Dolan and Gooby waddled through the beautiful town of traverse. Jiminy was also there, even though he wasn't in the cutscene. As usual, it was nice and desolate, with no inhabitants whatsoever. How they got there is anyone's guess...anyway, they were searching for the giant key. I think, I don't really keep track of what's going on.

However, Gooby noticed a disturbance in the force. Somehow he knew that something was wrong up in the night sky even before knowing that something was about to happen, or seeing what was actually going on.

"Look Dolan, dat star is going out!"

...The star wasn't doing anything.

"No it's not."

"But it's going to at any moment!"

"Yeah, sure, cool story bro."

Gooby frowned as he looked up at the star above, knowing that something was going incredibly wrong.

"Dis must be the work of dem Daleks!"

"I thought I told you to stop with the references!"

"Hyuck, but how else am I supposed to be funny?!" Gooby asked, his robotic Google Translate voice full of sadness and emotion.

...Gooby never got an answer.

"Oh look, it's Pluto!" Dolan remarked, changing the subject.

Pluto slowly walked towards them, looking as innocent and as happy as usual. He was completely harmless, just a regular Disney trademarked dog.

"You shall all burn in hell," Pluto recited.

"He seems to be as adorable as ever!" Gooby said, patting his head.

"Get off me you memetic mutant, or you shall suffer the wrath of Satan!"

"Awww what a cute doggy!"

"I hate you all."

"Do you wanna treat?" Gooby asked happily as he got out a bone.

Dammit...must...resist...primal urges...

Sadly Pluto could not resist the everlasting temptation of the large, shiny bone.

He took it from Gooby's hand with his teeth and started gnawing on it, wagging his tail and panting happily. So much so that he started drooling as well.

"Good boy! Who's a good boy!"

Gooby reached out his hand to stroke Pluto, but he bit Gooby before he could do so. Thankfully for Gooby, he felt so much internal pain on a daily basis that nothing else could hurt him, it was cancelled out.

"Hands off! I don't even know where that's been."

"You don't want to know," Dolan remarked.

"Now that you're here you can help us find that key!"

Pluto just laughed darkly at Gooby's naivety.

"Fuck that. I must devour more souls of innocent children!"

"Tell me...do the children have pants?" Dolan asked, with way too much eagerness in his voice.

"Well..." Pluto wasn't sure how to answer that. "Usually they do. Now begone you cretins! Continue with your pointless and idiotic pursuit."

"Ok!"

Dolan and Gooby then left to continue their pointless and idiotic pursuit. Pluto felt satisfied, that was way easier than he expected.

"If you do find the key then let us know!" said Gooby.

Pluto then sighed, feeling rather ashamed of himself.

How am I even related to him? he wondered.

As Gooby was exploring the town with Dolan, he started introspecting as well.

If I'm a dog...then why do I have pants and Pluto doesn't?

...

In Pluto's pursuit for souls, his nose and satanic powers sensed the stench of children (try saying that five times). As he walked across the dark, empty hallway, he actually managed to find said child.

His soul smells delicious...so pure...so innocent...pretty surprising for someone who seems to be really into bondage, Pluto thought to himself.

Not only that but he was asleep. And everyone knows that sleeping victims are the best kind of victims.

Pluto then started licking him to get a taste of that delicious soul...yeeees. It was like the nectar of Satan. Truly it was one of the tastiest souls has he has ever had the pleasure of-

Sora then started to wake up.

"Ahh...uhh..." was Sora's intelligent remark.

Dammit he's waking up, now my plan is ruined! Pluto thought.

Sora then glanced at Pluto, still in a daze after what happened.

"Is dinner ready yet...?"

He then realized what exactly he was looking at. Sora was a Disney fanboy ever since he was a little boy. Their movies and Squaresoft's RPG's were the only part of his life that he remembered before Kairi showed up and enslaved everyone.

"...Pluto?"

"Indeed, mortal."

Sora broke out of his daze, and his eyes started to go wide, doing that sparkly thing again like in anime.

"...You're...Pluto...?"

"I already said that I-"

He was interrupted by Sora's bone crushing glomp of affection, his inner fanboy had been unleashed.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IT'S PLUTO! IT'S THE ACTUAL REAL PLUTO AND I'M HUGGING HIM!"

"GET OFF ME YOU FOOL!"

"THIS IS AMAZING! I'M TOTALLY GONNA TELL RIKU THIS LATER EVEN IF HE WON'T BELIEVE ME!"

"YOU ARE LITERALLY SUFFOCATING ME RIGHT NOW...PLEASE...LET...GO..." Pluto started rasping as he was completely out of breath.

Sora then realized his mistake and he immediately let go of him, feeling remorse and regret.

"Oh my...I'm sorry Pluto! I didn't mean to hurt you or anything!"

Pluto then tried regaining his breath.

"It's just that I can't believe I'm actually seeing the REAL PLUTO OH MY GOD! in this place!"

Pluto then growled.

"I mean I've only ever seen you in things like cartoons and I never thought that I would actually see you in real life come to think of it where are we I have no idea where we are is this heaven are we in heaven did I die OH MY GOD DID I DIE?! Wait, main characters can't die, and-"

"CAN YOU PLEASE JUST STOP RAMBLING FOR ONE SECOND?!"

Pluto couldn't take this kid anymore, he screamed that a loudly as he could for no one to hear.

...Tears then started forming in Sora's eyes.

"I'm...I'm sorry..."

"Wait, no, don't cry! No need to cry...don't cry..."

"Ok...*sniffle*"

"Just stay calm."

"I'm calm."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah...I'm calm."

"You're calm."

"I'm calm."

"Calm."

"Very calm."

Pluto then sighed with relief as Sora finally calmed down. Unfortunately, he had a stupid grin on his face, and he looked like he could start fanboying again at any given moment.

"Anyway...as an apology, you can give me a treat."

Sora then looked confused.

"But weren't you the one who-"

"As I was saying..." Pluto interrupted. "To make up for your sins, there is something of yours that I need."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

Pluto's eyes then turned into gaping holes of bright red, and the music around them became very ominous.

"I need your soul."

"..My soul?"

"Yeeees, Sora," he said as his head started spinning. "Your soooooul~"

"You can have it."

"...Wait. What?"

"I said you could have it. It's not like it's important to the plot anyway!"

Pluto was shocked, no one else ever just offered their soul for free before.

"You're...you're just going to...give it to me?"

"Of course!"

"You're not going to ask for anything in return?"

Sora started to think about what Pluto just said.

"Well..."

Pluto facepalmed. Curses! My plan keeps failing!

"Maybe I could ask for something in return..."

"Ugh, fine. What do you want?"

Sora placed his hand on his chin as he thought deeply.

"Do you want fame? Fortune? Weapons that could disrupt world peace?"

"Not really."

"Well then what do you want?"

"Well...I like Disney movies...and I like Final Fantasy games..."

"Yeah, we all do. What's your point?!"

"If I sold my soul...could I receive every Final Fantasy game released from now until the end of time, for free, on the first day of release?

Pluto blinked.

"...Are you serious?"

Sora nodded.

"Well...sure. Your wish is granted."

Sora immediately started jumping around happily, celebrating like a child for no one to hear.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!"

Said Sora on the same day of losing his best friend and his home.

"Now pay up."

Pluto then gave Sora a contract and a pen. Sora didn't read the contract because main characters never needed to read unless he had to solve some kind of puzzle in a dungeon. He immediately signed, thus giving up his soul for all the future Final Fantasy games that would ever come out.

Sora knew he made the right decision. After all, he knew that the Final Fantasy series was eternal and would never decline in quality or popularity.

As Sora did so, Pluto then started laughing evilly, absorbing his soul while doing that weird twisting and chanting thing again.

"HAIL SATAN, DISNEY IS POWER, HAIL SATAN, DISN-"

"Are...are you ok?" Sora asked, starting to feel concerned.

"YOUR MOTHER COOKS DINNER IN HELL."

And with that Pluto returned to the depths of hell.

Sora was even more confused.

"What's a mother?"

...

Sora then explored the deserted town. Since he definitely wasn't in heaven, he came up with the only logical conclusion. This must be the first stage of this game, where Sora would start to get more familiar with the gameplay.

Why was it so deserted though? Was it the PS2 graphics that couldn't handle it? Or was something more sinister afoot...?

Sora tried not to let to his nerves get to him, and he continued onwards.

...

He then reached the Second District where he hoped that nothing bad would happen. Then he started to make a pretty big realization...

Everything he had ever had and loved were gone...

Riku...his games and movies...Riku...and that was pretty much it.

Oh no...where is he now? He couldn't have died, this is supposed to be a kids game...!

Panic spread through him, and he started breathing heavily.

And how am I supposed to find him when I'm here in this sparkling ghost town...?"

Before he could have a panic attack and experience some character development, he realized that there was actually an NPC in this place! He didn't know where he came from, but it was there. He didn't know who he was, all he knew about him was the name tag on his shirt that said "Insignificant Man."

Truly he must be extremely important to the plot.

Sora approached him with a big smile on his face, ready to accept his quest. What kind of main character would he be if he didn't do that?

"Hi Insignificant Man, my name is Sora? Is there anything I-"

"Don't blink."

The man looked extremely panicked and he seemed to be running away from something...I guess this is normal in a desolate ghost town though.

"...What?"

"Don't even blink."

"But I'm programmed to blink every few seconds! I can't just...not blink!"

The Insignificant Man desperately grabbed Sora's shoulders, sweat dripping down his head as he kept panting.

"You fool. They'll kill you, they'll kill us all!"

"But NPC, this is a kids game! You can't die, no one does!" Sora said, really disliking how close this man was to him. But he was a main character, so he had to live with it.

"What are you even talking about boy?! That is all meaningless now!"

"...D-Do you need me to kill some monsters or fetch an item or something...? Because I can do that..."

"There is nothing we can do now. We are all doomed! DOOMED I SAY!"

Sora then raised his oversized key, ready to face the challenge head on.

"There is one thing you should know about me, NPC. I never say doom, unless I'm playing Final Fantasy. No matter what challenge we may face, no matter the lack of decent equipment, no matter the difficulty setting, I play to WIN. So no matter what happens, I will make sure that both of us leave unscathed, and bathed in the blood, sweat and tears of our enemies! So what do you say, NPC?"

...The NPC was gone.

"...NPC?"

There was no reply.

"Huh. I wonder wh-"

"AHHHHHHHH!" the insignificant man screamed.

Sora then turned to the direction where the scream was coming from. He saw the insignificant man being enveloped all over his body in giant red tentacles.

"The tentacles...they're draining my life force!"

He continued screaming, but they only started to become quieter as he was dying at this monster's hands.

What life? We're all just 1's and 0's anyway, Sora thought to himself.

...

Meanwhile, at another location...

"Hey, maybe we oughta find Leon!" Gooby suggested.

Dolan didn't reply.

"...Dolan?"

There was still no reply.

"Dolan...? Do I need to rub your belly again?"

"Gooby..." Dolan said, sounding rather scared. "I think we may have made a mistake."

"Of course we have, Dolan. We're useless!" he said happily.

"I know, I know. But I mean...I think I've forgotten to do something very important."

"Like what?"

Dolan gulped.

"...I think I may have accidentally set the tentacle monster free."

There was a moment of silence.

"Ah well, dats cool."

"Gooby how on earth is dat cool? It could kill millions of innocent people!"

"Well at least it won't kill anyone important."

"Hmm...good point. I guess we'll just let the government handle it."

"Hooray for democracy!"

...

And now, back to the other location...

"IT'S DRAGGING ME INTO THE ENDLESS ABYSS!" the man screamed.

"Don't worry NPC, I will save you in this epic battle to the death! I will-"

The tentacle monster left immediately with the Insignificant Man before Sora could continue rambling. And now, Sora was left alone in the desolate town yet again.

The Insignificant Man was gone.

He was dead.

Never to return.

And Sora couldn't save him.

"Oh no..."

Sora then started to feel really sad.

"I can't believe this..."

Actually he wasn't just sad, he was devastated.

"I failed..."

He then kneeled down and banged his fist on the floor in regret and guilt.

"I can't believe that I...I didn't get to fight that tentacle monster! It would have been such an epic boss fight! And I probably would have gotten a cool reward for it too! It's just not fair! Why did the game have to tease me like that, I was seriously hyped right there to beat the bleep out of it!"

Sora sighed and got back up on his feet.

"It's ok Sora, don't let this get you down. You just need to do something fun to take your mind off it. Something that a main character would do. Like..."

Sora immediately summoned his weapon, gleaming with confidence.

"WHACKING STUFF WITH AN OVERSIZED KEY!" he shouted for no one to hear.

He looked around and he instantly found his new enemy. He glared at it, his key in his hand, ready to whack it until it was throwing up munny.

"You're going down, lamppost."