"Bella, we're leaving."
"You have to go."
Well that's no shock. I suppose I don't really care. No more playing at happy families, lying to everyone around me. No more stupid diet.
"You can either go to the Denali coven," nope, no stupid diet, "or you can just leave."
"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-"
"As long as that was best for you,"
"Personally, I think it'd be in your best interests to go visit Tanya. Get your head clear, stay out of human's way, focus on our vegetarianism. Then, when you can handle it all better...then you can come back. But I really want you to get better, I want you to come back to me, to our family."
What a load of bullshit, and she knows it. She won't come with, come to 'help me.' Probably something to do with that Duncan guy she keeps texting when she thinks I'm not looking. She should know my choice already. My fingers curl around the wedding band as I raise my eyebrow.
"You...don't...want me?"
"Jasper, don't do this."
She's not sad when she looks at the ring that I gave back. Just disappointed, weary. As am I of this relationship. It's long past time I did this. It's all been a sham, this whole pretending we're mates. In truth, she ambushed me in Philadelphia, started spouting all this shit about 'vegetarianism'. We got married because Carlisle said it would be best. I took Rosalie's last name so I wouldn't confuse all the poor little humans. I am sick of pretending to be what I am not. I am not hers.
"Goodbye, Alice."
"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."
I am numb. And yet, everything hurts. My hands are shaking. I wipe them on my jeans, trying to look anywhere but him as he keeps talking. I reply without understanding anything my mouth is doing, the sounds that I make. I am disconnected, watching myself from somewhere else feebly give in to his leaving me. I am weak.
"Goodbye, Bella."
I am left alone. In the forest. I sit where I am, trying to make sense of what just happened. Did...did I just get dumped? What a shitty way to do it too. I laugh, and the sound shocks me, bringing me to my senses. I begin to cry. Massive, harrowing sobs that rip through my body. It hurts, everything hurts, he hurt me. I need something to stop the pain, anything. I would say him, but...
At some point, I exhaust myself. I gaze forlornly at the forest ahead of me, sniffling and wiping my eyes, consider following him. To what end? To be hurt again? To be left again? Disposed of? The fact that I would willingly go through it all again just to see his face, to feel his cool breath whirl around me sickens me. Am I really that masochistic? That I would seek out the bringer of pain, of tumult and turmoil, just because he's beautiful? Because I'm in love?
The word sends me reeling, my stomach heaves. I empty it beside me, gagging until there's nothing left. The weightless feeling is nice. I could do with more of that. After all, I had been nothing but a burden.
On shaky legs, I stand. I try to clear my head, rubbing my eyes as I breathe in as deep as I can manage. I stumble back home. His car is gone. He is gone. It makes me lurch, but I catch myself, holding the door frame. Deep breaths, deep breaths. I can manage. I will survive.
I open the door and walk unsteadily past the kitchen. I wasn't aware that I was thirsty until I saw the tap dripping. Must have been all that crying. I grab a plastic cup, not trusting myself with glass in this state. I'm an accident waiting to happen. I turn to lean against the sink, gulping back the water as fast as I could. A glint in the sparse sunlight catches my eye. Above the fridge, a bottle. A glass bottle. A glass bottle filled with whiskey.
An internal debate ensues, but the winner is clear from the start. Charlie won't realize, there's cola in the fridge to mix it with, and I'm alone in need of numbing. I grab the bottle and cola and head on up to my room.