A/N: Having a bit of time on my hands I decided to look over chapter 70 to post it for you since I don't know when I will be able to post Chapter 71! I do hope it will still be before Christmas, but I will try my best! :)

Thanks for your comments! And of course we're hoping some of you are still reading and enjoying the story! =)

And now onto Chapter 70!

….

Alex Karev POV:

Alex's little girl had been alive for three days and with each passing one the man only felt more and more of his heart go out to her.

She still didn't have a name even though Sasha had been more than a little insistent that a girl that beautiful should have a name that signified it.

Alex knew Sasha was right, but he felt as if it wasn't his place to give the girl a name. It had been April who carried her, who cared for and protected her and it should be April who gave her the name she would carry the rest of her life.

Alex had brought a camera from the electronic shop down the street and he had spent a better part of two days taking one picture after another. Arizona had laughed at him when she had caught him snapping one of at least 100 on any given day.

"You're going to give her a complex" she told Alex "make her think that having a camera in her face is the only way to live"

"With that face?" Alex said "she's a future supermodel for sure" he chuckled and took another picture.

"I don't doubt it" Arizona said as he she looked down into the glass case and smiled down at the almond eyed girl and got a smile in return.

She had April's eyes, but her smile was all Alex's.

"Has she seen her yet?" Arizona asked. She knew it was a touchy subject, but Arizona had to know if April had managed to improve at all.

Alex shook is head "I've tried" he said "I've shown her pictures, begged her to just take a look at her, but the minute I even mention her April just gets angry and yells. The pictures almost seem to burn her skin"

"Oh Alex" Arizona said sorrowfully.

"What am I going to do if April is never able to accept our daughter?"

"She will, Alex" Arizona interjected "she's just going to need some time, but that's her child. April could never stay away from her for too long"

"I grew up with a parent who looked at me the way April does whenever I mention our daughter" Alex told Arizona "full of regret, fear, and...and hate"

Alex looked down at his daughter "I spent so long pushing April away because I was afraid of being like my father that I never considered the possibility that it could be April who would be the one to keep us at a distance"

"Stop it" Arizona said "you know April and you know that's not who she is"

"Isn't it?" Alex asked "We forget how much that woman has been through. We've lost people over the years, ones that we have considered family. Ones like George and Lexi, but what about what April lost? Her best friend whose body she tripped over and broke her nose, Charles who was as close to her and Jackson as George was to any of us; not to mention being held at gun-point by the same guy who killed them. Then to top it off the only person she had left from her life before Seattle Grace, the only person she trusted more than anyone, is fighting for his life just as she tries to reconcile the fact that she has nearly bled to death on an operating table just to bring a child into this world that for all intents and purposes she believed she would have to raise alone"

Alex could feel his emotions threatening to overtake him, but getting a hold of those emotions he looked up at Arizona "How can she be the same? He asked "How can she still believe in happy endings?"

He saw Arizona look down and away from him "I wish I had an answer for you, Alex" Arizona said "I just-"

"Just what?" Alex asked

"I have to believe that people like April can't have the best of them taken away" she said "I have to believe there are still generally happy people in this world"

Alex didn't tell her, but he held the same belief. He was just a lot more realistic about the outcome.

"Would you mind watching her?" Alex asked "Jackson's surgery is in a few hours and I would like to get a chance to see him before he goes"

"Of course" Arizona said "give him my best"

"I will" Alex smiled and made his way out of the door and towards Jackson's room.

Alex took a set of pictures he had developed the previous day and looked over them. They all held images of his daughter, a phrase he was still getting used to, in various stages. Mostly sleeping, but occasionally eating and smiling up at him.

He wanted to show Jackson and hoped that it helped in any small way possible. Most of Alex's time had been split between checking up on his girl, making sure April was okay, and talking to Jackson.

Arizona had been nice enough to grant him the time off until Jackson's surgery. She figured his time would be spent better doing what he could to help his friend out. Not to mention his focus was completely shot with a newborn and a girl he loved; both patients at the hospital.

Alex still thought about their last night together. The way Jackson had brought him back from the brink and yes it might have appeared to be just sex, but Alex and Jackson both knew it was so much more.

It was time for Alex to step up now and he was going to do just that for Jackson. He had to.

He had turned to go into Jackson's room when he saw a man standing there. Black leather coat, hunched shoulders, and it sounded as if he was saying a prayer.

"Oh, sorry" Alex said quickly and was about to turn and head out until he caught sight of the man's face.

Gary Stiles

The anger filled Alex in seconds and walking over he grabbed the man by the collar and practically threw him against the wall "I don't know how you have the nerve to show your face around here"

Gary was pushing on Alex's arms "Let go" Gary choked out as he finally manage to push Alex off of him.

"I came to see Jackson" Gary said "he was my friend, too"

"He was your client" Alex reprimanded "and believe me when I say those days are over"

Gary narrowed his eyes at Alex "You know I'm really tired of your shit" he said to Alex "I've brushed your insults and attacks off, but no more"

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, that's so" Gary told him "I can't believe I convinced Jackson to come back here"

"What?" Alex looked at him confused.

"Yeah" Gary said "Jackson was done with all of you. After the threatening phone calls and blame you all gave him he didn't want to come back, but I told him that you deserved at least a goodbye"

"Bullshit" Alex said "you've been doing nothing but separating him from us since the moment you two met"

"It's easy to paint me as the bad guy, isn't it?" Gary asked "But I wasn't some dealer who lured Jackson into this lifestyle. If you want to blame someone I suggest you blame yourself"

"We didn't-"

"You didn't what?" Gary asked "Jackson is my friend, whether you want to believe it or not, and we talked and he let me know what his life had been like these past few months and to say you all made it difficult is an understatement"

"We were trying to help him?" Alex said angrily "Not pumping him full of narcotics"

"Is that what fucking his brother was?" Gary asked "because if that's the kind of help you had to offer then Jackson was better off without you"

Alex hit him on reflex and as Gary's head snapped back and he toppled on top of Jackson everything seemed to happen at once.

Gary stood up and threw a punch that landed squarely at Alex's right eye and caused him to fly back into the glass window shattering it.

Then the two men were on the ground scuffling. One swing after another and just as Alex felt Gary connect with his lip and cause it to bleed he could hear the angry shouts of Eli and Mark as both men came rushing in to break the men up.

Eli had dragged him out of Jackson's room and down to an empty part of the hallway.

"What the fuck?" Eli shouted "What the fuck was that?"

Alex had never seen Eli so angry before. Not even when he had broken up he and Jackson's fight and now the reality of what had just occurred hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Th-that was Gary" Alex said.

"Is that supposed to mean something?" Eli barked.

"I-he"

"I don't give a shit" Eli told him "until Jackson's surgery you're banned from his room"

"You can't do that!" Alex blurted out in a panic.

"The hell I can't" Eli said "do you know the reason why me and Mark came in?"

Alex remained silent

"You're little fight knocked Jackson's IV out and it signalled the nurse's station"

Alex felt the colour drain from his face "I'm sorry"

"I don't care" Eli said" do you know what we thought when Jackson's emergency response triggered?" Alex looked at Eli as he imagined the scene "we thought that he was coding" Eli told him.

"It was a stupid mistake" Alex spoke.

"Get out of my sight before I ban you from Kepner's room too" and looking down shamefully Alex went past Eli and made his way to the bathroom to clean his face.

What had he done? Fuck, what had he done?

April Kepner POV:

Ever since things with Jackson had happened, April felt in some kind of haze, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't break out of it. It all had gone down way too quickly for her mind to catch up with what happened.

She couldn't quite believe that she was a mother already, and somehow, she didn't want to be a mother anymore

She had imagined it to be different. She had imagined her life to be different. And she had imagined the childbirth to be different.

She had imagined it being when her daughter was ready. That she probably would even be at work when her water broke and there were doctors and nurses all around who would help her. Maybe even Alex.

Instead, the shock of Jackson's accident had caused her to start bleeding again, and then she had blacked out, and when she had been conscious again, she had to push her daughter out of her body even though she wasn't ready for it. They both weren't. And now she had a baby she didn't want anymore.

She had been looking forward to being a mother. To actually meet the little girl growing inside of her, but now she just couldn't anymore. It was way too hard.

Also, she couldn't believe that she had let Alex be with her during childbirth. It was something she hadn't been prepared for, but when he had appeared in the doorway... when he had appeared next to her, she had just needed him. Those were the worst minutes of her life.

For a moment there, she had even thought she might die, because all of a sudden she had felt light-headed an then everything had turned black in front of her eyes, but somehow she had come back from that, too.

Maybe it would have been for the better if she hadn't. Then Alex wouldn't feel the need to stop by a couple of times a day to show her pictures of a baby that was just a baby. A baby that didn't feel like hers. April felt no connection to her, even though deep down she knew that it was hers. She knew it with her head, but her heart didn't want to catch up with it.

She wasn't ready.

And she hadn't signed up for any of this.

Addison hadn't even told her exactly what had happened after she had blacked out. Only that she had been in surgery. Twice. And that there had been some complications.

As if she hadn't know that by herself. She was a doctor after all, and feeling still so weak and exhausted meant there had been something major going on, even though she didn't know what exactly.

All of a sudden the door opened and April was already about to scream at Alex again to leave, but it was nurse Sasha, who greeted her with a friendly smile.

"Hey, Dr. Kepner... I'm just checking on your transfusion. Are you in pain?" she asked, while she did exactly what she said, looking at her.

Shaking her head, April looked back at her.

"Sasha, right?"

Nodding, the nurse moved closer towards her.

"Can... can you tell me exactly what happened after my daughter was born? When I blacked out?"

Biting her lower lip, Sasha looked away for a moment.

"I don't think it's on me to... to do this... you should probably talk to Dr. Montgomery about it. I can get her for you."

"No!

When Sasha was about to head out, April grabbed her arm and held her back.

"Sasha, please!" Tears were burning in April's eyes.

"No one tells me anything here... everyone tries to get me to see my daughter and no one tries to understand that I'm not ready for it... that I... just can't... but I need to know what's wrong with me. I need to know why I'm still not back on my feet... why I have this catheter in my bladder instead of just being able to go to the bathroom. Please, Sasha... I need to know something..."

"Dr. Kepner... I wish I... I wish I knew exactly... the only thing I know is that there were complications... and that Dr. Montgomery tried to repair your uterus... the bleeding came from there..." Sasha replied finally, and even though April could tell that Sasha still wasn't telling her everything, she now had at least a slight idea what might have happened.

"I'm not having any other kids..." she stated matter-of-factly, even though at the same time she felt something break inside of her. "This baby... destroyed my possibility to have any more kids... to have a family..."

"You have a family," Sasha disagreed, but without denying the obvious facts and that was confirmation enough for April.

"No..." April felt the tears running down her face. "I'm all alone..."

"No, you're not" a voice said from the doorway and when April looked in it's direction she saw Alex standing there. Again. But he looked pretty bad. Something had happened, and whatever it was, it had been serious.

"What... what happened to your face?" April asked, and she hated herself for not being able to hide the concern. She didn't want to love Alex anymore. Not after everything he had done to her, but her heart said otherwise.

"I... I ran into a door..." Alex said and moved closer to the bed, looking at Sasha for a moment who immediately understood and got up.

"I'll leave you two alone," she said, and before April could even react she was already out of the door and Alex sat down on the bed next to April.

One of Alex' eyes was swollen and there were a few little cuts and bruises all over his face, and his hand looked like he had beaten the crap out of someone.

"Please don't... don't lie to me again, Alex... I can't take it anymore... I can't take it, that everyone treats me like I'm made of glass. And I can't take all the lies... I want you to be honest with me." April said, lifting her hand and gently touching the swelling underneath Alex' eye, causing the man to wince.

"I saw the guy that sold drugs to Jackson right here... standing in his room as if nothing ever happened. As if he was some kind of friend or something like that... and when he told me that he is in fact Jackson's friend, I lost it... I know that was highly unprofessional, but I... I just couldn't stop myself..." Alex admitted, and April was glad that - for once - he was honest with her.

"I hope he looks just as bad as you... or worse... I hope you broke his nose or something like that... I hope you hurt him..." April replied bitterly and she meant every word she said. She hated this guy without even knowing him, but he was one of the reasons Jackson got into his drug use so deep. Because he provided him the drugs. The drugs that almost destroyed Jackson's life.

"He's pretty bad himself, yes... but I still think I shouldn't have done it... and if Owen finds out about it - and he will - I doubt he will just shrug it off again..." Alex said. "But whatever... it was worth it..."

This was the first normal conversation they were having - April had to admit - ever since she had given birth to their daughter. The first conversation that did not end in her screaming at him to leave the room, and for a moment there she was even glad that he was here right now.

"Is it true?" April asked after a while, feeling another wave of feelings trying to overwhelm her.

"Is what true?" Alex asked confused. He obviously hadn't heard the beginning of April's conversation with Sasha.

"Is it true that I can't have any other kids after... this baby?" Looking at Alex, her sight started to blur, because once again she couldn't hold back the tears.

The mere thought of her having just this one kid hurt her more than she wanted to admit. She had always imagined her life to be a happy one. With the man she loved and a bunch of kids, and now none of it would probably happen.

"April..." Alex started, but then he silenced, looking away, not giving her a real answer. Just like Sasha. All of them were just beating around the bush instead of really being honest with her, and it made her angry.

"Don't tell me now I should talk to Addison about it, because she hasn't told me anything either. I deserve to know what happened to my body, don't you think? And if you really care for me... if I really mean something to you, you're gonna tell me what's wrong with me right now."

She didn't want to have another one of those angry outbreaks, but right now she couldn't hold back her emotions any longer. Everyone told her to concentrate on her daughter. On being happy about the strong little girl she was having, but no one seemed to care that this was not all that was important to April right now.

She needed to know the truth. She needed to be able to process whatever information she would get and try to get over it.

"You know, you should give her a name..." Alex tried to distract her from giving her a real answer to her question and it infuriated her even more.

"I don't care about a name, Alex," April screamed. "Name her whatever you want... whatever you think it's right..."

"You should see her... please, April..." Alex tried again, but immediately, April shook her head.

"No! I told you a thousand times I don't wanna see her... It's her fault that she won't have any siblings at all... it's her fault that I almost bled to death..."

April knew she was overreacting. She could tell by the shocked look on Alex' face. She probably didn't mean half of it like she said it, but the words just blurted out of her without her being able to stop them.

"I hate her."

Alex Karev POV:

"I hate her"

The words were like a bullet straight into Alex's heart. "You don't mean that" he said "you couldn't possibly" but the look April gave him told Alex that even if she didn't really mean it she certainly believed she did.

"The hell, April?" Alex could feel something inside of him stirring. Maybe anger, maybe grief, or maybe just an overwhelming sense of fear that the April he knew, the April he loved actually did die on that operating table.

"That's your daughter" he said "how can you even say something like that?"

"My daughter?" April repeated "hardly. That's the thing that nearly killed me"

"STOP IT" Alex yelled "STOP TALKING ABOUT HER LIKE THAT"

Alex could feel himself becoming unhinged "I know you've been through so much, but that doesn't give you the right to talk about our little girl like that"

"Our little girl?" April laughed "look at you wanting to come in and suddenly play daddy" she sat up straighter "where was all this forthrightness the past 7 and a half months, huh?"

Alex went to speak, but found himself unable to.

"That's right" April said "you were busy playing house with some guy you met at a bar. The same guy who helped put your best friend in a coma"

"Me and Lewis are over" Alex said "I realized that-"

"I don't give a damn" April lashed out "I don't care about you or Lewis Avery. I have an idea, why don't you take that little girl you seemed to suddenly care so much about, find Lewis, and go live your perfect little lives far away from me?"

Alex could feel his eyes water "I-I don't want that" he choked out "I-I wanna be with you. You and our baby"

"I don't want you, Alex" April told him "you or that kid"

"You don't mean that"

"I've never meant anything more. It took me a long time and nearly losing my life, but I finally got your message, Alex. I do deserve better than you. Better than you and that kid and whatever fucked-up family you suddenly want to make. Now get out"

"No April we-"

"I have no problem calling Hunt" she told him "and after you're little altercation that's not exactly something that will work in your favour"

"Who are you?" Alex asked and in response April gave him a bitter smile that made his stomach turn cold.

"Just what you helped create, now out"

Alex couldn't risk April following through on her words of calling Hunt so he left and made his way to the NICU unit. The only place he seemed able to find any real peace lately.

Scrubbing and gowning up he walked into the room only to find Sasha and Arizona watching over the girl.

"Hey Alex" Arizona said and even through the mask she could spot his ever increasing swollen eye. Gary could throw a good punch and Alex was probably going to have it swollen shut for a couple days.

"What happened? She asked concerned as she made her way over to him and grabbed his chin to get a better look.

"It's nothing" he brushed her off "how is she?"

"Alex" Arizona warned "I-" she turned to look at Sasha "you mind?" she asked pointing to the little girl.

"Not at all" she smiled.

Grabbing his arm Arizona pulled him out of the room "Taking off her mask she gently did the same to Alex's. Once she got the full view of his face she took in a breath.

"What happened?"

"You wouldn't understand"

"Don't give me that" she chastised.

"It was a fight" Alex said "I walked into Jackson's room and saw the guy that had been supplying drugs to Jackson standing over him pretending to be somebody who gave a damn about him"

Arizona folded her arms across her chest.

"We got into it, I swung and he swung back and then we were fighting" he said "eventually Eli and Mark broke it up and then Eli banned me from Jackson's room until after the surgery"

"Can you blame him?" she asked.

"I knew you wouldn't understand" Alex said.

"Understand what?" Arizona asked angrily "that once again you thought the best way to solve your problems was through anger and violence?"

"This was the guy-"

"You told me who he was" Arizona interrupted "but that still didn't give you the right to decide who this guy was to Jackson. I personally think he's scum, but if Jackson is important to him and he's important to Jackson you're not allowed to judge that"

"Even if he was hurting him?"

"Was he?"

"No, not at that time, but-"

"But what, Alex?" Arizona shook her head in disappointment "You're a dad now" she said "that little girl is depending on you now more than ever and she needs to know that the guy who comes to her looking like this" she brushed her hand across his bruised face "is gone. And not only her, but April and Jackson are depending on you too and I know you don't want to let them down"

Her words were affecting him "I don't" he said "they're my family I just...I don't know how to change"

"You already are" Arizona "it hasn't been easy and you slip up like we all do, but you're not the same guy I first met all those years ago"

"I-" Alex tried to say, but the words felt choked with emotion.

"I know" Arizona told him and pulled him in for a hug "why don't you go and get some rest and come back when the bruising has healed some"

It was a good idea. He didn't want to scare his daughter and seeing her father looking like a monster would certainly do just that.

"Thank you" Alex mumbled into her shoulder.

"Don't mention it"

Alex found himself outside of Lewis' office. He wasn't sure why. The two hadn't spoken since that first night, but besides the NICU this was his safe haven.

He was about to walk in when he came to the conclusion that knocking would probably be for the best. Giving three knocks he waited for the man to answer only to have Tyler appear in front of him.

"Oh" Alex said suddenly feeling awkward and on edge "I didn't mean… I'll come back later"

He was about to turn when he felt Tyler's hand on his arm.

"Wait" the man told him "come in… please"

Alex could tell Tyler took notice of his bruises, but didn't push Alex about them. The gesture was appreciated.

Following Tyler inside he saw Lewis laying on the couch. Appearing to be in a very fitful sleep.

"He hasn't slept since Jackson was admitted" Tyler said "it took me all morning just to get him on that couch and now he seems to be having trouble getting a good rest"

Two days?! Alex thought how had he not known about this?

Of course Alex knew he had other things on his mind, but still, he didn't want Lewis suffering.

"I've tried everything" Tyler said "and now I've been sitting at his desk just watching"

"Have you tried giving him some medication?"

"He won't take it" Tyler answered "says he wants to be there in case there is any change in Jackson's condition"

That sounds like Lewis" Alex said "stubborn until the end" the remark got a laugh out of Tyler and just like that the tension seemed broken between the two.

"I want to go check on Jackson" Tyler said "but I don't want to leave him alone"

"I got it, don't worry" Alex told him.

"Thanks" Tyler said and the smile he gave Alex was one with a promise of friendship somewhere down the line. Walking over Tyler bent down and gave Lewis a kiss on the cheek before the man turned his body in the opposite direction.

A month ago the scene would have enraged Alex, but now he saw how much the two needed one another. Once Tyler had left Alex stood in front of the couch and watched Lewis continuously turn back and forth.

Walking over he toed off his shoes and lifted Lewis' body up just enough so Alex could squeeze underneath him. It took some positioning, but eventually Alex managed to lay beneath him and then he brought Lewis' head back down to lay on his chest.

Lewis tossed and turned for a minute before Alex kissed the top of his head "Calm down, it's just me" he whispered and even though Lewis was asleep he stopped the fidgeting.

Alex and Lewis had always been comfortable like this and no matter what their relationship was now Alex knew they always would be. They still had something special.

Feeling Lewis wrap his arms around Alex's waist and bury his head in his chest Alex could tell the man was finally resting. Laying his head on the side cushion Alex stroked Lewis' back and stared out of the man's office window to what appeared to be the first falling snow of the season.

Closing his eyes Alex let himself be lulled to sleep by the rhythmic sounds of Lewis' breaths.