A/N: So… here's chapter 56… finally… I'm so sorry it took me so long to post it, but I've a lot of trouble in real life right now and I just had other things on my mind than that. Please forgive me. I haven't forgotten about the story, I just didn't have the time to really update… I hope, it'll be better soon and I'll have more time on my hands…
Anyways: Enjoy Chapter 56!
Mark Sloan POV:
Mark just couldn't let go. He knew he had promised Sasha and even Addison to try and be nicer to Alex, and he really had tried. He was still trying, but whenever he saw him, all the anger and madness came bubbling up again. He just couldn't deal with the fact that Alex and his little group of friends were responsible for the fact that Jackson was gone now.
Knowing that he was okay made it only slightly better because he still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that Jackson might never come back. It killed him from the inside.
He missed him so much and he knew he would be going crazy without him. It was like Jackson had ripped out a piece of his heart and had taken it with him, and no matter where he was, it would always be with him and Mark would never be able to be really happy again without him.
He had never thought that was possible, especially considering the fact that he once thought Addison was the love of his life. He had never thought he could be happy after her, but he was. With Lexie. And after Lexie he had almost lost hope to ever find something like that again, but with Jackson it was just... different. Mark didn't think he could ever love someone the way he loved Jackson ever again. Not getting him back was something he rather just denied.
And most of the time he did.
But Karev... working with him... was something like a daily reminder of what he had lost.
And that wasn't even Karev's fault, because he had requested him. Alex would still be working with Arizona, if he hadn't wanted him on his service, but by now he was asking himself if that had really been the right thing to do.
Listening to Alex' words, listening to all the things he and Lewis - especially Lewis - had done to Jackson made him despise the guy, even though he didn't want to.
He was no angel of innocence himself, and he knew that. He had done things he probably wouldn't forgive himself - like sleeping with his best friend's wife - but right now that didn't make anything better at all.
He was so focused on Alex that he hadn't even noticed Tyler until he heard him call his name.
He stared at him wide-eyed, not even able to say a single word and just following the conversation Alex and Tyler were having, until Alex left them alone and Tyler turned to him.
"What do you want, Browning?" he spat, crossing his arms above his chest. Tyler was one of the last people he wanted to see right now and him finding Alex and Mark in a situation like that was just something Mark didn't like very much at all.
"We're going to talk" Tyler gave back, causing Mark to raise an eyebrow.
"Says who?" Mark asked, looking at him suspiciously. "I don't think there is anything you and I have to discuss with each other. Why don't you go and find your little group of friends to talk to? Like you did all the times before? Like you did when you all went behind Jackson's back..."
"Mark..." Tyler started, but Mark cut him off immediately.
"I already told you, it's Doctor Sloan for you. We're not on first name base... Not anymore at least."
"Stop this!" Tyler replied, and he looked pretty angry, even though he had no right to be angry. At least not in Mark's eyes.
" . ?" he asked, emphasizing every single word. "I don't have time for your stupid games, so just tell me what you want so we can get over with it..."
"Like I said... I want to talk..." Tyler looked around, before looking back at Mark.
"I don't think you wanna do it here, where everyone can hear you, do you?"
Mark turned around, noticing a few nurses that were watching them and let out a sigh.
"There is no privacy in this hospital at all... come on..."
He literally dragged Tyler to one of the elevators and looked at him once the door opened. "Get in..."
He didn't even wait for his reply as he stepped in himself and when the doors closed, he pushed a button so the elevator started moving and then the button for the elevator to stop, turning to look at Tyler.
"Okay... that's the most private we can get... so talk."
"What is going on between you and Karev?" Tyler asked directly.
"Nothing. Nothing he can't take..." Mark replied without hesitation. "This is a thing between me and Karev."
"No, I don't think it is... I could hear you from miles away and if you go on treating him like that the whole hospital will know that something's off..." Tyler leaned against the wall, not looking away from Mark for a single second.
"So?" Mark raised an eyebrow. "I don't care."
"But I do... If you want to punish someone, you have to punish all of us, because nothing of this was on Alex alone. We did it together, and he doesn't deserve to be the one that has to pay for everything, the one to take the blame. It's not fair." Tyler commented.
Mark let out a laugh.
"Fair?" He shook his head. "Seriously... you have a nerve to tell me about fair. Have you thought about fair when you all decided to treat me like a little kid and keep me out of everything?"
"How long do you plan on reproaching us with this? We know we made a mistake by not telling you." Tyler said only to be interrupted by Mark once more.
"Yeah? And since when do you talk for the others, too?" Mark asked.
Tyler rolled his eyes. "Since you don't give them a chance to defend themselves... you won't talk to Lewis and as far as I've heard, you're not talking to Doctor Robbins either..."
"This is none of your business," Mark blurted out. "Arizona betrayed me the worst possible way... she is one of the mothers of my child and she went behind my back like that. She let me believe that Jackson moved on with his life... that he had a new boyfriend. You. Instead of just telling me the truth. You think THAT'S fair?"
Shaking his head, Mark took a step towards Tyler.
"You have no idea what was going on here before you arrived. You have no idea what they did to Jackson. What Holt did to Jackson and what Lewis did to him. How can you even be with someone like that?"
With a shocked expression, Tyler looked at him.
"What are you talking about?"
A small grin appeared on Mark's lips.
"Well... you should really be more careful if you fuck someone in this hospital. Things like that get out way too easy..."
He could see the colour drain from Tyler's face, knowing that he had hit the right nerve. It hadn't been more than a suspicion on his side. He hadn't seen or heard anything at all, but he had noticed the way the two guys acted around each other. The way they looked at each other, so he had connected the dots and he had obviously been right.
"You're a fucking hypocrite... and you're an egoist... both of you. You pretend to care for Alex but instead you're fucking his boyfriend behind his back. You pretend to care for Jackson and want him back, but you're way too busy to even look for him... it's more important to you to get your dick shoved into Lewis' ass..."
Mark knew he was crossing a line here. He knew he was going way too far, but he couldn't stop himself anymore. Now, where he obviously had some kind of advantage, he was going to use it.
"Leave me the fuck alone. What I'm doing with Alex is my business, and if you don't want him to find out what you two are doing behind his back, you better keep your mouth shut and forget what you have just witnessed."
Mark usually wasn't this evil. It was actually a side he hated. A side of him he had buried deep inside, but the more he suffered, the more it came back up. Like a protective barrier of his soul so no one would see the real Mark. He thought he would never become this person again, but that's what pain could do to a guy.
Tyler Browning POV:
Tyler stood across from Mark dumbfounded. The man couldn't believe he was in this position. Being threatened to do what Mark said or pay the price.
Tyler wondered if this was what Jackson felt with Holt for all that time. Being under somebody's thumb when you desperately wanted to lash out, but knowing that it would have an even worse consequence.
Tyler hated this. It made his skin feel hot with anger.
"Do you hear yourself Sloan?" Tyler asked "You sound like a damn lunatic."
"Says the guy who's been involved with two brothers and flew across the damn continent just to get a piece of ass"
"Watch your mouth" Tyler warned "you don't talk about Lewis that way"
"Look who has decided to step up" Mark laughed "not so fun hearing the man you love called a whore, is it?"
"He's not"
"Neither is Jackson, but you should hear some of the things Alex told me he got called from your precious Lewis" Mark said "I'll never understand how anyone can look at that man and find anything to love about him"
Tyler was going to punch him. He was going to punch Mark and then have Hunt rescind his offer and maybe it would be worth it. He couldn't let Mark just talk about Lewis that way and leave with all his teeth.
"You don't know their history" Tyler told Mark "you don't know what they've been through together"
"Yes, I do" Mark said "none of you may have been honest with me about much of anything, but Lewis did tell me one bit of truth. He told me about seeing you and Jackson together the night before he was supposed to marry you"
"It didn't happen" Tyler responded.
"I know it didn't" Mark told him "still didn't stop me from letting Jackson know I did believe it though. Lewis can be quite convincing when he wants to be"
"Lewis was mistaken and he did some pretty horrible things but-"
"I'm not here to listen to you excuse his behaviour" Mark said "we're done here, just do what I said and everything can remain kosher"
"Do you think Jackson would want to see you like this?" Tyler asked "So mean and angry?"
"You don't get to talk about Jackson to me. You don't have that right" Mark's voice bordered on rage and Tyler couldn't seem to quell his own increasing feeling.
"I have every right" Tyler told him "I have been through more with Jackson than you could ever even imagine. I'm not living the high life while he's gone. If I could get him back here and safe there is nothing I wouldn't give"
Narrowing his eyes Mark shot daggers at Tyler "I doubt that" he told Tyler "I think you would, and have, sold Jackson out to get in good with Lewis again"
Tyler's hand had flung out and he wrapped his hand around Mark's neck before he even knew what happened. Only Mark's startled eyes gave Tyler the indication that he had gone too far, but it was far too late to turn back.
"Don't you ever question my love or loyalty to Jackson. You may love him and I know you're hurting so I'm going to tell you that's the only time I'll let you get away with that"
Pushing Tyler's arm away from his neck he could see Mark looked somewhere in between furious and terrified. Tyler had been a violent youth, but as he had grown he had learned to curb that irrational side of himself. It had no place in the kind of world he lived in. That was saved for a time Tyler swore would never come around again. The only thing that made him react like that was the Avery brothers, or more accurately, people's treatment of them. He loved both men with a fierceness that was hard to contain sometimes and to have that questioned, for any reason, made him livid.
Pushing the button for the elevator to open Mark turned to leave, but not before looking at Tyler one last time "I told you what to do" he said "and if you ever put your hands on me again, Browning, you're going to lose it" and with that he walked out the elevator and down the hall before disappearing from Tyler's line of sight.
Tyler had fucked up so badly and he had no idea how he could possibly fix this. Lewis would be furious, not that he could even tell the man without letting him know what was happening to Alex and it was obviously something that Alex needed to tell Lewis himself.
Walking towards Lewis' office he thought that maybe he should just see the man before he went to Hunt's office. Tyler just needed to see his smile and he would be okay, he'd know everything would work out.
He was just about to knock on the man's door when he caught Lewis and Alex embracing one another, their lips in a passionate kiss.
Tyler could feel a sharp pain in his chest and it felt like it was going to burn its way right out of his body. He could see Alex's hand around Lewis' waist as Lewis' own hands were around the man's neck.
You would have never imagined Tyler was fucking Lewis a mere two hours ago.
He had to step away and get some air and as he nearly raced down the stairs and out the front doors he went around the building and leaned against the wall. He had taken long deep breaths to try and compose himself.
Lewis needed time to end things with Alex. Tyler knew this, so why did seeing the two together hurt so much?
He felt his cell-phone digging into his hip and tearing it out of his pocket he looked at it. Jackson's name had still been on the screen from when Tyler had called him earlier.
Tyler was pissed and he needed to vent. Opening up the phone he knew there was no way Jackson was going pick up, but Tyler didn't care.
This is Jackson, leave a message.
"Where are you at you son of a bitch?" Tyler asked angrily into the phone "I have been calling for days and after everything I have done for you the least you can do is pick up the fucking phone you little shit" Tyler couldn't stop his mouth or abate his anger "the people here who love you are falling apart, Mark is falling apart, but it doesn't matter to you does it? Not Jackson Avery who disappears without a trace and shows back up on our doorstep bloodied and drugged out of his mind. Do you have to be so goddamn selfish all the time? I know you're in New York and if I don't hear from you by the end of the week I'm coming there and I will bring you back here by force and you know me Jackson, you know I'll do it. Call me back" and with that he turned his phone off.
It took less then a second for Tyler to realize what he had just done. What in the hell was he thinking? He quickly dialled the phone back.
This is Jackson, leave a message.
"I'm so sorry, Jackson" Tyler said and he could hear his own voice crack with emotion "I didn't mean anything I said I...don't know what's going on man and I just need you here, okay? Can you please just call me? I don't know how much longer I'm going to last not knowing you're okay"
Turning off the phone he slid down the wall and buried his head in his knees. Why couldn't he do this? What was wrong with him?
He had been sitting there for close to 5 minutes when he felt his phone buzz. Taking it out he gasped when he saw it was a text from Jackson.
I'm okay
Nothing more from Jackson, but seeing it was enough to make Tyler bury his head in his knees once again and cry.
Jackson was okay.
Mark Sloan POV:
Once he had rounded the next corner after leaving the elevator, Mark leaned against the wall and took a few deep breathes to calm his heartbeat down to a regular speed.
Mark had to admit to himself that he had underestimated Tyler. He hadn't thought the guy could or would go crazy like that, and for a moment there he had even been afraid of him. When Tyler's hand had grabbed his neck, it had almost looked like Tyler wanted to strangle him, but he hadn't squeezed, so he had been able to control himself.
Mark knew there was a side on this Tyler guy he didn't want to mess with, so he would rather stay away from him than to clash with him again. Who knew what he would do next?
Still, the anger was overweighting. He couldn't believe that Tyler had talked to him like that; he couldn't believe that it had gotten this bad. And now he had even threatened Tyler to tell Alex everything.
Mark buried his face in his hands for a moment, taking a few deep breathes.
He didn't plan on telling Alex anything he knew. He would keep his mouth shut. He wasn't like Michael, and he didn't want to become like him. It really wasn't his thing to threaten people to get what he wanted, but he just hated the fact that everyone seemed to know what was best for him.
That everyone told him what he should and shouldn't do and how to treat his co-workers.
He knew he was still crossing a line with Alex, but Alex hadn't complained so far. Alex hadn't told him to stop. Alex was a grown up. He was a big boy. A man, who could verbalize his concerns if there were any. Mark wasn't his babysitter, he was - at least for a while - his boss, and as long as Alex didn't tell him personally to stop asking him about Jackson, he wouldn't.
Slowly, he made his way back to the plastics station, only to find Arizona talking to Alex in the hallway.
Raising an eyebrow, Mark moved closer towards them, watching them from a safe distance for a moment, before he decided to act. Arizona was obviously trying to get Alex back to Peds, and Mark wouldn't let that happen.
"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly, noticing the twitch of Arizona's body.
"Mark, hey..." Arizona greeted him with a nervous smile.
Rolling his eyes, Mark looked down at her. "What are you doing here?" he repeated, feeling the anger rise within him.
"I wanted to talk to you. Both of you, actually. Listen, Mark... I understand why you needed Alex on your first day here and everything, because Alex knows Plastics and such..." Arizona started to babble. "But now it's time that I get him back. I have two big surgeries coming up and I need him to be there. I can't do this without my partner..."
Mark looked at Alex, and then back at Arizona.
"Karev? Leave us alone for a moment, will you?"
"But..." Alex started, but Mark cut him off immediately.
"Go see Mrs. Zane... she has a few questions about her prospective treatment."
"Yes, sir!" Alex immediately said and Mark was pretty thankful for him to have learned his lesson when not to talk back.
Once Alex was gone, Mark turned back to Arizona, tilting his head.
"What makes you think showing up here would cause me to give you Alex back?" he asked immediately. "You say you need your partner... I need mine, too, but he's not here because of you, and I can't get him back either... I have this big surgery coming up the day after tomorrow and I need Alex, too, so no, you can't have him back."
"Mark, please... don't you see what you're doing? You're punishing not only me but all of Alex' patients, too. They ask for him..." Arizona pleaded.
Mark let out a laugh. "And what about my patients? What about Jackson's patients? Don't you think they ask about him, too? And unlike you, I have to lie straight to their faces... telling them he's on vacation or something like that... or that he's sick. Do you think that's funny?"
He could see pity in Arizona's face and he knew she still felt sorry for what she did, but Mark wasn't ready to forgive her. It was just too much and that she was involved in this whole thing disappointed him most. More than any of the others could have.
"No... it's not funny... I'm sorry, Mark... I don't know how often I have to repeat it, until you finally forgive me... I'm really, really truly sorry and if I could turn back time, I would, only to be able to tell you everything..." Arizona said, the desperation clear in her voice. "But you can't ignore me forever..."
"No? Try me..." Mark replied coldly. "We're done here... you took away my partner, so I'm taking away yours, it's only fair, don't you think?"
Before Arizona even had the chance to answer, Mark had already passed her by and made his way towards his office. He had enough for today. More than enough. He was really looking forward for this day to be over, so he could go home and be with his daughter, the only bright spot in his life right now. At least it felt like it, even though he knew he still had friends he could trust. Friends he could rely on. Friends like Derek or Callie.
Mark let out a relieved sigh when he fell on his couch in his apartment.
'Home,' he thought. And 'Finally!'
It had really been a long, exhausting day and the incident with Tyler still wore on him. He hadn't even wanted it to be such a "big thing", but somehow this one stressed him more than anything.
And the fight with Arizona afterwards only added to that. She was still the mother of his child and no matter what she would stay in his life. Not talking to her was something he missed and no matter how hard he tried to deny it, she was a part of his life and he loved her. He knew he couldn't be mad at her forever, but he just didn't know how to forgive her. Not after what she had done.
He was just about to turn on the TV when he heard a knock at the door, sitting up again. Taking a look at his watch he moved towards the door.
Was it already time for him to get Sofia?
He expected to see Callie, but when he opened the door and Arizona was standing there, with his daughter in her arms, he let out a deep breath, trying not to get all too upset in front of Sofia.
"What are you doing here?"
"What does it look like? I'm bringing you Sofia..." Arizona said and stepped in, without Mark even inviting her. She moved towards Sofia's play corner and sat her down, turning around and looking at Mark.
"Listen, Mark... we really need to talk... this situation is just... unbearable... for all of us..."
"Is it?" Mark asked, crossing his arms above his chest. "What do you expect me to do? Forgive you just like that and everything's forgotten? I'm sorry, but that I can't do..."
"Mark... don't you understand me at least a little bit? Do you think keeping this from you was easy for me? But I truly regret it... how often do I need to apologize for you to believe me?" Arizona looked up at him, her eyes gleaming with tears. "Let's just try to get along... please..."
"You can go now!" Mark replied, without answering to anything she has said.
"You have brought Sofia, and I don't want to see you here anymore. Next time I expect to see Callie... and when I bring Sofia tomorrow, I also expect to see Callie instead of you."
"Mark..." Arizona sobbed. "Please... please forgive me... I know I messed up, and if there is anything I can do to make it better I will..."
"You wanna know what would make it better?" Mark tilted his head.
"Yes... yes... anything..." Arizona stammered, wiping away some of her tears.
"Then leave!" Mark said aloud, grabbing Arizona's arm and shoving her towards the door. "I don't want you here!" His voice got louder with every word he said and all of a sudden another cry came from across the room. Sofia's.
Mark's shouting obviously scared her and she looked at both of her parents, apparently not understanding what was going on all of a sudden.
As if that wasn't enough already, Callie stormed into Mark's apartment only a mere seconds later.
"What happened?" She asked, immediately moving towards Sofia and picking her up to calm her down when she noticed her crying.
Callie's hair was wet and she obviously came right out of the shower. Mark assumed Arizona hat taken the chance and grabbed Sofia to try to talk to him once more.
"What happened you wanna know?" Mark sighed. "Your wife uses our daughter to get to me, that's what happened."
"That's not true." Arizona defended himself. "I just wanted to talk to you again."
"Then why didn't you come without Sofia?" Mark demanded to know.
"Because I was sure you would have slammed the door right into my face if I had showed up alone." Arizona gave back, still pretty shaken up, but at least she wasn't crying anymore.
"Damn right I would have." Mark commented, and his voice got louder again. "I don't wanna see you right now. What on earth don't you understand about that?"
"We need to find a solution for that," Arizona said, becoming louder herself now, too, until Callie stepped in to interrupt them.
"Stop! Stop this. Both of you!" She pressed her daughter to her chest, looking between her wife and her best friend.
"Mark, I get that you're angry... that you're disappointed and all... but you can't talk to my wife like this. She's still the mother of our child... she's a part of your life, too. And of Sofia's." She let out a sigh. "I was really mad at her too in the beginning... and disappointed... but you need to move on..."
She turned to Arizona, looking at her.
"And you need to stop pushing him... Don't you see that it makes everything so much worse? Give him time to forgive you. He lost Jackson... what do you expect? To be all happy and smiley two days later?"
She looked down at Sofia who was clinging to her shirt. "I'm taking Sofia with me now... I think it's for the best if she stays with us tonight."
"But that's my night with Sofia!" Mark complained immediately.
"I know... but you need to put your daughter's needs first and right now you're scaring her. You need to calm down, Mark..." Callie said, moving towards him and gently stroking his arm.
It hurt Mark to hear those words, even though they were true and he knew that Callie was right about what she was saying.
"I'm sorry..." he finally said, touching Sofia's head. "I'm sorry, honey, that I shouted..." He leaned forward and kissed her head. "You stay with mommy for tonight and be a good girl, okay?"
"Thanks..." Callie said, looking at Arizona. "You should go now... can you take Sofia?"
"Sure!" Arizona nodded, taking their daughter and making her way out of Mark's apartment. "Are you coming?" She asked when she turned around.
Callie nodded. "I'll be right there. Just give me five minutes with Mark alone, okay?"
She closed the door after Arizona and turned to Mark, grabbing his arms and making him look at her.
"Listen, I'm really, really sorry what you're going through and I... partly feel responsible for it, too... I was the one to tell Jackson to break up with you..."
Shocked, Mark stared down at her. "You did what?"
"I... I didn't know what was going on with him, but I could see that the two of you... that you weren't making each other happy... I had a talk with him and I... I suggested that a temporary break-up might be for the best..." Callie said, the guilt obvious on her face. "If I had known what there was underneath, I would have never said it, and I truly regret it..."
"How could you have done this?" Mark asked, taking a step back, so she had to let him go. This was all too much for him. Way too much. "Why haven't you talked to me first? We could still be together... it might not even have come this far if you hadn't told him I'm better off without him..."
"I know!" Callie agreed. "And... if something happened to him, I could never live with myself... but this was one of the reasons I was so mad at Arizona... if I had known, I would have done things differently... and so would you have... But things are how they are right now and we can't do anything about it... we can just hope and pray that Jackson will come back... but there is one thing I know for sure... the guy loves you... no matter where he is..."
"Doesn't make a difference if he isn't here..." Mark whispered, sitting down on his couch.
"Can you please leave now? I want to be alone... this is all... a little much to take in for one day..."
Callie bit her lower lip. "You sure?"
Nodding, Mark leaned against the backrest. "I'm sure..." He waited for Callie to close the door behind her, before he let his feelings overwhelm him. He couldn't believe what he had just found out. Not only had Arizona, Lewis, Alex, Eli and Tyler gone behind his back, Callie had, too, in some way, even though she had probably tried to help them. In the long run, though, it might have only added to Jackson's wish to leave... because he had lost everything and everyone.
How could Mark have let that happen? How could Mark have accepted the break-up just like that? He should have fought for Jackson. He should have fought harder.
Grabbing his mobile Phone, Mark dialled Jackson's number once more, waiting until he reached his voicemail.
"Jackson, hey... I'm... I'm only calling to tell you that the surgery went well... and that... that I miss you..."
Biting his lip, Mark tried his best to fight back the tears. He had cried way too much over the past few days. It was enough. He needed to be stronger. He needed to get back to who he was before everything started falling apart. Before his word started to collapse.
"Callie just told me that she suggested to you that you should break up with me..." Mark went on. "And I'm sorry I accepted it just like that... I should have fought for you... for us... but if you ever come back, I promise you, I'll make it up to you. I need you, Jackson, and I... I'm going crazy without you... I love you... and I'm sorry that I am bothering you again, but this... leaving you messages... almost feels like I am still talking to you... Take care of yourself..."
Mark ended the call and took a few deep breathes. He could do this. He could get through this, even though he didn't know how yet.
Addison Montgomery POV:
Addison found herself sitting in the waiting area of Seattle Grace International Airport waiting for the arrival of Amelia Shepherd's flight. It was 7 in the morning and the coffee she was drinking wasn't doing the best job of perking her up.
It was doing even less of a job on Tyler who sat beside her shifting in his seat and trying to get back to sleep.
"Will you sit up" Addison laughed "people will think you don't want to be here"
Sitting up Tyler took a long drink of his coffee "It's 7:15 in the morning. I haven't gotten up before 9 since I was a resident. Who are we meeting anyway?"
"Remember I told you I knew someone who could help?" Addison asked "Her name is Amelia Shepherd."
"Shepherd?" Tyler looked at her curiously "Related to Derek?"
"Yeah, she is his sister"
"Not that I don't trust your judgement, but what could she do?"
Turning to look at Tyler Addison took on a sombre expression "She's been where Jackson is at not that long ago" she told him "we can all tell Jackson how important he is to us, but she is the only one who knows the pain he is going through"
"How did you get her to come here to help?"
"She's a good person and she doesn't want to see the same thing happen to Jackson that happened to her" Addison said "and apparently they've met before and got along really well so she knows how good of a guy Jackson is"
"Really?" Tyler asked "When did they meet?"
"About a year ago" Addison told him "Amelia was visiting Seattle Grace to get help on a case and the two hung out some"
"That's good" Tyler said "at least it will be somebody who knew Jackson before he became the person he is now...not that it will do any good"
"Why?"
This time it was Tyler who took on the sombre expression "I screwed up" he told Addison bluntly "I saw Alex and Lewis...kissing...and I did not react well"
"How will that affect Jackson?"
"I called him in frustration" Lewis said "left this long angry message about how selfish he was for leaving and threatening to drag him back here if he didn't come back on his own"
Addison grabbed Tyler's hand in her own and gave the man a warm smile "If anything that only tells me how much you love him" she said "yes you were angry and misdirecting it, but you still let him know that the goal was getting him back here and I believe he knows you well enough to understand that"
A look of genuine relief and affection crossed Tyler's face "Has anyone ever told you that you have quite a way with words?"
"No, but I'll take the compliment anyway" Addison laughed and stood up "now let's go meet Amelia" and grabbing Tyler's hand she lifted him up and led him towards the terminal.
The moment Addison caught sight of Amelia she waved her hand to grab the woman's attention and once spotted Amelia smiled widely and made her way over to Addison and Tyler.
"Hey Addie" Amelia said and embraced the woman in a hug. After the greetings were over Addison turned "Amelia, this is Tyler Browning. He's really close to Jackson"
"Hello, the name's Amelia"
"Great to meet you" Tyler smiled "and I can't thank you enough for doing this"
"No thanks required" Amelia told him "it's the least I can do"
After watching the two talk Addison put a comforting hand on Tyler's shoulder "Let's get the hotel, shall we?"
"Just one minute" Amelia said somewhat embarrassingly "I brought somewhat else I thought could help" and as if on cue Sheldon Wallace walked up to the group.
"Hey Addison" the man said "I hope you don't mind"
"Mind, of course not" Addison exclaimed as she gave him a hug.
Taking notice of Tyler's confusion Amelia stepped in "He's a psychiatrist" she said "I'm sorry for not clearing it with Addison first, but I think we both know that an intervention is going to be needed and it would be good to have someone who knows how to do it properly"
"No need to apologize" Tyler said clearly touched "I'm just glad to see that so many people are willing to do whatever is needed to help Jackson...he doesn't get that very much"
"That changes today" Addison told as she wrapped an arm around his waist "now let's get going"
Two hours later Addison had dropped Amelia and Sheldon off at the hotel to get their rooms and made a promise to stop by later and go over everything. Amelia had made Addison and Tyler keep her presence quiet for the time being. She wanted to focus on this thing with Jackson first and having Derek know she was there and all the questions that would come with it would only be distracting.
Addison had agreed, she didn't like it, but she agreed. Her own focus had to be on the ultrasound that she was doing with April this morning. It was the main reason she had come to Seattle and she didn't want one problem to interfere with the other.
"Morning, April" Addison said as she walked into the room.
"Morning, Dr. Montgomery"
"I think we know one another well enough now to go by our first names"
"Right" April chuckled awkwardly "just nerves I guess"
"No need to be" Addison told her "so far everything seems to be going swimmingly, you wanna lie back for me?"
April did so "I'm glad to hear that" she told Addison "I've been waiting for Alex...I invited him to come see and you know we could find out together, but something must have come up"
"Do you want to hold off?" Addison asked "wait until he gets here?"
April was silent for a moment before she spoke "No" she said "I can always tell him myself. Make it an event"
"A lot of mothers do" Addison said as she prepared April and set up the ultrasound monitor "it makes it feel more real for everyone"
Rubbing the extended hand over April's stomach Addison looked at the monitor carefully.
"Everything seems to look good and developing quite well with a strong heartbeat"
Addison chuckled at April's relieved smile "You have no idea how happy that makes me"
"I could add to the joy if you want to know the sex of the child" Addison offered.
Another moment of silence and then another yes from April.
"It seems as if you, Ms. Kepner, shall be having a beautiful baby girl" and at the news April's face lit up and moving upright she gave Addison a strong hug.
It was these moments that made Addison love her job the most.
Still, she could see some sadness in the woman's eyes "What's wrong?"
"It just would've been nice to have Alex here" April said "or even Jackson...I miss him"
"I know" Addison told her sadly "but what he's going through right now isn't easy"
April looked up at her "It's that bad?"
Putting away the ultrasound machine Addison knew that April and Jackson were very close, but maybe she didn't know how badly off he actually was.
"I'm sure he's going to be okay" Addison told her "Hunt will give him his job back once he gets clean and we're all going to make sure he does"
"Clean?" April asked confused "clean from what?"
Alarm bells sounded in Addison's head. Bad alarm sounds.
"I'm so sorry" Addison told her "I just thought Alex would have mentioned to you about Jackson"
"What about Jackson?" and now April's voice was sounding panicked "he's okay isn't he?"
"I think this is something you should really talk to Alex about"
"Addison, please" April pleaded "Jackson texts me every day and I just thought he was sick with a bug, but if something more is going on I have a right to know"
Addison did not want to be the one to tell April, but it looked as if the choice was out of her hands.
"Jackson started taking drugs a few months ago" Addison said "it appears as if it got progressively worse and after many of the staff tried to help him Owen had to step in"
"Step in?" April questioned "Drugs? Jackson would never be that stupid"
"There was a history" Addison told her calmly and sat down beside her "Owen asked him to get help and Jackson declined then left"
"Left...left to where?"
"We don't know" Addison answered honestly.
There was a hard look of anger in April's eyes "Did Alex know?"
"Please, April, it really should be Alex who-"
"He has done nothing but lie to me, so why would he be honest now. Did Alex know?"
Bowing her head Addison nodded yes "He was the one who discovered Jackson's use"
"So he's known for months" April confirmed "he has known for months and said nothing to me"
Before Addison could speak a frazzled looking Alex appeared at the door.
"So sorry I'm late" Alex said out of breath, as if he had been running here "it's just Mark's surgery is in half an hour and a patient that I have in Peds is...you know what, it's not important. I'm just sorry I was late"
Standing up Addison walked over to greet Alex "It's okay" she said quietly "I'm going to head out. I think you two need to talk" and before she exited she gave a quick glance at Alex and mouthed I'm sorry which got her a look of confusion.
Addison felt like a coward leaving Alex to a battle he was ill prepared for, but this was not Addison's war to fight and whatever came out of it she only hoped would leave both Alex and April unscarred, but she knew that was a slim possibility.
April Kepner POV:
April couldn't believe what Addison had just told her. It was really difficult to wrap her head around the fact that Jackson had been using drugs for months and she hadn't noticed it.
Okay, to be fair, they hadn't spent this much time with each other lately - mostly because they both had been so busy with their own problems - but that was something she should have noticed, right? And why was it that no one bothered to tell her? Obviously there had been a lot of people involved, and right now she just felt left out, and that hurt like a bitch.
Jackson was her best friend. The best friend she ever had. Almost like a brother. He had always been there for her. Heck, he had even taken her virginity and that was something that would always connect them somehow. He was April's first guy, and even though she hadn't been in love with him, that was special.
But there wasn't only disappointment and hurt, there was also anger. Especially towards Alex. She couldn't believe how he could have kept this from her.
He had lied straight to her face and that made everything SO much worse.
Jackson was gone for a couple of days now. April had even told him that they were texting each other and still he hadn't said a word. There hadn't been any complications with the pregnancy since this one incident, so that definitely wasn't an excuse either.
"So sorry I'm late, it's just Mark's surgery is in half an hour and a patient that I have in Peds is...you know what, it's not important. I'm just sorry I was late" April heard Alex say, and she just couldn't believe how he could act so normal. Like nothing ever happened.
She watched Addison leave, before she slowly slid off the bed she was laying on.
She moved towards Alex and looked him straight in the eye.
"How could you not tell me?" she asked with a visible pain in her voice. She didn't want him to know how hard this information had hit her, but she had never been good in hiding her true feelings, and she knew that would bite her in the ass now.
"How could I not tell you what?" Alex repeated, looking pretty confused.
April took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down just enough to answer.
"Jackson..." she stated, and noticed the colour draining from Alex' face.
"What do you know?" he asked, and that question alone made April almost want to hit him.
"What do I know? What do I know?" she literally shouted, staring up at him. "That's all you have to say?"
Shaking her head, she took a few steps back.
"I think I know enough by now... thanks to Addison... I know that Jackson was using drugs and that you have known for months... and you obviously didn't trust me enough to tell me..."
"That's not true. April, please... just let me explain." Alex said and April rather wanted to just leave the room and leave Alex standing there, but somehow she couldn't, so she nodded.
"Okay... I'm listening..." She replied, sitting down on the bed again and looking at him.
Moving closer, Alex stopped a few feet away from her, taking a deep breath. It was obviously not that easy to talk about this - April could see that, she wasn't blind - but she still wanted to know.
"Don't think keeping this from you was easy for me... or that it was something I decided just like that... I just thought it was best for you... the both of you..." Alex stepped forward and tried to touch April's stomach, but immediately, April slid away.
"Don't!" she hissed. "Don't you dare touching me... us..."
She could see the shock in Alex' eyes and she knew she was hurting him, but she was hurt, too.
"April... I... I was so worried about you two... The thing with Jackson... me discovering about his drug use... it happened almost the same time the complications with your pregnancy started. I didn't want you to lose the child," Alex explained. "It's my baby in there..."
"Do you think I don't know that?" April gave back. "And I understand that you couldn't tell me back then, but that was... weeks ago. You kept quiet for weeks, Alex... How can I ever trust you again if you lie straight to my face? I told you about the messages from Jackson and I told you that I'm worried because he's sick. You had more than one chance to tell me, but you didn't..."
"I... I just didn't know how... and I mean Jackson obviously didn't want you to know either, right? He wouldn't have told you he was sick, if he did..." Alex defended himself.
"He's using drugs, for fuck's sake!" April flared up. "You really think he can still tell what's right and what's wrong? Especially when he's under the drugs influence? You're a doctor, Alex... you know that addicts don't act like every normal person anymore... it was up to you to tell me, but you lied... you fucking lied to me. I thought we were over this... I thought we had a good base there..."
"We have..." Alex started to say, but immediately, April cut him off.
"Save it! I don't wanna hear it..."
She felt a sharp pain in her stomach, taking a few deep breathes. She knew that any kind of agitation and stress was bad for her and the baby, but she couldn't help it right now. She just needed to get this off her chest.
"I thought... I really thought we could be friends... and that we could raise our daughter together, even if we're not a couple..."
"Daughter?" Alex asked quietly and there was so much love in his expression, that it really hurt. April knew Alex wanted this baby and that he was standing by her, but right now she didn't care.
"We're having a girl?"
"No!" April gave back. "I'm having a girl..." she said, trying to compose herself. "I really wanted this to work out between the two of us, Alex... but... I was wrong... it doesn't... it can't..."
"I'm... I'm sorry, April. Please... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to lie to you," Alex said with a desperate tone in his voice.
"You didn't want to but you did..." April said, tears burning in her eyes. Not only because of the disappointment, but also because the pain in her stomach got worse every second, and made it almost impossible to breath.
"Ouch... it hurts..." she cried out, noticing her breathes getting quicker every second, and that was not good. Her heart was beating way too fast and there was cold sweat on her forehead.
"April! What's wrong?" Alex asked alarmed, panic in his eyes.
"This is your fault..." April replied, tears running down her face. "This is all your fault... if something happens to my daughter, I will never forgive you... go get Addison... please..."
April rather wanted Alex to leave for good, but somehow she was afraid she wouldn't make it out of the room all by herself, since the pain got worse and worse and made it almost impossible to breathe. It was like she was having contractions, maybe she even was in labour, but it was too early for that. She wasn't due for a couple more weeks and she just couldn't have the baby right now.
Laying down on the bed she closed her eyes, rubbing her stomach and just hoping for Addison to come back soon. And Alex, too, because she needed to tell him to stay away from her from now on. She still needed to tell him that she didn't need him and that she could and would take care of her baby alone. Because she knew she could do it. Everything was going to be okay. It just needed to be okay.