8. Faux liaison
I checked the time on my phone, it was still tuesday, and it was still september but, it was past eight. Yet again I've lost control over my body and had no recollection of it. What did Mirror Anna did while I… was away?
And this new app, I had to check what it does, but not right now. Right now, is that time when I pretend to be a normal girl and pretend I'm not the weirdo I know I am. "Did Anna said anything, did she sounded angry or upset?"
The younger one took a deep breath before responding "She sounded worried, and, I think she cried before calling, she was sniffling a bit." Her face lost a bit of color. "Are you, uh, did you had a fight? I noticed you and Anna have been sharing some sort of 'twin secret eye code'." So she saw that, are we sharing a secret, Anna and, well, mirror Anna?
"I skipped our lunch date and..." And, then what happened? Why can't I remember? We are the same person I should know!
"Oh, that explains why you were so eager to help me buy tonight's outfit." Was I? But, why the inadequate black mini dress then?, I wouldn't recommend it to such a young girl.
"He, so you are the one I have to thank for this delightful view." Does she always talk that way, the way she delivers every statement is filled with something almost macabre. "This one over here is a beauty, but, she is so shy. A shame really, she is either wearing those librarian outfits or au naturel." Oh dear, you were right about them Elsa, they are like us. The blonde blushes and hides away her shame locking eyes to the floor. "No, no. Chin up, be proud of us, and more importantly of yourself." She gently guides her face to her eye level… and slowly advances kissing her. Their lips dancing to a silent rhythm, following no rules. See blondie, never doubt your instinct. Rory's eyes opened up, she looks worried, she looks at me in a plea, and holds the older woman's hand.
Malena looks at me, her gaze shows her disappointment. "You didn't told her about us. We have discussed this before, Rory, I was married to your father, it might not be normal, but our love is not stranger than anyone else is."
Rory gets close to Malena, she whispers something in the older woman's ear. The brunette pulls a fifty dollars bill and calls the bartender. She signals us to follow her. We went upstairs, she turned on the lights and asked us to turn them off when we were done 'discussing'. The second floor was filled with big round tables covered with chairs. I imagine they rent this place for events, probably weddings or private parties. We walked in far enough to find what a guess should be the dance floor. We grabbed each a chair from a different table and made a triangle in the center of the room. Once sitting, Rory closed her eyes taking a deep breath, preparing to talk, trying to beat her nerves.
"Remember the story I told you about my suicide attempt…?" Oh, yeah she did told me that story on monday, Elsa. I could somehow remember fragments of a conversation with Rory, it was about something sad, but I could not remember any details. "Well, I might have omitted some parts to that story. You see my father was very strict, he had a lot of rules, he was overprotecting of me ever since my mother died. I didn't have friends and was not allowed to go out alone, but then Malena came into our lives. She took me to malls, movie theaters, water parks. At first I was anxious, I was not accustomed to the crowds, but, Malena kept me moving forward. And we fell in love. For a brief moment I was happy..." Rory could no longer fight the tears that were creeping in her eyes for a couple minutes and stopped talking.
Malena got up and got closer to the blonde, made her stand up and holds her in a tight embrace, the height difference now more visible. "Rory had always fought with the concept of not owning her own life and decisions, and when the divorce was imminent… and we would be apart, that triggered a chain of terrible and rotten thoughts in her brain. She felt hopeless, abandoned, betrayed..." Tears flow from both women as the older one takes a pause. "I remember running upstairs, and finding her on the floor of the main bedroom's bathroom, I can't describe how terrible it felt, how afraid and powerless I felt. But I had to save her, I needed her to survive, and she needed me. And now we are here, together..."
Aw, do you see that Elsa? Even in the darkest of times, nothing can defeat love. Nothing can defeat love, when love is the only bound, but, Anna is not my step twin sister. No one in this world would ever say 'oh don't worry is not incest, they are step sisters'. We would be marked as pariahs no matter where we hide… and that if we were ever together.
Malena kisses Rory in the forehead, tenderly, like a prayer. "It's time to take you two home, it's getting late and you have classes tomorrow." She then looked at me with those specter pale green eyes, "I hope you can understand… us." She was so vulnerable, she looked so different than the woman I met at the bar an hour ago.
"I'm..." Wait Elsa, what are you? "… I'm in love with..." Stop it, you barely know them, you are gonna ruin our plans! "...with Anna."
The older woman remained silent, but the younger one… "Ha! I knew it! These couple of days this idea kept popping in my mind, every time you kissed or hold hands interlacing your fingers, and the way you look at each other, as if trying to devour each other". She seemed rather accomplished and excited about the news, as if she actually had discovered the culprit of a mysterious noir novel.
"Oh, this is juicy. Anna as in your twin sister, that Anna." She was enjoying this too much, in a weird way, but again she always come off as lascivious even in her most 'innocent' wordings. She tapped on her lower lip with her index finger a few times, she was definitely enjoying this. "Oh, don't worry about us, you can trust your secret upon us, we are certainly not to judge anyone's love. And we certainly know how difficult it is to own with pride a relationship that the world might not understand."
Despite what that other voice kept yelling on the back of my head, I told them the absolute truth. I told them about my teenage years of painful denial and resentment towards Anna's conquests. How I had a collection of cute, smiling, nude, and perhaps the most important feature, red haired women, on films and pictures in a password protected folder on my laptop ever since I was fifteen. Back then I could only deny it, pretend that I really was aroused only by their nudity and coppery mane. And finally about how I was planning on seduce her during the days, weeks, months and years waiting for her to one day…
"Ha, and you dare call Anna the 'sporty' one." Again that excitement and pride as she was about to solve a riddle it seems. "Elsa, I have lived with you two for less than a week and I have seen how you impact Anna's happiness. Your sister used to like me, as in like like me, but she never tried anything to be more than a friend to me. Trust me, I know how it looks like when a person has someone else on her heart." She holds the elder's hand and share a loving gaze, as if a full conversation between them. And Malena did not look bitter at all by the blonde's word about my sister. "You don't need to seduce your sister, nor force her to be in love with you Elsa, all you need is an act of true love, one that she could not simply overlook as fraternal, and act of love so pure not even you could deny no more".
I was already on the edge of tears when I confessed, and Rory's speech just stripped me from what was left of the strength I was holding myself back with. I was crying and wimping, I lost balance, but, I did not fall, the arms of those two women saved me, caring and understanding, as if we were more than newly acquired acquaintances… as family would. Their embrace was warm, tender, and somehow nostalgic.
Once I recovered, and gave my new confidants the thanks they deserved, we went outside. The air was rather wet and wind from the north tickle on my nose, I have always loved the cold weather to be honest. Rory and I awaited in front of the club while Malena went to the parking lot to get her car. I have this idea still on my head, might as well now that we are friends "Um, so Anna was into you? Will you have date her?"
"I mean, yeah, she is gorgeous and very sweet and kind. But you know that." Wait, but what about Malena, is she okay with something like… "Oh, you meant if I would have cheated on my… on Malena. Well, we are very confident in the strength of our love, and I think it comes from the time when we started being more than..." She looked around us and realized there were a few girls close enough to hear our private conversation. "...You know, before the divorce, we were already us. I don't care if I have to share her, because we are together, and she feels the same."
She told me about the agreement her step mother and she had made. Malena apparently was very clinical when it came to the relation between love and sex, meaning she did not saw any connection. Love was a complicated set of rules and commitments, an invention of humanity to ascend as species, sex in the other hand was a need of the flesh no different than thirst or an itch, nothing really special, unless those involved tried to make it that way. I wish I was like them, maybe that way I would have been happier when Anna was dating.
A black sedan stopped in front of us, Rory sat on the front to be next to the brunette and I was obviously relegated to the back seat. It was still about nine, not terribly late, but I was concerned, what was I supposed to tell Anna? 'Sorry sis, I thought I had gone insane, had to walk it off, but now I'm sane and ready to make you mine, and only mine...' Heat traversed thru my chest and crawled in to my crotch as my confession triggered that beast that lies dormant under every girls' skin.
The street lights relaxed me as we made our way back to the college, something in their repetitive nature soothes me down. We should be at the dorms already but Malena seems to have taken a detour. I look away from the night sky and those lich green eyes are looking at me thru the rear view mirror. "You girls like chinese food? You and Anna?" I nodded, just barely. I guess that is why we took a detour, I am hungry, and Anna probably is too. Now that I think about it, the last meal I have memory of is that plain high fiber cereal and milk, that was saturday morning.
For a few minutes it was only the blond and I in the car, I had so many questions to ask her, just polluting my brain. How did they first realized they were in love? Who else knew about it? "Are you happy?" My voice monotone and cold for some reason.
"Yes, we are very happy." No hesitation, no stuttering, no shame, her girlfriend would be proud of that. I smiled at her thru the reflection on the rear view mirror. "When she looks at me, I can still feel the same static fuzz going under my skin, like a cold breeze. If I call her on the phone she always makes me feel like she has time for me, even when she actually is on a tight schedule. She loves me free, she loves me tender, she loves me not for taboo, but, for who I am. She loves me like a woman".
"That's so fucking cute!" Anna, stop talking thru my lips. But yeah, I have never seen a couple like them. "Sorry, I just got carried away."
"Don't be, I also feel like that sometimes. We are lucky. Just like you and Anna, not many have the luck of coming together into this world with their other half."
I had never thought about it like that, not while my head was clear. It was almost always driven by lustful thoughts, but usually only focusing on the wrong of the situation, as if it was a curse. Maybe we are lucky after all.
Rory's girlfriend came back shortly after, holding a green see thru plastic bag with two rectangular boxes inside, I had never seen that kind of boxes but in movies and television. They even had some cliche red dragon design on them. I went back to the street luminaries as we head back to the dorms. Will it work for us? It is still very different to have a not so usual relationship with your father's ex wife, but, a legal bind is not a real one, for us it will be so much harder. But what if how it is supposed to be for us to be… happy.
Once there, we got off the car and Malena handed me one of the take out boxes, I hold it confused. "Here, you go with your sister, you two will need some space to talk. And about your proposal in the car, yes, we will gladly use you old dorm room. Key please." Her palm facing the sky, requesting the key. What proposal? I made a deal with her in the car while you were looking at the pretty street lights. Now give her your key, is in your jeans' back pocket. Just do it blondie!
I hate losing control over my own body, but some time alone just the two of us, take out dinner (the free kind none the less). A date. Mirror Anna you evil genius.
I opened the door, Anna was sitting on our bed, she looked distressed. "What do I have to do Elsa?" She was barely holding back tears. "Just tell me, I will do anything, just stop running away from me. Please let me into your heart and let me help you."
"You don't have to do anything Anna, just be here for me, I will not run anymore. I will tell you everything-"
"What is the wig for…?"
Author's Note: So many new followers and favorites. Hellô. About the music how about Love ridden by the artist mentioned in last week's chapter.