Personal Logs of an Above Average Man: Act II

Author's Note: I'm BAAACK! And feeling completely refreshed, and I'm 10 chapters ahead in my writing, which means I'm working on the 2-part series finale! Hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Personal Logs: Supplemental.

Maybe my puzzle analogy was a little too simplistic. Perhaps Gordian Knot would have been more appropriate, and more to Diana's liking.

In talking with Mister Scott, I am more convinced that Jaylah's kidnapping is somehow related to everything else, but I'm still struggling to fully invest in the theory that my gut just won't let go of.

Starfleet may not be a military organization, but it didn't stop people like Admiral Marcus from trying to change that. His fingerprints are still all over the Admiralty Board, but I had hoped it was simply idle speculation and caution towards possible allies. The notion that it could be something more sinister… that's enough to make me lose even more sleep.

If I assume that after three separate, seemingly unrelated conflicts with Romulans that they are related, then that suggests the Romulans are looking for new ways to encroach on Federation territory as invisibly as possible. Maybe they were looking for the barrier technology, a way to hide whole outposts. That would explain why, when they couldn't get it from Themyscira, they eventually came after Jaylah.

But, Delphi? Khitomer?

My gut tells me that while they came looking for a way to hide… They found something much more valuable. What they see as a weapon that could be controlled or neutralized.

I'm not about to hand her over.

Jim pocketed his datapadd as the doors to Sickbay opened, and he had to face the fact that he wasn't going to escape another physical. His personal logs, no matter how beneficial for his habit of overthinking situations, would have to wait. He had barely had time to grab the sensor data from the Themysciran mission before he stepped off the lift.

He didn't bother to hide how much he didn't particularly want to sit down and be scanned again. Worse, if Bones planned to put him through another game of word association, he'd walk back out the door without so much as a farewell.

When they had first come back from Delphi, Jim had been sure he was doing just fine. To no one's surprise, Bones did not share that perspective. He'd been testing Jim's neural patterns by using word association exercises. If he said chief engineer, Jim said Scott. If he said sniper, Jim said Charlie. If he said trenches, Jim said outdated warfare. If anything, the lack of PTSD evident in his mental state was enough to show Bones that there was definitely only one neural pattern present. To be honest, Jim was about ready to end the scans altogether, to put his foot down if Bones didn't land on the same conclusion soon.

The doctor seemed to be pretty serious about his desire to run scans, much to Jim's dismay. As captain approached chief medical officer, Bones was already pulling over a medical tray.

"Bones," Jim said, announcing his appearance with an expectant look.

"So, you finally decided to drag your ass into my sickbay." Leonard groused, as if Jim had somehow put him out.

Jim just chuckled and shook his head as he took a seat on the biobed.

"Let me guess," Bones said, grabbing his medical tricorder and walking over to Jim. "Even Diana wouldn't rescue you from me?"

He scoffed. "She doesn't even know I'm here. She's working with Jaylah on some project in the cargo bay, and she would've been the first person to tell me to take care of myself."

"Well, I'm hardly surprised. I told you she was way too good for you." Bones ran his sensor over Jim with enough proximity to start making his brow twitch. Getting medical scans with Starfleet technology was entirely predicated on the notion that individuals didn't have personal space boundaries. Jim wasn't quite so liberal, and had probably spent half of his Starfleet career telling Bones to take weird doo-dads off of his face or his arm.

Jim simply crossed his arms over his chest and threw Bones an entirely unimpressed look at the not-even-remotely-veiled insult. "Why do I keep you onboard again?"

He ignored the question, brow furrowing as something on his tricorder gave him heartburn. Jim craned his neck to look at the display, but before he could, Bones pivoted and made his way back towards his office. "Damn critters. I swear these gremlins have made their way into every damn one of my tricorders."

Jim's confusion was plain on his face, much to the amusement of one of the nurses on the way to the biolab. "What… critters?" Another, more serious thought came to mind. "When did we get critters?" When the other man didn't respond, still grumbling in his office, Jim called out: "Bones?"

A moment later, his best friend came back from his office with a datapadd in hand and no tricorder.

Jim opened his mouth, then pointed to himself. "I thought you were gonna do a physical - "

Bones waved him off. "Oh, you're fine. This was just gonna be a final outscan, but I've got no reason to think anything's wrong. Besides, until I can figure out how to reconfigure those tricorders, I'm gonna have a helluva time doin' any more scans."

"What's wrong with the tricorders?" Jim asked again, trying to pull McCoy's attention from the datapadd. "If there's something wrong with your medical equipment, I don't want an accident."

Bones tore his gaze away from whatever was on his datapadd to focus on Jim. Which was just as well. If he had to ask a third time, it would become an order. And Jim only liked pulling rank with Bones sometimes.

McCoy tapped the back of the padd with his fingers for a moment, then held it out to him. "I started digging into Diana's blood samples she provided me. First blush of tests were totally normal, run-of-the-mill results. Everything seemed fine at first."

Jim looked down at the datapadd, starting to skim for pertinent details. So far, so good. Her blood type, basic vitals, it all seemed similar to another human. The results were at their core unremarkable, at least according to the first few medical logs Bones had. "So…" His eyes darted back up to Bones when he realized he still had more. "You said 'at first'. I take it that means you found something that makes Diana, well… Diana."

Bones nodded, motioning for him to follow back to his office. Equal parts curious and relieved, Jim obliged, hopping off the biobed and strolling over. Once he was through the archway, the doors shut behind them both.

"I thought since she was a bit more resilient than the rest of us, her cells might be, too." Bones dimmed the lights and pulled up a wall display that Jim had seen him use countless times before. Immediately, Diana's name appeared, along with a full readout of various statistics and medical jargon that went well over Jim's head.

"I exposed her cells to everything I could think of, trying to glean a reaction." Bones leaned against his desk to mirror Jim. "I've never seen anything like it. Cells die. That's just how it is. And sure, races like Klingons or Vulcans might have a slower rate of decay, but everything dies." Bones pushed off of the desk and tapped the display, switching to another view. A series of red NEGATIVE RESULT boxes began to flash over the battery of tests Bones had performed. "Except for her."

Jim knew that had this been even a year ago, he would have as skeptical as Bones was acting. But, with what he'd seen, what he knew about Diana, what the Nexus had shown him… His reaction was hardly one of surprise. "She's a goddess, Bones. I didn't think it was just a euphemism. Not for her."

Bones sighed. "Dammit, Jim, would you just listen to me for a second?" As per usual, he was acting like Jim had put salt in his coffee or something, instead of just sitting there quietly. So, knowing better than to argue with Bones while he winning a one-sided argument, Jim simply motioned for him to continue. "Even incredibly long-lived species have a level of entropy in their cells. Those cells die, decay and shed. But, that's not what happens with Diana's cells. What I first thought was simple resilience with her cell walls was something else entirely.

"Her cells don't ever break down because the moment they start to, they release these little critters on a subatomic level." Bones swiped the display over to show the particles spinning around. "Chronitons. Whole burst of them every time. It's like blowing a damned dandelion."

Jim furrowed his brow, considering the ramifications of that kind of reaction. "Chronitons…" He echoed, then glanced over at Bones. "As in the exhaust from a cloaking device?"

"Not just cloaking devices." Bones said, clearly a bit proud of himself that he had caught something Jim had missed. "Did some digging while we were trekking our way out here. A number of physicians have spotted high amounts of chroniton particles when individuals have been exposed to temporal anomalies. Rumors were the NX-01 Enterprise was flooded with chronitons when she was decommissioned, but at the time, Starfleet didn't have a clue what they were or why they had appeared."

Jim took a long moment to consider why a particle that was a side effect of temporal anomalies would have been present in Diana's cells. If it was a side effect, if she never aged, then…. "Her cells use temporal energy to restore themselves?" He finally reasoned, looking up to Bones for confirmation.

The doctor's expression was less mirthful, more concerned. "On a cellular level. A cell dies, it release a burst of temporal energy that restores just the cells around it. No wonder Diana says she won't die. It's the damndest thing, because it's delayed, too. Some of the cells stayed dead for days, then all of a sudden: poof. Temporal energy ripples through several cells at once."

"So, she's in some sort of cellular temporal flux." Jim replied, thinking it through. "She's not just immortal, she's harnessed the ability to use temporal energy to regenerate on a cellular level." He considered what she'd told him about having eternity. Circe's cruel voice echoed for a brief moment, taunting Jim about how he had worshipped Diana, how alluring that drug could be. "I wonder if Apollo and the other gods do that, too. If it's just ingrained in their DNA. I mean, they're older than Diana and they're still around."

The room went silent for a moment as the two of them stared at the floating chronitons on the screen.

Jim finally mused, "Diana said she saw Ares on Khitomer. I thought she killed him, but she seemed… I dunno, not so much scared of him as she was scared of becoming him. Or not being able to accomplish what she wanted because he still existed. " He reached up to scratch at his jaw, then looked to Bones, honest and concerned. "I don't think she's quite like the other Olympians, but I think you may have landed on why they live so long."

"I dunno, Jim." Bones sighed. "If she's killed gods and they came back… there might not be a deadline on that chroniton burst. For all we know, their bodies might stay in temporal flux even after they seem like they'd be dead by our standards. And then one day, something just… nudges the reaction."

The two of them fell silent. Diana was immortal by every standard. Even death would be a temporary state.

For a moment, Jim found himself suddenly beginning to grasp why she didn't know if she could ever love a mortal again. Three years of wandering in deep space had left Jim feeling untethered. What would two centuries have done?

His stomach swam. Maybe he'd been wrong to push her towards a relationship, to assume it was a gut reaction. There was no doubting how they felt for each other, but would she even remember him in another few centuries?

Would anyone?

Bones seemed to sense Jim's melancholy beginning to creep into the atmosphere and offered another bit of conjecture to get his mind off of it. "You know, when I first agreed to do this for Diana, we didn't have a clue about half the things she could do. Of course, she knew what her abilities were, but, even I didn't think she could hold back ship-to-planet disruptor fire without being vaporized." He shrugged, pushing off of his desk again. "I can't figure it out, Jim. Medically, it makes no sense. People shouldn't naturally be in a state of temporal flux. I'm surprised this hasn't killed her." He grumbled belatedly. "Or us."

Jim rolled his eyes at his chief medical officer, implying that he was worrying over nothing. It was more to comfort Bones rather than because Jim disagreed. There was a level of danger there. Warp cores were fickle. "If her body is doing this all the time, how come she's not flooded my ship with chroniton particles? I'd like to think Scotty would notice something like that."

"I'm not sure, but I think that might be part of the process." Bones turned off his display, the lights in the office coming back to normal visibility. "I need to get her back in here to run some controlled tests. My guess is that there's another part of the process that uses the chroniton particles before they ever leave her body. That might be what causes the enhanced strength or bursts of speed. She moves faster because the chronitons might power her system differently." He picked up his medical tricorder and waved it front of Jim for a second. "Too bad I don't have the same nifty synthesis on all my medical equipment." Sighing, Bones started to look at his tricorder again, tinkering with it. "Might have to ask Scotty up here to help me reconfigure them and purge them from the bay. There's no harm to us, it's just a nuisance. We just don't want it near the warp core."

Jim cast a sardonic look his way. "Do me a favor and don't wait on that. Scotty's got his team performing a little TLC, but nothing he can't step away from." Given the subject of his thoughts all morning, he couldn't help but ask: "Is there any way that someone could use your research to do this to someone else? Another human?"

The doctor shook his head. "No. I haven't gotten that far, but even if I had, this is in her genetics and I haven't the first idea what's doing it. My guess is that if someone wants Diana's powers, they'd have to do it the ole fashioned way." Bones deadpanned. "Zeus wasn't known for his fidelity."

Jim chuckled, trying not to think too much about the implications. He'd never really thought about what Diana's children could be like, and he was afraid if he started down that road, he wouldn't stop. Not only would it have been way too premature, but Jim hadn't exactly had the best role models for the subject. "Well, I'll take what we can get. It's enough to know that there's no risk of someone wanting to use her genetics to their advantage." He sobered as he considered how truly unique Diana was, and how valuable someone could see her and her abilities. Jim exhaled. "Anyone else seen this?"

Bones shook his head. "Haven't even had a chance to go over it with her. I was planning to show her today, but as you mentioned, she's apparently tied up. I was going to send this to Starfleet Medical once I discussed it with her."

Jim's gut twisted as his intuition threw up red alert klaxons. To his credit, he kept his expression neutral as he pushed off of the desk and stood straight. "Do me a favor: hold off on sending your report until further notice. I'm not so sure Starfleet needs that information right now." He might have seemed relaxed, but his voice had an edge of concern to it.

Bones caught the change in Jim's tone. "You're thinkin' someone's watching."

"I think a few 'someones' are watching, Bones, and I don't like it." He said darkly, almost conspiratorial. "I feel like we're in the middle of something and until I know what it is, I'm not letting anything leave this ship. Just... keep your head down and make sure you encrypt anything regarding Diana." That Gordian knot analogy seemed to be more and more apt. "I need to keep digging."

The doctor nodded, and Jim turned to leave. Apparently, Bones wasn't done with him yet. "She knows you have her back. And so do I." After a moment of internal debate, the normally acerbic man slipped from ship's physician to captain's confidante. "Have you two had a chance to talk things out? Or are you still… you know, doing the dance."

Suddenly, the office seemed entirely too small for a conversation with that much baggage. Nevertheless, Jim leaned against the wall and tried to use it to bolster his conflicted heart. "We talked a little bit this morning, but not about us. Meeting Ares really shook her, and…. I remember being there when he appeared, but not really knowing who he was or how he was there." His memories as Steve were hazy on a good day, on a good memory. Almost nothing of the airfield remained, except for the pivotal moments that he'd refused to let go. "You know, it doesn't matter that I wasn't Steve for all that time. Even if I didn't remember it personally, the thought that Diana had to face him again on Khitomer makes my blood boil. I just want to go out there and find him and - "

"Jim, take it easy," Bones quickly said, setting his things down and walking over to him. It seemed like a bit of an extreme reaction, but that was when Jim realized his his nails were biting into his palm. "What the hell was that about?"

Sighing, annoyed with himself, Jim shook his head and exhaled. "I'm fine. It's just… Ares and Khan would have had a lot in common, so…" He trailed off.

He should have known Bones knew exactly what he was thinking. "So, they both make you wanna cloud up and rain all over them. I get it." There was a level of honest comfort in his voice that helped the last of Jim's tension bleed away.

"I know she can take care of herself, but I want to help her. And I was too busy trying to keep control of my ship, so I feel like I didn't do enough." He shrugged. "I feel like trying to show her that I remember her fighting Ares should help. But, I can't tell." Jim slowly took a seat in Bones's chair. The other man didn't seem to care or notice. Not for the first time since they'd left San Francisco, Jim felt an itch begging to be scratched, one he only indulged off-duty. But, at least a glass of scotch would have helped loosen his tongue. As it was, he found it difficult to tell even Bones what he'd been thinking. "Maybe I'm never going to be who she needs." He said softly. "Maybe knowing that I was Steve is a barrier she can never cross. She'll see me and just remember that she lost me. And no matter how the gods, her messed-up family, Olympians - whatever you want to call them - decided that Jim Kirk was who Steve got to be next, that might never be fine with her."

"Well, if either of you want my advice," Bones said with a shrug. "The only way to figure that out is to try. If the two of you keep circling like this, you will never figure out if it could have worked." When Jim didn't respond, the self-proclaimed counselor to the captain continued. "Besides, it's not like you're replacing anyone. You'd be replacing… yourself. And I think she probably knows that, Jim, she just needs to get used to it." Jim felt Bones rest his hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently. "And if you're really worried about Ares or Starfleet or the Romulans, then you can bet she's worried about them, too. And I can guarantee you'd be stronger together than apart."

"I know that, Bones." Jim said softly, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "But, what if she doesn't? Or she decides she needs to go it alone."

"Then nothing you say will change her mind." The way he spoke, Jim was suddenly and poignantly reminded of how Bones had once been Leonard the husband. Sometimes, love just didn't last. Or it didn't work. "But, at least you'll know that you told her how you feel. That's all you can give her."

Jim considered the advice, knowing it came from his genuine concern, but unfortunately, there was no antidote to Captain Kirk's serious allergy to patience and waiting. He could handle it in the chair, but in his private life, this was probably the slowest he'd ever taken with any potential relationship. Wanting to do things right, to not pressure her. But, he couldn't help but remember Steve's words in the Nexus, and by extension, Jim's own words. I wished for more time, and they gave it to us.

How much of that time needed to be wasted because he was giving her space?

Bones couldn't give him an answer for that, so Jim didn't bother to ask. Instead, he drew himself up and out of the desk chair, standing straight.

"Thanks, Bones. That was surprisingly helpful." He finally said, forcing a grin and stepping past him out of the office.

It wasn't until Jim had made it halfway out the door that he heard Bones finally shout back, voice full of gravel:

" - The hell do you mean surprisingly helpful?!"

Jim got about halfway to Cargo Bay 1 before he realized that it probably wasn't going to get him anywhere. He had a feeling if Jaylah or Diana had been willing to let him in, he would have heard an update by now. Instead of risking a lecture or more verbal skirmishes that would end in a loss, he chose to head to stellar cartography.

There was no reason to rush out of this survey, so he had an abundance of time to think. He would take advantage of that time and use the stellar cartography lab's high definition displays to review all of the sensor data from Themyscira. At the time, he'd been on the surface of the planet trying to get back, and they had barely managed to save the planet. He'd never actually given the planet itself the proper attention his science officer normally did.

The stellar cartography lab was in a unique state of being almost needed by his crew. At the moment, his science teams were busy collecting all of the sensor data that the nebula had to offer. But, until the computer could finish analyzing and extrapolating a fully realized model of the nebula for the cartography displays, there was no reason to use the lab. By that same token, it meant that the computer had had months to finish cycling through all of the sensor data from the Eos system.

He took a moment to dismiss any of the lingering crewmembers in the lab and then sealed the doors behind him. Just in case, he didn't want anyone else knowing what he was looking into. The closer to his chest he could keep all this, the better it would be.

"Computer, display the Eos system, primarily the third planet." He finally said as he finished pulling up the sensor data on another console.

After a moment, the lab lights dimmed to darkness. In front of him, the entire back wall of the stellar cartography lab revealed its true intent and flickered to life in the form of a star chart. It isolated the particular system, then re-configured to show him the planet in all its glory.

PLANET: EOS-3
CLASS: M
FEDERATION DESIGNATION: CANDIDATE FOR TRADE, POTENTIAL MEMBER
NAME: THEMYSCIRA

The computer's words repeated in staccato, harsh tones as the images flickered onto the screen. He'd nearly forgotten how beautiful it had looked. In the great sea of black, this planet was a bright, lush paradise. The verdant northern continent with its edges of golden, sandy beaches… the swathes of sapphire blue water that covered much of the planet.

For a second, Jim thought of the palace and its crystalline, Kryptonian structures. All that time, the last Kryptonian had been hidden away on a planet with no ties to anyone. Not the Federation, not the Justice League…

Just as Themyscira had once been an island out of time, it had become a planet out of time.

While Jim had been among her guests for just a short time, he had seen enough to know that there was plenty the Romulans could gain by taking the planet. Crystal technology was completely lost to the Federation, but the computing power had been tremendous. In the same time that Earth had bombed itself a few times over and probably stalled the evolution of warp technology, Themyscira had built a subspace network. They had said the atmospheric barrier had been courtesy of the crystal technology, too.

Since Jim was a betting man, he decided to throw more chips down and have the system call his bet.

"Computer, search for any mention of Kryptonian technology in both pre-Federation and Federation archives. Look for specific references to atmosphere or isolated systems technology."

The Romulans had clearly been past the Neutral Zone when they showed up in Eos. The Enterprise and that warbird shared the same items of interest, so Jim needed to look there first. The atmospheric interference would have been the only item of interest.

The computer pulled up a number of possible records as it searched through countless Federation databases.

One particular entry caught his eye, and Jim pulled it up for further review. After a moment of skimming the details, he brought that up into the larger display to place the text beside the planet.

Jim furrowed his brow as he muttered aloud, "The bottled city of Kandor…" He read through the text detailing a Kryptonian city that had been placed into stasis, some sort of spacial anomaly, shortly before the planet's destruction. In order to prevent discovery by more sophisticated races, an atmospheric barrier had been created that masked all lifesigns.

Just like the barrier on Themyscira.

Kandor had later been found by the Justice League, where it was restored. Jim furrowed his brow as he tried to determine where the city had been, but realized it was an incomplete record. "Computer, where did you locate this record? It's incomplete."

FILE RETRIEVED FROM DIRECTORY: A.R.G.U.S.
PRE-FEDERATION.
PRE-MACO.
PROJECT NAME: … Classified.

Jim scowled as he realized he'd been stonewalled. "Command override: Kirk-Alpha-1-1-Delta-3." There were no records available on a starship's database that the captain didn't have access to. His security override should have easily done the trick.

But, it didn't.

INSUFFICIENT CLEARANCE.

"Excuse me?" Jim asked, trying to sound only half as incredulous as he felt. He repeated his code, then received the same message again.

Why wouldn't he be able to access this log?

"Computer, have there been any recent changes to security access for members of the Enterprise crew?" Jim asked, crossing his arms over his chest so he resisted the urge to hit something.

AFFIRMATIVE.

"When and what was changed?"

ACCESS TO THE FOLLOWING DIRECTORIES AND PROJECT NAMES HAVE BEEN REVOKED FOR ALL ENTERPRISE PERSONNEL.

Almost everything that had belonged to the agency A.R.G.U.S. had been classified to some degree. Some project files were completely unavailable and others, such as Kandor, were partially so.

That would have been bad enough. The timestamps read Stardate 2264.84.

During the hearing. Before his verdict but while the Enterprise was clearly in spacedock.

Jim didn't know what to think. His first reaction was anger, pooling in his belly like a hot coal. But, his second was that if they were going to classify anything, why bother to leave any part of the records available?

"Computer, who made the changes?"

CHANGES TO ACCESS MADE BY….

ADMI…

AD…

The computer stopped, unable to do more than flicker for a moment before the entire lab went pitch black.

Jim held his breath, wondering what the hell had just happened to his ship as he reached for his communicator. Just before he could flip it open, the lights came back up to a standard post-crisis yellow alert.

Everything Jim had pulled up was gone.

"Computer, retrieve previous records."

DATA LOG CORRUPT.

POWER FAILURE CORRUPTED MULTIPLE LOGS. UNABLE TO COMPLY.

"Power failure…" He said, gritting his teeth. "Why did we lose power?"

SIGNIFICANT POWER SURGE IN CARGO BAY 1.

Jim took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to keep his frustration in check. Flipping open his communicator, he sighed and hailed Engineering.

"Kirk to Scott. I thought you said Jaylah's project wasn't going to affect any systems." He said, not bothering to hide his exasperation.

"Aye, sir. I'm not entirely sure what just happened. I'll go check on her - "

Jim shook his head, then reminded himself that Scotty couldn't see that. "No, it's fine, I'll check in with them. Just… Send someone from Engineering to Stellar Cartography. I need a data log reconstructed."

"Aye, sir."

Jim clapped his communicator shut and stared at the computer console for a long moment. Jaylah's tinkering had just taken his best lead. It would probably take days to restore.

At least… he really hoped it was Jaylah's tinkering.