A/N: Okaaaaaaaay… we got a comment if the person Tyler stumbled into might have been Jackson… well… you'll find out in Chapter 59, but this one might give you a slight idea whether it was or wasn't him, I think :D
Fortunately, I had more time on my hands over the past few days so I was able to prepare the next chapter. I don't know when I'm gonna have the time to work on Chapter 59, but I hope it's soon!
"Enjoy" Chapter 58! This is not an easy one ;-)
Lewis Avery POV:
Lewis was glad when his final patient for the day left the gym room and he could go back to his office to finish his work for today. Now, with more patients, of course there was a lot more to do either, but he loved his job and he was thankful for the distraction. Without it, he most likely wouldn't have been able to set his mind off Tyler.
And Alex.
He really needed to talk to Alex. He needed to break up with him, and he could just hope, that Alex wouldn't hate him for listening to his heart.
If he had seen any possibility of being happy with Alex while Tyler was around, he wouldn't even have considered it, but Tyler would stay and Lewis needed to be with him again. They had missed way too much time because he had been an idiot. He didn't want to waste any more days without him.
He wanted to be with Tyler and he wanted the people around him, his friends and family, he wanted them to know that Tyler was his.
His mother wouldn't be over-excited, Lewis knew that, but she would have to accept it eventually.
It wasn't even that she didn't like Tyler... especially in the beginning she had liked him very much. What she hadn't liked was the fact that Tyler had been sleeping with both of her boys and taken away the possibility of being a grandmother one day. At least in her eyes, even though Lewis had tried to explain to her a couple of times that there were other ways.
Before Tyler he hadn't even thought about being a father one day, but when their relationship had gotten more and more serious, of course that thought had crossed his mind a couple of times.
Until their break-up.
He hadn't even thought he could be that happy again, and that they could end up together after all was still completely surreal.
Sitting down at his office desk, Lewis was just finishing his patient charts when he heard a knock at the door and a few seconds later Alex entered the room.
"Hey!" Lewis said a little confused, getting off his chair and rounding the table. "I thought I wouldn't see you anymore today."
"Yeah!" Alex replied. "Me neither... it's just... Arizona and I have to do an emergency surgery with one of my patients and I... I needed to see you before..."
"Come here," Lewis whispered, pulling Alex close to him and feeling his whole body tense.
"Is it dangerous?" he asked, while gently rubbing his back.
"Very!" Alex replied, leaning his head against Lewis' chest. "I... I'm really frightened that we can't help him... that we're gonna lose him."
"It's gonna be okay... Arizona and you... you're the best... and I'll think about you the whole time..." Lewis tried to comfort him.
Nodding, Alex looked up at him. "Can't you... stay and watch the surgery?"
Nervously, Lewis bit his lower lip. "I... I would, if I didn't have a patient early in the morning tomorrow... I'm... If it means so much to you, I can stay..."
"No!" Alex hurriedly said. "It's okay... I understand that. You need your sleep and I shouldn't have even asked..."
He looked away, and Lewis could tell that he was still tense.
"It's gonna be okay, Alex..." Lewis tried again. "And tomorrow morning you'll come to my office and we... we celebrate your success, okay?"
Again, Alex nodded. "Okay..."
Lewis hated it to lie to him, and he would have preferred to tell him that there was something else they needed to talk about, but right now he just couldn't. Not before a surgery like that. Alex' focus needed to be on the patient. It was important that there was nothing else on his mind, even though it made Lewis feel really bad.
"If... if you need me there I will be there of course..." Lewis suggested once more, wanting to give Alex the opportunity to tell him that he needed him. If Alex would really want him there in the gallery, he would postpone his date with Tyler. That could wait. He was still with Alex and it was on him to take care of him.
"No, it's really okay..." Alex replied. "Just get some rest and we'll see each other tomorrow..." He took a look on his watch. "And I should probably get going, before Robbins files a missing persons report..."
A small smile crossed Alex' face.
"You sure you're up for it? You've had a long hour surgery with Mark and you've been on your feet for over 12 hours now and your shift is already over..." Lewis asked concerned.
Alex let out a sigh. "I owe it to my patient and I owe it to Robbins... I have to be there..."
"Okay..." Lewis gave back, leaning forward and capturing Alex' lips in a kiss. "I'm sure you can do this... and now... kick ass..."
Another smile appeared on Alex' lips.
"I love you."
"I love you, too..." Lewis replied, while he watched Alex leave his office.
Waiting for a couple more seconds, until he was sure Alex wouldn't be back, he wiped all his stuff off his desk with one swift move.
"FUCK!" he cursed. This whole situation here was literally killing him. Eating him up from the inside, and he could do nothing about it. Yes, he could tell Tyler that something came up and he couldn't be with him tonight, but he needed him. He needed to be with him, as wrong as it was.
He sank down on the floor to collect his things when there was another knock at the door.
"What?" he literally yelled, and when the door opened, a slightly confused Arizona looked at him.
"I'm sorry... am I interrupting something?" she asked careful, before stepping in and immediately starting to help Lewis with his things.
"Yes... No... it's okay... just me being clumsy..." Lewis lied. One more lie wouldn't make anything much worse anyways.
"How can I help you?"
"I just wanted to know if you've seen Karev... I mean, Alex... we're doing a surgery soon and I need to talk to him beforehand, so I can explain to him how we do it." Arizona replied, placing the patient charts on Lewis' desk.
"He had just been here like two minutes ago. I'm surprised you haven't run into each other..." Lewis said. "I'm sure he's already upstairs waiting for you."
"Okay, thanks," Arizona smiled, but it wasn't a real smile and Lewis could tell that the past few days had definitely done their damage on her, too.
"You okay?" she asked, concern visible in her voice.
"Yeah..." Lewis sighed. "Yeah... I'm okay... or... I will be... it's just... a difficult situation..."
"I know... believe me, I know." Arizona agreed. "I've not only lost a friend with Jackson being gone, but also one of my best friends, because Mark still won't talk to me and he's not willing to let Alex back under my service, even though he knows I need him... not that I can blame him. I did break his trust."
"We all did," Lewis replied. "And as much as I understand that he's angry, he needs to get over it... It won't help him if he hates us forever and it won't bring Jackson back... but that's something he isn't ready to understand yet... but I'm sure you two are gonna be fine eventually..."
"I hope so," Arizona nodded. "Never mind... I need to hurry... the surgery can't wait. Thanks, Lewis..."
Gently, Arizona touched Lewis' arm, rubbing it a few seconds, before she turned around and left her office, while Lewis re-arranged his belongings on his desk.
He needed to get out of here and he needed to get his mind off all the bad things that had happened lately. And he needed Tyler to do so.
He couldn't wait to see him. He couldn't wait for Tyler to make him feel better with a single smile. He really needed him right now, no matter how wrong it was and he just hoped that - at some point - Alex would forgive him for what he was going to do to him, even though he didn't know yet how and when. But he knew it had to happen soon. He needed to end things with Alex to give them both the chance to be happy with the people they were supposed to be with. And for him that person was Tyler, and he was sure that for Alex it was April.
Alex Karev POV:
The surgery with Mark had been draining. Physically and emotionally and if Alex were to be honest with himself he didn't know how much longer he could deal with it.
Mark hated him for letting Jackson leave. Alex hated himself for the same reason and both men felt Alex should be punished for it. That's why he couldn't stand up for himself when Mark made him go over every detail of Jackson's descent into drugs. Every conversation, every harsh word, and every fist thrown was carefully detailed to Mark and it left Alex feeling guilty, raw, and like a horrible failure.
Alex understood Mark's need to lash out, but it didn't make being on the bad side of that anger any easier. Eli's words of encouragement afterwards did help him. Most of his days were only filled with Mark Sloan and that occasionally made Alex forget that he wasn't the most horrible person in the world.
Eli got to remind him of that, but before he could thank the nurse he heard about Dylan crashing and he was running before he could even think about it.
Running to Dylan's room he stopped just short of Arizona who was giving the teen chest compressions.
"He's had another episode of Cardiac Arrest" Arizona shouted "can you scrub in?" she asked and Alex told her yes. He wasn't going to leave this kid until he and Arizona made him better.
They got him to the O.R. Stopped the flow of blood that was filling his chest and made him stable...for now.
"His ventricular walls are completely shot" Arizona told Alex as the two scrubbed in. "we're going to have to go in and try our best to repair them...if you're up to it, that is?"
"Of course I am" Alex told her "I've known this kid since he was 10 and I'm not going to sit on the sidelines now that things are tough"
A smile crossed Arizona's lips "I'm glad to hear that" she told him "I'm not going to have the surgery for another hour" Arizona said "so why don't you go grab some lunch"
The idea sounded good to Alex, but what he wanted more than lunch was Lewis. So heading up the man's office Alex saw him filling out some forms, but when Alex entered Lewis smiled and stood up. And went over to hug him.
Some of the tension from the morning wiped away in Lewis' arms and Alex would have given anything to be able to spend the rest of the day in his boyfriend's arms.
He had wanted Lewis there. The support would help Alex through, but he understood that Lewis also had a job to do and he couldn't put everything on hold just because Alex was feeling uncomfortably emotional.
Even when Lewis had offered to be there Alex told him no. He was a grown man and a surgeon. He had to step up and that was exactly what he was going to do.
Although after everything was done and Alex got to see Lewis in the morning he was going away with him for a couple of days.
Take Lewis to some hotel room a city away and lock the doors for two days. Then Alex was going to screw his brain out until walking was the last thing either he or Lewis could do.
The hour passed in a blink of an eye and leaving to meet Arizona he gave Lewis one last kiss and made his way back to the surgical wing. Yawning he covered his mouth with a fist and shook his head.
"You okay, Karev?" Arizona asked "you're not too tired to do this, are you?"
"Of course not" Alex told her "bad flow of oxygen, is all"
"Because if you are I can get someone else" Arizona said "it won't be a problem"
"I'm fine, Robbins" Alex responded tersely.
"Okay" Arizona said "then let's get to it" and nodding his head he followed the woman back into the scrub room.
Alex hadn't lied to Lewis when he told the man that this was a risky surgery. They would have to team up with the current head of Cardio and as the man helped repair the ventricular walls with Arizona Alex would have the job of doing quick repairs to the outer areas in order to stop excessive bleeding.
The current head of Cardio was a man who looked very serious and very focused on his job. Alex really appreciated that, especially for this surgery. Alex had promised Dylan that he was going to be okay and the man was not going to renege on his deal.
Two hours and Alex could feel the day start to affect up. He was working on a 16 hour straight day and as Arizona sewed a part of the heart wall up Alex moved in sear it closed he could hear Arizona yell.
"No, Alex" she screamed "not yet" and just like that blood was everywhere. So much of it that Alex couldn't seem to even slow it down and looking up frantically at Arizona he saw the woman come over and push him out the way as she and the Cardio guy tried to stop the flow.
"Dr. Robbins I-"
"Go" Arizona said sternly "Out! Now!" and refusing to even look at him Alex could feel his own heart was beating too quickly.
Walking out of the O.R. He stood in the scrub room as he watched the two doctors try their best to save the teen.
"Please" Alex whispered to himself "please don't let him die"
It had taken twenty minutes before Alex's pleas went officially unanswered.
Dylan Forrester was pronounced dead at 9:30 pm. Something inside Alex felt like it had just been snatched from him and left a hole that Alex had no idea how to fill.
He had been sitting on a bench just outside of the O.R. when Arizona had walked up to him.
"I asked if you could do this" she said to Alex angrily "I asked you and you told me yes"
"I'm sorry, Dr. Robbins" Alex told her panicked "I don't know what happened"
"What happened was you were too tired and you should have went home, but instead you had to play hero"
"That's not what this was Ar-"
"GO HOME" she yelled at him and turning around she stalked down the hall and towards what Alex could only assume was her office.
It would be another five minutes before Alex could move from his spot. Had he done this? Had he killed Dylan just because he thought that he could be the one to save him?
"Dr. Karev?" Sasha said as she walked around the hall and saw the man standing there "is everything alright?"
He couldn't turn around and let the woman see him like this. Not so weak and pathetic and just holding back the urge to cry.
"I'm...I have to go" and Alex left as if fire was on his heels. He needed to go home to Lewis. Find the comfort that the man's arms held.
He had driven home in a daze. The day was completely shot to hell, but hopefully Lewis wasn't asleep yet and seeing his smile could do something positive for Alex.
He had planned on staying the night at the hospital, but the thought of being there and being surrounded by Dylan's ghost and all his mistakes was too much to bear.
Pulling into his parking lot he hurriedly locked his door and all but sprinted inside the building. Alex had felt like he was dangerously close to falling apart at any moment and he was going to need Lewis there to pick up the pieces because Alex would have no idea how to put himself back together.
Walking into their apartment the first thing he saw was the steak dinner sitting on the table. Had Lewis expected he would be home tonight after all?
Probably, Lewis did always have a knack for knowing what to do to make Alex feel better.
Although no amount of food was going to make him feel better. Only Lewis would be able to do that.
"Hey baby I-" Alex said as he opened the door to their bed room expecting to see Lewis lying there watching television.
Instead what he saw was Lewis and Tyler lying together under the covers and shirtless.
This scene didn't make sense and for the life of him Alex couldn't get his brain to understand it.
"Alex!" Lewis jumped out of the bed and ran over to him.
"What...what is this?"
Lewis Avery POV:
Lewis was more than glad when he was finally out of the hospital and in his car, on his way to the supermarket to buy a few things for the dinner he had promised Tyler. He still felt really, really bad about ditching Alex for it, because he could tell that Alex had been upset, even though he hadn't admitted to it.
He had really thought for a while to cancel his dinner with Tyler so he could witness Alex' surgery, but in the end he had decided otherwise. Because he knew that watching Alex would have made him feel so much worse than he already did for going behind his back like that.
It was difficult for him to even face him, especially now, where he had decided to break up with him, and having to spend a couple of hours up there in the gallery watching the man work instead of laying in Tyler's arms was something he couldn't bring himself to do. Even though he knew how egoistic it was. Even though he knew it wasn't right.
Something was wrong with Alex, but Alex had denied talking to him about it, so Lewis didn't really know anymore how to help him. How to be there for him when Alex didn't really speak out his fears.
Making his way to the supermarket, Lewis bought everything he needed, alongside a bottle of expensive wine. He wanted this evening to be perfect. He wanted this night to be perfect. Their first night in Lewis apartment.
He had almost completely blocked out Alex when he was preparing dinner, and just concentrated on cooking. Concentrated on making the best steaks in the world.
He wasn't even finished with them when there was a knock at the door and immediately, it made his heart beat faster. He put down the wooden spoon and moved towards the door, opening it a few seconds later and - as always - Tyler's appearance blew him away.
He wore a beige shirt with a V-Neck, a black leather jacket and jeans that were way to tight not to have any effect on Lewis immediately. He felt languorous shivers running down his spine, taking in a sharp breath.
"Wow... you... you look..." he stammered, grabbing Tyler's hand and pulling him into the apartment, only to press him against the door a mere seconds afterwards.
"You look so hot..." he whispered, before crashing his mouth against Tyler's, only to be welcomed by his warm lips that opened in a matter of seconds to let his tongue in. Lewis hands started roaming over Tyler's body, touching the back of his neck, sliding down his spine an grabbing his butt cheeks, making Tyler moan into the kiss and spread his legs, so Lewis could move one of his legs between Tyler's and start to rub his knee against his crotch.
"Lewis..." Tyler gasped, his fingers burying into Lewis' shoulder blades while he started humping his leg, and with every second, the urge to feel him became stronger.
Too strong to bear, so Lewis ended the kiss.
"Actually, I thought we... we would eat first... and then dance... and then I make love to you... at least that was my plan." He grinned, scratching the back of his neck.
Tyler let out a chuckle. "Can't we just skip all that and you put this pretty dick of yours inside of me right the fuck now? Because I don't think I can wait that long..."
Demonstratively, he let one of his hands slide in between Lewis' legs and grabbed his erection, moving it in slow, firm strokes, just the way Lewis liked it. Just the way that made Lewis lose control completely.
"We can do this..." he breathed out, letting go of him. "But if I don't want to risk a fire in my apartment, I better turn off the oven right now... I'll be right back, okay?"
He turned around, already on his way in the kitchen, when he felt Tyler's arms around him from behind, felt his breath in the back of his neck and his hands that snaked over his body.
"How about I come with you?" Tyler grinned, kissing his neck and driving Lewis completely crazy by it.
"Tyler..." Lewis hissed, leaning his head back against him. He just wasn't able to say no, even though he already knew that getting into the kitchen would take a lot longer if they did it like this, but he didn't care. When he finally managed to turn off the heat of the oven, he turned around in one quick move and grabbed Tyler's thighs, making Tyler literally jump him and wrap his legs around his waist.
"Good boy..." Lewis whispered, starting to nibble at his earlobe. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard... I need to be inside of you..."
On the way to his bedroom, Tyler got rid of his leather jacket, throwing it on the floor once they were inside, and then Lewis laid him down on the bed, not wasting any time and starting to kiss him.
"I love you... I love you so much..." he said, touching Tyler's nose with his own. "And I thought about you the whole day..."
"Me too..." Tyler whispered, before he pulled at Lewis' shirt, making Lewis lift his arms enough, so he could take off his shirt. Tyler's shirt followed within seconds and then their hands were fighting with their belts and zippers, making them both chuckle, because from their position it was almost impossible to get rid of their jeans.
So Lewis sat up, opening his own jeans and pulling it down, alongside his boxers and socks, watching Tyler do the same. He kicked the remaining clothes out of the bed and pushed back the duvet, pulling Tyler back with him and sinking down on him, before he pulled the blanket back over them.
Invitingly, Tyler spread his legs for Lewis to find a better angle and then they were rubbing against each other, while they were sharing longing, fiery kisses.
"I need you now..." Tyler whispered in between two kisses, reaching down and grabbing Lewis' erection, moving it to his entrance.
Wide-eyed, Lewis looked at him. "But... you're not... prepared..." he commented, feeling his heart race. They hadn't done it without any preparation in a while and the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Tyler.
"I have been prepared since the moment you pulled me into this on-call room..." he gave back, massaging Lewis' erection. He pushed Lewis on his back, getting on top of him and sliding down until his lips reached Lewis' cock, and within seconds his lips were around Lewis' manhood and all he could do was not thrust up.
Tyler engulfed him, swallowed him down whole and started sucking and teasing the slit with his tongue the same time. Lewis felt like he was in heaven, watching Tyler's head bob up and down, until he thought he couldn't take it any longer.
He grabbed Tyler's shoulders, pulling him upwards and rolling them around again, before he grabbed his erection that was wet with saliva and his pre cum by now, moving it to Tyler's entrance.
"You sure you can handle it?"
"Hell, yes!" Tyler replied, bucking up enough so Lewis could feel himself slide into him with the tip.
"Oh God!" he screamed out in pleasure, pushing further inside and watching Tyler closely. He was tighter than usual, without the preparation, but he didn't look like he was in pain, so he slid all the way in until he was buried inside of him balls-deep, only then noticing Tyler biting his lower lip.
"You okay, baby?" Lewis asked hoarsely, touching his face and starting to kiss him gently.
"I am okay... don't worry... I'm good..." Tyler gave back, demonstratively starting to move against Lewis, and that was it. Lewis didn't need more confirmation and so he started sliding out a bit, only to thrust back into him mere seconds later.
He was so focused on Tyler, that he didn't hear someone enter the apartment. Somewhere in his mind there were footsteps, but they sounded so far away, that he didn't pay attention at all, until all of a sudden the door of his bedroom swung open and Alex appeared in the doorframe.
"Hey baby I-" Alex said, and Lewis stared at him in blank shock.
"Alex!"
Immediately, he slid out of Tyler and got to his feet, only then noticing that he was completely naked and grabbing a pillow to press it into his crotch. This was nothing Alex hadn't seen, but the whole situation made Lewis feel somehow naked. And vulnerable.
"What...what is this?" he heard Alex ask when he was standing in front of him. He looked pale and exhausted, and Lewis was afraid that he might break in thousand pieces if he touched him. He hadn't seen him like this, ever, and it scared the shit out of him.
"Alex, I... What... what are you doing here?" Lewis stammered. "I thought you wouldn't come home tonight."
Alex stared at him, and then there was a flicker of anger in his eyes.
"What? That's all you have to say? That you didn't think I would be home? I thought that was my apartment, too!" Alex blurted out. "What is this?" he repeated again, pronouncing every word.
Taking a quick look to Tyler who was about to collect his clothes, Lewis turned back to Alex.
"I'm... I'm so sorry, Alex... I... Tyler and I... this is not what it looks like," he murmured, knowing that this was the maybe lamest excuse ever, because it was exactly what it looked like.
"So you were not fucking your ex-boyfriend in our bed? Where you last fucked me two days ago?" Alex asked angrily and then there were tears in his eyes. "I thought I could trust you."
"You can!" Lewis blurted out, knowing that he was making everything so much worse with every word he said.
"Oh, really?" Alex shook his head. "Have you any idea what you just did? You destroyed everything. Everything we built up over the past couple of months for a fucking one-night-stand..."
Lewis looked away immediately, the guilt literally eating him up.
"What?" Alex yelled. "How long?"
Lewis bit his lower lip. "Alex, please..."
"How long is this been going on? How long have you been fucking your ex behind my back, huh?" Alex demanded to know.
"Not long. Seriously... it wasn't planned..." Lewis tried to defend himself, but he knew it was worthless.
"Well... you obviously prepared a candle-light-dinner for him... looks very planned to me." Alex replied, and then he looked at Tyler. "And you... how could you do that, knowing what I was going through?"
"What?" Now it was on Lewis to be surprised. "What are you talking about?" he asked, while grabbing his boxers and sliding into it.
"The past couple of days have been rough for me... to say at least..." Alex started explaining. "And I didn't tell you because I didn't want to make everything worse. And I didn't want to upset you. I didn't tell you, because I wanted to protect you from any more heartache... but you obviously couldn't do the same for me, Lewis... I don't understand it... I seriously don't get it why you would do something like that to me..."
Again, tears were glistening in Alex eyes. "I had the most horrible week in the world, and I thought I could come home and find solace in your embrace. I thought you were there to hold me and tell me everything's gonna be fine again, but instead I find you with... him..." Wiping over his eyes, Alex looked directly at Lewis.
"How could you hurt me like that? Why couldn't you be honest? I asked you if you still loved him... I asked you if you wanted to be with him instead of me. I gave you a way out but you told me you wanted to be with me..."
"I wanted to do the right thing..." Lewis said quietly, and the situation became harder to bear with every passing second.
"By cheating on me in a time I need you most?" Alex asked back. "Mark... Mark has made my life a living hell the past couple of days. He has made me tell him every single detail about Jackson. Every single detail since I found out he was using. He made me go though everything over and over again and every time I did, I thought I was losing a part of myself, but whenever I was with you, it made me feel better, so I thought I would be able to take it... and now I find out it was all a lie..."
Lewis swallowed hard, tears starting to glisten in his own eyes.
"I'm so sorry... you could have told me..."
"No... No I couldn't... I just... wasn't ready to talk about it... and I thought... I actually thought he was going to do it... but instead he goes and fucks my boyfriend..." Alex cried, his voice starting to break.
Immediately, Lewis turned around. "You knew about this?"
Tyler was already back in his jeans and Shirt, looking just as guilty as he felt.
"I just found out the day before yesterday... and I thought it was on Alex to tell you, not on me..."
"I can't believe it..." Lewis replied, shaking his head, before looking back at Alex.
"Please... let's... let's just talk about this... I really meant it when I said I love you... because I do... I love you, baby..." He moved towards him, grabbing his hands, but immediately, Alex broke free from him.
"No... No you don't... if you loved me... if you loved me for a single second, you wouldn't cheat on me like that... I need to get out of here..."
And with that he literally run out of the bedroom and even though Lewis was after him immediately, he only saw the door falling shut behind him, feeling his heart break at the same time.
"Alex!" he shouted, feeling tears running down his cheeks. "What have I done?"
He felt a hand on his shoulder, turning him around, and even though he wanted to resist first, he just couldn't. He pressed his face against Tyler's chest, crying into his shirt silently.
It took him a while to calm down enough to form coherent thoughts, and then he looked up at Tyler.
"I... I can't believe you knew!" he said, taking a step back. "How could you not tell me something like that?"
Tyler looked at him ashamed. "Because I thought it wasn't on me... I didn't want to get in the middle of this."
"You got in the middle of it the first time you shoved your dick up my ass and fucked me in this on-call room," Lewis spat out, knowing that it was more than unfair to blame Tyler, but he was so confused right now. And angry. Angry, with himself and Tyler, hurt and heartbroken because Alex had left and ashamed for what he had done to him.
"You didn't complain back then. You wanted it as much as I did," Tyler defended himself, taking a step towards the door. "But I should probably go now... let you think about what happens next..."
He grabbed his jacket and the moment he turned towards the door, Lewis literally jumped him, by grabbing his hand and holding it.
"No! No don't leave me, too!" he breathed out, feeling his throat tighten and all of a sudden it was like he was suffocating. His whole body was shaking and he gasped, clinging to Tyler as much as he could.
"Don't leave me... don't leave me... please don't leave me..." he cried, looking up at him and all of a sudden there wasn't only Tyler. His face turned to Jackson, then to his and Jackson's father, then to Alex and then back at Tyler. "Please don't go... please... please, Tyler..." He grabbed him and pulled him tight against his body, burying his hands in his back.
"I can't breath..." he said weakly, feeling his pulse race and it was like he was going to black out every minute. He felt like he was trapped in his own body and everything just became too much to bear.
Tyler Browning POV:
Sometimes Tyler was simply amazed at how fast things could turn on a dime. One minute Lewis was inside of him, making Tyler feel nothing short of euphoric and the next Lewis was across the room. Trying desperately to get Alex to understand something that was pretty cut and dry to understand.
He and Lewis were fucking and no amount of words was going to change that fact, nor was it going to change this crippling guilt that was currently claiming Tyler's body.
When Alex had called him out on knowing what the man had been going through and ignoring that to get in good with Lewis had felt like a punch to the stomach. It was not as if what Alex said wasn't true. He could have told Lewis...he should have told Lewis, but the moment that door opened and he saw the smile on Lewis' face all he could think about was being in bed with him. Of feeling Lewis thrust into him and make him feel like he was losing his mind.
Then just that fast Alex's problems were pushed to the back of his mind. His dick was the only thing that mattered and Tyler hated himself for it.
After Alex had left Lewis looked as if he hated Tyler for it too.
Tyler told the truth when he said that he thought it was Alex's place to tell Lewis what was going on. Lewis was his boyfriend and Alex had to be the one to tell him what Mark was doing.
It just wasn't the complete truth.
Tyler had to go and let them both cool off. Being here was only going to cause Lewis to get angrier and angrier. That anger would be focused on Tyler and eventually the two would just be in a huge argument. That was the last way Tyler wanted to spend his night.
"I should probably go now... let you think about what happens next..." Tyler had expected to get met with an angry Lewis all but throwing him out, but instead he got a terrified Lewis.
A Lewis begging him to stay. Begging Tyler not to leave him too. Fear had gripped Tyler's heart immediately
"I..I can't breath" Lewis said and fell to his knees and Tyler was rushing over and grabbing the man's shoulders.
"Baby" Tyler spoke frantically "what's wrong?"
"My chest", Lewis wheezed out "it hurts...am I having a heart attack?"
Tyler knew heart disease didn't run in the Avery family and Lewis was far too healthy to have one due to a bad lifestyle.
"I think it's a panic attack" Tyler told him "come sit down and bend over to breathe deep. I'll get you a glass of water"
Leading Lewis over to the couch the man bent forward and placed his head between his knees.
Going to the kitchen Tyler took a jug of water from the fridge and poured a glass. Making his way back to Lewis he handed him the glass.
"Drink"
"I'm okay"
"Drink" Tyler commanded and looking at him Lewis took it and gulped it down.
Once finished Lewis sat the glass on the table in front of him and once Tyler saw the man was noticeably better he started to rub his back "What was that?"
"Everything" Lewis said "I just think it all hit me at once. Then after Alex stormed out I just don't think I handled it well. I'm sorry"
"Don't be ridiculous" Tyler told as he pulled Lewis close to his body "you have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn't have said I was leaving. It was stupid and childish. We should talk this through"
It was the mature thing to do and if Tyler really expected him and Lewis to go anywhere they had to be adults.
"Why didn't you tell me about Alex?"
Then just like that all of Tyler's bravado was wiped away.
"It was his place to-"
"Stop it" Lewis said angrily as he sat up straight "why didn't you tell me?"
"You want the truth?" Tyler asked standing up "because I knew what you would do"
"What I would do?"
"I know you, Lewis" Tyler said "I would tell you that Mark is forcing Alex to relive every horrendous moment he's been through with Jackson and that April has washed his hands off him for good and you would have ran back to him."
"April...what?"
Tyler had nothing else to lose now. If he was going to be honest he was going to be completely honest.
"Addison let me know that April found out about Jackson and more importantly found out that Alex knew about Jackson and told her nothing"
"He was trying to protect her!" Lewis practically shouted "she's having a rough pregnancy"
"I know that" Tyler said "I'm not the one who told her to do it, but can you really blame her?"
"Excuse me?"
"The man has done nothing but drag that poor girl on a string and did you seriously expect her to wait forever?"
Lewis was furious. His eyes were alight with the fire that was bubbling just under the surface "You know absolutely nothing about the situation"
"I know that he has been with you" Tyler said "to the point of moving in together and planning a kind of future, but you don't love him the way you should someone you're going to spend your life with"
"I..I do love him" Lewis said "what he has done for me is immeasurable and I did this to him"
"So you owe him?"
"Of course not" Lewis told him offended.
"You are one of the most loyal people I know, Lewis" Tyler said "and I know right now you want to run out of this apartment and find Alex, because he doesn't have anyone and you will promise him anything to make him okay again. Even giving up what we have found again"
Lewis stood still like a statue.
"That's who you are, Lewis" Tyler said "what I did was selfish, but I knew without a doubt the moment I told you about Alex you were going to promise your future to him"
"I'm not something to be held onto like a piece of furniture" Lewis said "you had no right to keep that from me and I'm capable of separating wanting to make Alex better and staying with him because of loyalty"
"So if he came back right now and made you choose" Tyler said "either you never see me again or he'll hate you forever are you telling me you wouldn't go with him, because the thought of Alex hating you is terrifying?"
"I'm not going to stay with Alex just because he wants me to, but I'm not going to abandon him either" Lewis said "should I just let him wander the streets the rest of the night? Let him drink himself into a car accident"
Walking up Tyler pulled Lewis close to him "You let him sort this out" Tyler told him "you let him completely hate you for one night and in the morning you can go and try to work this out"
Lewis looked at him and Tyler knew he wanted to say something to refute him, but in the end decided not to "Fine" Lewis said as he stepped out of Tyler's hold "I'm going to bed" and he started to walk back to his bedroom.
"I'm coming with you" Tyler responded and saw Lewis turn around slightly surprised.
"we're not going to have sex, but you promised me a night with you where I get to hold you and wake up with you and I'm going to hold you to it"
Lewis said nothing as he turned back around and continued his trek to the bedroom.
Tyler knew Lewis might put on a face of anger, but once he was in bed with Lewis and after an hour of tossing and turning Lewis fell asleep on Tyler's chest.
The world and it's problems could wait until morning.
Alex Karev POV:
Alex had nothing left.
This night had been a long time coming and somewhere deep in the back of his mind Alex always knew that. The problem was he let April's smile and Lewis' kiss fool him into believing he was capable of having a life he could be happy with.
Stopping at the nearest liquor store he bought a case of beer and getting in the car he popped one open and took a long drink. If a cop pulled him over Alex really didn't care about what would happen afterwards.
The image of Lewis and Tyler together, in their bed, wouldn't leave Alex's head. If he could he would gladly beat it out, but even if possible it would only get replaced with April's harsh words and furious eyes, with Mark's angry stare, or Dylan Forrester's face that Alex had taken away from this earth.
Pulling the dashboard mirror down to look him in the eyes Alex sneered at the image "You're a piece of shit, Karev" he told himself "you always have been and you always will be and this exactly what you deserve. To be alone"
He hadn't even known where he was driving until he found himself parked out of his old apartment he shared with April and Jackson. Popping another beer open he took another drink and got out of the car, but not before taking out the case he had just brought.
He still paid rent to this place and if he wanted to spend the night drinking in his old memories that was exactly what he was going to do.
Fishing out his keys he opened up and it was dark, but Alex still knew the place well enough not to trip over anything. Turning on the lights he took a look around. Everything seemed as if it was exactly as he had last left it. Frozen in time and to Alex it had seemed like the guy who used to live here was of a different lifetime. One that still had hope that Alex knew was naive at best and painfully stupid at worst.
Taking his case of beer he went over to the couch and sat down.
He had just finished his second beer and was about to open a third when he heard movement behind him and standing up quickly Alex was ready to attack until he saw who was behind him looking just as shocked as Alex was.
"J...Jackson?"