

Simon420: You know if you don't tell me I'm just gonna google you right

Baz: Fine do it then

Baz: Here's my question

Baz: Have you ever actually smoked weed? Cause if you haven't I think you've definitely appropriated weed culture by now

Simon420: Okay first weed culture isn't a thing so shut it

Simon420: And second, no I have not

Simon420: You?

Baz: Well

Simon420: You have! Wow edgy teen alert

Baz: Shut up it's fun

Baz lays the phone on his chest and closes his eyes as he waits for a reply. A couple minutes later, he gets one.

Simon420: Oh my god I just googled you

Simon420: And first you're killing it in your wiki pic good job

Simon420: But what the fuck kind of name is Tyrannus Basilton Pitch III

Simon420: Wait are you royalty? Are you that nigerian prince in my spam emails

Baz grins into the darkness, rolling his eyes in amusement.

Baz: Oh my god no

Baz: I'm not royalty, it's obviously a family name

Baz: why are you like this

Simon420: Look, it never hurts to check

Simon420: Your turn btw

Baz: okay um

Baz: worst movie you've ever seen?

Simon420: Passengers, 1000%

Simon420: I thought it'd be a cool space battle and instead I got a two hour long explanation of Stockholm syndrome

Simon420: hbu?

Baz: I mean, I've never seen it

Baz: but we all know the emoji movie sucked

Simon420: !

Simon420: whAT no that movie was gold leave my child alone

Baz: I seriously hope you're saying that ironically

Baz: it doesn't even have a real name dude wtf

There's another pause, and Baz is worried about what Simon could possibly be doing. A good couple of minutes later, he has his answer.

Looking down at his phone, Baz sees what is apparently Simon's attempt at communicating exclusively through emojis.

The gist was that emojis were good (phone emoji and a thumbs up emoji from Simon) and vlogging vampires sucked (camera emoji, blood drop emoji, middle finger emoji.)

Baz: Look buddy I have a high tolerance for annoying. I work at starbucks for gods sake

Baz: You don't get through pumpkin spice season without a poker face made of steel

Simon420: Oh yeah. Damn it

Simon420: I thought that'd annoy you

Baz: Nope, you're gonna have to try harder than that

Baz: We should really go to bed now

Simon420: What are you the bedtime police

Baz: Simon, for real. Go to bed. You don't need to be grumpy for our trip tomorrow

Simon420: Okay, okay. Goodnight. See you tomorrow.

Baz: Goodnight. See you.

"Okay, I'd totally be Harry if we lived in the wizarding world, right?" Simon asks conversationally.

They had been driving for a grand total of two minutes, and apparently Simon was already bored and trying to spice things up with an argument.

"Isn't the strongest wizard usually the hero?" Baz asks coolly.

"Well, yeah, but I'm the strongest one of us that isn't an evil vampire so…" Simon looks at his nails in a 'sorry-I-don't-make-the-rules' kind of way.

"…Get your feet off my dash."

Simon complies with a grin. "Face it, you're definitely the Draco Malfoy type. You and the snake house would get along great."

"Well, I suppose I could do a whole lot worse than Slytherin," Baz says with a smirk. "After all, I could be in Gryffindor, like you and Harry, poor sap."

"Hey, Gryffindor is cool!" Simon says, defensively patriotic in the way only a Harry Potter house can drag out of a person. "A lion could could step on a snake, no problem."

"How many snakebites can a lion withstand, I wonder?" Baz asks rhetorically, tilting his head, and knowing Simon wouldn't have an answer.

"Some! None. I don't know." Simon sinks into his chair, defeated.

Baz hums contentedly. The argument he had just won was completely pointless, sure, and could hardly be counted as a real argument, but Baz would be lying if he said he didn't love being right.

"Where's your camera?" Simon asks suddenly, tilting his head. "You always vlog when you do something interesting."

Baz shrugs. "I thought it'd be rude to exploit your birthday for views so I left it at home."

"What! No!" Simon protests. "I wanted you to film it! It'd be fun to look back on later!"

"You should film it then," Baz suggests, stopping at a red light. He turns to look at Simon. "Your phone camera isn't as good as a vlogging one, but it'll get the job done."

Simon thinks about it for a second. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

He pulls his phone out from his pocket and pulls up the camera app. "I've never really vlogged before though, so don't make fun of me if I do it wrong."

"Alright," Baz agrees, returning his focus to the road. "But I don't think you'll have much of a problem."

"'Ello, e'ryone, it Si'on Snow, an' today Bay'z teachin' me 'ow tah vlog," Simon starts with a grin. He turns to Baz. "How's my accent?"

"...Wonderful."

Several bad renditions of Taylor Swift songs later (Simon couldn't remember if it was 'starring in' or 'startin' up your bad dreams') Baz pulls into a 7/11 parking lot and they get out, stretching their legs.

"Good old E-Z Mart," Simon says nostalgically, filming as Baz opens the door for him. "I've gotten many an after-school snack from here."

"Hm," Baz says, making his way to the chip aisle. "I thought your go-to snack was cheese balls?"

"Well, yeah, food-wise," Simon agrees. "You know me so well. But no, I was talking about the slushies!"

"What slushies?" Baz asks, confusedly, and Simon gasps.

"I forgot you've never been in here!" He grabs Baz's arm and practically drags him across the store to the drink side and hands Baz a cup and a lid.

"Alright, pick your flavor," Simon says.

"Um, blue," Baz responds, starting to fill the cup.

"Wait!" Simon says when the cup is half full, and Baz freezes. "Now the other one."

"You want me to mix them?" Baz asks, scandalized.

Simon nods solemnly. "You have to. It's a rule."

"I find that hard to believe," Baz replies dryly. "But fine."

Slushies made 'correctly' Simon and Baz pay and make their way out of the store.

"So how was your first E-Z Mart experience?" Simon asks, facing the camera towards Baz.

Baz stops sipping long enough to reply. "Um… six out of ten gas station slushies."

Simon laughs before stopping the camera.

When they walk in the door, Simon takes in the decor and nods approvingly at a collection of plates with birds painted onto them and posed neatly on a shelf.

"Kingfishers. Nice."

Baz gives him an 'of course you'd know that' kind of stare before setting his bag down on the kitchen table. An orange, black, and white-patched cat hops onto the table as well, and Baz scratches it behind the ears momentarily as Simon makes his way over.

"Who's this?" Simon asks, grinning, reaching out his hand to pet the cat as well.

"This is October," Baz introduces them seriously. "October, this is Simon. Be nice to him."

"Why October?" Simon asks, curious. "Your birthday's in September, I think."

"It is. We've all had our emo phase,' Baz explains darkly. "Some just express theirs in strange ways."

"Like though the naming of their cat?"

Baz points. "Exactly."

Suddenly, Simon lets out a loud sneeze, and October, spooked, hops off the table.\

"Wait, October, come back and get in my vlog!" Simon exclaims, grabbing his camera and chasing after it. "Pets are great clickbait!"

Later, when they're two episodes of Game of Thrones in, Simon's sneezes come once every five minutes, and every so often a tear would run down his face from his irritated eyes.

"Okay, what's going on?" Baz asks alarmedly when he notices, putting his hand under Simon's chin to get a better look.

"I'm- Well, I'm kind of allergic to animals," Simon admits, slowly, and Baz looks horrified.

"Why didn't you say that? I would have put October outside!"

"It's not like I'll die or anything! And I love animals, allergies can't stop me." He sneezes three more times, and Baz just looks at him, at a loss for words.

"...I can't believe the things you think are a good idea sometimes," Baz says, hitting the play button.

"Some might call that the mark of a genius," Simon says, grinning proudly.

"Not I," Baz replies. "I call it foolishness."

"An endearing foolishness?"

Baz laughs and wraps his arm around Simon. "Sure."

Before they new it, the burning part of the day was over, and Simon and Baz could safely make their way out to the pool (with sunscreen, of course,) and Simon couldn't have been more excited.

They walk out, hand in hand, the sun warming their faces, and Baz takes a mental snapshot so he can remember the moment forever.

Baz feels a pang of disappointment when Simon suddenly pulls his hand away, but it quickly fades when he sees Simon start to size up the pool for a jump.

"You ready for this?" he asks excitedly, reminding Baz of a hyper child.

Simon starts backing up for a running head-start; Baz is suddenly more than a little nervous for his well-being. But before Baz could say anything, Simon had began running and jumped into the pool, making the biggest splash Baz had ever seen.

Baz slowly approaches the pool, looking down, trying to make sure Simon didn't hurt himself. But suddenly (with another great splash) Simon pops out of the water, scaring Baz enough to make him jump.

"That was awesome, right?" he laughs, wiping water from his eyes enough to open them. "Oh. Did I surprise you?"

Baz tries to smile. "A little," he admits.

"Sorry. I'll give more warning next time. Now come on in!" Baz had sat down when Simon surfaced, with his feet and legs in the water. Simon grabbed his arm and yanked him into the pool with another laugh.

"Hey!" Baz exclaims when he resurfaces, shaking his hair like a dog. "Didn't you just agree to give me more of a warning?"

He shoves Simon down underwater for a moment, and he's suddenly reminded of the way he and his siblings used to have arguments just like this. Simon comes up, grinning, no remorse apparent on his face.

"Okay, okay! You drive a hard bargain, pardner," he laughs, talking in an exaggerated accent. "But for real. Warnings. Got it." He taps his head with his finger in a 'remembering' motion.

Simon makes his way out of the pool again, and stands on the table next to the pool.

"Bet I can't do a double front flip?" He asks confidently.

Baz's eyes bug. "Simon! You'll hit your head!"

"Wot are ye, me mum?" Simon asks, impersonating Baz's accent. "Just make sure you film it in case I die."

"Don't say that!" Baz exclaims, but gets out to grab Simon's phone anyways.

When Baz's in position, Simon takes his jump, but only manages one flip.

"Ooh, better luck next time," Baz tells him when he surfaces, and Simon pouts.

"Come on, that was still impressive, right?"

"Nope, sorry. I was promised a double front-flip, and a double front-flip that was not," Baz teases.

"Tough crowd," Simon tells the camera dryly, taking his phone back from Baz.

When it starts getting dark, Simon and Baz retire from the pool.

Baz starts setting up a fire in the fire pit, and Simon sits on a pool chair and watches. "What does your aunt do that she can afford such cool stuff?"

"Ha," Baz says, in a falsely amused tone. "Nothing. It's family money, been around for generations. She only works when she feels like it."

"Oh. Cool," Simon says, because he's really not sure what to say to that.

"I've got to feed the animals and water the plants now," Baz says after a moment, breaking the silence, and Simon is inwardly grateful.

"Oh, yeah," Simon says, craking a smile. "The whole reason we're here!"

Baz smiles back. "Yeah. Care to join me? It'd go faster if I were having fun doing it."

"Dude, you had me at 'feeding animals.' I'm so in"

Baz introduces Simon to each of his aunt's exotic pets and plants individually (cautiously, after the little allergies stunt Simon pulled with October earlier) and after each one Simon finds himself growing a little more attached.

"Baz, she's so cute, I'm gonna cry," Simon says, in reference to Baz's aunt's parakeet, Petunia. Petunia's feathers were many different pastel shades, all blended together like a splendid Monet painting, and although Simon wasn't much of an artists, he could appreciate beauty in all it's forms.

"Simon, that's the third time you've said that," Baz states amusedly, watering a plant in the corner of the room. "You even said it about the pufferfish."

"Yeah, because Fluffy was beautiful, and she deserves the world," Simon replies haughtily, and Baz just returns to his watering, deciding he'd rather let it go, no matter how wrong Simon was about his aunt's one-eyed pet.

"Alright, I think that just about does it," BAz says, surveying the room. It was the last one they'd had to do, and it appeared now that the chores were done.

Simon woefully says goodbye to the parakeets, and he and Baz make their way back upstairs to get ready and go to bed.

Baz's aunt arrives home at three in the morning, effectively scaring the hell out of a sleeping Simon and Baz, so later that morning (at a much more acceptable time to be awake) Baz and Simon say their goodbyes.

"Goodbye, Aunt Fiona. I'll come visit again soon," Baz says, tightly, and Simon gets the impression that formalities were much more prominent in Baz's household than his own.

Not that he was paying too much attention to them, of course. He had a cat to say goodbye to.

"Bye, October," Simon whispers, holding his camera in one hand and petting the cat with the other. "It's been fun, bud."

The cat meows and jumps off the table again.

"Damn it, October."

Simon puts his phone away and makes his way back over to where Baz and his aunt had finished their goodbyes.

"Goodbye, Simon. It was nice to meet you," Fiona says shortly.

"It was nice to meet you, too," Simon replies back, as friendly as he could. He puts his hand out for her to shake, and to his relief, she actually takes it.

As soon as Simon and Baz are out the door and on their way out to the car, Simon turns to Baz and says, "I think that went well."

Baz laughs. "Yeah, I think so, too."

They start the drive home, and it's more or less quiet, save for the sound of the Moana movie track, which Simon had so graciously put on. It stays that way until they're about two hours out from home, and Simon spots a really shady looking pie… stand? On the side of the road.

"Simon, if we stop here we're gonna get murdered," Baz argues, brows furrowing.

"No we won't, Baz, look, he has a sign. Serial killers don't put up pie signs," they make eye contact. Simon raises his eyebrows. "They just don't."

Baz lets out a colossal sigh, but Simon already knows he's won (whether it be from logic or the Legally Blonde quote, however, the world may never know.)

"Fine," Baz huffs as he pulls into the dirt lot. "Let's go get murdered."

"Hey," Simon says, smiling at the old man sitting behind the white fold-out table. "Do you have cherry?"

"Actually," the guy responds, pulling out a pie box, "That's all I have."

"Okay, then, sounds great," Simon responds with another smile, trading the pie for a ten dollar bill. The guy hands Simon his change and two plastic forks, and before they know it, they're on the road again.

"See? We're still alive," Simon states, happily shoveling pie into his mouth, and Baz grimaces.

"Yeah, this time," he replies.

"Aw, don't be such a Debbie Downer," Simon coos, and Baz just looks at him pointedly. "Here, have some pie. That'll cheer you up."

Baz accepts the pie (Simon feeds it to him while he drives) and between discussions about hot YouTube trends and twitter, they finish the pie within the hour.

By then, it's after dark, and neither of them are talking anymore. The only sound is the quiet music dancing on the radio, and the atmosphere of the car is peaceful and content.

Baz thinks SImon is just staring out the window; however, when he actually glances over to check, he laughs at what he sees.

Simon is asleep, face squashed against the glass, and Baz wishes he weren't driving so he could take a picture to remember it.

Baz wanders the streets around the area where he thinks Simon's apartment might be for 10 minutes before deciding to just give up. It was too late to call Penny as well. Baz cuts through the streets until he gets to his own, and parks in the designated garage and carries their two suitcases in before returning back for Simon himself.

Simon's not light, but Baz isn't weak, so the trip goes more or less without a hitch. (Luckily, though, Baz's apartment isn't far from the garage, or the trip might not have gone as smoothly as it did.)

Baz's apartment is too small for a guest room, so Baz tucks Simon into his own bed, wondering why on Earth he was such a deep sleeper.

Baz stands over him for a moment after, however, considering his options. His bed wasn't quite big enough to fit both of them with space between them, which normally wouldn't be a problem but it seemed rude to Baz to squish both of them on the bed together when there was a perfectly good couch in the living room…

Fine then, Baz thinks. Let no one say I'm not a gentleman.

Neither of the boys are early risers. Even though Baz stayed up later, however, he still managed to wake up before Simon, the Human Sleep Machine.

Baz wasn't big on breakfast, normally, but

"What do Texans eat for breakfast?" Baz wonders to himself, out loud. A quick google search tells him about something called 'grits,' and Baz says 'fuck it' to that idea all together.

Baz decides to stick with something he'd made successfully himself a whole two times prior: scones.

A true British classic, Baz thinks to himself, and sets off to work.

Simon wakes up to the smell of something burning.

It's faint, so he doesn't recognize it right away; he's more concerned with the bed he's sleeping in (the one that's not his own) and the absence of his vampiric-looking boyfriend.

Arching his back, Simon frees himself from the light pink sheets and runs a hand through his hair, reminding him to check his appearance before making an entrance.

With a quick glance in the mirror above the desk before he made his way out, Simon hurries to Baz's kitchen.

As it turns out, Baz's scones were not meant to be.

He still wasn't quite sure where he'd gone wrong- he'd followed the directions as best he could- but something had, apparently, gone very wrong, and now his scones were more scorched.

Simon's voice comes from the doorway.

"What's burning?"

"...My scones."

"Dude, the fuck, I thought you were British? Where's the scone skills?" Simon asks with a laugh coloring his voice.

"Do I look like fucking Delia Smith to you, Snow?" Baz asks back, balancing a large bowl on one knee while attempting to stir what was left of the scone batter.

There was a confused silence on Simon's end.

"Who?"

"Oh my god. Chef, writer, TV star? None of that rings a bell?"

"Oh, like british Martha Stewart?"

Baz looks deeply offended, then conciliatory. "I guess."

Deciding to let it go, Baz starts something new, the ultimate fail-safe: pancakes. No one could screw that up, right? He pours the batters into a circle on the pan, and stands over it with a spatula, watching intently.

"Okay, step aside, Mr. McBurns-A-Lot, it's time for Simon Snow, pancake master to impart some expertise," Simon says with a grin, sliding in his socks to a stop in front of the stove. "You just… take some chocolate chips…"

Simon drops chocolate chips into the cooking pancake and covers them with batter on his fingers. After a few minutes, he flips the pancake onto the plate, and hands it to Baz with a fork.

"Just like that? No syrup?" Baz asks.

"Don't need it," Simon replies confidently, and Baz skeptically takes a bite.

Simon was right; the pancake was definitely sweet enough on it's own, and it tasted good, at least once Baz got past the feeling of a dry pancake, that is.

Simon examines his face, scanning for approval.

"I like it, Simon, pancake master," Baz admits with a smile.

Simon pumps his fist. "Hell yeah! Pancake master!"

Simon and Baz sit down to a breakfast of pancakes and laughter, and Baz can't help but think about how happy he was that this dork had walked into his life.

A/N: Thanks again to my betas, newyearsevebaby02 and you-could-in-new-hampshire, and thank you for reading!

P.S. I made fanart (Yes for my own story) for chapter 7 and it's on my tumblr if you wanna see: www. tumblr blog/ kaigoryu. Just take out the spaces :)