A/N: Sorry. I know this one took longer again than last time, but you know, with Christmas coming around and everything and me getting a bad cold, I'm just really busy. Thanks for the comments again, we really appreciate it that you're still reading our story and taking the time to leave a few words.

We hope you like Chapter 69!

Tyler Browning POV:

Tyler found himself in Jackson's room more often than not the past few days. He had talked to Hunt about pushing his start date back a week and to the man's credit he didn't seem upset.

It helped that the outgoing Cardio attending liked Jackson and didn't want to leave until he got to make sure the guy was going to be okay.

"He's looking better" Addison said as she took a chip from her bag and popped it into her mouth "the bruising is starting to fade."

Tyler sat across from Addison on the other side of Jackson's bed and looked down at him. The man's face was till an angry array of blue and black, but the swelling around his eyes and on his cheeks had dissipated, which was always a good sign.

"Yeah" Tyler said as he traced his thumb over Jackson's forehead "I won't be happy until he wakes up, though."

Two more days and Jackson was no closer to opening his eyes than he had been when he was first rushed in.

"You've talked to Holt?" Tyler asked "You know if he's doing the surgery?"

Addison nodded her head "I got to talk to him briefly about an hour ago and Lewis has signed off on it" she told him "Mark even seems more open to the idea, not happy by any stretch of the imagination, but more open"

"Truth is I can't blame Mark" Tyler said "I know he's becoming a bit lost in his grief, but he's not completely wrong"

"You're not telling me you honestly think Holt would try to kill Jackson during a procedure, do you?" Addison asked sarcastically "like him or not you know he's a great surgeon"

"Of course I don't think that" Tyler said "but the fact is I don't trust Holt. I know you two are friends and he wants to be this upstanding guy now, but I remember who he used to be long before he found the light"

"People can change, Tyler" Addison responded "but they have to be given the chance first"

"Believe me, Addison" Tyler said "nobody knows that more than me, but I've been on the bad side of Holt's anger and it's not pretty"

Tyler reached down and grabbed Jackson's hand "We used to hang out together. Michael, Lewis, and I, back when I and Lewis had first started dating" he began "I and Holt never really got along. He didn't trust me and I didn't trust him which led to Lewis having to play interference a lot, but he and Holt's bond was just so strong that I was convinced something was happening between them"

"Michael said nothing ever did" Addison chimed in "You think he lied?"

"No" Tyler shook his head "nothing like that went down, but they were always the brothers Lewis and Jackson could never seem to be"

"So shouldn't you be happy that Holt is doing this surgery since Jackson's well being means so much to Lewis?" Addison asked.

Tyler looked up at Addison "This man has tortured Jackson for months" he told "mostly for Lewis, but partly for himself and by all accounts it was ruthless. Even making Jackson believe the two slept together just to destroy his relationship with Sloan"

"Michael admits to that" Addison said "he knows he has a lot to atone for, but he can't do that if everyone keeps chopping him off at the knees"

"It's not just Holt" Tyler said "the reason Mark is so adamant about not having him do this surgery isn't just because he doesn't trust Holt" he found himself gripping Jackson's hand tighter than he expected "it's because he doesn't trust himself. None of us do"

"What do you mean?" Addison looked at him confused.

"It's easy to pin all this on Holt, or Lewis, or even Jackson himself, but none of them did anything we didn't allow them to do" Tyler could feel the guilt start to resurface "Ever since his father died Jackson has been used to being shuffled away. His mother did it after losing her husband, Lewis did it for most of his life, and even Mark did it after their break-up"

"That was something he and Mark both agreed to" Addison defended "if Mark had known-"

"Addison, I'm not telling you any of this to point fingers" Tyler told her gently "It's just...you've seen Jackson before the accident. You know what he looks like"

"Gorgeous" she smiled.

Tyler returned it "Exactly, and it's so easy to get caught up in it that we forget that there is an actual person under there" he said "I've done it myself. Walked into a room with him on my arm and the looks of envy you get from people who want what you have is thrilling. I know Mark has felt it"

Addison looked down at Jackson and Michael's words rang in her head "Michael said Jackson reminded him of all the people who were able to skate through life without a care" she spoke aloud "it's one of the reasons he couldn't stop"

"Jackson is one of the nicest people I have ever met, but he spent his formidable years alone in another country with people he didn't know, with a family who thought him easily disposable" he told Addison "eventually Jackson would have to see himself the same way too and to fight against that, to hold onto someone like Mark who he loved so much, Jackson learned to do anything"

"Lie" Addison said.

"For starters" Tyler told her "he allowed Holt and Lewis to dictate his life because he still believed that he was the same 13 year old kid who could be gotten rid of. The only person Jackson felt loved him unconditionally was his father and after losing him Jackson was taught that love had to be earned. That if you weren't the very best you could be people would leave you and that was his fear. That Lewis and Michael would show Mark that Jackson wouldn't be worth the love that Mark had for him"

"But he was" Addison said "Mark loves him so much more than I ever thought the man was capable of to be quite honest"

"I know that and you know that, but a lifetime of being told otherwise makes him doubtful" Tyler said.

"How do you know all this?" Addison asked.

"I love him...unconditionally" Tyler said "and I promised myself that I would be that person for him. No matter what he did I would be there"

"What happened?"

"I wasn't" he told her "he called me to tell me about Lewis coming to town and I knew how scared he was and I offered him a place in Miami, but he wanted to stick it out"

"For Mark" Addison guessed.

"Yeah" Tyler answered "I should have come here immediately, but I didn't and when I did it was already too late" Tyler would regret that decision until his dying day "so you see, Addison, Mark isn't scared that Holt will kill him Mark is scared that he won't be able to protect Jackson again. That he'll just stand to the side as Jackson fades from our lives completely. So he's fighting everything he sees as a threat, no matter how much it actually isn't"

"How do you know that?"

"Because it's exactly what I would do" he told her "what I have done"

"You boys" Addison smiled sadly "what am I going to do with you?" and walking over she embraced Tyler with a hug.

"I know you don't trust Michael and probably not even Lewis, but trust me and know that I would never vouch for Holt if I didn't believe it was 100% the right thing to do"

"I know" Tyler said as she kissed his temple "I'm trying my best"

"I'll tell you one thing, though" Addison said "I could strangle Mama Avery for not stepping up when she should have"

"You and me both" Tyler laughed.

"Then it looks like you're prayers may be answered" a new voice said from the doorway and with a startled jump Tyler looked to see a very angry Catherine Avery staring at him.

Lewis Avery POV:

Talking to Michael again had assured Lewis once more that he was doing the right thing. That this surgery was the best option to save Jackson's life. He had to let Michael operate on him and Jackson would be okay.

Michael had promised him.

Lewis would still be only able to watch him do it, but he would be there. He wouldn't leave Jackson alone ever again and he wouldn't fail him again. He owed him that much.

That was also the reason he hadn't slept ever since Jackson got rushed in the ER. He just couldn't allow himself to get some rest when Jackson was fighting for his life.

As long as Jackson was laying in this hospital bed and as long as his life was in danger, Lewis wouldn't be able to sleep anymore.

He had also barely eaten. Only some snacks from the vending machine, but he didn't really feel like eating and he most definitely wasn't hungry.

Sniffling at his clothes, Lewis grimaced.

He should at least get some new clothes or people would notice him starting to smell soon.

Fortunately, he didn't have to treat any patients. Chief Hunt had give him some days off, because Jackson was his brother after all, and Lewis was more than thankful for the time he had.

He made his way to his office, where he had at least another shirt, but the jeans still had to do it for now.

He changed his shirt, sprayed some perfume on his body and then he left his office again.

He wanted to check on Jackson, and maybe he was even able to have a few minutes with him.

Making his way to the ICU, he stopped in his tracks when he recognized the familiar silhouette standing at the door and looking at his brother.

Their mother.

Catherine Avery.

Lewis hadn't heard from her ever since he had left her the message. She hadn't called or messaged him back, obviously because she had moved heaven and hell to come here immediately, and Lewis couldn't blame her. He most likely would have done the same.

It still gave him chills to see her right now, because he knew he had to face her, and he knew she wouldn't be happy with what had happened.

Of course not.

It was his fault Jackson was even in this condition right now, but Lewis knew whatever she would accuse him of, he would have to take it like a man. He owed that to Jackson. And maybe it wouldn't be that bad anyways, who knew?

Moving towards Jackson's room, it took Catherine a while to realize he was there, but when she did, and finally looked at him, it felt like a punch to the stomach.

There were tears in his mother's eyes and at the same time she looked pretty pissed.

She made a step towards him, looking up at him.

"Mom!" Lewis said, and the next thing Lewis felt was her hand on his face as she slapped him. Right there in the hallway. In front of everyone. Like he was a little boy.

"I guess I deserved that..." he said quietly, feeling the shocked stares of Addison and Tyler, but he simply ignored them. It was hard enough not to start crying right now, because he didn't know what he would do if he lost his mother now, too. He already felt lonely enough, and he just hoped, he and his mother could stick together in this.

"What have you done to Jackson?" she asked and Lewis knew she was angry at him. And that she blamed him without even knowing what happened.

"It... it was an accident... he... I... I don't know... a car crash... there was another car involved but no one knows exactly what happened..." Lewis stammered. He couldn't tell his mother that Michael was the other driver and he most definitely couldn't tell her that Michael was telling the police that it was his fault.

"How? Why?" Catherine went on. She demanded answers and Lewis knew she had every right to know.

"He was... he was taking drugs again... which is my fault..." Lewis said, almost expecting another slap in the face, but instead his mother just stared at him with such coldness in her eyes that it hurt much more than every slap could have.

"I don't believe you, Lewis... why couldn't you leave him alone? Why do you two have to destroy each other's lives over and over again? Why couldn't you just get along?" Catherine shook her head, looking into the room and at Jackson.

"How is he?"

"There will be a surgery tomorrow morning that will save him," Lewis explained quietly, and the fact that now his mother wasn't even looking at him anymore felt like another punch to the stomach.

"He's gonna be okay, mom."

"You sure about that? Because he doesn't look okay..." She walked into the room, past Tyler and Addison and grabbed Jackson's hand.

"I'm here now, baby... don't worry, I take care of you now..."

"Mom, I..." Lewis walked into the room as well, but his mother cut him off mid-sentence and shot him a glare.

"I don't think you should be here. Haven't you done enough damage already? Look at your brother, he's fighting for his life, and all because you couldn't keep it to yourself."

"I'm... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." Lewis cried. He just wasn't able to hold back anymore. "I know it's all my fault and if I could trade places with him I would... don't you think this is hard for me, too? He's my brother!"

"Who you blamed for everything that went wrong in your life... You know... I always thought some day you will bury the hatchet. Some day you will recognize that you're family and that this is all that matters... I can't look at you right now, Lewis... so please, go." Catherine said, turning back to Jackson and stroking his hand, ignoring Lewis completely.

"I'm sorry..." Lewis repeated once again, looking down where his tears hit the floor.

He didn't care who saw him anymore. He had gone way past his limits and he just didn't know what to do anymore. He just wished there was someone he could lean onto, but he was all alone, and what made it worse was that it was his own fault. Now even his mother had turned her back on him and Lewis didn't think there was a way back ever again. He had destroyed his family.

Addison Montgomery POV:

Addison and Tyler stood in the hall solid as statutes as their brains tried to work out what they just saw.

The argument between Lewis and his mother had been both public and incredibly nasty. The slap doled out to Lewis had been a finality that echoed through the halls.

Addison saw Lewis look at her and Tyler briefly before turning around and heading in the other direction.

"You should go talk to him" Addison told Tyler "the guy looks like he's barely hanging on"

Tyler turned and looked at her. His mind warring with his heart "I-I can't"

"What do you mean you can't?" Addison asked "you can't tell me you don't want to"

"Of course I want to" Tyler responded "but I ended things and I made sure to burn that bridge to ashes as I did so" and the look he got from Addison was one of curiosity.

Grabbing Tyler's hand she pulled him around an empty hallway "What are you talking about?"

Tyler took a deep breath and looked down at the ground "I was so angry at him" Tyler started "he had chosen Alex over me and I was still trying to digest all that when he came to me and told me that it had been a mistake. That he did love me and really wanted to be with me"

"That sounds like good news to me" Addison said "it's what you wanted, right?"

"I wanted him to be with me, Addison" Tyler told her "because he wanted to, not because it was his only choice"

"Are you saying-"

"Alex broke up with him" Tyler interjected "Lewis wouldn't say it, but it was all over his face" Tyler started to wring his hands together "Alex made Lewis choose him and then he chose April, or the baby, or both"

Addison felt her heart go out to Lewis "That sounds horrible"

"It was" Tyler told her "but it doesn't change the fact that Lewis sacrificed what we had just to ease his own guilt. Alex didn't do that for April and I could never see Mark doing that for Jackson, but Lewis did so without blinking an eye"

"I feel as if that's not all you need to say" Addison spoke "that's not quite a burning bridge"

Now Tyler looked away from her with shame in his eyes "I may have let him believe that I was willing to forgive him"

"You lead him on, you mean?"

"I wanted to be the one to walk away for once" Tyler said "so we...spent time in an on-call room and afterwards I told him that it was over and it would be best if he moved on"

"Tyler" Addison lightly scolded "not cool"

"I know" Tyler told her shamefully "but you see why I can't be alone with him right now"

"I'm not going to pretend you and Lewis are right for one another right now" Addison said "but he needs somebody and I think the only one who could possibly get through to him would be you"

"Yeah, but-"

"It's either Lewis or Mama Avery" Addison interrupted.

The mere thought made Tyler shiver "Lewis" Tyler said "definitely Lewis" then making his way down the hall he did his best to prepare himself. He wasn't sure how useful that would be, though.

As Addison watched Tyler walk in the direction of Lewis she walked to Jackson's room and saw Mama Avery sitting beside her son's prone body.

Here goes nothing she thought.

Addison stood at the doorway quietly until Catherine finally looked up and narrowed her eyes at the woman.

"Do you think I could get a few minutes with my son?"

Addison was usually a woman with a quick tongue and had she been a woman of lesser quality she may have mentioned those few minutes were years too late.

But Catherine Avery was a scared mother and Addison couldn't be that heartless.

"I thought I would just catch you up on what's going on"

"I take it after that comment you and Browning made about me you know Jackson pretty well"

"Not really" Addison said awkwardly "but he's important to a lot of people I care about"

"So, what happened?" Catherine asked tersely "How did he end up like this?" she grabbed Jackson's hand and rubbed it lightly.

Addison could tell her the truth. He had bailed on an intervention and had probably ran a red light then collided his car with another one that was driven by the guy who had been torturing him for months.

Addison could tell her that, but she was sure that would only make things a hundred times worse.

"It was an accident" Addison said "probably a moment of distraction or something"

"Please Ms..."

"Montgomery" Addison offered "but you can call me Addison"

"I know my son's history and I know why he is more than likely in this bed right now"

Addison felt horrible for the woman. If it had been Henry in that bed right now Addison wasn't sure what she would do, so the fact that Catherine was even able to communicate at all was something.

"They've scheduled his surgery for tomorrow and Dr. Holt is an excellent-"

"Holt?" Catherine interrupted "not as in Michael Holt?"

Crap Addison thought as she realized saying his name might have been a mistake.

It was too late to go back now "Yes" she said "he's one of the best after all"

"Did Lewis call him in?" Catherine asked.

"He's been working here for a few months"

Catherine stood up with a look of hard steel in her eyes "Is that the case?" she asked "I would like to talk to him"

Addison knew she had to cut the train off before it derailed "I don't think-"

"With all due respect, Ms. Montgomery, I really didn't ask for your opinion" Catherine leaned down and gave Jackson a kiss on the forehead. Then walking to the door she turned to look at Addison "So will you show me or will I have to find him on my own?"

"No" Addison said "I'll take you".

It was better to be there and help diffuse whatever situation may have arisen than let an angry mother confront the very fragile man who was in charge of saving her son's life.

Tyler Browning POV:

Tyler had found Lewis in his office sitting at his desk with his head in his arms.

"Lewis?"

When the man looked up at Tyler his heart broke immediately. It was obvious by the man's bloodshot eyes that he had been crying and pretty badly at that.

Lewis had quickly wiped his eyes "What are you doing here?" his guard was up and in all honesty Tyler couldn't blame him.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay" Tyler took a step into his office "Your mother shouldn't have caused a scene like that"

"She had every right to" Lewis told him "I could've killed her son"

"You are her son" Tyler said "up until Jackson started going to medical school you were the only one she acknowledged"

"Don't say those things about her" Lewis replied angrily "you have no right to"

Tyler could sense an escalation approaching and that was the last thing he wanted "Look, I'm not here to argue with you, Lewis" Tyler moved a little closer "I just want to help"

"I got your kind of help two nights ago" Lewis said as he looked down at Tyler's crotch "I think I'm good, but thanks anyway"

Lewis went to go around his desk, but lost his footing and nearly collapsed on top of his desk. Tyler rushed over and grabbed him "Let go" Lewis barked as he pushed Tyler away "don't touch me"

Tyler knew something was wrong and knew it deep down in his bones.

It was the paleness of Lewis' skin and the emptiness of his eyes that gave it away "When was the last time you've been home?" Tyler asked.

Lewis scoffed "In case you haven't realized my brother is fighting for his life. Home is the last place I'm worrying about"

"Fine" Tyler spit out "when was the last time you've eaten, or showered, how about the last time you've slept for more then 20 minutes?"

The questions spooked Lewis, but he put on a mask of annoyance "You made it perfectly clear I'm no longer your problem Tyler, so why don't you leave me the hell alone"

Lewis went to move past Tyler, but the man grabbed his arm firmly "We may not be together, but that doesn't mean I stop caring about you" he said "now I'm taking you down to the showers and you're going to bathe and then I'll bring you some fresh clothes, then you're going to have an actual meal and sleep"

"You don't get to tell me what to do" Lewis replied "you gave up that right when you fucked me like some god damn prostitute in the on-call room"

The words hurt and Tyler couldn't pretend they didn't, but it wouldn't change the fact that Tyler wasn't going to leave him in this condition.

"You do what I say or I go to the chief and have you barred from seeing Jackson until you're well again" Tyler told him plainly and Lewis looked at him with a measure of anger and shock.

"So I guess this is what Jackson's life has always been like, huh?" Lewis asked sarcastically "nothing but one do as I say or else after another"

"It's not a threat" Tyler told him as he pulled Lewis out of his office and towards the elevators that would take them to the showers on the first floor 'I'm only trying to help"

"Funny" Lewis said "because it sure sounds like a threat to me"

Pushing the elevator button Tyler was granted a little luck as the door opened instantly and he pushed Lewis inside "Take it however you want" he said and stepped inside before pushing the button to level one "but I'm not going to stand by and watch you make yourself sick"

Lewis Avery POV:

"I am sick," Lewis replied once the elevator doors closed.

"Who else would do something like that to his own brother? Only a sick person and my mother is right. About everything she said."

"No. No, she isn't," Tyler disagreed. "And it's still no reason to treat you like that. You're suffering, too, and you're already blaming yourself enough."

"Whatever," Lewis waved dismissively. He just wanted this to get it over with. Let Tyler have his way with him, so he would leave him alone again. He was so sick of fighting, so sick of fighting back someone, that he just gave in. It didn't make a difference if he was in his office or taking a shower anyways. He wouldn't leave this hospital, though, and not even Tyler could make him.

When the sound of the elevator announced that he and Tyler had reached their destination, Lewis followed Tyler out of it and into the hallway.

"I think I can manage myself from here," he said, trying to get rid of his 'bodyguard' but without much luck.

"If you think I will just leave you right now, you're wrong... if I do, I'm pretty sure once I'm out of your sight, you'll get back to your office and won't do any of the things I said," Tyler replied, and he might have been right about that.

Not, that Lewis would admit to that.

"I'm not a little child, so don't treat me like one..." Lewis complained causing Tyler to roll his eyes annoyed.

"Then don't behave like one, and I wouldn't have to do so."

Together, the two made their way to the showers and when Lewis opened one of the bathroom doors and Tyler walked right in with him, he raised an eyebrow.

"I think I can do the rest alone... you don't need to play babysitter anymore. I'm sure you have better things to do."

"Matter-of-factly, I don't. And I'm staying, because like I already said, I'm sure you wouldn't even take a shower if I wasn't here watching." Tyler gave back.

Crossing his arms above his chest, Lewis looked at him.

"I'm not going to take a shower with you watching. I'm not undressing in front of you," Lewis said, and he meant it, even though that might be the silliest thing he had ever said.

"Very funny," Tyler replied, grabbing Lewis by the waist and pulling his shirt out of his jeans. "You stink. And if you don't start undressing like now, I will do it for you."

Capturing Tyler's wrist with his hand, Lewis stared at Tyler.

"Don' .me," he hissed.

He almost expected Tyler to step back, but instead he stared right back at him and there was tension between them. So much tension. Almost too much to handle.

Lewis' heart was beating like crazy and seconds became minutes. Minutes in which the two of them stared each other, with Lewis' hand still around Tyler's wrist.

"Please..." Lewis finally said, sounding more broken that he wanted.

"Why can't you just leave me alone? You're hurting me... I... I can't... I don't... I can't take it..."

"Lewis..." Tyler let out a sigh, lifting his free hand and placing it at Lewis' cheek. "You need someone to take care of you... and I can't let you do that to yourself... I can't let you treat yourself that way. Besides... Jackson needs you tomorrow... during his big surgery. He needs you to be there and he needs you to be rested. It helps no one if you black out from exhaustion in the gallery or something like that."

Even though Lewis didn't want to hear it, he knew Tyler was right, and he concern in his eyes went straight to his heart. He didn't understand why Tyler still cared so much after all he had done to him, but he wasn't strong enough to resist him any longer.

"Okay..." he finally gave in, taking a deep breath.

"Okay what?" Tyler asked and he seemed slightly confused for a moment.

"Okay... I'm gonna take a shower, and I might lay down for a while, but that's all I'm gonna do. I'm not hungry..." Lewis replied, causing Tyler to sigh again.

"You haven't eaten in what? At least two days? You need something, even if it's just a snack... please, Lewis... don't make me start worrying about you, too."

"You already do." Lewis said with a sad smile.

"And I'm... I'm sorry about that... it shouldn't be any of your concern anymore."

"You will always be my concern," Tyler admitted. "And... and just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean I can switch off my feelings for you within seconds."

"I screwed up so badly..." Lewis said, leaning his forehead against Tyler's, before taking a step back and pressing a kiss on his forehead. "I wish I could make it up to you somehow."

He turned around, starting to unbutton his shirt.

"You can," Tyler answered. "By taking care of yourself... or letting me take care of you. For now I need to know you're safe. I don't want to find you somewhere in the hallway, passed out, because you didn't listen to me."

Taking off his shirt, Lewis let it fall to the floor, before he opened his jeans. He got out of his shoes and kicked them away, getting rid of his socks and then he pulled down his jeans, and soon all of his clothes were on a small pile on the floor and he was naked, still with his back to Tyler.

"I'm gonna... take the shower now..." he stated, feeling Tyler's gaze in his back.

"And I'll get you some fresh clothes... I'll be right back..." he heard Tyler say and then his steps moved away and Lewis heard the door.

He could have grabbed his clothes, get them on again and disappear, but he didn't want to. Tyler trusted him in this, and somehow Lewis didn't want to disappoint him.

He stepped inside of the shower cubicle and turned on the water, waiting until it was warm enough, before he leaned against the wall and took a few deep breathes.

All of a sudden he felt weak. Really weak and damn exhausted. He could barely hold himself on his feet anymore, so he sank down at the wall and pulled his legs close wile the water was running down on him.

Before he even realized it, there were tears running down his face and he was a sobbing mess.

The encounter with his mom was still heavy on his heart and the way she looked at him... Lewis was sure he would never forget it. He had never seen her like that and it almost seemed like she had decided she only had one son anymore.

It hurt so much, and the more happened, the more he could understand how Jackson must have felt all these years, and it made everything that much worse.

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he didn't even hear Tyler come back. He didn't notice him, until all of a sudden he felt a hand on his arm and looked up, directly into Tyler's eyes.

"Lewis... what's... what's wrong?" he asked, and Lewis could tell that this whole situation was bad for him, too.

"You... you're getting your clothes wet..." Lewis stated, pointing to the still running water and Tyler's clothes that were getting soaked slowly.

"I don't care..." Tyler whispered, moving closer and pulling him into his arms.

Bursting out in tears again, Lewis pressed his face into Tyler's shirt and feeling the other start stroking over his back.

"I'm... I'm so sorry, Tyler... I'm so sorry..." he cried, clinging to him and not wanting to let go.

"Ssssht..." Tyler tried to calm him down, just holding him close, obviously not really giving a damn about his clothes, even though Lewis was sure it couldn't be very comfortable in here with him. In all his clothes, while he, himself, was naked.

"I am a monster..." Lewis whispered. "I did all those awful things to Jackson... and this is on me... I... I don't know how to live with myself if he dies tomorrow."

"But he won't," Tyler disagreed and Lewis could hear the crack in his voice.

Looking up, he could see Tyler's eyes were glistening with tears.

"He won't die," Tyler repeated again, letting one of his hands slide to Lewis' cheek and gently stroking his cheekbone. "He will make it through, and I want you to stop crying now. Can you do that for me? Because I... I can't take it..."

"Tyler..." Lewis pulled him closer again and placed his forehead against Tyler's shoulder. "I'm so sorry... I... I'm sorry I put you through all of this."

"Just... don't give up on Jackson, okay?" he heard Tyler say. "He needs you right now. More than ever. We need to have faith."

And Tyler was right. More than right. Lewis knew that he couldn't lose hope, and that he really had to trust Jackson to fight. And that he had to trust Michael to save his life. And then he could finally start building up a real relationship with him. If Jackson even wanted it. He would do whatever Jackson wanted him to, and if it was to disappear from his life forever, he would even do that, even though the mere thought killed him. He would do everything to make Jackson see that he loved him.