*So I just recently learn what a beta reader was and feel oblidged to let you know that I don't have one, so if do let me know if something is amiss. I try but mistakes happen.

*And thanks for the love! I've always had a thing for the "hate to love, love to hate" relationships... with a bit of sick in twisted in the mix ;)

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Vivian didn't want to move, she hurt too much. But the pain hurt more mentally than it ever could physically. She didn't want to have to get up and face the reality of the last twenty four hours and she definitely didn't want to have to face her own demons.

Betrayal rang deep in her heart against Maxson and against herself for Nate. She had trusted the Elder, had honestly believed would have been able to at least talk with him before he lashed out. But what stung the most was how her own body just gave in to him as if her husband's corpse met nothing.

But as much as she wanted to, Vivian couldn't just give up. She didn't allow Kellogg to break her and she damn sure wasn't about to let Maxson have that privilege. It took her longer than it should have, but the General finally brought herself to sit up, cringing as her insides throbbed.

She took a long, deep breath as she sat on the edge of the bed and gathered herself together, absentmindedly rubbing her chaffed wrists. Her pale eyes crossed the room, taking in his armament containers and bathroom on the other side of the middle table, dresser and couch on her side and what could only be her uniform crumpled in a pile by the bed.

At the very least, Vivian was alone and could clean the filth from her body and start getting back into her own skin. She lifted her arm to check the time when she realized that her Pip-Boy was missing from her arm.

"That son-of-a-bitch!" She hissed, jumping up ready to storm through the door. But she as soon as she stood, her head swooned from rising too fast and Vivian made herself sit down.

She needed a fucking plan. None of her stuff was with her and she doubted Maxson would let her get it. However, the way the Elder had spoke, it seemed like she was still allowed to move about the Prydwen which gave her options. But she wouldn't have that 'grace' without being watched, that much was certain.

"Fuck!" Vivian cursed, running her hands through her messy hair. Taking another deep breath, she stood slower, figuring the first step was to get clean and into clothes.

Moving over to the shower with a sigh, she turned the water on hot and let it pour down her battered frame. She had noticed bite marks across her breasts, something she once took pride in with Nate but it just hurt to know it was Maxson's. He didn't deserve that kind of visual claim on her. It was bad enough he came inside of her twice, she didn't need anything else to remind her of what he did.

When she was done, the only towel there was to dry up with was his, much to her chagrin. But Vivian was hasty to get out of room and wasted little time in drying up. She didn't realize her suit was ripped until it was on, showing way more cleavage than the uniform was supposed to. Scoffing but doing what she could with the buckles, Vivian managed to get most of her breasts covered and figured she could just find another in her size.

Glancing back at Elder's personal weapons cache, she hoped to get something useful but found every damn container locked. And without her own stuff, she couldn't unlock a damn thing. "Godammit!" Vivian kicked the metal cabinet.

She need to get into her room. If the General was honest with herself, she needed a lot of things but one step at a time.

Vivian exhaled as she grasped the door handle, not entirely sure what she should expect. Her anxiety rose as it turned and she stepped into the hall.

But everything was the same. Everyone was doing what they normally do, and no one, save the guard that saw her leaving the Elder's room, noticed her and they didn't seem to care enough to raise a gun.

So Vivian walked over to her quarters and tried to enter but found herself locked out. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She tried forcing in the door but that was useless.

"Paladin?" a voice rang out from behind her and she jumped, instantly reaching for her sidearm that wasn't there. Captain Kells was walking over to her casually from his room, an amused smile on his lips.

"Uh, yes, Sir?" Vivian wasn't sure how she should respond she didn't fucking know what Maxson had told everyone.

"First off, I must say that I appreciate how much you've thrown yourself into our cause but even the best soldiers need time to heal. Don't be too upset with the Elder for these restrictions." Kells leaned beside her with a key ring an unlocked her door.

She was a little dumbfounded at the Captain's words but followed him into her room, needing some kind of answers.

Looking pointed at the Paladin, he started speaking again. "Remember, no weapons, no power armor, no getting off the ship. Not until you're healed and cleared for duty."

"No- what?" Vivian stuttered and he seemed to get a little impatient.

"You heard me. Don't make me tell the guards to watch you even more. I know for whatever reason you like to be out in the field but you need to let yourself get better. Injuries are no laughing matter, soldier. Now grab what you need for the day, the rest of your gear will stay locked up until later." When he saw Vivian's exasperated expression he continued a little softer. "We just want to make sure you don't try and run off into a fight again when you need rest. Though you wouldn't be the first to try stunts like that, we can't afford to lose you to pride."

"Of course not," Vivian replied sarcastically. That bastard really thought this shit out, didn't he? Vivian tried to look relaxed as she grabbed an extra uniform and what looked to be personal-use items to the Captain.

But only the naïve thought that there was only one use for bobby-pins, a brush, a lighter and cigarettes. Vivian knew better. She was already making plans, they just required her to play her part.

"Alright, I got what I need, Sir. I appreciate you letting me get my things."

"Of course, Paladin. Being on restrictions is never fun but at least this is only until you heal. It's not as uncertain as Paladin Brandis, so please, just have patience."

"Yeah, patience…"

As he relocked her door, Captain Kells glanced at Vivian with a final nod before turning around and climbing up the ladder to the command room.

Vivian didn't know what her next move should be. She had the idea to start a distraction fire with the cigarette in hopes of hopping into a suit of Power Armor and blending in with the other guards. She could unlock her door and get the rest of her shit but she stilled needed her Pip-Boy.

Not only did it have a pretty comprehensive list of notes she had transcribed into the damn thing but there was always that holotape she kept in it, even when it made it take longer to listen to knew ones on the run. Aside from the Memory Den, and Vivian wasn't all too sure about going there for that a third time, that holotape was all she had left to hear Nate's voice.

Maybe patience was the key.

Either way, Vivian needed to find the perfect spot to set a fire that would get everyone away from the power armor for a few minutes. Whether it was today or a week from now, she was getting off the damn ship.

As she headed towards the shower room by the end of main deck, Vivian reminded herself that her people knew exactly where she was and what she was doing. Only so long could go by without them getting worried and they would go trying to find her. That much, she was sure of.

But she wasn't entirely sure what game the Elder was playing at. Maybe the guards were watching her a bit more but no one was eyeing her like a traitor. Had he really just made up some crack pot story about an injury?

No matter. She was a resilient little bitch in most aspects and she would outmaneuver this and gain the upper hand. There was no other option. These people were not going to die because of their Elder.

She hoped.

Vivian made it to the shower room without any incident, thankful it was empty. As she stripped out of the ripped uniform, she caught her reflection in the mirror, noticing dark bruises around her neck. "Bastard," she muttered before grabbing the other suit.

Once fully dressed, marks thankfully covered by the uniform, Vivian felt a little better. It wasn't much, but at the very least no one else could see the array of black and blue.

Now onto her plans. Stepping out the washroom, she looked around giving an overly sarcastic smirk and wave to another power armored guard facing her direction. Casually strolling by an empty workbench, Vivian slid a screwdriver off the surface and into her sleeve. It was a weapon if it came down to to that and the last piece needed to pick any locks.

Cold eyes shot back to Maxson's door. As much as she really didn't want to go back in their willingly, she needed her Pip-Boy. She just hoped he didn't have it on hand.

The Paladin took her time making her way back to the front, waiting for the guard by the ladder to move before she slipped in and closed the door to Maxson's room.

It was empty, much to Vivian's relief. She was instantly at the locked containers to her left, setting the bobby-pin box on the floor as she meticulously started clicked each open. None of the ammo boxes or drawers from the stand had her Pip-Boy so she turned to the shelves and drawers behind her and still found nothing. Frustrated she stood, her gaze settling on his desk.

If it wasn't there then it was on him.

Vivian was over there in a heartbeat, but the only lock was harder than the others and she snapped her pin on the first try. "Dammit," She tried again and had it nearly done when it snapped again. "Fuck!" Taking a deep breath, she tried again, a sigh of relief when she heard the tale tell 'click' that said she had unlocked it. Though, before she could open the drawer, a deep voice filled the room that froze her in the spot.

"Now what do you think you're doing, Paladin?"

"Elder," she replied coolly, turning to look at him.